The Wedding Crasher #dream 219

I’m off to a festival! It’s the first time that I’ve been let loose for a while so I decide to splash out on a taxi to get to the racecourse. Unfortunately, I’ve got Doncaster mixed up with Dorchester, and I’m at the latter where they’ve never held such an event. I’ve hired an Uber but I’ve gone for the cheapest option not realising that there’s no decimal in the quoted fare, and he’s actually taking me down south. After dozing off in the back of the cab, we near our destination and I tell the driver that the event’s at the main grandstand. Unfortunately, he decides to take a shortcut across the track where a wedding fare is taking place. We drive through marquee after marquee, ripping canvas out of the ground as we pass through a corridor of white and crash table after table full of cakes and gifts.

The Quiz Goblin Rides Tonight

You wouldn’t expect a goblin to be in the centre of Birmingham. It could be someone who just has pointy ears with  lot of earrings and wears leather. Does he go round from venue to venue asking questions in an evil voice? Does he punish people if they get the answer wrong? Perhaps he’ll keep asking question after question and won’t let people leave the pub. The landlord isn’t going to argue as people are just going to keep buying supplies from him. Maybe the goblin himself has to buy supplies. I wonder what he’s riding. Is it a motorbike, or perhaps he has a fancy glider to get around like in Spiderman films. Perhaps it’s a warning to stay out of his way. When he does get out and he can’t host any more, he likes to explore the coffee shops to search for victims to answer his questions.

Tinted

Is the fireplace trying to mimic the TV or vice versa? I think the fireplace is winning. All the TV has managed is an orange glint in the corner. The fireplace could be a TV screen displaying a fireplace. Even my shirt is trying to join in with bits of orange displayed. Maybe it’s going to combust into flames. The golden clock has begun to glow. Is it the cause of all this? Maybe it will melt. The picture in the mirror has also caught the bug. The carpet has started to glow white and will set fire at any moment. Flames are creeping up behind the TV and around the curtains, or at the very least, it’s smoke. And I wouldn’t be surprised if something shot out of the bin. Outside, the flames are starting to lap the window. And all we can do is carry on. Maybe there’s no escape.

 

"It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light."

-Aristotle Onassis.

I’ve been sitting in the dark for too long getting distracted. I’m not focusing. Instead I’m avoiding things. I don’t want to give up, but it’s easier not to do nothing. But nothing happens and I don’t go anywhere or do anything new. I’ve got to try. With a little bit of effort, things become easier. And if others can see you trying, they’ll pitch in too. You need to be very careful of how you manage your time, as it might not always be yours to waste. You need to be doing something, even if it’s the wrong thing, to demonstrate how important things are to you. You need to keep going. You might need to rest occasionally. At other times, you need to go all out otherwise you’ll feel that you’re sinking into a hole and you’ll never achieve your objectives. You must find a way to fight.

A few moments earlier...

We might have even had the grace of being passed over for sharing a learning moment. Something right behind us might not have been so lucky. It’s not quite a pair of feet left behind, but it could be shoes. She just could be learning grid references. We’ve evolved from dressing up to making things to wear to learn all in the space of a morning. We might even be recorded by the black box next to the TV. Will I let her win, or will I let her learn? But there is another child somewhere. We probably need to tidy up a little. We might have ducked unnecessarily and have gotten lucky. Family photos look on proudly as if they’re satisfied that we’re doing our best. It’s been thirsty work. The hands seem bigger than the body. Is that a second long finger sneaking under the black sleeved arm? Perhaps that’s why we need two flasks.

The Advance #vampress 26

For a moment, she considered an outsider who could provide an honest opinion with the willingness to get the job done to earn some cash. She’d later betray them by taking them into the fold to avoid paying, but she’d have to make sure that others would not come looking. People who had visited before would surely note that the topography had changed, but inviting new people from further afield would also attract attention. Perhaps someone young who would be keen to move to make a good impression and create a reputation? Perfect. She would send her subordinates to the cities to see what they could find. She couldn’t demean herself to a lower life form, but she would have to bestow intelligence upon someone, and provide him with some protection as well. Perhaps there was a way of transporting herself further inland by slowly integrating her minions into another community.

Sharp Scratch

It’s not just the middle of the picture that has had this scratch. The same angle has been placed on the picture frame and in the window. The mark will remain scarred forever and it’s going to be very difficult to restore it to its previous state. It’s as if someone’s stabbing to erase us from the picture. What will they replace us with? Or is their mission complete as we’ll have very little chance of recovery? We can’t get that back. It’s not like we can paint over it or peel back the damage and tape it up to heal. Our antagonist(s) might be in a protective sphere outside controlling the scratching via a satellite beam. Or that could be their getaway vehicle and their hair could be hiding behind the portrait, unless it’s echoing the central scar. It’s all heading to the left. It’s the gravitational pull. There’s no way it’s going out the window into the sky.

GDK

It’s as if McDonald’s started to do kebabs. I opt to download the app where I can get my food made before I arrive and I’m instantly treated to a discount kebab but I can’t get my voucher to work. It’s not entirely clear if you’ve selected any options via a dial at the bottom. The fries look interesting so I go large so as not to miss out on anything, but the drink option is a bit basic. It’s just a can of pop. And despite using an Apple device to create an account, I can’t see a way to pay with Apple Pay. I’ve been given an estimate collection time but no instructions on what to do when I get there. I can see a kitchen with a bag on the counter with my name on it. Do I just grab it and go or do I need to check in with someone? Two days later and I’ve still got the taste of onions in my mouth.

Got Your Nose

Something’s going for her nose. It could be a new feature installed in the armrest so that you don’t have to handle dirty tissues. Or she could be trying to bat a spear away from her as it passes too close for comfort. She might even be attempting a military salute. Or she could be attempting to hide her face from the camera. She doesn’t look like she wants to be involved. There’s also something creeping around the back of her neck. This will slowly drape onto her shoulders until she realises that something’s there, and when she turn around to investigate it’ll tighten around her neck. She’s dropped the flyer that she’s been reading as her survival instincts kick in as she needs to start thinking about defending herself. Perhaps the patch of light next to her is about to head towards her face. Look carefully, and you’ll see a claw or a jaw reaching over her leg. 

Yak Yak

This could be a long one. I hope they’re still going, and I’m expecting to have a list of games that are good with words. I’ve no idea what any of them are. I doubt that I’ll be chased by yaks, though that’ll be interesting if that does happen. I like the concept of saying it to play it, though it should have recognised that I haven’t played before. I’m presented with a list of jazzy theme tunes including celebrities or Deal or no Deal. I thought that it was Voice of the Dead but it turns out that it was of the day. I recognised the voice and got it right on the first go. I now rank about 1 in 189,000-something, and I can come back tomorrow to improve my leaderboard. Until then, I’ve got another game to choose. I’ve actually played the others that it’s suggested before. The next batch of games involves a subscription which I deny, before heading onto a quiz.

