Cornwall QI #dreamdiary 227

Me and my Uncle have come down for a look around Port Issac. Cornwall has been invaded by an influx of hipsters lately in that people are posting graffiti around the villages with QR codes which takes people to harmful or malicious websites when they scan it with a mobile phone. As we park in the village, a purple double-decker bus drives past which wouldn’t be out of place in a scene from Harry Potter. The driver gets out and warns us of the dangers of taking photos of the images as smartphones are quick to detect the link held within, and unsuspecting people believe that they’ve found a secret hidden ‘Easter Egg’ which takes them to a website to find out more about the artist. Fortunately, I’ve got common sense, but a lot of people have been swindled. I leave my Uncle there and head to the Welsh border for a swim.

Bagged #dreamdiary 226

I’ve been out for a day in London with my brother and his family. We’re on the underground heading back to the mainline to catch our return train home. As we leave the underground train, I realise that I’ve left my backpack on the carriage and bolt back to retrieve it. I make it back to my bag, but the doors close and the train starts leaving the station. I call my brother and tell him what’s happened and that I’ll get off at the next station and change trains to come back again and hopefully I’ll make it back before our mainline train departs. That’s easier said than done. I get off the underground with twenty minutes to spare but I’ve still got to change trains to come back. The route to the other side of the platform seems to take me outside the station. It’s snowing and I’m struggling to walk without slipping. I make it to the ticket barricade which is manned by a small boy. As I struggle to find my credit card, a teenage girl pushes in front of me.

Instant Ink

I was initially against this from the start. You’d get charged regardless of whether or not you print, and it could work out to be expensive. But everything on the screen encourages me to sign up, and I get the first three months free. The next thing I know, I get an email telling me that my new cartridges are being despatched, even though I’ve barely used the ink that’s come supplied with my printer. The three free months have past and I’m now being charged, but I don’t mind as I haven’t paid for the cartridges that I’ve used. Fast forward five months later, and I’ve just installed the new cartridges. I haven’t got any instant cartridges ready in case my current ones run out. Do I cancel the plan and go back to shop ones? Will I get a hundred emails inviting me back if I do? I’ll have to sit down and work out the cost.

Bridge Battle #habberley 31

 This was the moment before Princess Peach got sucked down through the hosepipe into computer game land. It starts as a drip then it forms into a downpour followed by a tornado as you’re forced to follow the direction of the water. Or the hose could wrap itself around her leg to drag her deep underground. A second one is already lined up to target the person behind. Will they go down together or will the second person get a moment to react? Will they reach forward to try to help the first person unaware that they are to share a similar fate? Or will they attempt to save themselves by just backing off and running away? They might have even broke an arm off the banister in an effort to defend themselves. Meanwhile, one of the trees has decided to join in on the action by giving her a good whacking.

Time to close some roads I think. We need the space for the people.

Motorists don’t like road closures. They have to follow diversions. Satnavs don’t help as half of the time they don’t recognise the fact that the road’s closed and they’ll try to get you to turn around or take the next road to allow you to do so. Delivery drivers will be even more confused. Pedestrians and bikers love it though. They can parade around without fear of being beeped at; sworn at or knocked over. Some will appreciate the extra space and will be able to spread out. Sometimes not even the locals will know why it is closed and what’s going on. They might have scrolled past it on social media but it hasn’t sunk in. but it might et them from A to B a little bit quicker. And the people who get to put the barriers up to stop traffic coming through get to be a little bit important as well.

Hair Loss #habberley 30

Someone needs a haircut. It’s terrible on the top and all the sides just sticks out. It looks like I’m a crazy lab assistant who’s recovering from a round of chemo. What was I thinking? Hopefully it was a very windy day so I would be able to get away with it at the time. That would explain why I’m carrying a fleece while the others are wearing large coats. Hopefully everyone else is in the same boat. There’s some very open-top areas with winds rushing over the ridges. But it looks like I’m not used to the outside world, especially with that ensemble that I’m wearing. I’m clearly hoping to shelter somewhere warm after this excursion, probably nursing something while standing up. There could be a possibility that I’ve already gone through across the bridge and have gotten wet first. But why am I carrying my coat around for a second time?

Burnham ignited a massive political battle -Beth Rigby unpicks Prime Minister's Speech

So our new fearless leader has just given a big speech. No doubt there’s something in it about pensions and looking after our elderly. But with the price of fuel rising, where is the cash going to come from? The year 2030 has been mentioned; should we be prepared for an expensive year of tax hikes? And that’s assuming that the current administration will still be in power. The ‘not the usual perspective on politics’ is fair enough. The man has just recently lost his father. But there’ll come a time when the government will need to be seen acting to protect society rather than continue to give out handouts.  I wonder where the ‘rocket’ is being stowed. Past policies are being undone. And that creates help for the people now but not necessarily in the future. People will question it but they won’t want to challenge it for fear of becoming unpopular. But at least he looks human in his appearances.

Snapped #habberley 29

How long will it hold for? There’s got to be hundreds of kids riding this thing every day. Hopefully the owners test it each day before they open the park and walk round to inspect everything regularly. Safety must be prioritised over fun, otherwise it could become a costly business. That smile could vanish in a moment. Her enjoyment of the whole day could vanish too, and she might not want any reminders of what she’s been up to either. It could take a windy day and a tree branch  to fall onto the equipment as well. You can’t depend on the trees to support your infrastructure forever. It looks like her shadow is swinging off her foot to try and pull her off. Or it could be trying to snap off a tree branch or make a crack in the ground. Hope she’s aware that it’s not just gravity working against her here.

What's the joke of the day?

So is this going to be a topical twister of the day or a simple pun? Will it be a clean long tale to understand and chuckle at and will it allow for my tastes? And will it be the same joke every time for the remainder of the day? I hope not. With the first joke, I’m not sure if it’s kidding or not. It tells me to drink a gallon of water at night to make me get up earlier in the morning. Some people will do that anyway as they come home from the pub. There’s a good chance of me getting up earlier in the night then returning to sleep afterwards. I might not even make it to the bathroom. Of course, Alexa won’t be bothered by that because she wants me to use her to order more sheets. There’s no punchline or musical sound effects either.

