By George

He’s tall and thin, and has a smile on his face. He knows how to greet people. He has thin wispy hair and a classic handlebar moustache alongside a large nose and stick-out ears. He has a small build with a bit of a bulge on his belly. He always aims to dress smart with the simplest of clothes, even when at home. He’ll always wear some kind of shirt; either a formal one or a polo shirt. He’ll take care in his appearance to  be well-groomed with the shiniest of shoes or the whitest of trainers. He listens very intently to people’s answers, and isn’t afraid to ask questions, although he does do it to insist that he does not mean to offend. He’s actually very intelligent, although he doesn’t like to show it, especially with a deep, loud and slow black country accent. He’s rather surprise people with what he can do.

Screening out for Change

It’s that time of day to log on and chat nonsense. We can talk about our worries or just muck about with what’s in front of us. Not much may have happened but we want to analyse everyone’s movements. It’s also good to hear that everyone is doing OK, and to see about getting people help and advice if they need it. But there’s not much that we can do if we don’t know about it. We also make plans based on the assumption that nothing is going to change in the near future. It’s odd that some of us have decided to use a company’s logo as an avatar when we’re not representing that company. I don’t think that the company would be very impressed. But we didn’t get too many invites to other people’s parties which probably said a lot about ourselves. We should really take the time for some self-improvement.

Change the Rules

-The Doctor,

Sometimes things just don’t work out. You’ve found a clause that others can take advantage to get their way and you’re not sure how things should work out. Someone is taking advantage and it doesn’t seem fair. If you want to stop that from happening again, something needs to change. If you just go and break them, you could get into trouble, even though the person in front of you may have gotten away with it. Sometimes it’s easier said than done and you’re going to need others to help you. That means making sure that they see things the same way that you do. You’ve also got to make sure that they’re going to be applied to everyone. Leaders pay attention to the most voices. Or, failing that, become one. And once you’ve got the policy set up, you’ve got to watch people who will try to overturn your decision.

NHS No

What would we do without the humble post-it note? It’s the gateway of computer passwords and there are probably millions of them stuck to screens and monitors. This one is to make a record of who I am which I probably won’t need when I get there. They’re more interested in my address and my date of birth rather than my number; so that they can direct someone to my house as soon as possible. It’s not a place that I visit regularly, and hopefully I won’t be doing the same in the future. It’s a makeshift place at the end of an industrial estate and there’s lots of parking and people on hand to direct me. I have to wait in a long line outside, but it’s only long because we all have to keep our distance. Inside, we all loop round to a person with a clipboard until we’re allocated a cubicle.

Crack on a Crack #devilsdaughter 28

Dust drifted down from the rafters. Realising how fragile the building was, she realised that she had a good chance of knocking the wall down. She didn’t want to touch the window, but if she placed all of her weight on the wall in one go, it had a chance of falling apart. The safest way was putting her crack on the crack that she had already made. She could feel it widen as she leant on it already. She thought about taking a run at it but remembered how the building shook earlier. She could feel cool air blow through the wall. She smiled and began to jiggle. Floorboards creaked underneath her. Debris began to fall and bounce off her giant derriere. She could feel the wind on her red hair. Then she stepped through like passing through a mirror into  the world beyond. She wasn’t sure what was behind her.

Bird Trap

I’ve found a forest friend in the most unlikely of places. Although there’s a giant wood nearby, there’s also rows of houses alongside a fast main road which is where I found him. Maybe he’s been raiding back gardens for food and now he’s pulling up worms from nearby grassy patches. The nice gap of brown soil is a good spot  to watch worms surface. The centre left gap might even be the entrance to a burrow. What’s on the left of that isn’t clear. It could be a rock, a bit of paper, or some tissue. The robin himself could have ventured out of one of these holes. It’s nearly like a magic eye. He’s lower to the ground than me so it’s probably easier for him to see them. He probably has much better eyesight than me too. But the ground could gobble up anything that puts pressure onto it.