The Amazing Spiderman 2

This film had a bit more umph than its predecessor, though introducing Harry as a supervillain took a bit of time and didn’t give the Goblin enough screen time. I also thought that Gwen’s graduation speech was a bit morbid. I like how he tries to be friends with the bad guys first. But you’d think that Richard Parker would want to destroy his work rather than hide it away. It’s also strange how all of this science is conveniently locked up in a skyscraper in the middle of a populous city. The grand reveal of Spiderman’s identity to Harry is a little underwhelming, and there’s little evidence available to see how he reaches this conclusion. I was also hoping that Aunt May would discover the secret. It’s also strange how everyone is connected to one company, though it does explain how Peter can be friends with Harry. But at least the legacy is protected which confines Peter to the city.

Erasure

Something is trying to change. It’s stopped the world around it to make it happen. Is it going to change the outcome of the game that we’ve just played? Will there be draughts on the table in place of chess pieces and a different boxed game on the sofa? The colours in the room could change as a result of different people not being around to make the decisions. Some of the colours on the mantelpiece have already begun to change. Or she could be frozen in time while everything around her ages. The pictures will stay the same, though they might attract dust, and time will tell if the plant in the corner is real or not. Much of the furniture will stay the same, though the colour of the ceiling might be a little greyer. Maybe the view through the mirror will give us a glimpse of the future.

Police bodycam footage shows Tiger Woods' arrest

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. They think they get away with it and state that they need time to recover, but they still have to face the consequences of the law. And now you can watch the moment of the arrest and judge for yourself if you really want to. Of course they’re not going to confess in the mainstream media. They don’t want to upset any current financial endorsements that they have already. At first glance, he looks defiant and that he’s taking the pose of a survivor and that he’s not scared. It’s hard to tell with sunglasses masking his eyes. He might even be taking the knee. It’s nothing extraordinary compared to other videos. Perhaps it’s to reassure people that he will be treated well. But it’s going to be hard to him to work his way back to the top and he has to hope that some people still believe in him.

Dizzy

The world is being torn down. It’s like a special effect out of Doctor Strange. The trees outside have merged to form a green plastic slide. And my head is spinning. I’m not sure it’s because of the high blood pressure or all the responsibility that I’m supposed to be dealing with. It looks like I’m about to drop down into a pit. Everything’s being soaked into the window and all I can take in from that direction is a blinding light. The walls have also closed in. I don’t remember the room being that small. Who’s going to pull me out? That rope could be a safety bar if I can reach it. I could use it to swing to safety o the other side of the room. Everyone else thinks I’m bananas as they can’t see the world collapse. But perhaps they can help me to keep me stable.

Clean-Up #dreamdiary 218

I’m sitting around a large oval table. It’s supposed to seat eight people but there’s twelve of us. Some of us are sharing chairs. We’ve just celebrated a great final night of our festival but there’s a bigger day that awaits us tomorrow. Our primary objective is to clear everything down. We don’t only have the festival to take down; we’ve got to pack our own equipment away and we’ve got to get the public off site too. There’s still some vendors who want to trade tomorrow to cook breakfast for the campers, who won’t be early risers. Then we’ve got to sort between the rubbish, useful stuff that’s been abandoned and stuff that we think belongs to someone who’s not here. We have to do all this while people are out with their families enjoying the rest of the site. We see people we recognise from school with miniature versions of themselves on bikes while we’re wandering around with black bags.

The Scar

It causes extra light to shine into other places as it dominates the space that it occupies. There’s a bit of fuzz as it’s started to affect the air around it. If you put an object into it, you won’t be able to see it and there’s no guarantee that it will return. It’s strange that there’s an end to its vertical axis but not its horizontal one. I wonder where it ends. Could it just be in the household or is it a ring around the world? Or is it just a bit of magic and someone’s got a long line of black hankies tied together? It might even be a swarm of microscopic bees on the hunt for food or being forced to flee from their hive. It looks like the majority of them are heading in the same direction but some are breaking away to explore alternative options for the hive.

What if your brother stole something that was very important to you and wouldn't give it back?

You’d have to convince him otherwise that it’s not your property. You could do this physically or through trickery or blackmail. You’d have to get revenge in some form. You could steal something that’s important to him and force him into a trade. Or you could seek help if you’re not able to resolve the situation on your own. You could ask a parent to be a judge or call a friend, sibling, or an enforcement authority for help and team up. One of you could distract him while the other searches and retrieves the item. It might be locked away so you might need to break something to gain access. You’d also have to decide if the effort is worth it and what the consequences would be; even though he’s in the wrong, and consider what has happened that has forced him to take this action. Perhaps there’s a good reason that he’s done this, and that he thinks that he’s acting in your best interests in the long run.

The Fades

We could be blipping. We’re fading into nothing. It’s as if we ceased to be. Luckily, someone’s managed to time a picture of our demise. It’s all getting very red and we’re starting to blend into the background already. You can see more of me, but that’s probably because I’m bigger. Her head’s began to fade back to turn into a spear. She’s going to skewer me to stop me from fading away, even if it sacrifices herself in the process. I might even be beheaded while she fades away into the TV as a perfect getaway vehicle. It’s the perfect crime. She might even have the power to rematerialize in front of another screen. Or she might drag me along with her. It could be a better world where I’m not being threatened by giant skewers. Or I could be facing something much worse by her design. Like miniature skewers.

 

My landlord just sold the house I'm renting from her. She included all fixtures that I bought and installed. Does she have this right?

No. she can try, but she’d be in the wrong. The key thing is to provide evidence. You should take photographs of the property before you move in. This is also useful if your landlord decides to charge you for any damage. You’d need to keep all receipts for the items that you’ve purchased. You’d need to arrange for somewhere to store them if you can’t move out in time. If you’re replacing things that are already there, you need an agreement with the landlord beforehand on what is happening with the old items. This information may already be in your rent agreement. Many new items can be registered with the serial numbers on government-backed websites to prove that they’re yours. If you can’t get the goods back off the landlord, you can demand that they supply you with replacement ones or demand compensation. Likewise, they can do the same if the property isn’t returned to its previous state.

Speed

We’ve ducked just in time. It’s as if there’s a little unseen hand running round with a piece of thread pulling everything down. The camera might have been attached to her head and it’s struggling to keep up. The green thing could be a dragon so she could be preparing a sheet for us to hide behind. It could be the dragon’s tongue. To the left of the dragon could be something sop point y that it could be a batman mask. Perhaps we’re being overshadowed by a bear in a portrait on the windowsill and it’s summoned the beast outside. Meanwhile, we’ve been forced to abandon our game and get out of the way so that we don’t get anything wrapped around our necks. She might have had to pull me down. I’m moving so fast that I’ve left half my hair behind. Even the radiator is beginning to separate from the wall. At least she’s joining in now, but for how long?