Hoo-ray Up She Rises #habberley 28

Dealing with children is a little bit like dealing with drunks. They prise on happiness, and it often overcomes them. Take it way and they get upset very easily. But their mood is easier to change than an adult’s. is it because they forget things too easily? You want to allow them time to enjoy things, but you also want them to move on and discover other experiences. They may not want this and will object as much as they can. You may give them an opportunity to come back later, even though it may be a false promise. If they’re not enjoying it, you’ve also got to make them try it for a bit. You’ve also got to look out for signs of boredom and give them the option to leave if they want to. And when they’re down, you’ve got to try and pick them up again. It’s all part of being a parent.

The Church

It depends upon what you came here for. Most people visit to listen to a service. You won’t overhear many topics of conversation in the long term other than what’s said in the sermon. Anything else would just be considered as rude. Get there early enough and you’ll see the regulars outside greeting each other and asking how’s their week’s been or even inside, hanging over the pews, shaking hands and sharing family news. They might seek each other out for a chat or an invite to take place after the sermon and they want to establish where individuals are sitting. It’s also an opportunity to account for people in the community by working out who’s away, who’s ill and who is missing. Outside the sermon, you’ve got the visitors who talk in hushed whispers so as not to try and disturb the solitude. They might circle back to each other to make sure that no-one’s missed a key part in the community’s history. Usually there’ll be a war memorial but occasionally there’s another local tragedy to commemorate. You might not discuss it in detail until you’re safely outside.

Sweet Swinging #habberley 27

She’s just enjoying the peace and tranquillity of the glide. There’s no effort to be had any more. It’s time to sit back, relax, and enjoy things. The hard work of seeking out the seat, mounting it, and getting it to move has all been achieved. There’s a sense of grace and royalty as she glides around, bemused by the effort required. Or maybe she's pondering what's beneath the hill. Are the panels there for her safety? Or are they covering something up? Perhaps there's a giant pole underneath that will raise her higher. Maybe it will activate if she pulls the rope above her. Maybe she's comfortable with things are and she doesn't want this to happen. Maybe the children behind her are waiting to coordinate with her so that this can happen. They'd like to see her get off so that they can go higher. Let the negotiations begin.

Motherland

This was a fun yet sadistic little series. I love the fact that each character had their own outlook yet is forced to conform to come together for a shared goal but somehow manages to make themselves the ultimate bitch while the children suffer in silence in the process. There’s a little bit of sympathy towards what mothers have to go through and perhaps they weren’t ready to have children and then they happened. It would have been more interesting to focus on a prequel rather than a sequel based on the most selfish characters that I can’t stand. I would have liked to witness Julia go through a divorce at some point but the conclusion was very emotional and should be something that we all dread and should be something that we all dread. Each series seemed short and I would have liked to have seen more mishaps But there are some real heart of community scenes.

Christed Up

It all depends on how dedicated you are to the cause. Is it a day job or are you genuinely interested? Or are you just volunteering for the role because no-one else has come forward? It’s a shame to let traditions die but it might have to be the way if you can’t get the support you need. More importantly, you need to enjoy doing it. Even if you want to get rid of the position, you need to stay positive to convince others that it’s worth doing. You might never ever hear from them again, but if you provide a positive experience and their inquiry is easy to deal with, they’re more likely to help you out next time. If you get into an argument, it might put the final nail in your coffin and force you to leave whatever the consequences may be. Then the organisation will be in the shit but at least you can justify your reasons.

Drifting #habberley 26

Do we give in and give them a push or do we let them do the hard work? Ideally, we’d lie them to figure it out for themselves. We want them to be independent but at the same time we don’t want them to drift through life. We have to drop clues from time to time. We also want them to enjoy the experience without being fearful. We want them to be in control; though we’re still there to keep an eye on them just in case. But we can also take a step back and relax; though we can step in if they get scared or we think that they’re being too dangerous. They’re enjoying their time but someone could step in at any moment and cause a hazard. They also look ridiculously small compared to the size of the thing. Maybe that’s why she’s clinging on. She looks secure though.

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."

-Oscar Wilde.

It’s important to stay unique. Copying the work or mantra of others might help you to develop skills; but to copy someone else completely is just going to devalue both yourself and them. It would be great if you could completely impersonate them without being discovered. If you’re looking for someone specific; the world is full so you may just have to copy yourself. But you have to get to know yourself first. But it’s quite a factual statement. How do you know for sure? Will there be a battle to see who is the best? Probably. You may struggle to find your uniqueness in the process. And it’s important that you don’t lose yourself or forget about your past. And it’s also important that you don’t worship others who try to follow the same path. There may be too many for you to get into that game. It’s better that you create your own.

Powering the County #habberley 25

These things seem like massive scales but they’re really good fun. The view over the hillside is excellent too. If you time it right, you might be able to make out the smoke of the local heritage railway. But you’ve got to put the effort in to have a good ride while having a partner that will work with you to yank the chain at the right time. This little one seems exhausted to try to get the thing started but she’s determined to give it a try. The young could be powering the country this way in the future. They might be powering some of the country right now by having a turbine hidden deep underneath the hill. Rural communities might have to rely on this sort of power so that its traditional infrastructure isn’t dug up. Either that or it’s an interesting way to weigh kids without their knowledge.

Unstoppable Force #empress 28

Meanwhile, the empress was taking great pleasure in her new size. She was constantly looking for ways for her subjects to please and amuse her. If they wouldn’t, they would be sacrificed for food; either as a sacrifice themselves or put to work farming nearby fields. Soldiers would just create labour camps across the lands that she trod on. Anyone who wouldn’t comply would be killed and cooked. There seemed to be no shortage of people, as they’d always get excited when they saw the royal banner though these days they were likely to see their empress first. It would give them reassurance after the monstrosity. No-one would be spared. The generals thought it be best to steer the empress to their borders where she could confidently destroy the enemy populaces. But getting control and persuading her would be quite a feat. Perhaps they could train a team to please her while heading in the right direction.

Natural or Man-made?

Once again, the land of blanks has conjured up another rubbish image. This could be the inside of my jacket pocket. It’s amazing how nothing is the same when you get up close and personal and zoom in on it. It would be nice to think that this is some kind of forest. Maybe I just need a new phone. Perhaps you can make out an island or two amongst a sea of oceans. Or maybe I’ve dropped my phone into a puddle. It could even be algae or some kind of fauna growing in a pond. Or it could simply be the grass at night. The different shades could reflect different amounts of moisture or angles of the blades of grass. I almost thought that I could make out a face but the screen may need cleaning. There is something creating layers and steps on the centre left. It could be a gateway to another world.

