Following the Leader

This cute and innocent creature is simply trying to do too much at the moment. She’s at the age where she’s too small to do things but she doesn’t want to miss out on anything. She wants to copy and takes part in everything that her big sister does; and gets frustrated when she doesn’t get the same opportunities or attention. She will try to fight off every physical exertion, no matter how tired she gets, until she gets the same or similar treatment. She’s too young to understand that sometimes in life you must wait your turn for your moment to shine. Hang in there, little one. One day you’ll develop your own thread and will want to do different things. You’ve just got to learn patience and one day you might outshine your older sibling. But until then, the world just wants you to remain as little and cute and cuddly as possible.

Entertaining

I might seem like a true party pooper with this next piece; but when I did attend this party it was straight after finishing a shift at work with the intention of just picking up my mother who’d been there all day. Enter the idea of picking out music videos on the TV. This was clearly ill prepared as the hosts had no idea how to do this or the equipment required. We ended up installing an update for an app on the idea while we anxiously cheered on the progress bar in the hope that there would be voice recognition when the update was complete. It was clearly not. After that it was a case of choosing the same person who fumbled with the remote every time when it came to punching in the name of the next song. The poor guy operating the remote sat behind the fireplace, so he didn’t have a clear view of what was going on. He even insisted on looking up the name of the group before typing it in rather than just typing in the song name. Perhaps another game should have been prepared.

I Want to Ride My Bicycle!

What’s the best thing for children to do on Christmas day? Go outside and play! There wasn’t any snow, but these kids had wheels. So after Christmas dinner and in the last hour of daylight it was time to don hats and coats and hit the rec ground opposite where my brother lives. As we went outside, he magically made bicycles appear from his van; where he’d been storing them out of the way to give the other thirteen of us a bit more room in the house. The oldest child had the biggest bike, and it was time for her to start learning to ride without stabilisers. Luckily Dad wasn’t far behind to stop her from toppling over. The other two did have stabilisers fitted, but couldn’t grasp the concept of pedalling to make the bike move at all. This resulted in a lot of pushing across the rec ground by the grown-ups to make the thing move, which they enjoyed much more than the pedalling that they failed to grasp.

Mistaken Fortunes

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -Dalai Lama

Sometimes there's an error in our favour. You might be given the wrong meal that you ordered, and it turned out to be nicer than you expected. Not being able to travel to somewhere you'd planeed to go to may save you time in the long run because of bad weather or delays on the roads. Or you spend your time wisely and you get more tasks completed than you thought you would because a friend lets you down. There's a lot of times in lifewhen things don't always go your way, but it's how you react to the situation that makes you a better person. You can kick and scream all you like; but that won't necessarily change the outcome in a positive manner. You have to look at how you can turn that frown upside-down. Sometimes, a simpler method using a bit less effort will make life much easier.

A Christmas Mohican

This gentleman loves to be a jester and show his own independence, whether it’s arriving in his own time for Christmas dinner or playing a trick on each and every person in the room. It’s not surprising that he owns his own dress-up kit, and that he can tailor it for any occasion. He’s not embarrassed by anything and he’s happy to be the life and soul of the party. He loves being the centre of attention and wants to be the organiser of everything rather than play along. He’s happy to be smart and casual and never makes the effort except when he wants to be the star of the show. But he’d rather sit down and play with you on a one-to-one level than have a meaningful conversation. He’s also happy to play with the children that are least likely to interact with him; so he doesn’t have to anticipate a negative response. To that end, he’s a strange one.

Click and Collect

I was quite looking forward to this comedy; after all the plot is based on an industry that I’m involved with. But ultimately, it wasn’t about war on commercial Christmas itself; but a journey about how one man managed to recover his Christmas spirit. It was a tad predictable at times and it’s a shame that some of the sequences had to be cut; especially when Andy falls off the roof of his car. It did make for an enjoyable little comedy that was quite different; even if it did have a lanky white-collar git and a dosser teaming up together with plenty of awkward silence moments in between. There’s also a tremendous amount of feel-good from the deeds involved, even when they have to take the law into their own hands to do their mission justice. I’ve never known anyone to honk as they drive past a house’s Christmas lights though, and I’ve never known anyone to leave them on day and night. Must be a southern thing.

Merry Christmas!

So if there really is a jolly fat man whose mission is to deliver toys to all the children in the world in one night, then why does he choose to reside in the North Pole? It’s one of the remotest places on the planet. Surely he’d choose to settle down somewhere that’s a bit more central to make things easier? Or the other hand, he may have chosen the location to get away from our increasing population with the excuse that it’s too much work to meet the demand. With the ice caps melting, we’re bound to discover him sooner or later. Unless of course, he’s already moved underground and into the desert. If it was me, I’d operate it from the moon as it would always be in sight should anything go wrong. With the speed that I travel, getting out of orbit and onto the planet should be no trouble at all.

Meddling With Meercats

It’s car insurance renewal time again – just what you want to think about on Christmas Eve. But be as it may, the cogs of the world must turn on. This year, the people at the office want to charge me an extra £65 for their electronic mail; despite me not having to contact them at all in the last twelve months other than to buy the legal document that I required the year before. Yet other providers are quite happy to charge me £95 less for their services which have some bonus extras flung in as well. It’s almost as if my current provider has already decided that they don’t want their custom this year as they have plenty of other people who need their services to deal with. So naturally I haven’t renewed and had a word with the meerkats who did find me a better deal; and then I got confused with another comparison site who managed to save me a tiny bit more for the exact same policy. I just hope that they don’t try crawling to me with their hands outstretched next year.

Stockport South Island Pale at the Weatheroak Taphouse, Studley

Pale folk come from the south. They have better jobs so that they can afford more expensive fresher ingredients in their cooking which is healthier for them. They’re represented by a triangle because they’re more physically active and contribute a lot more to society because they fit together. Because those that live in the north have much whiter faces. They see the sun a lot less so they tend to remain indoors. Their jobs tend to be more menial which puts them on a lower income, meaning that they can only afford the cheaper ingredients and spend more money on snacks and unhealthy foods; especially when they’re on special offer. And that’s their ultimate downfall because they stock up and then use up their supply a lot faster because it’s always in front of them. This causes them to be represented by a circle because of their more rounded fattening shape which causes problems when they have to work together because they don’t rest side by side.