If I buy an entire row of seats on a long flight so no one is next to me, can the airline sell one of my empty seats to someone or will they respect the fact that the empty seats are mine to do as I please with?

It’s weird that communications doesn’t work both ways, but unfortunately, people have to be checked in. Once the airline realises that those seats aren’t going to be filled; they’ll try to sell them to someone else; providing that there’s no-one waiting on stand-by. If you check in at the desk, someone may ask where the rest of your party is. You’ve got to make an arrangement with the airline first if you need more room. It’s difficult because they want to out everyone into the same bubble which makes things easier for them to deal with. But companies are different. You need to check the booking terms and conditions when you book. And if there’s a good deal, they need to put procedures into  place so that their competitors don’t buy these seats which would force customers to seek out more expensive flights. Know your rights before you go. It’s difficult to look them up once you’ve boarded!

Who would live in a house like this? #sambourne 14

It’s got to be an old couple. Either that or it’s rented out. They know what they’re doing. The Cotswold stones are there to protect the grass and prevent people from  parking and driving over their lawn. I wonder if they have to repaint the walls every year to keep them that pristine white. Maybe they get away with jet washing them every couple of months or pay someone to do it for them. It all adds to  the cost of village living. It’s quite cute, but the whole building does seem to lean on its chimney. You’d half expect it t be moving up and down like it was breathing in a cartoon. It could almost be inflatable, pinned down with telegraph wires and pitched anywhere the hosts fancy. The grass always looks greener on the other side. The fence looks a bit exposed though. Maybe it’s a pallet placed vertically to form a gate.

A Three Pack

These ice blocks came quickly; but we did have a less practical back-up option ordered to collect at a store just in case. They were light and chunky and easy to fit into the freezer and didn’t take up much room in the cool bag either, but did the job to keep the bag cool throughout the day. The brand name also gives a bit of reassurance that the product is going to do what it says on the tin. It’s a shame that they didn’t come in a choice of colours, but I suppose blue is the most practical and they do stand out when you’re looking for them. The non-toxic element is also reassuring. No-one wants to get sick after consuming a beverage. It’s a shame that you have to keep them on a flat surface when freezing. You may have to reorganise your whole freezer drawer to fit them in.

Glasshouse Tap is 5

I’ve never actually managed to visit. I’ve come close, but they weren’t open at the time. It wasn’t doing very well and they were struggling to keep the place open. I haven’t even seen anywhere that sells its beers or met anyone that’s tried them. The website is just a mixture of cans and t-shirts to choose from, and there’s no information about its history or how the name was chosen at all, even if you pry away at a side menu. I’ve been told that it’s easily accessible from the canal. It’s proving very difficult to find a picture. I’m guessing that tables are laid out like a Bavarian beer hall. It’s probably not somewhere that you’d choose to sit inside in warm weather. Still, it’s another one to attempt to tick off the bucket list; that’s assuming if it makes it to another year. Better try to get there sooner rather than later.

Abandon Pub #sambourne 13

I’m not a big fan of this pub. It’s very picturesque but the couple in charge are a bit backwards. It’s run by a grumpy old bat and her grown-up son who runs the kitchen and tends to the bar on quiet evenings. We’d booked a room a few months in advance for a group meeting. And because it was a picturesque pub; we’d put it on the front cover of our seasonal magazine. I called ahead a few weeks in advance to remind them that we were coming. Then on the evening, the staff totally blanked us. They hadn’t got our room ready and only had one beer on which wasn’t in the best condition and soon ran out. At the break, I was considering abandoning the meeting to go to another venue; but they did add another beer. At the end of the meeting, they confessed to me that they’d forgotten that we were coming. I haven’t been back since.