Taking the Telly #dreamdiary 225

I’m desperate to watch TV. It seems to be an addiction. I seem to be breaking into people’s houses to do it. I’m supposed to be delivering newspapers but I’m learning peoples’ habits as I travel. When I know that a house is unoccupied, I can either snap the door handle to gain access to the lock or kick the door in. If someone comes, I just move onto the next home. I wonder if I can get through an entire program before someone discovers me. If I had somewhere to stay, I could just take the TV with me, but I seem to be homeless. If I could find an outlet somewhere that I know that I’m not going to be interrupted then I’ll be happy. In the meantime, I’m just wondering around looking for the next house with people leaving their doorstep. Sometimes I pass houses that I’ve already been inside and there’s a police car outside and people are taking photographs.

Face or Head?

It’s hard to know which is which, but it’s probably more likely to be the hand. It doesn’t matter if it’s a selfie or not. There’s not many instances where you have your phone pressed against your face; unless you’re taking a call while the camera’s still running. Or you might have zoomed in on someone else’s face. There’s not much else it can be other than skin. But how has this occurred? The shutter has been pressed in a quick attempt to return the phone to the pocket. There’s no marks or scars and the smooth colour suggests that it’s someone quite young. Maybe they stuck their hand out to attempt to stop the picture from being taken and to cover up the lens. Or I could have just dropped the phone in a patch of soil. If it wasn’t for the photos that preceded or followed this picture, I might have mistook it for another time and place.

Can I legally unplug or remove anything my neighbour has plugged into my outdoor outlet without getting into trouble?

 For god’s sake, grow a spine! They’re stealing your property. Are you going to let them enter your house and eat your food next? So long as you’re sure that you’re the bill payer and it’s your property; it’s yours to do with as you wish regardless of the situation. Even if it’s a life-threatening situation, you still have the right to unplug and they should have probably told you beforehand. But it’s very rare that this is the case. You might want to see if your neighbour has any problems with their supply first just to be on the safe side. Otherwise, go ahead and remove the cord and place it back on their property. If they complain, ask why it’s there in the first place. Make it clear that this isn’t OK. If they’ve asked your permission, or you already have an agreement in place, you’ll need to let them know the reason that you’ve changed your mind first.

The Flexibility Method #habberley 24

Maybe she’s happy to be outside, but something’s caught her eye that’s made her grin. Is it something’s that the photographer’s done or is it the goats in the paddock beyond? It looks like they’ve got their own playground set up or at least a see-saw. Is it just for them to play on or is someone training them as part of a circus act? It could be a new petting zoo feature or a whole show; either on-site or filming them elsewhere where they’ll perform a stunt for a bit of food. I’ve always wondered if those animals sometimes get overfed. Maybe the famers have to switch them around. But if the pen’s on a hill, wouldn’t it be easy for them to do a trot or a jump and a skip to jump over? Maybe they like their home too much or they’ve worked out that they can jump back in again if they need to.

The Big Cheese

The rat is back! At least we think he is; although it could be a different he or she. We think it’s because next door has put a bird feeder up after their bare basic garden renovation and he’s come into our garden afterwards for a bit more of the natural life. He’ll have a wander around and he’ll go for a dip in the pond until we tap the windows to scare him off. But we don’t want him here spreading his germs in the first place. In come the poison rocks. They’re easy to install; though they’re more like pods rather than the blocks that we usually get which don’t seem to be available any more. The whole box comes with a pair of disposable plastic gloves but I’m not sure if you’re supposed to pierce the pouch, though it’s the only way to mount it in the trap.

Hold on Tight #habberley 23

Get your leg over! That’s what we want to shout. It’s probably not appropriate for someone her age; but then again it is literal and practical advice. The little one is waiting patiently but it would be so easy to give her a little push and she’ll slide off onto the floor. She might be on the way out anyway. A little hand might be coming out to help her by grabbing to steady her fall. The trouble is that she might be blamed for pushing her if she’s even touched as it’s unexpected. She could also be accused of being unsisterly by not helping out. She could cheer her or taunt her but then she could be accused of putting her off. She could also  try to get revenge by doing the same to her and recreate what she thinks might be the same conditions. It’s all part of spending too much time together and they need to learn boundaries.

CAMRA has revealed new data which shows that dozens of much loved pubs have burned down in the past 10 years. CAMRA believes destroying a pub should be a criminal offence, and we want to see councils produce local enforcement plans to set out clear deterrents.

Wouldn’t burning a building down count as arson which would be a crime anyway? I suppose it wouldn’t count if you deliberately burnt your own property and just want to dispose of it to sell the land or rebuild something on it without declaring it a crime afterwards for insurance purposes. It’s all a matter of cost; though it may be a terrible waste of resources and the rubble wouldn’t do your public image any good. But this law is effectively talking about transfer of ownership. This is why so many owners are willing to market their premises as a restaurant so it seems that there’s a change of use before it’s disposed of. It’s a difficult decision as you could be seen to stand in the way of progress and it must be something that would benefit everybody. No-one wants to be left with an eyesore. So, will councils end up buying these to create community projects? It’s going to be a difficult one to solve.

The Tube #habberley 22

Who needs YouTube when you’re on the tube? Although I suppose that you could end up on YouTube after an attempt on this tube as your fail is recorded. As well as climbing over it, you could also attempt to crawl through it or even beneath it for a full commando challenge. Of course, someone will want to attempt it while someone else is on top of them which should cause them to lose their balance. Someone could also become stuck underneath They might need some help to pull them out. Pushing will only make it worse and more painful but it might be the only solution. And that’s after the fact that you could be boxed in from either side. It’s going to get hot very quickly in there, and you could start to lose oxygen too. At least there’s no sharp bits; although you could get grazed as you come out over the edges.

Sing Me a Song

It’s going to be a bit boring with no backing music. She might try and seek some out though. But I think I’d have preferred it if she played a song at random. I hope that there’s a large database. She might even ask me questions on what I want the song to be about. The first song is about dogs, and there’s a military accompanist tune with it. There’s quite a few verses, and it’s very creative. The next song just gets on my nerves but there’s only one verse and no musical accompanist. After that I’m treated to another music less number which has lots of verses. At first I’m thinking it’s just going to be the lyrics to a pop song, but then it’s more of a nursery rhyme. The next one is short and sweet and it’s about friendship, and it’s a proper musical number. I wonder how many of these there are.

