Revenge of the Postie

He’s a jolly old fellow. He’s got black hair that’s tall enough to  be a mop, and it turns to a grey whisp towards his sideburns. There’s big chubby cheeks which surround a large, classic moustache below wide glasses and a beard to match. He always wears shorts, even in the winter, on top of big thick socks and boots. He’s a big man with a big belly and makes the vehicle shakes when he climbs in. He’s happy to help shift big items to prove that he’s still got the stamina, but when it comes to paperwork, it’s not his strong point. He can be a bit late and lazy at times, and his personal hygiene isn’t the best but he does own up to his mistakes and admits his ignorance. He likes to drive at speed and get the job done quickly, but sometimes his eagerness makes him leave things behind.

"Your smile will give a positive countenance that will make people feel comfortable around you."

-Les Brown.

Even if you don’t want to smile and end up putting on a fake grin like a maniac, people will be more willing to approach you. They’ll be inclined to smile back and trust you, and you’ll feel that things will go easier as well. It’s infectious, and it’s an essential skill of customer service. You have to do it even if you feel like something’s going to be long and complicated and they’re going to straight up miserable at you. You might be able to reverse their thinking by giving them a positive experience, so long as you can react with sympathy to any bad news that they care to impart. Be careful if you’ve got bad breath or wonky teeth though, unless you want to scare them away. Sometimes it’s the eye contact that has it. And sometimes you just want them to leave you alone and approach someone else.

The Search #vampress 27

These people would still need to be the crème of the crop to represent her. They may be more difficult to control, but would show how much power she would yield. She would have to attract them with money at first to encourage them to leave their home. Perhaps she could invent a situation to encourage a junior eager to make his mark upon the world to come and visit. Someone who could get her affairs in order in the legal way, making sure that her property was protected and within the confines of the law. She cast her mind for a soul who would be winning to undertake such a journey. And so, on a windy evening, she looked for a newspaper page that had been battered and blown across the land. She wasn’t necessarily looking at the words themselves; it would be the way that they displayed their words upon the page of the advertisement.

The Big Dip #sambourne 6

Heading east, we walked directly through the woods until the trail met up with a track. Turning right, we headed south until the track met up with the road by the ford. It’d be interesting to  see how deep this ford is in times of drought. There’s a footbridge to get pedestrians across, but for traffic you’ve got to take the risk and plunge through. Fortunately, you can see the bottom  today, so if you take it nice and slow, it won’t be a problem. Just keep your vehicle slow and steady so that water won’t come up through the engine and flood it. What you have to watch out for are the idiots who decide to rev their engines and floor their vehicle through, creating a huge splash as they enter the water. This makes it easier for water to enter the bonnet and create all sorts of problems for the engine.

Why should you put a bottle in a parked car tyre when travelling alone?

I’ve got no idea. Are we looking at plastic bottles, or glass bottles for defence? If it falls out, it could be considered littering as it rolls across the floor. It seems very strange and I can’t see what this achieves. Are you supposed to hear the bottle if the car approaches you if you’re on foot? Perhaps you’re supposed to leave money in it in the hope that the person who finds it is a shaman and will bless your journey. Or maybe the person who finds it will offer to accompany you on your journey so that you’re not travelling alone any more. It’s a very odd practice. Maybe the interviewer hasn’t thought the question  through properly. Perhaps you’re trying to confuse a thief as he’ll see that someone else is already trying the same scam that he is to lure you out of your car and it’s therefore being watched.

The Approach #sambourne 5

It’s a proper yellow brick road entrance. It’s as if we’ve come to the wizard’s home after a long journey. The bricks near the entrance. They seem distorted images that are about to fade in and out of a computer picture, leading to a true entrance. It might even slide away to reveal a garage or a passageway underground. After all, this was where the gunpowder plot was conceived. Even today, this still could be a communication monitoring station and headquarters. The flagpole could double as an aerial. It’s a building that could be easy to reinforce without being too suspicious. It’s in the countryside with flat open fields so it’s not a problem by air. There’s road and horse access through the countryside, and you can escape on foot through the fields if you need to. And there’s even a river that you can flood to prevent escape or create a distraction for another getaway.

We think about...picnics!

It’s not something you’d think that a video game company would typically think about. Spending time outdoors with other people away from computer games and screens is a distraction and totally discourages sales. Unless, of course, it’s a pitch to sell one of their mobile gaming units or encourage you to play a game on your phone. Or maybe the bright light will make them cower in fear and look forward to returning home to purchase more games. It’s hard to see a screen in broad daylight. The mind can’t focus on purchasing new games when you’re playing new games. Or maybe they’re not addicted and they’re happy that at work outside while you remain indoors enslaved to their products. They could be enslaved themselves. They’d love to go on a picnic; but they’re too busy creating more products for you to buy. Maybe they just want a lunch break.