Personalise it!

There’s a landmark birthday approaching and we’re looking into ordering a vase. Getting a gift personalised from the internet can be difficult at times as what you see on the screen may not necessarily be what you receive. At the time, we’d narrowed it to two suppliers. One was quite cheap, but the design was limited and the engraving really looked like it should be on a beer glass rather than a vase. The other was much more expensive, but the coloured design stood out and you could personalise your message. We had plenty of characters to choose from, and the only negative reviews seemed to be the box it came in. We weren’t too bothered as we were pretty sure that our recipient would use it rather than store it so we gave it a shot. When it arrived, the glass looked good, but the inscription looked faded and watery as if it would rub off. We really should have popped into our local shop and I regret our choice. I just hope our recipient likes it.

Foundation 1 by Isaac Asimov

Foundation by Isaac Asimov
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I was disappointed with this story. It started so well with a newcomer to a new world. But rather than introduce us to the same narrator, we’re shown snapshots of characters who have been around for generations and we’re expected to figure out the differences ourselves. There’s extracts from the encyclopaedia but they don’t do the book justice. I felt that he could have been a bit more creative and have leant us an android to fill us in. Because of this, there’s little opportunity to connect with the characters in this book. They didn’t draw any warmth and the reader doesn’t follow them for long or form a connection before the next generation evolves. The tale also gets very political which destroys the original concept of a science-fiction novel. The conclusion made me wonder if our Brexit negotiators had to go through a similar process. It also mocks the principals of the Foundation and creates a god-like aura for successful predecessors. Hopefully things will improve.

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Fear

How can you write a frightfully scary story? You might not know your reader so it’s hard to guess their phobias other than typical stereotypes. Of course, making it too scary might discourage readers from pursuing your topic any further, whilst what some might fear could be hilarious to others. But if you create a character with feelings then you might create an engaging story even if it doesn’t chill your reader. You can create lots of suspense by throwing in the unexpected; providing that it’s not too bizarre. And dark places are awesome! You may not like going into them because you don’t know where you’re going to end up, but the feeling and the transformation when you come out of them can be fantastic. While the unknown may create suspension for the reader and encourages them to read on; it may even help the reader to cope with their situation. 

Bar Mat Hat

I have a hat made of bar mats. It’s probably one of those things that I’ve kept longer than I should, and it should have ended up in the bin ages ago. But it’s genius! It’s basically a cardboard hospital bedpan/sick bowl that’s had bar mats artfully glued to it. I got mine at Dudley Winter Ales Fayre where a group of scouts had a production line set up to make them for charity and they could not get them out fast enough. Over the past few years the mats have come loose. I’ve tried to repair it by adding Pritt Stick to the beer mats but the mats still fall off. I probably need the PVC kind with a brush that you buy by the jug for a primary school. I’ve often thought of adding string and bottlecaps to it and a plastic pint as a centrepiece to enter in the hat day at the Great British Beer Festival; but it’s one of those occasions that I haven’t had the opportunity to attend in recent years. 

 

Maintenance Man #dreamdiary100

I’ve arrived at a school to help repair some furnishings. I’m wearing a traditional handyman’s white apron and large black boots. I’m carrying two large plastic poles. One is about three foot and the other is around seven foot. I’ve got no idea where I’m putting them up. I carry the poles into reception and sign the visitor’s book. The receptionist; a thin elderly woman with narrow glasses; tells me the room number and summons a pair of twin girls to show me the way. The trouble is that they’re quite young and they don’t understand the schools mapping system; they only know it by who teaches in which classroom. They lead me back outside then into a separate block then they stop in the building entrance and look confused. They tell me that they think it’s in here but they’re not sure which room. We walk into the first classroom on the left to discover that It already has blinds fitted. However, upon exiting the classroom I spot a map by the building’s fire alarm system. A quick study tells me where I need to go and it’s not long before I’m saying goodbye to the girls and getting to work.

Blurred

I have a lot of blurry photos. They’re not great to look at or publish; but sometimes it’s the only shot that you can get; especially in an action sequence. So when you get a chance to edit them, it’s only natural to try and sharpen them up for a better shot. But can the software really correct the lens? Or should the lens be sharp in the first place? I’ve never had much success with this. Usually, the effects just tones up the colour some more. If the camera software had stabilisation technology, then photography would be so much easier and there should be an option to blur the image afterwards should you need to. But instead, you’re begging the computer to do its magic because you missed the opportunity to take the shot again. It’s either that or run the risk of being a lousy photographer unless you choose not to publish the shot at all.