'Run you fools, you will die'; Meet the unit of Russian defectors fighting for Ukraine

It sounds like a line out of a movie. But who’s saying it? Is it a threat to kill them if they run away? Is it a group of people volunteering to commit treason against their military? Perhaps they could take control of the military as well if they have enough resources, or fund their own country. But they’ve actually left home. They might not be allowed to return if their identity is discovered, and they’ll have to prove where they’ve been and what they’ve up to during this time. But if they operate from the other side, it makes things easier for them. Some of them have even served on the other side before defecting, recognising the evil that’s occurring. But fighting back this way may not give the home side much persuasion to follow suit. It might be more humane to rescue the injured Ukrainians which will steer you out of trouble.

Dominion #henley 3

Turning left, we continued through the housing estate then turned right onto Riverside Gardens which is a cul-de-sac. We followed the path around the bend until it faced north then on the left-hand side a concrete footpath emerged between the houses and some woodland. This footpath bore southwest to cross a stream to lead to another road, then we turned right to head north onto another footpath. This took us along the river for a short while, then at the junction we turned left to head west back into the car park. We saw quite a few sights on this walk, but this church was the most impressive building. It must have had quite a bit of influence in its day with its long wall built across the field to display its domain. I wonder if these rent agreements still apply, or if the church chose to sell them off for a big lump sum. Bet it wishes it didn’t now.

Dear Evan Hansen

This was a captivating film and I wanted to see if it would end in tragedy or success. Some of the songs are quite catchy, but some of them need a bit of work, and it would have been nice to have a bit of realism thrown in there as a reaction; i.e. why has this person suddenly decided to break into song in this situation? It would have been good to have seen a therapy session as well, perhaps at the beginning. It might have been more relevant if they had addressed COVID since that was occurring during its filming. But it does demonstrate how people are trying to cope with things. The video is quite inspirational. And it’s great to see a woman of strength assist Evan, despite what he may throw at her. It’s also a story of pride. It’s also interesting to see how people react to the lie.

Go West Young Lamb #henley 2

Heading west, we crossed through a wood to reach a stile at the end, then climbed a hill in a north-westerly direction. Just before we reached another stile, we turned left and headed directly west which brought us out onto the road. Turning left, we followed the road around the bend until it turned directly south, then turned right into the church car park. After passing the church, we continued west and crossed a stile to follow the path downhill towards the road. We passed through the kissing gate and walked directly through the gate opposite to pass through a farm. Continuing west, we crossed eleven stiles along a ridge until we descended onto a road. A short turn right found our next stile on the left, which brought us onto a descent to a road. Turning left, we walked back through suburbia to a T-junction, where we turned right followed by the first left.

 

The Playground

It’s hard to envision what’s going on sometimes. The focus is to play on the next piece of equipment. They’re constantly on the move and don’t like to wait. Sometimes they want to seek out the attention of a parent our sibling to demonstrate what they’ve learnt, especially when they’re trying something new. If there’s a friend or sibling with them, they’ll taker the time to compete or organise a game or create some rules. Sometimes they’ll cry out to their guardian for help if there’s something that upsets them or stops them from what they’re trying to achieve, or if it’s something that they don’t understand. They’ll want to keep an eye out or know where to go to get help. Sometimes they’ll be followed around by a responsible person. They may happily chat back at you. Others are solely focused on the new experience in front of them. Some kids will get bossy and will lay down rules.

The Hills of Henley #henley 1

Leaving the car park at the north, we turned right onto a footpath that curved south past a children’s playground. As it joined the road, we followed it south until it reached another road. Crossing it, we turned left and headed east past the school until we came to a gate just past the last house. Entering the field, we headed south and crossed over the stile into a ploughed field, and after passing the farm buildings on our right, the path bore south-east and began to cut through another field. The path followed the river around a meander until it reached another stile, then shortly afterwards we bore east to cross another stile to reach a road. Heading south, the road crossed the river then we turned left to follow the road over to the canal. Turning left onto the towpath, we followed the canal underneath the main road, and passed under another bridge before reaching a third.

By George

He’s tall and thin, and has a smile on his face. He knows how to greet people. He has thin wispy hair and a classic handlebar moustache alongside a large nose and stick-out ears. He has a small build with a bit of a bulge on his belly. He always aims to dress smart with the simplest of clothes, even when at home. He’ll always wear some kind of shirt; either a formal one or a polo shirt. He’ll take care in his appearance to  be well-groomed with the shiniest of shoes or the whitest of trainers. He listens very intently to people’s answers, and isn’t afraid to ask questions, although he does do it to insist that he does not mean to offend. He’s actually very intelligent, although he doesn’t like to show it, especially with a deep, loud and slow black country accent. He’s rather surprise people with what he can do.

Screening out for Change

It’s that time of day to log on and chat nonsense. We can talk about our worries or just muck about with what’s in front of us. Not much may have happened but we want to analyse everyone’s movements. It’s also good to hear that everyone is doing OK, and to see about getting people help and advice if they need it. But there’s not much that we can do if we don’t know about it. We also make plans based on the assumption that nothing is going to change in the near future. It’s odd that some of us have decided to use a company’s logo as an avatar when we’re not representing that company. I don’t think that the company would be very impressed. But we didn’t get too many invites to other people’s parties which probably said a lot about ourselves. We should really take the time for some self-improvement.

Change the Rules

-The Doctor,

Sometimes things just don’t work out. You’ve found a clause that others can take advantage to get their way and you’re not sure how things should work out. Someone is taking advantage and it doesn’t seem fair. If you want to stop that from happening again, something needs to change. If you just go and break them, you could get into trouble, even though the person in front of you may have gotten away with it. Sometimes it’s easier said than done and you’re going to need others to help you. That means making sure that they see things the same way that you do. You’ve also got to make sure that they’re going to be applied to everyone. Leaders pay attention to the most voices. Or, failing that, become one. And once you’ve got the policy set up, you’ve got to watch people who will try to overturn your decision.