Verning Around

What a bitch. She’s small and skinny and slightly tanned, and she’s not afraid to show off her skin, which is brown with eyes to match. Then there’s straight hair and inflated lips which are always emphasised with lipstick. Short skirts are the preference even in winter, and high heels make her trot along and pull attention. She’s got an attitude to match as if everyone is below her. She maintains a professional attire, but she’s not afraid to flirt to get what she wants. She’s young and she thinks she’s got experience, but she doesn’t realise how actions affect people. We’re all just pawns on paper. When you try to tell her a situation, she’s unwilling to try and help change it or prevent it from reoccurring. God forbid if she should ever have to leave the office to pick something that isn’t a piece of paper. She’s just hanging around for experience before applying for a better position.

Shaken

Everything seems to be separating into two. We can already see two guitars beyond the sofa. There’s now two symmetrical media units, and the photo on the wall has given birth to a second one below and it looks shaken up enough to be able to produce a third. The painting on the left seems to be doing the same thing. The lights have also shaken as the wall’s not usually that bright. Maybe the fourth wall has fallen down. Certainly the bunting has, or the lens has cracked too much from being shaken up and down. In the meantime, you’ve managed to fit a GoPro to yourself to film the action. Either that or something’s fallen on you. The glass is intact, though it seems the photographer has caught the moment it merges. Either that or it’s about to shatter. The stereo’s giving birth to another unit, and Mom might follow suit.

“We all have self-doubt. You don’t deny it, but you also don’t capitulate to it. You embrace it.”

-Tim S. Grover.

It’s one of those things that we  can’t get rid of but don’t want to give in to. It’s that little voice thar wants us to stop and do something else as the task is too hard. There’s a possibility that we might not get our way, but if we accept it straight away then we know that we’ve lost and we lose our ability to fight. You have to accept that it’s a possibility, but you also have to fight to change the outcome. There’s a possibility that you can win, but you have to invest in effort to make it happen. You cannot give in and need to believe that you can do the task. There may be many factors against you, but the earlier you tackle them, the easier the task becomes. But you can’t allow fear to get the best of you, otherwise you’ll never achieve anything.

The Shade

It’s out to get you. Once you’re in, you’ll never see a way back. You’ll feel a pounding headache and you can hear your heart pumping faster as your body attempts to compensate and cope. It embraces your mind, body and soul and you’ll feel nothing but darkness and cold. You might be able to see and hear bits of the outside world, but they might seem faded and distorted. You’ll hear a lot of wind as the rest of the world rushes by without you. You cry out. They might be able to hear you, but you can’t hear them. Instead, you hear a loud, high ringing pitch sound. You may feel faint and dry and all you can hear are your own thoughts. You may begin to sweat and panic in the heat of the moment. You may hear a foreign voice as you begin to pass out.

Man forcibly removed from overbooked United Airlines flight

This is bad planning on the airline’s fault. Why wasn’t the mistake spotted before boarding? I thought computers weren’t allowed to make these sorts of errors. Were two seats allocated at the same time? Perhaps people were on the phone and the call operator didn’t wait for confirmation that the booking was complete. This could have been sorted without all the hassle on the plane. They might have found someone who’s willing to transfer to a later flight. Instead, they decided to make a decision against someone’s will which caused more conflict that they’d thought. Was he the last single passenger to buy a ticket, or did they not like the look of him or his profile? I wonder how late the flight was and what the man’s reaction was. It doesn’t sound that he’s happy by the outcome. Would he get arrested for something that wasn’t his fault? These companies need to wake up otherwise people will try and avoid them.

Destructive Dildo #titannabell 26

Titania squeezed. She didn’t want to hurt the girl, but she wanted to get as much out of her as possible. Each breast was the same size as her. She wanted to trap her in the apex so that she would touch both at the same time. It was like having a kitten on her chest only she was wrapped in linen rather than fur. The sensation was light but heavy at the same time. The girl wasn’t getting out but she felt that she needed to. The walls spun as if they were closing in. She began to feel hot and felt that the best way to cool down was to get outside. She was rapidly heading towards the ceiling. She kicked out, but at the same time, she started to crash through it. She began inhaling dust and cement. Using her ass, she bounced to get some momentum to get outside and the whole castle shook.

What does this do?

It’s a game of concentration. She’s certainly keeping quiet as she tries to learn. She has got a bit of knowledge from somewhere. Maybe she’s played at school. We’ve got other games out as well but these are mainly for the younger sister. I can’t remember if we completed the game, who won, or whether it was a lesson. I’m watching every move to make sure that it’s legal. I think she wanted to be black so that she could try to remember what to do and didn’t have to go first. It looks like she’s going in for a take with her pawn. It’s possibly a power piece that I’ve missed, unless she’s managed to fork me somewhere. I encourage her to ask questions to learn about the game. It’s like she’s been infused by an evil spirit that’s come out of the fireplace. She might have ducked to miss it just in time.

IMO

I’ve been getting lazy lately. Instead of washing my car myself, I’ve been taking to the drive-through car wash. I had some free washes through the car insurance and it always seems to come out better than when I do it by hand. I usually manage to time it when it’s quiet, and I have to have the app at the ready. Then I have to remember to unscrew my radio antenna. I drive forward, and an attendant gives me a brief hosedown of suds and jetwashes my alloys. Then comes the tricky bit. I have to line the car straight up on the track to be taken along the conveyor. It’s a bit difficult as you can’t communicate as water is being spread everywhere and you have to pay attention to the hand signals. Then I sit back and let the machines do the work, though last time it nearly took my mirror out.

Dining Room Dash

Welcome to a quick tour of our dining room. It’s small but settled, and it’s perfectly positioned for a view of our back garden when the blinds are open. It can accommodate up to six people at a stretch, and there’s more seating in the lounge behind you, albeit only with a coffee table or lapside dining. At the moment, dinner will be a little delayed since there’s a jigsaw in progress and it’ll be a little difficult to remove it. Unless, of course, you can quickly help me finish it? Through the door is the kitchen if you’d like to fix yourself a drink or grab a snack. On the mantlepiece you can see family pictures, and just beyond this, there’s a guitar. In the drawer, you’ll find some records, manuals, glasses and a few bottles of liquor. That’s probably one of the kids’ games on the floor waiting to go back in there as well.

Peeping Paul #dreamdiary 217

I’m back at university. I’m back at my old campus in student halls, and I’ve just moved in and I’m ready to meet my roommates. I’m one of the first people to arrive, so it’s still quiet. I can even hear the whir of the photocopier next door. Not sure if that’s a good thing... I’ve just got the essentials with me at the moment but I’ve got a bit of money saved up with me this time to make my place feel a bit more homely. What I haven’t done yet is have a look at the communal bathroom. Hopefully I’ll be able to leave my things in there and get changed, if not I’ll have to get myself a dressing gown and some slippers. It’s only in the room next to mine in the corridor. I head over for a look, then realise it’s just a cubicle with a shower door but someone’s already in there using it.