It's Gone Time

It’s a mad dash for the shops as everyone’s coming in for their last grocery shop before Christmas. People are struggling to cope as most retailers will be closed for a whole day. There’s cars everywhere and trollies are only to be found scattered about the car park. Some people are darting in for the last thing that they’ve forgotten in the hope of grabbing it and making a quick exit. Others are simply confused as they carry a single bell pepper outstretched in front of them as if it was a hand grenade. There’s people in pyjamas and onesies stacking shelves and a woman pushing a trolley of freshly baked loaves as though they were bricks. After doing several U-turns in the frozen aisle to avoid the chaos of trollies everywhere and catching up with my mother on the next aisle; we swing behind a single old man with a broken arm who’s dumped his basket on the conveyor belt. Naturally, it’s up to me to remove it. Our escape isn’t too bad; there’s still space to reach around the back of the car to load up and go.

Making Tracks

I love the feel of fresh snow. I love the sound of the first scrunch as you make your first mark with your foot. The deeper the better, unless you’re in a hurry then it’ll slow you down and you should really allow extra time for your journey. If the roads have fresh snow then it’s a big no-no. Of course, later on when the snow stops falling, it’s hard to find a fresh patch when you’re in an urban area. It’s all been trodden on and scrunched together, and it’s no longer smooth. And as it’s been compacted, it’s more likely to freeze overnight and become extra slippery. Compacted snow also takes longer to melt away. But when the compact snow has taken over, there’s very little effort from people to get out there and make tracks or even build a snowman. They’d rather just hole up inside and let someone else do it.

Droning on About Drones

Why is everyone droning on about drone disruption? The technology has been around for a while now; so surely the government should have foreseen this kind of trespassing? There’s been a lot of talk about drone registration and law enforcement when drones reached the shelves so why hasn’t this been actioned? What’s happened to the jamming posts which should be fitted on the airport’s perimeter fences to prevent these incidents from happening? In any case, there’s only one airport which seems to have been affected, so is this a case of being caught with their trousers down? If they’re not enforcing their borders, then ultimately they should be the ones responsible if they’re not doing their civic duty to catch the perpetrators. They’ve talked about shooting the drone down but why haven’t they acted? And why aren’t aircraft fitted with similar jamming devices to prevent drones from getting near them while they’re in the air? It just goes to show how behind the times our government really is.

Frosty the Snow Boy

On a cold winter’s day two innocent little girls have built a snowman in their garden. They had great fun running around in the garden gathering up all the loose snow around them until it began to form a ball. They ran out into the park opposite and found some felled branches which they fashioned into arms, and their mother gave them some chopped cucumber to use as eyes. A few pokes with a finger created teeth and some stones pushed into his base formed his buttons. But this snowman certainly isn’t innocent when the night settles. As soon as the curtains are closed he’ll vault the fence and create as much havoc as he possibly can. He’ll tear down your Christmas lights, ice up your windshield and create as much ice as possible to trip you up as soon as you set foot outside of your house. And all because you made him ugly.

What Small Thing can tell you a lot about a Person?

A confused person is easy to spot; especially if their head is spinning left and right as if they’re looking for something. They might even dart back and forth from one point to another in their quest for their search. When you’re an assistant, these are the signals that you have to look out for; even though they might be one of the most confident people that you’ve ever seen walk through your door. What might be obvious to you might not necessarily be obvious to them. Even when you’ve explained what’s going on and pointed out where they need to go and what they have to do; there’s always the chance that they’ll misunderstand your instructions and you’ll have to walk them through it. But it’s the quick ones that you have to keep an eye on; these people know how the system should work and some know how to manipulate it as soon as someone has made a mistake.

Snowmobile Park

Snow has hit our hidden town and I’ve been called in to open up the shop. I’ve had a phone call from one boss saying that she can’t get there and that I should go in her place and set up a command centre to see whether we can trade or not and rely a message to the rest of the staff. I then get in touch with the original colleague who she was supposed to be working with to affirm that I’ll be arriving on foot in her place and that I’m on my way. There’s not a car in sight, but there is a shopping trolley that someone could convert into a snowmobile. People are asking me if they should come in. I have to explain that if it’s safe for them to make an attempt to come into work then they should do so; but I’m not going to force them into coming in and be responsible for any accidents. Eventually a small team arrives and we open up. I then have to decide how long are we going to be open for and how long can we hold out.

Mr. Bucket

The idea of this simple children’s game is very entertaining. It’s a bucket that spits out coloured balls and your job is to scoop up your chosen coloured balls with your shovel and be the first to get all your balls back inside the bucket. The only trouble is that the thing fires them out fast indeed; so much so that’s it’s to the point of exhaustion. To make things more interesting, there’s even hands which wave back and forth across the lip which blocks your way; forcing you to chase your ball across the floor again. It’s also quite frustrating to put the thing together. It took me a fair while to get the nose clipped in correctly; and  I wasn’t sure whether the hands were properly attached or not either. There were also stickers to add which was frustrating as it’s always awkward to get them lined up in exactly the right places. But we turned it on and I’m not entirely ensure whether it’s supposed to travel backwards; but logically it makes sense as otherwise the balls would never come out. And the kids love it.

The Chain Joke

It’s nice to receive a chain joke, but often it’s a bit of a shame when people decide to kill it. I can see why though; people want to get on with other things in their lives. It’s nice that they’ve thought of you; so long as it’s from the actual person and not from a bot. Occasionally you’ll get the odd one that you just don’t understand at all, and you’ll choose to bin it immediately rather than read it or at least the first few seconds. Or you might forward it onto someone, and they might be grateful to receive it; but after that it’s a toss of the coin as to whether they send it on as well. You can ask them if they got it the next time you see them in person, and it might make a little conversation opener. It may also cause you a bit of embarrassment if you haven’t actually read it.

The Get It Man

I seem to be a man who can get things lately. It’s a bit odd as we’re not in a prison yet I now know how Morgan Freeman felt when he acquired certain items in exchange for packets of cigarettes. There’s just two downsides; I’m making very little money from it and the other major thing that it’s costing me is time. I don’t mind collecting items when I’m on site anyway but to ask me to be in at a certain time to organise a collection when I’m due to be at home is just downright inconsiderate; especially if there’s no bonus for me. Another area where it gets complicated is when I must fund the purchase in advance; source the item and wait months later for the final payment. Even when I get small items, I still have to have them hanging around for a collection that would suit them. It’s time for others to be a bit more independent. Either that or I’m going to have to ask more things of them…

The Richards Review

It’s been a hard year for the Richards clan but we’re making it through. There’s the grandmother who’s battling hard to stay positive in readiness for her first Christmas without her loved one. There’s the youngest gorgeous granddaughter who’s just beginning to talk and pulls a cheeky grin every time she’s put in front of a camera. There’s the hard-working Dad who’s celebrating his first Christmas with his newly married wife. There’s the new daughter-in-law who’s suffered a year of ups and downs with both positives and negatives and is always trying to make the best out of everything. There’s a second older granddaughter who’s been through her own medical trauma and is healing up fine and is doing her upmost to hold up as much Christmas cheer as she possibly can. Finally, there’s the suffering son who must somehow hold it all together and keep going all the while trying to find his own path.