 

Bodged Job #dreamdiary100

I’m running late for a delivery job. We’re hanging out in what I thought was an abandoned garage. I’m waiting for a van so that we can fill up its tyres. Meanwhile, one of the newer drivers admits that he’s a bit nervous about driving his van so I agree to accompany him on a test run. At a five-point roundabout I tell him to take the second exit but rather than waiting in the queue he decides to mount the kerb and drive alongside the adjacent pavement. ‘I thought that we could do that as we’re delivery drivers’ he explains. I dismiss him then open the doors to the garage. I decide that as soon as my van arrives I’ll leave it in the garage and go out in my employee’s van. The trouble is that his first delivery was a microwave. As I’m holding the microwave, I hear a noise coming from the corridors in the back. It turns out that the garage isn’t abandoned but it’s a warehouse for microwaves! I realise that the microwave that I’m holding could be mistaken for one of theirs. On my way out, I’m forced into a team meeting where a variety of thefts are discussed, and they begin to show images from CCTV. Fortunately, they can’t get it working. I decide to return to my van and slowly walk away with my microwave while a security guard watches me. 

Knot that Way!

I often get knots in my hair. I have no idea how they’re formed. I usually notice them when my haircut is overdue. They’re quite painful to remove. I usually go through my hair with a comb after a shower to try and defuse them; and end up ripping through them. There’s always some that I miss and they’re quite time-consuming for the barber to remove. I don’t understand why he can’t cut them out. I guess it’ll leave me with a great big bald patch or something. There’s three theories as to how these knots are formed; the first is usually nature’s way of telling me that a haircut is overdue. My former barber used to believe that I’m a restless sleeper and my head movements cause my hair to fall into disarray. My current barber has put it down to a lot of hat wear; particularly in winter. It hasn’t happened for a while lately. Maybe there’s less hair to be knotted. Worrying.

Double Trouble

 Mum’s TV went kaput. She has a small one in the bedroom to doze off on when she can’t get to sleep at night. Anyway, one moment there was a picture and the next there was just a black screen with a colourful wibbly line. She could still get perfect sound but it looked like the screen had given up. So one of my little jobs for the day was to sort her out a new TV. A quick search online found a good brand at a reasonable price; but we also found a lower brand one that was smart for the same price. After a quick explanation she was keen on the idea so the TV was duly collected. Just before I started ripping out the packaging, I thought it best to give the stand a good clean so that I wouldn’t get dust into the rest of the room. As I did this, I though I’d try the dust-free TV one last time before its trip to the tip…and it worked first time! It looked like some of the screen had come loose at the top which exposed some white backing; but now we have two TVs and a decision to make!

Timing it Right

I hate waiting. The last thing that you want to do is to sit around and wait; especially in these troubled times. But it could be bad news for the barber; especially if they’re on their own. He might want a break; and you need him to be fresh and attentive so that you’ll be confident that they’ll do a good job. But if he’s a good barber and he runs his own business then he’ll be happy enough that some money’s going into the till. If someone’s already in the chair, at least that gives you a bit of breathing space to relax and prepare yourself after your walk. You can watch the TV or dive into the magazine for ideas for small talk; though I usually each end up discussing holidays. But if there’s a lot of people you could be talking about the same old thing as it’s been discussed countless times before. I usually sit quiet if I’m in the chair as it usually means that I’ve been waiting for ages anyway. 

 

Pubs. Pints. People.

This enjoyable series looks at the bare necessities of beer and its pub culture including the people behind it and their stories. The trio of presenters bring enthusiastic banter to the show as they discuss events past and present alongside a different theme each week, though it does sound a little bit scripted at times. The in-house interviews are sometimes even more so. It gives people behind the scenes to chance to air their views on the brewing industry, but sometimes it’s the same old tale of how they grew a hobby into a business. Sometimes the feature just reflects the closing line of the segment which is created to reflect an often-stale soundbite. But it does present an interesting view of what the campaign is up to and injects some much-needed enthusiasm into its activities. I’ve sought out some of the brews that they recommend, and they haven’t failed to impress yet. I’m looking forward to a lockdown-free life where I hope they’ll encourage people to seek out a few recommended pubs.

The Cracks are Starting to Show...

