I’m wandering around holding a knife. It’s a clean blade but it’s in full view. I’m wearing shorts so I haven’t really got anywhere to stash it. I’m trying to discreetly get rid of it but there’s people everywhere I go. There’s red, green and yellow bins everywhere but they’re all completely full. I’m approaching a multi-storey car park and there’s people standing in front of the doors. It’s too crowded to run without injuring anybody. All I have to do is raise my arm and they quickly part to let me through. I wonder if I’m being tracked on camera. All I want to do is get back on the train to rejoin my family. My head seems to be getting cold. The next thing I know, I’m completely bald and I’m holding a whole head of hair in one hand. Have I managed to butcher myself and cut it all off?
Adventures of Mr. Paul
Musings and misadventures of a wannabe writer...
Sunday, 2 August 2026
Friday, 31 July 2026
Another major football body questions Infantino's leadership as pressure grows on FIFA boss
The man’s done something wrong. It’s offended a lot of people. It’s hard to be so neutral about the position when you look at ticket prices charged for the previous world cup. And it’s hard to see what else they do. It’s not as if they’re touring the world to play football in villages leaving merchandise behind and encouraging them to buy tickets for the next match. I could understand it if they would use the money to lower ticket prices but they haven’t stated openly what they would do with this extra investment apart from give it to the teams who take part. Instead, they just want to sell off their matches to companies who would charge people to view them. It could be a good deal for venues who could take out subscriptions just to show them to bring more people in; but that’s only if they’re not reaching capacity already.
Wednesday, 29 July 2026
Grocery Store
I spend a lot of time in grocery stores. You don’t tend to notice many conversations between people as they go about in their groups. They spend more time focusing on what’s in front of them; what’s on offer and what’s the most efficient purchase for them. Occasionally, they’ll remind each other of events coming up and whether or not they should purchase that particular item. Mothers might get stressed trying to keep their children in check. Others may make remarks about their fellow shoppers; their attitude and their attire. You might see some groups interact with each other if they bump into another party that they recognise; especially if they haven’t seen each other in a while, but even then it’s for a short period as they recognise that they want to finish the task at hand. You’ll see squabble and hesitations over the most minutest of decisions. After all, you’re not going to be able to return most of this stuff.
Tuesday, 28 July 2026
Around the back #sambourne 8
Heading east, we crossed the ford via the footbridge, then
as it met the road we turned left to head north and follow the footpath on the
other side. This footpath followed a wood on our left and over a stile into a
field beyond. On our left was the back of the manor. There was a stile to
access it via a footbridge, but this would put us back onto the property. I’m
sure that’s someone walking the grounds like a tourist, but the property should
have been closed. Maybe it was a ghost. It might have been a statue and it does
look like it’s on a pedestal, but surely if it was it would be positioned directly
in front of the entrance. Maybe it’s a dummy to deter passers by. It’s placed at
just the right distance that you can’t make out if it’s real or not. It might even
be a wooden mop with clothes on.
Monday, 27 July 2026
Revenge of the Postie
He’s a jolly old fellow. He’s got black hair that’s tall enough to be a mop, and it turns to a grey whisp towards his sideburns. There’s big chubby cheeks which surround a large, classic moustache below wide glasses and a beard to match. He always wears shorts, even in the winter, on top of big thick socks and boots. He’s a big man with a big belly and makes the vehicle shakes when he climbs in. He’s happy to help shift big items to prove that he’s still got the stamina, but when it comes to paperwork, it’s not his strong point. He can be a bit late and lazy at times, and his personal hygiene isn’t the best but he does own up to his mistakes and admits his ignorance. He likes to drive at speed and get the job done quickly, but sometimes his eagerness makes him leave things behind.
Sunday, 26 July 2026
The Crossing #sambourne 7
Saturday, 25 July 2026
"Your smile will give a positive countenance that will make people feel comfortable around you."
-Les Brown.
Even if you don’t want to smile and end up putting on a fake
grin like a maniac, people will be more willing to approach you. They’ll be inclined
to smile back and trust you, and you’ll feel that things will go easier as well.
It’s infectious, and it’s an essential skill of customer service. You have to
do it even if you feel like something’s going to be long and complicated and they’re
going to straight up miserable at you. You might be able to reverse their
thinking by giving them a positive experience, so long as you can react with
sympathy to any bad news that they care to impart. Be careful if you’ve got bad
breath or wonky teeth though, unless you want to scare them away. Sometimes it’s
the eye contact that has it. And sometimes you just want them to leave you
alone and approach someone else.