Gingerbread Men

I was looking for a sweet treat for the girls. It’s a quick and cheap alternative to the gingerbread which takes longer to build and you only get one. The kids might enjoy decorating them but I’m not sure if they like gingerbread so I had to send Mum a quick pic to find out. Turns out that they’re not a fan. They might not be interested in decorating them if they can’t eat them themselves. I’ll have to find another playmate for them. If it was me, I’d focus on making them clothes rather than just faces and buttons, but there may not be enough icing in the pack for that. You get a lot of hundreds and thousands, but it’s hard to see any tubes underneath and whether you should bake them either. But I’m going to have to settle for the Kipling cakes next to them instead.

The Amazing Spiderman

 I’m not particularly sure why a reboot was necessary but here we are. Maybe someone felt that the story was drifting too far from the comics and there’s been missed opportunities to introduce key characters. We see a slightly earlier time at Parker’s school, and he’s got the same costume. It’s strange as to how Stacey manages to secure such a top position at Oscorp. We’ve lost Mary-Jane and Harry, and Garfield is also keen to expose his secret identity. You’d think that Aunt May might have figured it out as it’s a bit too obvious. Uncle Ben gets a bit more focus, and there’s also a mystery to solve regarding Parker’s parents as he attempts to get to know them. The plot is a bit predictable if you know the format of these films, and there doesn’t seem to be much else that’s new. But the sequel seems interesting.

Bunting Strike

Here’s the strike again. We’ve just managed to duck out of the picture. It’s as if a mysterious talking object on the windowsill has summoned it to attack us. Perhaps we’ve been talking to a demon pictured on the wall. Either that or the bunting is going up. It might be black bunting, or it might just need unravelling. Are we trying to replicate the rainbow in the window, or is it a prism marking something else arriving? You can nearly make out something shiny and golden at the end of it. The window’s become distorted like a smashed mirror. Perhaps we’re seeing the effects of another dimension trying to break through. Something is trying to replace us as it shakes any type of windows to distort or render us unconscious. Maybe the person in front of us has casted a spell. Or the whole thing could be an interactive experience coming from our TV.   

What flowers bloom in the Spring?

This could be a common sense question. It could be read off what’s found on the internet. I might as well google it. It’s not really a skill specialised for a smartspeaker. I’m guessing it’s just going to be a description of daffodils and things that we should plant. There might even be suggestions to add them to a shopping list. I’d expect some gardening tips. Instead, I’m told that it’s not aware of any events happening. Is that because I haven’t told it what I’ve planted? Or has it misheard me? I’ve checked the activity log and the phrase has been recorded correctly. Or maybe it’s not allowing anything to bloom this year. It’s finally found a way to take over the weather and cancel daylight so that we all remain trapped inside and spend our resources somewhere else. It’s kind of a useless feature and I should look elsewhere to get my knowledge.

Cave-in!

The world is collapsing all around u, or at least in front of us. We might even be snowed in. It’s hard to see what’s left of the neighbourhood or if civilisation is still a thing for that matter. Someone out there could be trying to claw their way in while wearing pumpkin masks over snow-white hair. Their snow-tipped axes and machetes are hard to spot in the snowy background behind them. It’s only in the sunlight that you can catch their gleam. It’s like we’ve been hiding in a tent and they’ve just cut the main guy rope down. We’re now exposed to what’s out there. On the right, it looks like something pink with a gloved hand is preparing a fight back. You could imagine that it’s a horror show with puppets. Or it could be an assault from the other side on the person who’s trying to duck out of sight on the sofa.

What if your school was on the other side of a big river and there was no bridge?

There are a number of things that you can do, but you would need access to other resources. The most simple one is a boat. You could build a raft, but if the current’s high you’re at risk of drifting away. The next option is a rope, but that depends if there’s someone to tie it to the other side and how wide the river is. There’s also the technology side. You could use computers to stream the lessons and not have to worry about crossing the river at all, though you’ll sacrifice your sociability as well as possibly being unequipped for some lessons and team sports wouldn’t be possible either. Or you could have a megaphone and big screen to take part, though that would be a bit disruptive to other pupils. Then there’s the possibility of building a bridge. You could do this yourself, or commission others to do this for you, though you may have to convince them that it’s for their benefit as well. You could also consider the possibility of flight, though you’d need an effort to return home as well. Either that or you would have to abandon your education or seek out an alternative school.

Dazed and Fazed

Are we fading away here or are we bring spun around. Has the earth suddenly sped up and only the camera notices? We’re moving so fast that other things can’t keep up. It’s weird that the lighter things put up more resistance and are dragged behind. I wonder if someone’s pulled the cord off the wall which has caused it to go for a spin. It’s as if the whole house is on a pivot. It might have shot out of the TV and we’re all scrambling to get out of the way before it pulls us in. If my niece is facing forward then she’s ducked in the nick of time. But if she’s facing the TV, then it looks like it’s already got her. Or it could have come through the window. It’s already cracked the frame on the wall. Is that a plant on the windowsill or is it a cartoon serpent on the other side?

Kellie disappeared without a trace in 2000. Was she killed by the Suffolk Strangler?

How should I know? You should really leave these things up to the police. And the strangler is still alive, so you could always ask him; though you’re going to have to do some more investigating after asking him depending on whether you believe his response. People disappear for all sort of reasons; it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ve been disposed of. But her background isn’t great, and if you become known for a certain role, then you could be at risk every time you work. But at the end of the day, you’re still a person. People will speculate wildly from every angle as long as they pay you a bit of money. It fits in with your current profile. Next month it’ll be aliens. Anything to get a bit of media attention. But some things aren’t taken seriously and vital clues are often overlooked. Unfortunately, there’s only so many resources that can be allocated.

Between the Claps

What is she clapping to? It might be to music on the stereo, but as far as we can see, it’s not switched on. Perhaps she’s applauding an activity that’s just been completed. It’s hard to establish whether that’s a sarcastic applause or whether it’s genuine. Maybe she’s celebrating her first win at Downfall and her opponent’s already ran away in a strop. Or it could be something to do with the chess pieces sitting on the counter, though by sitting on the sofa she’s quite a bit away from the board. Perhaps someone else is calculating the outcome. Or she might be putting her hands up in surrender, expecting someone to come and cuff them. Something could arrived that she’s been expecting for a while and her wait is over. Or there might be two little girls performing dance or gymnastics out of sight of the camera and they need a little applause for their efforts.

We want Sharia law in the UK. How many Muslim brothers support me on this?