NHS No

What would we do without the humble post-it note? It’s the gateway of computer passwords and there are probably millions of them stuck to screens and monitors. This one is to make a record of who I am which I probably won’t need when I get there. They’re more interested in my address and my date of birth rather than my number; so that they can direct someone to my house as soon as possible. It’s not a place that I visit regularly, and hopefully I won’t be doing the same in the future. It’s a makeshift place at the end of an industrial estate and there’s lots of parking and people on hand to direct me. I have to wait in a long line outside, but it’s only long because we all have to keep our distance. Inside, we all loop round to a person with a clipboard until we’re allocated a cubicle.

Crack on a Crack #devilsdaughter 28

Dust drifted down from the rafters. Realising how fragile the building was, she realised that she had a good chance of knocking the wall down. She didn’t want to touch the window, but if she placed all of her weight on the wall in one go, it had a chance of falling apart. The safest way was putting her crack on the crack that she had already made. She could feel it widen as she leant on it already. She thought about taking a run at it but remembered how the building shook earlier. She could feel cool air blow through the wall. She smiled and began to jiggle. Floorboards creaked underneath her. Debris began to fall and bounce off her giant derriere. She could feel the wind on her red hair. Then she stepped through like passing through a mirror into  the world beyond. She wasn’t sure what was behind her.

Bird Trap

I’ve found a forest friend in the most unlikely of places. Although there’s a giant wood nearby, there’s also rows of houses alongside a fast main road which is where I found him. Maybe he’s been raiding back gardens for food and now he’s pulling up worms from nearby grassy patches. The nice gap of brown soil is a good spot  to watch worms surface. The centre left gap might even be the entrance to a burrow. What’s on the left of that isn’t clear. It could be a rock, a bit of paper, or some tissue. The robin himself could have ventured out of one of these holes. It’s nearly like a magic eye. He’s lower to the ground than me so it’s probably easier for him to see them. He probably has much better eyesight than me too. But the ground could gobble up anything that puts pressure onto it.

If I buy an entire row of seats on a long flight so no one is next to me, can the airline sell one of my empty seats to someone or will they respect the fact that the empty seats are mine to do as I please with?

It’s weird that communications doesn’t work both ways, but unfortunately, people have to be checked in. Once the airline realises that those seats aren’t going to be filled; they’ll try to sell them to someone else; providing that there’s no-one waiting on stand-by. If you check in at the desk, someone may ask where the rest of your party is. You’ve got to make an arrangement with the airline first if you need more room. It’s difficult because they want to out everyone into the same bubble which makes things easier for them to deal with. But companies are different. You need to check the booking terms and conditions when you book. And if there’s a good deal, they need to put procedures into  place so that their competitors don’t buy these seats which would force customers to seek out more expensive flights. Know your rights before you go. It’s difficult to look them up once you’ve boarded!

Who would live in a house like this? #sambourne 14

It’s got to be an old couple. Either that or it’s rented out. They know what they’re doing. The Cotswold stones are there to protect the grass and prevent people from  parking and driving over their lawn. I wonder if they have to repaint the walls every year to keep them that pristine white. Maybe they get away with jet washing them every couple of months or pay someone to do it for them. It all adds to  the cost of village living. It’s quite cute, but the whole building does seem to lean on its chimney. You’d half expect it t be moving up and down like it was breathing in a cartoon. It could almost be inflatable, pinned down with telegraph wires and pitched anywhere the hosts fancy. The grass always looks greener on the other side. The fence looks a bit exposed though. Maybe it’s a pallet placed vertically to form a gate.

A Three Pack

These ice blocks came quickly; but we did have a less practical back-up option ordered to collect at a store just in case. They were light and chunky and easy to fit into the freezer and didn’t take up much room in the cool bag either, but did the job to keep the bag cool throughout the day. The brand name also gives a bit of reassurance that the product is going to do what it says on the tin. It’s a shame that they didn’t come in a choice of colours, but I suppose blue is the most practical and they do stand out when you’re looking for them. The non-toxic element is also reassuring. No-one wants to get sick after consuming a beverage. It’s a shame that you have to keep them on a flat surface when freezing. You may have to reorganise your whole freezer drawer to fit them in.

Glasshouse Tap is 5

I’ve never actually managed to visit. I’ve come close, but they weren’t open at the time. It wasn’t doing very well and they were struggling to keep the place open. I haven’t even seen anywhere that sells its beers or met anyone that’s tried them. The website is just a mixture of cans and t-shirts to choose from, and there’s no information about its history or how the name was chosen at all, even if you pry away at a side menu. I’ve been told that it’s easily accessible from the canal. It’s proving very difficult to find a picture. I’m guessing that tables are laid out like a Bavarian beer hall. It’s probably not somewhere that you’d choose to sit inside in warm weather. Still, it’s another one to attempt to tick off the bucket list; that’s assuming if it makes it to another year. Better try to get there sooner rather than later.

Abandon Pub #sambourne 13

I’m not a big fan of this pub. It’s very picturesque but the couple in charge are a bit backwards. It’s run by a grumpy old bat and her grown-up son who runs the kitchen and tends to the bar on quiet evenings. We’d booked a room a few months in advance for a group meeting. And because it was a picturesque pub; we’d put it on the front cover of our seasonal magazine. I called ahead a few weeks in advance to remind them that we were coming. Then on the evening, the staff totally blanked us. They hadn’t got our room ready and only had one beer on which wasn’t in the best condition and soon ran out. At the break, I was considering abandoning the meeting to go to another venue; but they did add another beer. At the end of the meeting, they confessed to me that they’d forgotten that we were coming. I haven’t been back since.

Speak like Shakespeare

Am I to be bombarded with quotes from the bard? Will there be excerpts from his plays? Or is this an excuse to use ‘oldspeak’ and put ye in front of every word? She might not be able to do it successfully and give up in a tongue-twisted stupor. Or I might get an everyday conversation. I get a speech that I can’t understand, but that’s quite usual. The second attempt is different, and I begin to understand the first half but it becomes too long for my brain to process what it means. A third attempt is also unique and short, and I understood the first bit but not the second. Some of it doesn’t make sense; like cowards die many times but the valiant only die once. At the end of the day, it just a collection of quotes that it’s read out. It’s not like you can have a conversation.