Follow Your Dreams

"Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs." -Farrah Gray

The problem with today’s world is that we always want the easy option. Everyone always wants things done for them and they’re not prepared to put the effort in. But if you don’t put the effort in, then there’s little in life that you can control, and you’ll end up being ruled over by everyone else’s decisions. You’ll end up in a job doing a task that someone dictates to you which makes you feel small and you’ll struggle to feel valued while contributing to someone else’s plan. It’s not slavery, but you don’t get to choose how you earn your living either. The worst part then is that you’ll feel bogged down competing all the other tasks and you’ll run out of time to complete the ones that you’ll find the most fulfilling. And if you don’t show enthusiasm while you’re in your current job, it makes it all the more easier for them to throw you on the scrap heap.

Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

It’s dance time! Why do girls have to get so frisky on the dance floor, yet when you dare to approach them anywhere else you’re likely to get doused with pepper spray? They dance and prance while boys stop and stare but why is it always on the boys to make the first move when it comes to relationships? You’ve then got the problem of when to make your move. Do you spring onto the dance floor and join in with them? You then run the risk of being the party pooper of their evening. Do you gather them up when they’ve moved over for a drink? Or do you single out the one you fancy and wait until she’s on her own? And then after any of these attempts, there’s no guarantee that these actions will grant you sanctuary anyway. And if the girl does the first move, it’s she who is the desperate one.

The Cowardly Cow

Have you ever seen a cowardly cow? As far as my memory serves, they only exist in adult cartoons with gay pictorial characters. But in real life, they have very little to fear. You may see the odd calf get up and walk away when you enter a field, but in general they’re bigger than us and have very little predators in the wild. It’s only when we domesticate them and trick them into entering the abattoir that man becomes its dominant hunter. They may be afraid of machinery such as tractors or even cars and learn to keep away from them as they don’t like the noise. And in other environments they may be hunted down by wolves and bears in desperation. But in general, most species value the cow because its milk has so many uses. A cow that runs away from you is a rare one indeed.

Tree Blockers

What are these things that enforce us to dress up on the shortest day of the year? It’s only the start of the cold season, yet people will insist upon dragging us inside to be dressed up in all kinds of shiny things and fake lights (which we’re most grateful for) only to be thrown out a month later? It’s providing us with a real treat only to snatch the luxury away again when we need the most comfort. Perhaps it’s their way of providing for us; to prepare ourselves for those three months afterwards. We don’t know if we’re being punished for some unknown sin; though they do get frustrated when our pine needles are shed upon the inside ground. There’s also rather a lot of noise. Outside we’re used to the big metal boxes whizzing by but inside there’s a black window which makes all sorts of noises which really does get in the way of trying to sleep. No wonder we’re exhausted by the end of it all.

Redditch Spice Bazaar #dreamdiary70

I’ve got a job in my town’s newest food store in the shopping centre. Simply put, we just sell spices. The customer walks in to view a large glass counter with some scales at the end; while a big poster on the wall lists the various spices for sale. Behind the counter is a set of steps similar to an auditorium which are covered in green Velcro carpeting. On each step at three feet intervals lies some earthen pots with a large lid placed just behind each one. It’s my job to go up and scoop out each spice and bring it down to the scales. Occasionally I have to climb up the steps to the back and up a ladder to get to the store room, while underneath the steps lies our computer for accounting purposes, a kettle and fridge, some chairs and a door which grants access to the loading bay.

Here come the Girls

It’s become a tradition that we get together with family and friends in mid-December to get Christmas off to a flying start with a few drinks. It’s not too early to start celebrating and it’s not too late to interfere with people’s plans for the big day itself. Throw in the fact that the venue is right in the middle of the country and it should be accessible for everyone to pop in and say hello, even if it’s only for a quick drink and a mince pie. Party games are kept to a minimum song that each and every table must join in with their own chorus to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas. A fair bit of grub is laid on, though you need to be quick if you’re considering it as your lunch. There’s also balloons and a giant inflatable snowman to keep the youngsters happy, though we’ll probably need a bigger boat and more entertainment in the future.

Keep Refrigiated

What would you do if you only had a set of instructions in front of you? If you were told to keep a sandwich refrigerated; would you do it until the very end? Those with extensive housing might be lucky to have a whole cold room where you’d just need to wrap up in warm clothes before popping in to eat. The rest of us would need a fridge with a cat flap big enough to stick your head through, a special dining hat so that we won’t freeze in the winter and a brush to scrub out all the crumbs afterwards. It’ll also have to be dining solo, and there might be a rush for the kitchen just as there would be for the bathroom. And the worst of it that the bulb in the refrigerator will be used a hack of a lot more; so you’ll have to read up on your electrician skills too.

Eye Candy

She might look adorable, but this little girl is also quite tough. She’s had to undergo the removal of a kidney in a run-down hospital in the heart of the city centre. The operation went well, though she screamed the place down when she had an injection. Unfortunately, the nurses would only let her return home after she’d done a wee, which she struggled to do on that day and she had to stop an extra night. Once she returned home, she was quite tired and had to have a lot of rest; we went to join her for a pyjama day on the sofa watching films. She was very excited to see us, but we had to keep reminding her that she was supposed to be resting, which frustrated her a bit. But now she’s just running around as usual enjoying her childhood; though her childish tantrums are beginning to kick in.

Postal Weights

One of my latest charges as our society secretary is to see that our quarterly newsletter is sent out to our postal subscribers in a timely manner. Those who want it post out SAEs and it’s my job to put them in the post as soon as they’ve been published. For some reason, it’s also my duty to tell them when it’s time for them to send me more SAEs which made it complicated last year as we missed producing two issues. This edition is slightly heavier than usual as we’ve changed the paper quality and we’ve also added extra pages. I’m wondering if the envelopes still class as a standard letter. After having a fiddle with the kitchen scales and a debate on whether we’re getting a good deal on our sugar; I’ve decided that I’m going to have to bite the bullet and get them checked at the post office before sending them out.