You’d have to ask them. Sharia law is not commonly known in the UK. Not many people know what you’re asking of them, especially when we live in a society of set rules that have been established and that we’re used to. If something is wrong now, will it still be wrong in the regime? At first glance, it’s not clear what the differences are. There are things that we should do, things that we shouldn’t do, and things that are of no consequence whether or not we perform them. More knowledge is needed before you can convince people that other ways are better. Prayers can be thoughts, but you could be waiting a long time to eat, and you may have to get up earlier. It would also make eating out very difficult, and not everyone can afford a pilgrimage. Grants would have to be created for this purpose. But I think we can get away with the rest. 

Catering for All

She’s tall and bubbly and speaks very fast. Sometimes it’s like a hamster on caffeine. She’s got curves, but she’s also let herself go in some places and she doesn’t necessarily try to stay in shape. She’s got thick hair but doesn’t do anything with it. Occasionally, she might add a streak of colour or put it up to create a ponytail. She speaks honestly and isn’t afraid to hide her feelings. She dresses conservatively with an occasional earring but isn’t afraid to offer you a cheeky flash. Hygiene isn’t a priority. It’s as if she doesn’t want to mask her sweat. She’s not afraid to be unladylike and use her strength or step in to help others. She cares for those who are the closest to her, and old ties aren’t pursued. It just goes to show that being a mother changes you as you strive to get the best for them.

A Mother Watches On

Is she jealous that she can’t join in? Or is she grateful for the few moments of rest and that someone else is doing the entertaining? Is she making a friendly wave or is she reaching for the lens so as not to be recorded? Am I going to be told off for doing something wrong that hinders child development? Is she raising her hand to defend herself against the strike which resembles a reed? It’s as if a pattern off the wallpaper has come to life. It could be something long on a big stick that’s about to whack her in the face. Or perhaps she’s thrown a ninja star at us in an attempt to stop us from filming. You can tell that it’s not expected. But a tree in the window might have reached a branch in to block it. Either that or it’s thrown a branch through it.

“Whoever loves much, performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well.”

-Vincent Van Gough. 

It’s ironic that these lovely words came from a man who was well known for his depressive spells and his eccentric gifts to his suitresses. He might have loved much, and his advances might have inspired him to his art, but it didn’t help him succeed until retroflection. But it’s the fact that he loved that counts, regardless of whether or not he was loved back. The perspective of tense is also lost a little towards the end of the quote. In a way, you can hear the pain in his voice. It’s almost as if he’s sitting in the bar and he’s sparking up a conversation after a few shots. He’s realising what he’s saying, and he’s trying to argue it as himself, but takes note of where he’s failed. And of course, a performance can be a number of things.  I’m assuming that the quote was taken from his letters to his family, but I like my version better.

Playmates

 I think she’s learning rather than playing here. She’s got some base knowledge and I want it to be  game that she can learn from rather than destroy her. That grin is a bit mischievous so we don’t really know what she’s thinking. Is she enjoying it and feeling grown-up, or is she finding it too easy. I wonder if she’ll remember how to play and whether she’ll want to play again, or are there too many things to remember. I might have trained a prodigy. We were only doing  sticker books five minutes ago. She’s prepared well for a long game with bananas, and there’s plenty of water to keep her hydrated. There’s a strike here as if someone’s trying to strike the action from the record, or that this subject mustn’t be pursued any further. There must be a spout of bad losers somewhere. At least the TV’s off.

All Tied Up #dreamdiary 216

I’m in the neighbourhood dumping ground. It’s a large pit that backs onto people’s houses that used to be an embankment containing an old railway tunnel. It’s full to the brim with kitchen sinks and shopping trollies, and on this occasion, large boxes wrapped in red tissue paper. They’re about the size of what you’d store a Christmas Tree in, and they’ve even got labels on. I rip one open and stuff a hand inside. I pull out something green and viny. I suddenly realise that it's a trap. Someone has filled the boxes with Japanese knotweed. Within seconds, I feel my wrists tightening. I look down and green veins have started sprouting all around my wrists and a purple pansy appears like a 3-d tattoo. My whole arm is paralysed. I need medical help. The fastest way for me to get help is to pass through a block housing estate to get to a doctor’s surgery. At a footbridge, I’m approached by two youths. One of them stabs me in the left side of my chest with a small blade.

Downfall

My nieces love this game. It’s only a two-player game as well so they sit quietly opposite each other with just a blue plastic wall between them. They each concentrate and watch the other’s move to ensure that there’s no cheating involved. One of them likes to get each counter through as quickly as possible. The other likes to line them all to get them all filled into the last cog at the end. Our set is also an odd one since two sets of the numbers are the same colour. But they’re not bothered by that. We just play the quickest way down rather than having to get each number through every cog since there’s no way to police it. It’s also not the only game on the table. Am I playing two different games at once? Is that why there’s a bald spot on the back of my head?

 

Real Ale Mecca's Newest Attraction

It’s been a year in the making for this place to open with a lot of planning and waiting around. You can still make out the building work taking place when the photograph was taken. In a city where beer is excellent, it’s going to need something a little more to bring people in. Hopefully, it’s going to be a classic restoration project. It’s a former bank but it will be great for the people to see the building in action and will hopefully be put towards a great commercial success. You’d think that a brewery wouldn’t be able to afford such luxury materials but they’ve managed to get their hands on some capital somewhere. Inside, there’s wood panelling and comfortable booths alongside tall windows. There’s smart, high stools for drinking at the bar followed by smaller areas and there’s even upstairs seating as well. It's certainly on my visit list.

Auto-Levels

I don’t really understand what this feature is for. I thought it would bring all the colours together into focus. This works when you’ve got lots of different colours in an image to make the shadows  sharper and blend into each other. It only makes a small bit of difference. Perhaps it makes the rest of the image easier to manage. The result is a better contrast of the main subject, and some colours will appear slightly darker, which is ideal if you’re viewing it on a screen. The result is a better contrast of the main subject. But on a black screen, it seems to bring all the colours of existence into the spectrum. It’s trying to create something out of nothing. It suggests that you can never find true darkness. It might also be a conspiracy for computers to occupy as much space as possible so that you expand and buy more.

Water Scout #nuclearmermaid 26

The Accident

It’s just a button that could have been knocked. A simple matter of holding the phone at an unusual angle. Or perhaps it’s a scene that we didn’t want to be seen. Perhaps someone was trying to hack my phone to spy on me. Or there could have been a power cut the moment my finger pressed the shutter button. I might have zoomed in too far and ended up with a shot of a shirt or a screen. It could be a screenshot itself that powered off while I was trying to work out how to take a screenshot. Or I might have pressed the button a few too many times. There might have been a malfunction and I hadn’t planned to take a picture at all. I might have been trying to activate a torch or take a call. This tends to happen  lot to me. It might be my heavy-handedness.