When Trees Attack #sambourne 12

It looks like something’s getting ready to charge. They’re even pointing. The one on the right might be holding the branch like a cane. It might be the commander while all the left ones are lining up like obedient troops. There’s even a butterfly in the top left to act as a scout. Are the nearest ones having a duel about having to attack, or are they exchanging strategies? The door actually looks like quite a weak point. After all, it’s made as the same materials as themselves. The bushes have already been sent in. They’re blocking the windows and making sure that there’s no escape. And some more reinforcements have been sent in on the right behind them while some of the older troops have been sent to approach from the rear. And now they’re ready to begin their assault. Will they open fire or drop the command to charge?

Spider-Man: Homecoming

It was strange to see a film without an origin story; though it blended in nicely with the rest of the franchise and people were already familiar with the character. The idea of having another superhero as a mentor is also quite unique for this franchise and works well with the age of the characters. The relationship between Ned and Peter is also good fun; though the rest of the class is a little too close. There’s a bit of bullying but it’s mental rather than physical. At least Parker tries to do the right thing. This actor has the right level of immaturity which makes his decisions fun to watch. I like the irony that Happy is not happy to help Parker out and does so only under Stark’s direction. It was a shame that the final battle didn’t take place at school; but I suppose it makes sense when you put it into context with the other films.

Exquisite Gardening #sambourne 11

Someone has some serious skills here with a hedge trimmer. It must really irritate them when there’s a twig or leaf poking up out of place or not in line. Even  the tree is carefully pruned. It looks like it’s got eyes. I wonder if it nibbles a bit of hedge each time the wind blows and bends it over. I wouldn’t know how it reaches the bushes on the far side though. Perhaps the leafless tree does that. They do look a little more rugged. Perhaps there’s lasers at night that trims off any excess growth. The sensors could be installed on the drainpipes. Or maybe there’s a template for every shape that’s kept in the gardener’s shed. It might even be a school for trainee gardeners and the mistakes are kept around the back. I bet that little blackboard reads “Keep off the grass”. But it does look more than four words. Maybe it states the punishment as well.

On the Run #dreamdiary 224

I’m wandering around holding a knife. It’s a clean blade but it’s in full view. I’m wearing shorts so I haven’t really got anywhere to stash it. I’m trying to discreetly get rid of it but there’s people everywhere I go. There’s red, green and yellow bins everywhere but they’re all completely full. I’m approaching a multi-storey car park and there’s people standing in front of the doors. It’s too crowded to run without injuring anybody. All I have to do is raise my arm and they quickly part to let me through. I wonder if I’m being tracked on camera. All I want to do is get back on the train to rejoin my family. My head seems to be getting cold. The next thing I know, I’m completely bald and I’m holding a whole head of hair in one hand. Have I managed to butcher myself and cut it all off?

Raising the Bridge #sambourne 10

Continuing north, we crossed two very large fields until we reached the hedgerows and crossed a stile to turn left. Heading west, we followed this footpath until it brought us into contact with a house. At this first boundary, we turned left and headed south directly across the field. Turning right, we entered the wood and headed north-west which allowed us to cross the brook and bring us out onto a field on the other side. Heading south-west, we walked directly across the field past the tree in the middle of it to reach the other side. We followed the hedgerow north until we passed the border of an outhouse, then took the stile left over the hedgerow into a plain grassed field. Heading south-west, we cut across this field and passed through another to reach our last stile which brough us out to the driveway of our starting point. 

Another major football body questions Infantino's leadership as pressure grows on FIFA boss

The man’s done something wrong. It’s offended a lot of people. It’s hard to be so neutral about the position when you look at ticket prices charged for the previous world cup. And it’s hard to see what else they do. It’s not as if they’re touring the world to play football in villages leaving merchandise behind and encouraging them to buy tickets for the next match. I could understand it if they would use the money to lower ticket prices but they haven’t stated openly what they would do with this extra investment apart from give it to the teams who take part. Instead, they just want to sell off their matches to companies who would charge people to view them. It could be a good deal for venues who could take out subscriptions just to show them to bring more people in; but that’s only if they’re not reaching capacity already.

Approaching the Green# sambourne 9

Continuing north, we followed the footpath through a field, keeping the river Arrow on our left. Crossing a stile, we continued through a wood to another stile which led to a trail with a wood on either side. We continued north until we passed three more stiles to reach a building on our right. Here, we walked halfway alongside the property until the footpath presented a left turn and faced a footbridge heading south. This took us across the river then we bore south-west through the wood until the path turned directly east. We stayed true to the arrow which brought us up to a small hill alongside a house, and at the end of the wall was a kissing gate which brought us onto the main road. Turning right, we crossed the road then continued east through the gap in the hedge. We followed the hedgerow directly east until it reached a wood, then turned right and headed north.

Grocery Store

I spend a lot of time in grocery stores. You don’t tend to notice many conversations between people as they go about in their groups. They spend more time focusing on what’s in front of them; what’s on offer and what’s the most efficient purchase for them. Occasionally, they’ll remind each other of events coming up and whether or not they should purchase that particular item. Mothers might get stressed trying to keep their children in check. Others may make remarks about their fellow shoppers; their attitude and their attire. You might see some groups interact with each other if they bump into another party that they recognise; especially if they haven’t seen each other in a while, but even then it’s for a short period as they recognise that they want to finish the task at hand. You’ll see squabble and hesitations over the most minutest of decisions. After all, you’re not going to be able to return most of this stuff.

Around the back #sambourne 8

Heading east, we crossed the ford via the footbridge, then as it met the road we turned left to head north and follow the footpath on the other side. This footpath followed a wood on our left and over a stile into a field beyond. On our left was the back of the manor. There was a stile to access it via a footbridge, but this would put us back onto the property. I’m sure that’s someone walking the grounds like a tourist, but the property should have been closed. Maybe it was a ghost. It might have been a statue and it does look like it’s on a pedestal, but surely if it was it would be positioned directly in front of the entrance. Maybe it’s a dummy to deter passers by. It’s placed at just the right distance that you can’t make out if it’s real or not. It might even be a wooden mop with clothes on.