Kane and Abel by Jeffrey Archer

Kane and Abel by Jeffrey Archer
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The novel starts with a contrast of two worlds; and it’s amazing at what odds Rosnovski had to deal with compared to the cushy life of Kane. I thought it was a shame that their ultimate downfall would be to attempt to destroy each other financially. There could have been more interest if they had met on the battlefield or at their child’s wedding, and it would have been more dramatic if the true circumstances of Rosnovski’s birth had come to light later on in the story. And the conclusion of the novel felt a bit sudden as the chapters were a lot shorter and not many events took place within them. The mystery of why Rosnovski’s benefactor chose to remain hidden is also a mystery and is perhaps unnecessarily out of character for Kane; who has remained stubborn for much of his life. But this still makes for a very interesting novel with lots of page-turning moments and momentous happenings, even without the involvement of fiscal events.

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The Black Tower

There’s an office tower near to the railway line just outside King’s Norton. It’s made of black glass and stretches up into the sky. Below it is an old factory made of brick with closed gates leading onto the railway track followed by an overspill car park for the current rail station. I wonder what ghastly deeds came out of this empire? Maybe the business has carried on in a faraway country; leaving the office behind to interact as a worldwide headquarters. The CEO must have a great view at the top; if only to show off to his subordinates while he’s teleconferencing. Yet down below, it’s pretty sparse. Perhaps there’s a white-collar worker inside wandering around the cubicles with a bottle of scotch surveying what was once his kingdom. Or maybe it’s a secret government bunker storing reserves of food or medicine in preparation for a Brexit crisis. Perhaps in the future years the tower could be used as an observation point for tourism? But most likely the whole thing will be torn down to make way for housing.

Mobile Mayhem

I’m getting a bit fed up of the company asking us to use our own property more and more. There’s always been a ban on mobile phones in the workplace and that we should keep them confined to the staff area and our lockers; but lately the company’s asked us to take advantage of the latest technologies by signing up to chat groups and networks on our own devices. It’s also frustrating that there’s no employee wi-fi; yet alone any for the customers to use their devices. And it’s not just our battery power that’s being used; it’s our data allowance as well. The other annoying thing is that we also receive updates when we’re outside of the workplace and we can’t always turn these off. So if they’re not going to improve their infrastructure or arm us with devices that allow us to do the job, then at least they should put an allowance towards the cost of us keeping our phones.

Destination: Housewife

Why would anyone want to choose to be a housewife?  You might be taken of and have all your worries catered for; but that’s only if you end up in the right situation. And that’s only if you’ve mastered the correct skills. You’ll need to be an expert in cooking, cleaning and caring for other individuals; and that’s only if they value you as a person. Add in the fact that you’re confined to cater to the same household day after day without any variant and you’ll find that your day can get quite dull quite quickly. You’ll also lose your independence and have very little say in how the household is run; let alone any future decisions. And the biggest risk of all is trusting one person to make your decisions for you. To many it might seem like an easy way out, but to me that sounds like a life of slavery.

Work Deboxed

It’s annoying when you’re trying to get things done when you know that the person who’s responsible for the process before you hasn’t played their part. It might be a broken item that’s been allowed to slip through or a manufacturing process that hasn’t been completed; or even an item that’s gone missing in transit. The trouble is that because you’re so near the product’s end journey is that you’re the link between the customer and the item. This means that you end up chasing manufacturers and despatch centres to correct their error, all the while trying to explain to your customers how the fault occurred and what you are doing to rectify it. In the meantime, you’ve got to find a solution to please the customer who magically expects their item to be there in perfect condition. And it’s not always possible to get a fast resolution, if one at all.  

Cracks in the System

You’d think that if you order something fragile through a mail order company that they’d have the sense to pack it correctly so that it wouldn’t break. This wasn’t the case with ransomware. The item arrived on the last possible day that it was due, and when I opened it my cereal bowl was cracked into three pieces. What was the clincher was that they’d used a pre-inflated plastic bag on one side of the box, but not on the other. I had to take pictures to e-mail them to the seller, who had to source another bowl for dispatch. After a working week nothing had arrived so I contacted the seller and was told that I had to wait another week simply because they wouldn’t pay for a faster method of shipping. What was annoying is that I saw a bowl and spoon as a set in a shop at a cheaper price; but I couldn’t buy it at the time as the person I was purchasing the items for was in my presence.

Something doesn't Add Up

It’s strange when you find it hard to climb the ranks. You apply for training courses then find that you’re not accepted while others that you have trained race ahead of you. You ask for extra training to learn new skills which somehow aren’t delivered to you. The people that recognise you for the hard job that you’ve been doing suddenly turn their back on you when you decide that you want a different position. Here’s why: people don’t like change. So when you’re doing a good job they don’t want to go to the effort of replacing you. But at the same time they don’t want to go to the effort of improving you for fear of you bettering them; yet they refuse to accept help from yourself when you’re trying to do the same to them.  And when they promote others that you’ve helped to train, it really puts the sting in things.

Proving them Wrong

"If you hear a voice within you say, 'You cannot paint,' then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” -Vincent Van Gogh

I once stopped over at a friend of a friend’s house. We’d just finished a camping trip and on the last night we both got invited over for drinks. Among the many weird and wonderful conversations that we had; one of them got me talking to him about my future. And of course, the ultimate question that he asked is what I want to do in my life. Inevitably we got into an argument that I’d never amount to anything if I continued to pursue my current career path. We didn’t exactly figure out a strategy, but deep down I think he was trying to use reverse psychology to get me to prove him wrong. Unfortunately, it hasn’t happened yet, but I like to think that I will. I’ve just got to get on with it so that I can go back to him and rub my success in his face.  

Trenches

Once we’d sorted out the customers and had enough staff to run the shop, the next stage was to prepare for the delivery that we’d had to cancel the night before. They don’t call them artic lorries for nothing. The driver had to wait a while but he was happy to take his break before we offloaded him. This gave us enough time to clear a path from his parking spot to the warehouse door. It took us about half an hour to get the job done, and we found that the ground thawed much quicker after we’d cleared the drains. After much digging and gritting we’d cleared a decent path and the friction of pushing the cages across the loading bay melted the rest. Then it was business as usual and the day got easier and easier as more staff were able to make the journey in. We even helped our neighbours out as they were able to use our parking space to unload their vehicle; though they still had to struggle with the ice leading up to their door.