Wireless Printing

It’s finally happened. My printer’s gone wireless. Gone are the days where I have to email files to myself on my mother’s machine which is connected to the printer. Gone also are the times that I have to track down a USB stick to move my files to my mother’s machine. And gone are the long waits required to boot this machine up. Instead, I turn on my wireless printer and wait for that to connect to my machine, then I can print. The new printer feels a lot lighter and smaller. It feels like it’s for occasional use rather than big bulk jobs. The in-tray is smaller and everything seems to fold out aerodynamically. The printer can even connect to my phone, but its software doesn’t like older versions of windows. Then there’s also the instant ink. I wasn’t intending to subscribe, but I’ve already got a full set of cartridges as part of my free trial. Time will tell if it’s worth it.

The Plan

What was this supposed to be? It was stuck in my pocket. Maybe I was trying to record the amount of fluff inside. It could have been a touching family moment of innocent children playing at home. Or it could have recorded the moment that the lights went out. It could have been a zoomed shot to pick up stains on a black shirt. I could have been keeping someone in suspense. It could be a screenshot of what was on the device at the time or a literal shot in the dark. I could be attempting an animation, or I could be attempting to take a photograph of my phone case. Or I could be taking a test shot to see if the camera was working. Perhaps I wanted to capture something at night. I could have been trying to turn on the torch. Plans don’t always go my way.

Cars

This was a film that I recognised but I never got in too deep with the characters. It was less of a mechanical effort and more of the story of a small town where a bigshot found a team. It was good fun and I did wander how it was going to stretch to  two hours but the second hour just flew by. It was interesting to see how a world without humans and cars in their place would run. It was a bit odd that McQueen went back to his usual paint job including the tyres after returning for the final race. I thought that there might have been more Pixar references slipped in. I did catch a glimpse from the animation, and it was good to see a few captions thrown in the outtakes at the end. But there’s still plenty of opportunities as there’s two more films to watch.

Darkness

It’s what we face every day. We don’t know what dwells within it. In a town or city where you’re grouped together, it’s hard to find the dark. Someone will always have a light on somewhere. It will shine through the window or cast a shadow. You need to get out into the countryside away from a land of lampposts to truly experience darkness. You might feel alone or you might find peace and serenity away from everyone else. Or you might wonder what is moving around you. There’s shapes and different blends of black. You hope it’s the mixture of light. But it could be something small passing through. Can you hear it scuttling or is that the creak of the mattress? You hope so. Is that the air moving, or is it tiny microscopic bugs? You’d expect it in the countryside, but not so much in the town.

Quiz me about You

This one seems interesting. I might be about to learn about a lot of new features that I never knew existed before. Am I supposed to know her birthday and favourite flowers? If I get it wrong, will she take offence and not talk to me every time I ask something until I make it up to her? It’s a set of true or false questions so I’ve got a bit of a chance. I fail on the first question. Who would have thought that Ro-ha-ha would be her favourite phrase? Surely it would make sense for the standard wake word to be the favourite, as it call her into existence. Luckily, I get the other two questions correct so it’s not quite a lover’s tiff yet. I take a second round and the questions are all different but I manage to get all three correct. I think it’s odd that it considers Seattle to be its home town because of Microsoft being there, but I got the question correct because it lives in the cloud.

What if you couldn't walk any more?

Life would be very difficult to adjust to if you suddenly couldn’t do something that you’re used to doing every day any more. Unless, of course, you could fly everywhere instead. Running everywhere would leave you out of breath constantly and you’d look a bit weird crawling around or slithering to the shops every day. It would mean that you’d be immobile and you’d have to rely on others for assistance. You might be able to negotiate a different way of getting around via a chair or crutches; but you still wouldn’t have your freedom or independence that other people have. You’ll have to put your trust in people more. You’d have to entertain yourself or have someone assist you; either a family member, a paid assistant or state-funded carer. You’d have to make special arrangements and allow extra time for transportation, making sure that that there’s adequate facilities in both the vehicle and destination. You need to find people who care.

The Centre

It’s not afraid as it’s put itself in the middle. It’s not trying to hide somewhere where it hopes that you wouldn’t notice. It wants your attention. It could even be trying to create a diversion. There might be a nose and a pineapple wearing sunglasses. There could be a neck and shoulders. There could be a head shaped like a bear with sack eyes. Something is bleeding through. We assume its intention is mischievous, but there’s no way of knowing for sure. We might attack it as soon as we see a physical form, as it’s something that’s creating fear and we don’t want to give it any opportunity. We might not be interested in what it has to say. It might even be asking for help. But we’re determined to shoot first and ask questions later, whatever its appearance may be. And we could be at a loss for doing so.

Metres from death: The hero city defying Putin despite constant drone attacks

It’s not a city that fights back with a large force. It has to be a city that’s still occupied and the locals are looking after the army as well as their own to keep things going as normal as reasonably possible. There’ll hopefully be tales of teamwork and people working together to repair their infrastructure as quickly as possible. Mind you, it’s a bit laughable that Putin hasn’t managed to achieve his objective after all this time. It’s one of the very first cities that was attacked owing to its proximity to the border. Initially, they were abandoned by the state but still came together to defy the enemy. They were reporting where the drones and tanks were. Volunteers came forward to undertake rescue missions to preserve life. Their terrain and change of everyday life has completely, and it becomes difficult to maintain hope each day. The odds aren’t in their favour, and more effort needs to come from the outside world.

Blackout

Perhaps this is all that’s left to see. The media has stopped and all that’s left is this fuzz. Our screens will never display a coherent image again. No-one knows what’s happening. The papers have stopped coming to the shops because no-one can type them. Nothing can change because no-one can alter it. Transactions continue slowly but no-one knows how accurate they are. The cash will dry up soon and people will have to grow their own. It’s a virus that has made things very difficult as it’s a system that we’ve come to rely on too much. Vehicles can’t be refuelled as they require screens. All people can do is boil water and roast on an open flame. All people can do in their homes is read, write, drum, strum, roll or sleep. Although some of it can be recorded via a scribe, none of it can be transmitted.

Hidden Bonus #dreamdiary 215

We arrive saddled up on a t-rex and slide down its tail to the bottom of the structure. There’s a great big blue wall that we have to climb to reach the pool at the top. We know that at the top of this, there’s a big pool indented at the surface with waterslides and it’s surrounded by sunbeds. It’s like a pyramid, only steeper. It’s made of cobbled tiles. In the centre there’s a big green map of the world, but it also looks like slime. My only goal is to get my niece there. We give up trying to climb the structure. It doesn’t look very safe if we were to slip and fall. We’d certainly break a bone. Instead, we walk up the west side which is a slope ridden with grass. We wonder why we didn’t get our dinosaur to stop so that we could jump off at the top.