Revenge of the Postie

He’s a jolly old fellow. He’s got black hair that’s tall enough to  be a mop, and it turns to a grey whisp towards his sideburns. There’s big chubby cheeks which surround a large, classic moustache below wide glasses and a beard to match. He always wears shorts, even in the winter, on top of big thick socks and boots. He’s a big man with a big belly and makes the vehicle shakes when he climbs in. He’s happy to help shift big items to prove that he’s still got the stamina, but when it comes to paperwork, it’s not his strong point. He can be a bit late and lazy at times, and his personal hygiene isn’t the best but he does own up to his mistakes and admits his ignorance. He likes to drive at speed and get the job done quickly, but sometimes his eagerness makes him leave things behind.

The Crossing #sambourne 7

So here’s someone giving it a go, creating waves and making their mark on the local land. It’s a proper car prepared for the elements so it should make it. But the entertainment comes if it does get stuck. Will the driver risk getting out, or will they appeal to local witnesses to help come and push? I wonder if it set off only after watching the car in front. It’s worth wondering if this route is worth it or is there a safer one available. There’s even something on the green on the left which could be a tombstone or tribute to those who didn’t make it. Some wouldn’t attempt it and turn back. But it’s a dream come true for local mechanics who come to the rescue. That van could be one ready and waiting, or it could have been abandoned. It’s a shame that the bollard’s in the way, otherwise I could go online and check.

"Your smile will give a positive countenance that will make people feel comfortable around you."

-Les Brown.

Even if you don’t want to smile and end up putting on a fake grin like a maniac, people will be more willing to approach you. They’ll be inclined to smile back and trust you, and you’ll feel that things will go easier as well. It’s infectious, and it’s an essential skill of customer service. You have to do it even if you feel like something’s going to be long and complicated and they’re going to straight up miserable at you. You might be able to reverse their thinking by giving them a positive experience, so long as you can react with sympathy to any bad news that they care to impart. Be careful if you’ve got bad breath or wonky teeth though, unless you want to scare them away. Sometimes it’s the eye contact that has it. And sometimes you just want them to leave you alone and approach someone else.

The Search #vampress 27

These people would still need to be the crème of the crop to represent her. They may be more difficult to control, but would show how much power she would yield. She would have to attract them with money at first to encourage them to leave their home. Perhaps she could invent a situation to encourage a junior eager to make his mark upon the world to come and visit. Someone who could get her affairs in order in the legal way, making sure that her property was protected and within the confines of the law. She cast her mind for a soul who would be winning to undertake such a journey. And so, on a windy evening, she looked for a newspaper page that had been battered and blown across the land. She wasn’t necessarily looking at the words themselves; it would be the way that they displayed their words upon the page of the advertisement.

The Big Dip #sambourne 6

Heading east, we walked directly through the woods until the trail met up with a track. Turning right, we headed south until the track met up with the road by the ford. It’d be interesting to  see how deep this ford is in times of drought. There’s a footbridge to get pedestrians across, but for traffic you’ve got to take the risk and plunge through. Fortunately, you can see the bottom  today, so if you take it nice and slow, it won’t be a problem. Just keep your vehicle slow and steady so that water won’t come up through the engine and flood it. What you have to watch out for are the idiots who decide to rev their engines and floor their vehicle through, creating a huge splash as they enter the water. This makes it easier for water to enter the bonnet and create all sorts of problems for the engine.

Why should you put a bottle in a parked car tyre when travelling alone?

I’ve got no idea. Are we looking at plastic bottles, or glass bottles for defence? If it falls out, it could be considered littering as it rolls across the floor. It seems very strange and I can’t see what this achieves. Are you supposed to hear the bottle if the car approaches you if you’re on foot? Perhaps you’re supposed to leave money in it in the hope that the person who finds it is a shaman and will bless your journey. Or maybe the person who finds it will offer to accompany you on your journey so that you’re not travelling alone any more. It’s a very odd practice. Maybe the interviewer hasn’t thought the question  through properly. Perhaps you’re trying to confuse a thief as he’ll see that someone else is already trying the same scam that he is to lure you out of your car and it’s therefore being watched.

The Approach #sambourne 5

It’s a proper yellow brick road entrance. It’s as if we’ve come to the wizard’s home after a long journey. The bricks near the entrance. They seem distorted images that are about to fade in and out of a computer picture, leading to a true entrance. It might even slide away to reveal a garage or a passageway underground. After all, this was where the gunpowder plot was conceived. Even today, this still could be a communication monitoring station and headquarters. The flagpole could double as an aerial. It’s a building that could be easy to reinforce without being too suspicious. It’s in the countryside with flat open fields so it’s not a problem by air. There’s road and horse access through the countryside, and you can escape on foot through the fields if you need to. And there’s even a river that you can flood to prevent escape or create a distraction for another getaway.

We think about...picnics!

It’s not something you’d think that a video game company would typically think about. Spending time outdoors with other people away from computer games and screens is a distraction and totally discourages sales. Unless, of course, it’s a pitch to sell one of their mobile gaming units or encourage you to play a game on your phone. Or maybe the bright light will make them cower in fear and look forward to returning home to purchase more games. It’s hard to see a screen in broad daylight. The mind can’t focus on purchasing new games when you’re playing new games. Or maybe they’re not addicted and they’re happy that at work outside while you remain indoors enslaved to their products. They could be enslaved themselves. They’d love to go on a picnic; but they’re too busy creating more products for you to buy. Maybe they just want a lunch break.

Who lives in a house like this? #sambourne 4

The gardener’s come outside for a cheeky pose for her friends. She’s not doing a very good job though. She might be happy with the size, but I’m not happy with the sight. Some of the windows might have holes that need fixing. The grass is all scorched to match the stone. She’s certainly let it go. Maybe she’s leaving l=it like this for the new owners to take care of, or she’s quitting her job today. Her jacket nearly matches the grass. If she lay down facing the camera, there’s a chance that her torso could be disguised, and all she’d need to do is find a long patch to hide the jeans. Perhaps there’s an army hiding behind the bushes with rifles, or even on the ground covered in grass. The sergeant’s in the trees with a periscope spying on us both. We’re probably going to get shot just for being on the lawn.

Robin Wall Art

It’s a nice size that draws a crowd. It’s got a little button that looks like it’s dressed up for a formal event in a waistcoat. It’s a nice thin aluminium that hasn’t split, despite falling off its hook a few times. And being as it’s now over six years  old, the colour’s faded a little but it’s endured a lot of weather. The green might not match the surrounding real green, but the brown is beginning to match the fence paint. The yellow has faded to silver, but it still looks good, undamaged and chipped, and you can still tell what it is. The paint might have faded completely in another six, but the metal will still be there. And I might get creative then and do my own paint job or try to restore it. Or I’ll probably just try and buy another one if the manufacturer’s still trading.