A Room With A View #GC04

Lizzie climbed the wooden staircase and unlocked the door. It was a large wooden one with traditional bolts and a giant keyhole to match. The key itself would take up half her pocket and the door had a good half inch gap between its base and the floor. As she entered, she inhaled a stale smell of old wooden furniture and musty books. She wondered who the previous occupant was. Outside she could hear a lot of banging on the wooden staircase; evidently Reuben had decided to drag both her bags up in one go rather than risk two trips. Still, at least it was early evening so she wouldn’t have to wake any of her new neighbours up; and maybe there might be a nosy parker willing to lend a hand and an opportunity to make a new friend at the same time. She flicked on a light switch but nothing happened; it looked like the previous occupant had took the bulb with them.

Donuts

I’d got called into work to cover a manager who couldn’t get there. He was sending regular traffic updates and videos showing whereabouts he was and the traffic moving in front of him. I’d texted the other colleague and gave him an ETA who said that he was on his way and that his dad would give him a lift as he was looking forward to driving in the snow. Our local deliveries had been cancelled which meant that our early start was a bit fruitless once we’d prepared the store for trade. But while we were waiting for more staff to ring in to try and find out whether we’d open the shop or not; another gentleman decided to drive into the car park to do some donuts in the snow. He spun around three times and we secretly hoped that we would crash into a lamppost but there was no such luck. Eventually he saw us watching him and decided to speed off.

Animal Club #dreamdiary69

It’s a hot and sunny afternoon and I’m queuing to get into a nightclub that has a good reputation for drinks and an excellent outdoor beer garden. It’s in the bottom middle row of a two-storey glass complex where each unit has glass windows and has a concave glass design with a staircase either side while the rest of the structure is made of pale brick. Even though it’s only 4pm, there’s a bouncer present in a round beige suit. There’s five of us in our group and as we pass through the entrance, I’m told that the only reason that we’re being let in is that there’s an Italian in our group. As we walk through, I wonder which of us he assumes to be an Italian. We pass through a series of booths and head straight for the outside beer garden where several sofas are laid out attractively in a concave shape. We’re shown to a seating area and we’re presented with a drinks menu. As I browse the menu I look around and happen to catch a glance at the being on the next table. It’s a six-foot man in a blue suit with a squirrel for a head.

Snow Angel

I don’t think I’ve ever had the courage to lie down in the snow and make a snow angel. For one thing, I’d get absolutely soaked unless I’ve got a really good waterproof hood or hat that covers the back of my head. The snow would also have to be quite deep so that there’s no risk of injury or debris or yellow snow hidden within. Good gloves and boots are also essential, and the snow would have to be quite soft for ease of movement. You also need to take care that you don’t emphasise your arm and leg movements too much to ruin your outline. The next problem is how to get up without ruining your shape. The easiest way is to have a friend to pull you up, and if you’re unfortunate enough not to have one then there’s no fun in you making a snow angel in the first place.

Computers don't Care

It’s official – computers don’t care; or at least the latest version of Microsoft Word doesn’t. I’ve just the phrase ‘take care’ in a comprehensive sentence and the spellchecker identified the word ‘care’ as a mistake. And not just as a grammar error or to clarify the sentence; but as a genuine spelling error. Put simply, ‘care’ is not in the computer’s dictionary. And there’s no alternatives or suggestions either. I’ve since used the word in a different document and it worked fine; it must have been how the document was set up when I typed over a previous sentence. But if computers don’t care then how are we to rely on them? If we ignore our alarm and turn it off, it the computer going to get us up out of bed in the morning? If we trust them to send e-mails then how do we know that they’ve actually sent it until the person receiving the e-mail complains that they haven’t received it? It just goes to show that you can’t trust a computer.

Optical Antlers

Reindeer specs are a great idea. I once owned a see-through glitter pair with a Rudolph above each frame. They were in high demand and were borrowed often by other people for parties. The last time I saw them was when I put them in a cage for safekeeping; little forgetting that I had to load the same cage onto a trolley within the next half hour. I only realised my mistake when I’d sealed the lorry up and I couldn’t be bothered to go through the hassle of unsealing the lorry and make the driver fish them out. I’d had a good three year run with them, and no doubt they’ve either been discarded or passed on by a warehouse worker as well. Unfortunately these antlers didn’t make me fly. I’m not entirely sure that these are antlers either. They’re more like wacky ‘W’s. Maybe they’re balloons which make the glasses fly off my face so that you can see the handsome me underneath.

Promoting Your Vote

I get a lot of e-mails from lots of different organisations. Some just want my money while others want to help me out. But what I really hate is them asking me to take action to benefit them just so that they can get an award. Sure, their competitors are probably doing the same, but how do you know which is really the best? Are we suddenly expected to switch to our competitors to try out their products to create an honest answer? Or do we just quickly answer yes to everything in the hope of being the first out of the hat in the prize draw? It’s a bit selfish, but if there’s a prize up for grabs then it’s anyone’s game. Bigger companies may even offer more incentives to encourage their customers to vote. It’s a shame that politicians don’t offer similar incentives when it comes to election time.

The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough

The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

This is a long novel stretched across the outback and beyond. There’s some great descriptions of the natural scenery and how life progresses into the twentieth century. I found the idea of Cleary life quite quaint because of the fact they’re millionaires that choose to be quite reclusive and hide themselves from the rest of the world on Drogheda. It must be quite a contempt life to do this rather than exert their influence upon the world. Paddy’s death was quite heart-breaking but most of the other female character seem set to outlive the sun itself. It’s a shame that McCullough didn’t reserve the identity of Dane’s father. I felt that this would have had a much more dramatic effect. I also found that Justine was the only humorous character in the whole novel; all the others seemed bland enough to stick to the tradition of going with the flow; with the exception of the inner yearnings of Mary Carson whose values seem to be inherited by Justine.

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America's Worst Driver

This is a non-stop show where nothing is paced and there’s a dramatic moment at every second which is over-emphasised by the show’s sound effects. It’s great to see the drivers out on real roads; though you have to measure the realness of the show when you ask them to parallel park between two parked cars. There’s also no sense of contestants learning from their trials or evidence of them trying to improve; it’s simply an idiom of watching bad drivers knowing that they will crash. It’s weird that the people who nominate the contestants suddenly decide that they want to help them; though the motivator of winning a holiday might have something to do with it. The contestants had some real character, but the presenters just seemed too fake and strict and didn’t really offer an opinion. But then again, they have to be if they get to wreck one of their contestants’ car at the end of each episode.