Speak like Shakespeare

Am I to be bombarded with quotes from the bard? Will there be excerpts from his plays? Or is this an excuse to use ‘oldspeak’ and put ye in front of every word? She might not be able to do it successfully and give up in a tongue-twisted stupor. Or I might get an everyday conversation. I get a speech that I can’t understand, but that’s quite usual. The second attempt is different, and I begin to understand the first half but it becomes too long for my brain to process what it means. A third attempt is also unique and short, and I understood the first bit but not the second. Some of it doesn’t make sense; like cowards die many times but the valiant only die once. At the end of the day, it just a collection of quotes that it’s read out. It’s not like you can have a conversation.

When Trees Attack #sambourne 12

It looks like something’s getting ready to charge. They’re even pointing. The one on the right might be holding the branch like a cane. It might be the commander while all the left ones are lining up like obedient troops. There’s even a butterfly in the top left to act as a scout. Are the nearest ones having a duel about having to attack, or are they exchanging strategies? The door actually looks like quite a weak point. After all, it’s made as the same materials as themselves. The bushes have already been sent in. They’re blocking the windows and making sure that there’s no escape. And some more reinforcements have been sent in on the right behind them while some of the older troops have been sent to approach from the rear. And now they’re ready to begin their assault. Will they open fire or drop the command to charge?

Spider-Man: Homecoming

It was strange to see a film without an origin story; though it blended in nicely with the rest of the franchise and people were already familiar with the character. The idea of having another superhero as a mentor is also quite unique for this franchise and works well with the age of the characters. The relationship between Ned and Peter is also good fun; though the rest of the class is a little too close. There’s a bit of bullying but it’s mental rather than physical. At least Parker tries to do the right thing. This actor has the right level of immaturity which makes his decisions fun to watch. I like the irony that Happy is not happy to help Parker out and does so only under Stark’s direction. It was a shame that the final battle didn’t take place at school; but I suppose it makes sense when you put it into context with the other films.

Exquisite Gardening #sambourne 11

Someone has some serious skills here with a hedge trimmer. It must really irritate them when there’s a twig or leaf poking up out of place or not in line. Even  the tree is carefully pruned. It looks like it’s got eyes. I wonder if it nibbles a bit of hedge each time the wind blows and bends it over. I wouldn’t know how it reaches the bushes on the far side though. Perhaps the leafless tree does that. They do look a little more rugged. Perhaps there’s lasers at night that trims off any excess growth. The sensors could be installed on the drainpipes. Or maybe there’s a template for every shape that’s kept in the gardener’s shed. It might even be a school for trainee gardeners and the mistakes are kept around the back. I bet that little blackboard reads “Keep off the grass”. But it does look more than four words. Maybe it states the punishment as well.

On the Run #dreamdiary 224

I’m wandering around holding a knife. It’s a clean blade but it’s in full view. I’m wearing shorts so I haven’t really got anywhere to stash it. I’m trying to discreetly get rid of it but there’s people everywhere I go. There’s red, green and yellow bins everywhere but they’re all completely full. I’m approaching a multi-storey car park and there’s people standing in front of the doors. It’s too crowded to run without injuring anybody. All I have to do is raise my arm and they quickly part to let me through. I wonder if I’m being tracked on camera. All I want to do is get back on the train to rejoin my family. My head seems to be getting cold. The next thing I know, I’m completely bald and I’m holding a whole head of hair in one hand. Have I managed to butcher myself and cut it all off?

Raising the Bridge #sambourne 10

Continuing north, we crossed two very large fields until we reached the hedgerows and crossed a stile to turn left. Heading west, we followed this footpath until it brought us into contact with a house. At this first boundary, we turned left and headed south directly across the field. Turning right, we entered the wood and headed north-west which allowed us to cross the brook and bring us out onto a field on the other side. Heading south-west, we walked directly across the field past the tree in the middle of it to reach the other side. We followed the hedgerow north until we passed the border of an outhouse, then took the stile left over the hedgerow into a plain grassed field. Heading south-west, we cut across this field and passed through another to reach our last stile which brough us out to the driveway of our starting point.