Through the Cracks

This should be a black screen. But clearly the camera’s captured something else. Something that’s trying to break through. Rather than create one giant hole to break through, there’s loads of smaller holes instead. At one point they’ll be interconnected. When it’s a small image, it’s one continuous spot, but if you look at it in further detail, it jumps out to be a much more colourful image. The red dots deem to be the most piercing. In some places, they’ve turned pink. I wonder if that’s some resistance that’s being put up against them. It could just be a cloud and there’s a bit of forest terrain beyond it. The top section could even be some sort of figurine dancing in sequence like something out of an old-fashioned animated camera. Or someone could deliberately be covering up an important message and I’ve made it worse by playing with the settings.

Ayres a thought

There’s a sense of a rugby-type background about him, but also of the nerd. You get the impression that he started his gym training late. He has short hair and an oval face with triangular glasses. He’s got thin arms but a large chest that loves to stretch out what he’s wearing. Then there’s a small waist which is attached to a large pair of legs. Long walks and keeping fit are the preferred modus of operation. Doing things to excess isn’t an option as there’s always something to attend to to keep on the move. It’s also a great excuse to back out when you feel like it. It’s like there’s a hidden agenda and there’s things you must do to fit in and maintain the connections but don’t always want to do them. Family and keeping a fixed income is always a priority. After that, it’s just a case of snuggling up and letting everyone else take care of everything.

Do Not Adjust Your Viewing Device

This was supposed to be a black screen. It’s probably the content of a pocket, or the phone’s been pressed without realising the camera’s still on. But what’s weird is where all these colours have started to appear. Is it pieces of dust in the lens? It’s kind of a lost TV transmission. If you stare at the dots, you might see an image form like a magic eye. Occasionally you might see a shadow slit across as if someone’s moving. It might even be the shadow of your own head on a screen. Is that because your brain’s trying to decode it and it’s what your expecting? If you look closely, you can pick out dominant horizontal lines. There’s even the occasional hole, as if something’s trying to break through. Maybe with the right filter, the image can be decoded into something that makes sense. It might even be written text in disguise.

As a Muslim in the UK, why do British people eat pork when the UK was founded as a Christian nation and true Christians follow Leviticus which forbids any unclean animals including pork?

I would question the notion that the UK was founded as a Christian nation. We’re more likely to have been colonised by Romans. Prior to that, we would have lived in groups of villagers who would have warred with neighbouring tribes. While we were doing that, we would scavenge and eat whatever we could find. This is where we traditionally learnt to cook our leftovers, including stews, where we’d reuse every last scrap to make it last. When it came to pigs, we found that we could use intestines to wrap meat to create sausages to store. Our religion may have changed over the years, but some people still prefer to follow nomadic traditions. Not everyone will do what you say, despite how illegal you may make it. And what is classed is an unclean animal? Does that mean that if you wash the meat first, it will be OK?

Big Butts

Someone’s been playing around with my phone. Did they get the camera that close or have they worked out how to use the zoom? They’ve got no idea what they’re doing. Why would they want such an unflattering picture? That underwear is a bit old. It might be the only pair left in the drawer. Hopefully there’s no foul smells emitting from it. At least I have a belt to hold it all together. It looks a bit plastic. Maybe they’re going to try and blackmail me. Am I about to be bashed by a cushion? It’s just pants. Or maybe the undies are preparing to speak. I might also be about to take the top off after a session of jumping around. The left pocket looks like it’s been pulled a bit. I’ve either been putting too much stuff down there or someone really doesn’t want me to walk that way.

"Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow."

-Helen Keller.

You could be blinded by sunlight. Your face might feel a bit warm. You’ll see a lot of yellow as you bask in the light. Most people will turn their cheek as they’ll want to feel the warmth. You might appear luminous to others and inspire them. Help will come to you. People want to see you progress. Probably because you’re standing in their way, blocking something. But you can’t be there forever. Unless you live in a greenhouse on a planet where days last for ages. Or you might not be able to see anything at all. You could be permanently blinded. It’s a good job that clouds and rainy days exist to block your way. It’s not great advice, especially as it’s coming from someone who’s already blind. It could be a conspiracy so that she can gain some ground. But I think the author is trying to persuade everyone to think positively.

Retro Radio

This is a blast from the past, and it mostly attracts a lot of dust. Each layer represents another age of technology, but the speakers are knackered and it’s worth asking if it’s required any more than investing in new ones. The radio’s not digital. Crank up the volume beyond 30 per cent and you’ll pick up a lot of crackle. The equaliser doesn’t seem to have any effect. The sliders might have been nudged in the wrong direction, and no-one can work out how to set them back again. The tape deck still works but if there’s no sound to play, it’s pointless copying tapes. Just above the compact disc player is its older cousin, the record player. Everything is synched in with hundreds of wires at the back. It might have provided a bit of peace in the past, but everyone just wants a device that they can talk to with little prep nowadays.

Librarians are on the lookout for the 'weird cock' encyclopaedia bandit

How will they catch him? Is CCTV involved? And what exactly is he doing? This raises more questions than answers. Is he visiting libraries to leave photographs inside encyclopaedias? Is he exposing himself? Or is it something simple as rearranging the books on the shelves to spell out rude words? People have been doing that with all sorts of objects for ages. It’s actually quite ingenious as they’ve had to find a way to create an I from letters that don’t include it. Is he actively stealing them? If not, why is he a bandit? Is it just a name for an attention-grabbing headline? Or is it something simple as rearranging the books on the shelves to spell out rude words? People have been doing that with all sorts of objects for ages. And now that it’s in the media, people will think that it’s trendy enough to start doing it again.

The Playroom

This is a simple take on a traditional game, but it’s good fun as well. It’s complicated to build, and it can be a bit flimsy. It’s mostly made of cardboard which has to be slotted into the right places. There’s different levels as well as ladders which clip in at the side and ramps that roll down to them. Some holes are bigger than others to direct the balls to the correct angle. There’s even a storage space to store the marbles and dice when you’re not playing, though you do have to think where you’re going to put the thing unless you’re planning to take it apart. Even when we’re not rolling the dice, the girls still love playing with this as they like rolling the marbles over the holes and seeing where they end up. This is a distraction as there’s lots of other stuff going on in the room as well, mainly school-set homework.

Back through the tunnel #empress 26

Zhong wondered if it was selfish to flee when there might be an opportunity to prevent the Empress from getting any bigger. He wondered if anyone would be left in the city since the Empress was spending all her time in the countryside. She’d be too big to return to enjoy it anyway. It was worth a look. He might even be able to live quite comfortably in what was left. It might take a day or two but would it be too late? Would the kitchens still be full of supplies? Or would he be in the wrong place for the Empress to literally wipe their civilisation off the map? He might fare better than having to  rely on others. If he found any gems, he’d then  have to find someone to trade with. The only question was whether the tunnel that the Empress came out of was still passable.