Elfing Around

It’s hard work being an elf. You’d think that it would all be sitting at a conveyor all day hammering away at wooden toys; but the reality is that Santa has given up on today’s society and very few children make it to the Nice List. To be honest, it’s probably just the Elf’s children themselves. This means that there’s a problem at Santa’s Workshop as the lack of labour creates job shortage for future elves. Santa has to be very careful as to allow who can co-habit with whom to ensure that the population of the North Pole is kept in check. Banishment is no longer an option as refugees would pledge their tales to the outside world. So the only other option is execution in Santa’s dictator’s state. And the elves that are allowed to exist do so in the knowledge that if they go against the rules, their service will no longer be required.

The Bargain Hunter

A cautious lady, she’ll come in to browse and sniff the bargains out. Like a ferret, she browses the catalogue unsure of whether to part with her cash or not. Each item has to be absolutely perfect, so she has to look at every single aspect of it first, and this will follow with a million questions that we have no idea how to answer. We then take the trouble to get the item out of the box and break the seal so that she can view it in its entirety. After that she’ll disappear to do some comparisons and work out where she can get it for the cheapest possible price. When she does put her cash out to buy it, she’ll want to be absolutely sure that it’s what she wants. And if one thing isn’t to her liking, the whole thing will come back used and in bits and she’ll expecting a full refund.

Post Party Breakfast

After drinks I’d planned to call a taxi back and sit up late into the night with my boss for a nightcap. I’d even got some Christmas ales planned. Instead a colleague offered to drop us off and he wanted to turn straight into bed. After a cup of tea, I’d left him a bottle of water for the night and turned in myself. When morning came, I got myself a morning cuppa and a quick shower then settled down to watch Game of Thrones to await his awakening. I discussed breakfast options and we decided that the Pitcher Oak Golf Course would be the most favourable. We settled into a par 4 breakfast with mushrooms and par 5 breakfast respectively; which amazingly he couldn’t finish. He did enjoy the atmosphere and the fact that he could watch the live cricket on the café’s TV while checking his e-mail on the café’s wi-fi at the same time.

Do Blind People Turn on Lights in their House?

Your first thought would be that it would be a waste of money. You might have no idea as to how long you’ve left your lights on for. It’s kind of like outdoor Christmas lights as you’re not unlikely to spend hours sitting outside the house watching them. But it also makes you wonder how many blind people live on their own. It’d be nice to think that these people would have someone to look after them or keep an eye out for them by living in the same house. Some might find the warmth of the light comforting; especially if they were only partially blind and may be able to see something. Also, it would be common sense for a blind person to turn a light on if they were going out for the evening just as if any other person would, to give the impression to potential intruders that someone was home. They might even do this regardless, just so they wouldn’t get the bother of potential intruders coming up the driveway.

Party Champion

We arrive at our venue and we’re shown to our table but the first thing that the boss decides is that the area isn’t set up to his liking. We’re all split up into smaller tables and people have their backs to each other so that not everyone can see one another. Like a military sergeant, he begins barking order and soon enough we have one large square. Two other problems then become apparent. The new seating arrangements encompass some booth seating which makes it hard for people to access; especially the waiters. The second problem is that there aren’t enough seats for everyone. Also, our party organiser isn’t feeling very well, so it’s down to me to ensure that everything happens. When our complimentary prosecco doesn’t appear, it’s up to me to make it materialise which arrives during the main course rather than on arrival as planned. It’s not my role to do this; though it falls on me to make it happen.

Double Your Memory

A while ago, I discovered that I had two of the same camera. Rather than send it back, I decided to give it away to a family member which meant equipping the second one with a memory card. It took a while to find the right card as I was under the impression that this camera took an old-style XD card. I ordered one off e-Bay but it had to come from China. When it arrived, I opened the camera to pop it in and I found that I’d already managed to put a standard SD card into the slot. I got onto the seller and asked about the returns procedure, who said that I could get a full refund so long as I send the thing back to China. This in itself would cost more money that it was worth, and I wonder if the seller made any money off the transaction as well.

Out with Da Boss

It’s Christmas time and more importantly it’s the office Christmas party! Oddly, my boss has decided that he’s spending the night at my house so that he can roll into work the following morning. And because he’s on shift the day before; the plan was to leave the car at my house then get stuck into a few pre-meal pints at the local Wetherspoons before heading on down to the restaurant. Unfortunately, he got stuck at the shop so I had to wait around a while before I could meet up at the bar with my fellow co-workers. We managed to get through three pints in about an hour before deciding how to get there. Some folks managed to grab a lift but we decided to walk it and get some air along the way, allowing those who were in posher clobber than us to keep dry. It only took twenty minutes and we gave him a very brief tour along the way.

I've got the Power

Smartphones use a ton of energy these days, especially when it’s a phone that’s been active for more than a year. And because we’re on the go so much nowadays, we’re on our phones all the time trying to organise everything while we’re out and about. So for Christmas this year I’ve decided to get my brother a powerbank to keep his mobile phone charged while he’s out and about. Hopefully he’ll be able to stay in touch with the rest of the family while at work. I’ve got him a branded one rather than the cheap metallic thing I got off e-Bay which I have to wonder how much charge it actually gives. The grip surrounding the charging socket is soft so there’s less chance of scratching the actual item; although it’s still likely to be buried somewhere within the depths of my brother’s van. Hopefully it’ll give him some incentive to clean it more.

Mustachio Me

I once entered into a pact with a friend at work to let our facial hair grow for thirty days. We decided to do this in Movember to raise money for a cancer awareness charity. Every week I had to publish a selfie on social media to show my progress and encourage friends and family to make donations. Amazingly, I managed to raise £25, which is more than my colleague raised who was the protagonist in this venture. At the end of the month, I published a final photo with a poll to let people decide whether I should keep the ‘tach or not. The consensus was that the moustache itself should go but I should leave a bit of stubble on the beard. I managed to keep this up until it got too embarrassingly messy to trim, and got rid of the whole thing in time for Christmas. I still like to keep a bit of stubble, but usually it’s because I don’t take time to touch it up properly.