Adaptive Camouflage #sambourne 3

Continuing east, we cross a stile to reach a small road. We turned right and found our next stile on our immediate left to continue east. This put us on a dusty track that passed a large farming structure on our right. The track slowly bore south-east and crossed a ditch before running alongside a brook. The brook carried on underneath the road, and we passed through two gates to join it. Crossing the road, we turned right and continued south passing the driveway on our left alongside a rail next to an open field. Passing a cluster of oak trees, we continued south to a second cluster and passed through a kissing gate on our right. This brought us out to an outside view of this stately home where the gunpowder plot was planned. It’s been one of those dry summers where the colour of the grass matches the building.

Good Morning

It might not be a good one, but with a little knowledge, you can hold onto it for the day and make it a talking point or a conversation starter for strangers and friends that you meet. Hopefully there’ll be  a new fact every day. Use it with caution though. You don’t want to sound like a bit of a know-it-all. I get an update about how difficult it might be to get up in the morning, and I’m compared to someone who has circumnavigated the globe fourteen years ago. That might inspire me to rise. I say it again and I get a brand-new fact which develops into a series of facts that might be hard to remember. I go for a third and it cycles back to the first one. I guess I’ll have to wait for tomorrow to get new content. At least it’s something to look forward to.

Under the Bridge #sambourne 2

It’s amazing what farmers use for a shelter. It saves them having to build anything themselves. I think it’s some kind of engine. It could be a cherry picker used to maintain the bridge itself. On closer inspection, it looks like a trailer carrying a trolley. I wonder if any liquid drips through, or is the bridge is sufficiently covered with ballast to prevent this06. It looks like there’s been an accident already, and that a fence has had to be built around one of the bridge supports to prevent the farmer from crashing into it again. The farmer might have took it upon himself to do that. It looks like he’s taped off the other side. It could be electrified, or he could just be marking the border of his land. There might be an embankment under the larger arches and that’s why the whole thing is fenced off.

Bagging and Dragging #dream 223

I’m in a shopping centre. I’m on a quest to retrieve our luggage. We’re about to board a plane, but our luggage is being brought in via bus. The only problem is that I can’t find the bus station. I was given directions but I can’t remember what they were. I pass escalators heading up, but I can’t find anywhere that heads down. All I can see are rows of designer stores and restaurants amongst paved slabs and foliage. Eventually, I find the right escalator. It’s dark and cold and I spot the bus straight away. There’s an instant drop in temperature as I descend. A few moments later, I recognise the driver, who’s a large jolly father-type man with a beard who waves me off with my luggage. We’re the last ones to collect our cases. Now to find the other half while wrestling three bags. I’m going to have to head off upstairs again.

Ghost Train #sambourne 1

We’ve left the car on a small road by the village. It’s not obstructing anyone’s drive and people can get by. And there’s less chance of people visiting each other at the moment because of the lockdown. Starting on the green, we headed east on a footpath past a small wooden bus shelter that led down a driveway to a gate. Just before the end of the driveway, we turned left and crossed a style, then turned right to continue east directly across the field. On the south side was this old railway bridge which was part of the line from Redditch to Evesham. There’s a great video  on YouTube which shows pictures of the area then and now as it tracks an old train making its journey. You’d think that the line would run vertically to connect the towns directly, but it’s possible that Sambourne used to have its own station. 

Ann Droid

This was a great little comedy that had me laughing at the deadpan situations. Morgan’s voice can be annoying at times, but it’s designed to be that way. Her comedic smile to reassure her human is brilliant. Johnstone does a fantastic performance playing Sue, and the series addresses real life issues like loneliness and bereavement. It’s quite realistic, and the plot focuses on incidents that are quite common. Linda’s full functions are unknown, but Sue can’t learn everything in one series. It’s good fun how Linda interferes with her life for the better though, even if Sue isn’t ready for it and her motives are exposed. I did feel that Ready’s character and associates were a bit plastic and unrealistic; though I’m sure that people can relate to him. I’m looking forward to a second series. I’d like to see more of the technician come round for repairs, upgrades and maintenance.

Clowning Around

It’s that time of year again. I had my red T-shirt and the famous red nose on my conk but that’s as far as I went. It might be more than others though. It did feel a bit misleading to see they were only available through Amazon. I guess the shops were fed up with collectors opening all the boxes and rifling through them all to try and find the ones that they needed. It did leave a bit of a mess. But the shops could have sold them behind the counter though. Instead, you’re now restricting sales to those who can access the internet. This year’s theme was garden animals and I managed to get hold of a robin. Though what I usually do is buy three and let my nieces choose what they want and I have the one that doesn’t cause any arguments. They got a ladybird and a fox.

World Cup favourites France knocked out as Spain reach final -follow latest

There’s kind of nothing left to follow. The news is broke. The only thing left to do is get the reactions from either side. You can catch up on the score and the match report, but I suppose every highlight will now be published as we learn it. And we’re assuming football but it could be anything. But rather than focusing on the latest result, we get speculation from everyone about tomorrow’s upcoming game. Let’s face it; it’s the one that we’re all interested in. We even get videos of former pundits reminiscing about the last game. We have to dig deep to learn more about the headline that we came to read, but there’s plenty of other headlines to distract us here. It’s just what we want with an ongoing event, which could change at any time. We also learn what we can to help us predict the future.

Out of the Box #bentley 8

Postmen stay the same, but what happens if a courier comes? Will he try to deliver a parcel through the door? Hopefully they’re smart enough to find a hiding place or the owner may have left instructions, but there could be an attempt. It looks like there’s a panel missing above the door, though that could be the wind. Perhaps it’s a home for the birds. It’s an odd place as it’s very close to the road. Are there curtains and an attic room? Is there a back door? Do they suffer from damp as water falls through the chimney? Do they pay rent? And what sort of mess do they leave? It’s obvious that someone’s spent a bit of time crafting this. It’s not something that you can just buy out of a shop. The base looks a bit rotten. I hope it ca withstand strong gusts of wind.