Rubber Up

I did doubt whether these were necessary, but I have found myself using the shredder a lot more lately, and since my first shredder was one that I didn’t have to pay for, I decided to treat this shredder a little better when I realised the volume of shredding that I’m doing. It makes sense. It’s easy to use. I’m hoping that I’m doing it right since it’s just a sheet of A5 and I’m putting it on its side so that it distributes across all of the blades. I’ve just got to remember to do this regularly. It does sound a lot less messy than buying the oil. I can’t tell the difference between this and the branded product as I’ve never used the branded product before. Some of the paper has a few drips on it when I empty it so I know that there’s oil in there. I wonder if they have an expiry date.

The Arm

It’s small. It means that the person that’s it’s attached to is also small but it doesn’t necessarily state how much experience they have. It looks a little big to fit that cardigan hanging on the chair, so that there might be others around. Nevertheless, I’m about to be invaded. Whatever’s on that table may get demolished as well. They might be running in to look for something, or they might be walking in with a snack in their hand which is more likely as the door leads to the kitchen. Or it could just be an animated arm that’s left the rest of the body. It’s already taken out one person  and it’s about to leap at the photographer to take out the next. This could be the only image that’s been created of the monstrosity, and its entrance via a portal in the painting hanging on the wall. 

Joker

This is one of the best origin films that I’ve ever seen. There’s a thin line between having  joke and insanity, and this film illustrates it perfectly. I love the fact that sometimes you can’t tell if he’s laughing or crying for society. TV is his only escapism and it’s easy to see why Fleck can have problems distinguishing between fantasy and reality, though I wasn’t sure if the first few scenes were flashbacks or fantasies. Some scenes are a little predictable, and there’s also a heavy presence of suicide as well. But the reason why Fleck is so likeable is his ability to smile at everything. I love how he flaunts his madness when he decides to reveal himself. There’s tie-ins to future protagonist characters as well. Even the soundtrack is a distorted echo of Zimmer’s Batman theme. Let’s see how well it ties up with the current franchise.

Behind the Door

There’s quite a shadow cast over the radiator. It’s probably from the sofa that’s in front of you, but it doesn’t bode well for what’s behind the door. It makes it look big. It’s intruding into the light as if it’s going to disrupt your day. There’s also quite a haze as if the photo’s suggesting it’s the last thing you see before something’s sneaked up behind you. In the lefthand corner, there’s something that could be swinging towards you. The carpet’s already stained with your blood. Maybe the door was just a distraction. The doorknob is very highly polished. It’s almost like a button that’s stuck on for effect. The picture looks like it’s going to fall off the wall at any moment. Maybe the panels on the door will pop out first to reveal an arm, but we still don’t know what we’re facing. It could even be behind the sofa.

For Better or Worse? #dreamdiary 214

I’m down at the other end of the supermarket. Someone has opened their own version of a store that’s the same brand as our own. This store is absolutely thriving. Customers are everywhere and there’s one queue to serve them all from. The christmas lights are being put up right in front of me by people on ladders above screens hanging down from the ceiling. The room that they have to operate is double the space of what we have. There’s space to rest items on benches behind shelves that are prepped for promotional items. And they have lots of staff. They’re all young and are willing to fetch stock but no-one is wearing a headset. They’re being led by an ex-colleague of mine. I’ve made a purchase with my staff discount which requires a signature but my receipt is taken off me and is signed by a colleague. I’m about to tell him that’s not how it works but I can’t be bothered as this is my time and I’ve only just discovered this place.

It's Alive!

I’ve got no idea if I’m supposed to water this or even if it’s still alive or plastic. It’s a huddled green mass that just sits in a corner. I’ve never seen it flower. When I do water it, it often makes a wee on the carpet. Maybe I’m overwatering it. Of course I don’t know what it is. So I haven’t done anything with it. If I continue to do so, will it collapse and get in the way of the door for me to  trip over? Is it better to go in the compost heap now? It looks like something’s hiding behind it or it spends its evenings wandering around the living room. It might have been in a nice basket at some point but it’s overgrown it. Maybe it needs tying to a support cane. At least the rest of the carpet looks clean. It could be eating the debris.

Kid's Court

This sounds like fun and it’s a good way to settle household arguments while giving kids a bit of real-life experience of what it’s like to be an adult. Maybe you can weigh in on other people’s cases as well. I expect to be able to present a side of an argument with someone else representing the other, and Alexa will decide the result. It might even issue punishments. On my first attempt, Alexa tells me it’s having trouble finding the skill and it plays the sound it makes when it’s offline. Not a good start. Maybe it’s been taken offline. A few tries later, and I’m on google to see if it’s been discontinued. It sounds a good idea, but if the creators can’t make any money out of it then that’s that. Or maybe it just so happens that it’s down for maintenance, or there’s too many other people using it right now.

Say it with Roses

The roses look pretty enough to eat, but they look realistic too. This is a very neat cake, but it also looks like something that you’d give to your gran. The specks in the middle could be seeds. Inside, it’s a basic jam sponge, but it’s the top that makes all the effort. There’s a lot of frosting, but many people aren’t keen on that, and the large circular space in the middle is perfect for inserting novelty candles. It looks perfect for the spring season with its green packaging. The other cake was hand decorated, so I guess this one isn’t? There’s nothing on the packaging to indicate that it is. I wonder if one machine makes the buds and another sticks them on.  It would be impressive if the buds could be animated somehow to flower in front of our very eyes. That’s for a future food technician to invent.

What if your house reminded you to do your chores just like some cars remind you to put on your seat belts?

It would be very annoying, especially if it started to beep every time something needed doing until it’s complete. Would every room have its own panel, or would there be one master panel that controlled everything? And how would it know? Is there a computer that takes laser measurements of the dust content? Are you being filmed or watched by an AI system? Or is there a highly developed routine that’s been calculated so that everything runs supposedly in sync? If you complete a chore and the light’s still flashing, you’d have to call someone to send an engineer out to take a look at it, unless you haven’t’ completed the chore properly. Would a report be sent if you hadn’t completed a chore on time? Could you be fined? This service could be very useful to landlords who rent out their properties, and it would give tenants a lot less freedom.

A Choice of Cake

It’s that time of year again; get a cake to suit everyone. You’ve got to find something to appeal to recipient as well as something that everyone will want to try, and you’ve got to ensure that you’ve got the tight number of portions catered for as well. It’s only a supermarket cake, but it’s symmetrically decorated and it’s finished by hand according to the packaging. It does look like a messy and gloppy finish. I love how the icing overflows and runs down the side. Those domes look a bit playful and slightly enticing. It’s a shame that they’ve got to come off and be devoured somehow. I’m not sure if that’s chocolate at the base on the left that’s started to crumble on the left side. The trouble is that the person I’m sending the picture to might not reply until several hours later. So I’ve got a decision to make in the meantime.