Winter Theatre #dreamdiary 68

I’ve returned to college to visit some friends. I’m being put up at a friend’s house who now lives there permanently. The only trouble is that I don’t know where he lives and I don’t have his number; we’ve only managed to keep in touch through Facebook which has managed to become suspended through a lack of power on my phone. So I’ve taken to wandering through the backstreets of a new residential part of town where I think I might be living. There’s no sign of him, but I do bump into another friend who has no idea that I’m visiting but agrees to put me up for the evening while my phone makes a recovery. As I bring my things inside, I begin to sing an old number from one of our old productions. My friend overhears me and joins in from the other side of the road; giving his neighbours a winter performance in the middle of the street.

Turkey in your Face

All I want for Christmas is a real turkey dinner that’s fresh with all the trimmings. But that’s hard to find nowadays. Last year we went to my Sister-In-Laws and there were fourteen of us all in one room. She’d cooked the meal the night before and her plan was to let everyone help themselves then your dinner would be warmed up in the microwave once one became available. We didn’t quite get why every other family was bringing a microwave into the kitchen until it was dinner time, and it didn’t quite feel the same. We ate some of the leftovers the day after, but I think some of the food wasn’t stored properly and I was unwell the following day. This year looks to be the same way only with the addition of two little ones. It’s going to be crawling with kids crying and running around demanding attention with lots of chaos and very little room for sitting and relaxing.

Somebody Stop Me!

"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

What can stop you when you really want to get something done? Well, anything really. People can stop you when you have a simple idea and you just want to carry it out by getting involved and doing it their way. There are obstacles to charge through and fences to dodge; and if you get caught up in just one of them then it’s going to be a real struggle to get yourself back on track; especially if you’ve exhausted yourself from jumping through the hoops of other people. It’s not that people don’t necessarily want to stop you; they just rely more on you than you on them which makes it difficult for you to focus on your goals and make progress. If you really want something done, you really have to do it yourself and isolate yourself from the world around you, and recognise that you have to teach them how to help you.

Too early for a Tree?

This year we bought a new Christmas Tree in the Black Friday sale. We bought it with some loyalty vouchers together with our weekly grocery shop. One evening I got home from the pub and thought; I’d better make sure that it all fits together otherwise if we need to take it back to replace it they may have sold out. And so in late November, construction began. It took a while as I had to smooth out all the branches and work out which clump fitted into where. When it was done I decided to leave it up to show Mum that it was OK before putting it back in its box. She was quite proud when she saw it built up in the dining room, but rather than asking me to take it back down again she went one step further and began the decorating. It was kind of like having Christmas in July.

Ill Woes

I haven’t been feeling too well for a while now. I had a bit of a chesty cough which I took for a winter cold. It went away but a few weeks later I began to feel stomach cramps. I also had problems processing food as normal. It started to come out extra watery and smelly, and I can’t seem to process meat at all. At times I feel nauseous; especially after mealtimes. I also haven’t been having a large appetite as usual lately. Amazingly, I managed to get an appointment to see a doctor quite quickly, though there’s little sign of a diagnosis other than to provide a sample. This is getting difficult to provide since I can’t create anything solid. I’ve also been asked to stay away from meats and spicy foods and stick to bread and biscuits. I’m no longer in pain or have a churning stomach, but I’m also not feeling like I’m returning to normal.  

Advent Awesomeness

I decided to treat Mum to an Advent calendar this year. It had been a difficult one, so I bought one of the expensive upmarket calendars as a treat with posh chocolates. I also decided to treat myself to a photo fun one where you could take a different selfie every day with a photo filter in the background. There’ll be a chocolate on your head or a pair or reindeer ears, and sometimes the picture would be aminated so that the chocolate would drip down the screen. It’s a bit annoying as you need to download the app first then wave your phone in front of the calendar to activate the image. You then have to try and upload the photo to social media for everyone to see. It turns out that she bought one for me as well, so we’ve now got three in the house. Still, it comes in handy when the girls come round to visit so that they can open up a door too.

The robots are on the Phones

The timewasters have got another weapon on their hands. Just when you think you’ve got some great response to the spam callers asking for your details, they go one step further and bring their robots into the game. They’re polite robots and they even say pardon, but if you listen carefully you can hear their pre-recorded voice. They also rush through the script a little bit to make them sound more human, but the most obvious giveaway is when they give a response which isn’t in sync with your reaction. Not everyone can tell the difference, but there is a thing of beauty in this. You can swear at the phone as much as you bloody well like, and you know you’re not offending anybody because Mrs. Robot doesn’t care. You might even play with them to see how long you can get them to stay on the line for. But then again, it’s still a waste of your time.

Hydes First Frost at the Rising Sun, Redditch

You know it’s the first sign open the curtains to see frost on the rooftops of the houses opposite you. Actually, I have blinds and for some reason I walk into the bedroom opposite and open those curtains to see how frosty it is outside. It’s mainly because the car’s kept on that side of the house so I can get an idea if I must force myself to go a bit faster that morning as I need to allow time to de-ice the windscreen. If the weather’s gotten worse, I can make a quick assessment of the roads before deciding whether to drive out. Nowadays, I keep my car in the garage if I remember. It’s so snug to drive out with a clear windscreen while all the neighbours scrape, spray and pour away. The only disadvantage is having to put the car in and out as it uses more fuel each time.

From School to Shops #dreamdiary67

I’m at a new school and I’ve just arrived at my registration class. It’s time to go assembly but my form tutor still hasn’t arrived. As class team leader I feel that I should lead the way but there’s no register to take and I don’t know the way to the assembly hall. I decide to scout out which way to go and leave my class behind on their own. With any luck, the form tutor will have arrived by the time I get back.  I walk out into the corridor and find myself in an upmarket shopping centre with exposed tiled brick on the walls and archways decorated with marble columns. I follow some steps outside the shopping centre and decide to go in through the main entrance to look for a floor guide. I head towards a roadside roundabout with a McDonalds on the opposite side and enter an underpass system.

Delivering the Deal

It’s just crazy where our stuff comes from lately. It might only be manufactured in the next town, but to get it to your local shop it must be delivered from much further afield to a distribution centre before it can be sent to the shelves. That’s because every little process has been farmed out to another company to look after; which in theory bumps up the price and makes each item that little more expensive. Then the distribution company comes along which arranges a bulk discount which it keeps for itself. It saves the factories from having to arrange shipping for its customers and allows them to reach a wider range of customers. But this mass shipping often means that items are mixed together for the deliveries; making items more likely to be damaged along the way. The distributor then simply asks for the stock to be replaced; which simply generates more items of less value.

What will be some First World Problems in 2050?

Who can predict what happens in thirty years’ time? Will there be a population crisis as healthcare improves and people start to live longer? Will our streets be overcrowded with food rioters willing to start World War Three just to get fed? Perhaps the traditional First World will get broken down as countries have to use their military might to secure resources from other parts of the world and others undergo a change of occupancy. Climate is also a factor as the earth continues to get warmer. Will there be weather wars for territories that experience fewer natural disasters? Will some countries leave the first world after exporting all their businesses to other countries? And will other countries enter it after amassing a wealth of resources? Will we have to change the definition of a First World because we will all be too busy immigrating from country to country? Or will the robots make all the decisions for us?

Time to Jump Ship

I’ve been invited to attend a training course which focuses on management skills and developing your confidence. I had to travel to Worcester to make a ten-minute presentation to a tutor that I’d only written a couple of hours before. Then it was a quick dash to make sure I’d get there in time. Unfortunately, there was a side plot asking me to attend an hour earlier but I was still devising my presentation at the time so I decided to ignore the message. A faux pas maybe? But I did manage to arrive a good fifteen minutes earlier, and spent the next hour talking to my tutor about my daily work life and how I thought I could benefit from his course. But it was not to be. I was told that he didn’t feel confident enough for me to complete the course. So if they decide not to show an interest in me, why should I continue to show an interest in them?

Best Laid Plans

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant." -Robert Louis Stevenson

You may not get your reward instantly, but you must set the wheels in motion. That’s why some tasks are just too difficult for some people to complete as the rewards won’t be received for many years to come. It’s what hard work is all about. These days though, people want instant results. They want their rewards now and don’t like to wait. Either that or they’re very forgetful. But you also must bear in mind that some seeds won’t sprout, and you must be prepared for that too. So, a detailed plan is required from the very beginning, even before you lay your first seed. If you don’t anticipate what you need to become successful, then you’re going to need a lot of luck on your side. A successful day is a planned day rather than a day that you receive everything. Unless you’re really, really lucky.

The Wish List by Eoin Colfer

The Wish List by Eoin Colfer
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This short story about life and death is kind of a teen to adult level of Harry Potter without all the wizards and magic and stuff. There’s a great sense of realism with an expectant imagination as the characters try to re-interact with everyday life. There are also some great ideas of how the afterlife works; though I doubt very much that the custodians of each realm interact with other on a regular basis. It’s a shame that Coin didn’t give greater focus to the demons and mites and give them greater roles as antagonists, or least have a bit more interaction with the protagonists along the way. And I thought that Meg could have done with a bit more of an introduction. But what the book does teach is forgiveness while at the same time offers a sense of justice, together with a side dose of last regrets, hopes and dreams. There also some great use of puns. Not many books can do that.

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Our Survey Says...

I’m recently getting a lot of e-mails asking me to do surveys. Specifically, they’re for things that I haven’t done yet. Although I’ve shown interest in their product and have made a reservation to purchase their product or service, I haven’t physically gone through and shown them the money. Next thing you know, I get an e-mail asking me for an opinion of their service. So, because I haven’t used it, I decide to give the worst answers possible to really make them think what they’re doing; unless of course there’s an instant material gain from completing the survey. If that’s the case, I complete it to the best of my ability to gain the prize. But more and more companies are being careless in what they’re sending out. They’re reaching out to everyone rather than just the odd individual. And that makes it even more fun for us to take advantage of them.

Safety Woes

We’ve been given a new task at work from the people up high. Because one idiot has had an accident, we’re not allowed to store anything taller than four feet on the bottom shelf of our first-floor mezzanine. We have racking that goes through the floor from the floor below, and we have floorboards which acts as our ground, but the racking alongside it is just normal shelving. And just because one person has stepped fully inside to get an item, he got injured and the rest of us must change our whole floor accordingly. What a waste of time. We don’t train people to climb the racking, so why can’t we just train people not to step inside the racking? That would save a whole lot of bother. But the company has decided that they don’t trust us to do this, so we must do this right in the middle of our large delivery period when space is at its tightest.

A New Pet #dreamdiary66

I’ve got a new pet! I’m not exactly sure what it is, but I keep it in the garage. It’s kind of like a bald biped dog with a big head, large eyes, and wears a suit. It can stand on two legs, but when it goes outdoors it prefers to crawl on its hand and knees. It’s a spitting image of the tenth Doctor when the master ages him using his laser screwdriver. There’s no cage. Instead there’s a wicker basket and some blankets on the ground. I ask my brother to keep an eye on it while I’m away. Naturally, he wants to know what it is and what to do. All that’s required is to check that he’s back home after dark and that the garage door is locked and throw him the odd treat. Then in the morning all he needs to do is to let it out for the day and it’ll go out and fend for itself.

Marvellous Millie

Millie is an amazing and beautiful little girl. Aside from being cuddly and cute and three years old, she also had to undergo an operation to widen of the valves to her heart. She only went for a scan at the hospital and the news came back later in the day that she had to be taken in for her operation three days later. Of course, we were all worried sick while she was under the knife; but Millie was too young to understand what was going to happen. And after the operation she woke up a little tired but was still happy enough to sit up and eat some breakfast. She was even quite proud of her battle wounds which will probably heal up in next to no time. It just goes to show how tough you can be when you’re three and you’ve got to look up to a big sister.

Spelling

Spelling doesn’t seem important in today’s modern world. When you’re writing something, you can just press a button and allow the computer to do all the work for you. Yet it’s amazing to see how many people publish their documents without taking the time to do this. So many memos have gone out with the omittance of simple words that take their instructions into doubt merely because the author hasn’t taken the effort to check their work. But even when the check’s done, there’s always a word that the computer reads as legible but makes no common sense within the context of the document. It only takes a quick check to realise that you’ve written something incomprehensible by reading it through afterwards. And it really annoys that these people have the power to dictate what we should do yet they haven’t taken the time or detail to complete the task themselves.

Blue Bell Brew House Trident at the Blue Bell Cider House, Warings Green

I was a bit disappointed with this venue. I’d pictured it to be an old converted country cottage. Instead we drew up at this great bricked up building alongside a country road. Inside, the front room had been done out like a large working men’s social club with rows of tables and chairs. A long bar led up the side, while at the back was one man struggling to serve the whole bar. I was also hoping for a bigger range of beers but I could only see three available. Towards the back was more traditional. A large room opened out and served as a gateway between the kitchen, conveniences and a door to an outside patio garden which ran alongside the canal. Of course, a November evening wouldn’t be the best time of year to appreciate this facility and perhaps another visit in the warmer months might do the pub some justice.