There’s no-one technically handed in the art of home repair that resides in our house any more. Occasionally I look at things and think ‘has that always been like that?’ or ‘how long has that been there?’ I wonder if there’s a real catastrophe brewing. The other day I moved my bed and found a new hole in the wall. I can only guess that the mice made it when they plagued our house. My brother’s a builder and every time he comes round I wonder whether I should mention it or get him to do an annual appraisal of the house. This means that we’ll essentially be giving him more unpaid work to do when all he wants is to come round and relax. It’s either that or try and find an honest tradesman to invite into our home without charging too much of a fortune for something that should really not be worried about or it should be left alone. I should really make it a new year’s resolution to do something about it. At least I’m not the owner.

Keeping the Burglars at Bay

There’s an option on the smart speaker to create random sounds. It can create household noises such as leaving the TV on, kitchen activity with music in the background, and a dog barking. You can play them constantly or have them come on for random periods of time. But if a burglar looks through the window and doesn’t spot the dog, you have to wonder if he’s actually going to be deterred. He may also wonder how long you spend cooking and cleaning. And it’s no good playing kitchen sounds if you leave your smart speaker on in the bedroom. In fact it’s more likely that someone will break in just to see what’s going on out of curiosity. I’m thinking that it’d probably be easier to just leave the radio on; though even that would just infuriate someone who’s trying to deliver a package. This feature might best be saved for the next generation of smart speakers who can see their surroundings, though that in itself sounds a bit scary…

Hook Norton Cold Turkey at the Alexandra Arms, Rugby

We were looking forward to coming here as we knew that there was an on-site brewery. We walked in on a cold and wet late Saturday afternoon expecting the pub to be buzzing. We walked into a dark and dingy room. The woman serving our drinks didn’t seem the least bit interested in us other than taking our drink orders, and the beer wasn’t of great quality anyway. We retired to the back room which had a pool table and through the window we could see a makeshift shed which we assumed to be the brewery; but it was too wet for us to venture outside and investigate. We made good use of the pool table and stayed for another drink to sample more beer; though I was keen to move on. Towards the end of our game a band arrived to set themselves up for the evening, but no-one seemed bothered or even acknowledged our presence. Perhaps we visited on an off day. Since then I’ve discovered that they’ve had a refurbishment and they’ve even changed the name of the pub, so I’m willing to give it another go.

Turning Pages

This young man is short but not stubborn and never ignorant, with short tidy hair and freckles to match, occasionally with a bit of stubble. He started off as a Brummie commuting to a small town. He can get a bit obsessive in what he does and is cocky enough to be independent enough to lead the team and become a manager. Confidence never fails him, though he does flare up with embarrassment when he’s in the wrong. During a shelving exercise he was adamant not to waste any of the shelf clips and ensured that we always returned any excess clips to the storage bench. As a leaving present, we decided to get one engraved with his initials on it. We even put it in a ring box to make it look like a high-end piece of jewellery. He now has a family and his own store on the south coast. It’s amazing to see people progress and it’s nice to think that you’re a part of it.

What the Frijj?

I used to sneak these delicious milkshakes into the shopping trolley as I pushed it around with a hangover while my parents went left right and centre to fill it up. They keep for a few days but I usually gulped it straight from the bottle; mainly because our fridge was chocka. I haven’t bought them for a while now; mostly because they haven’t been on offer. Instead I’ve seen the smaller Yazoo shakes but they sound like they’re produced by a foreign internet company and I know that I’m supporting British farmers by sticking to my brand; even though it’s no longer associated with its former dairy. But how do you pronounce this? There’s only one way; as it sounds; but it’s very hard to say it without adding an ‘e’ on afterwards. Perhaps they were trying to market it as fresh milk pasteurised from the falls of majestic Norwegian fjords. So if you’ll excuse me; I gotta drink a fridge.

 

Living a Piece of History

Wouldn’t it be nice to live in somewhere different? Rather than being on an estate with four walls and a garden, you could live somewhere historic. Factories, cowsheds and anything with an interesting exterior are being torn open from inside and converted into residential properties. Buildings that once served the many are now being restricted to the few. It’s great to give the space a new lease of life; but shouldn’t this development be for the benefit of everyone? Often, the facilities inside won’t cater for everyday modern needs and alterations could be difficult. Residents will also have the disadvantage of people gawking at their building in awe and intruding on their personal space. My colleague once lived in a converted chapel and often faced being awaken on Sunday to be asked what time morning services started. Needles to say, she was not amused. It’s far better to lease these properties to a business who at least are more flexible of letting people inside.

The Naked Sun

The Naked Sun by Isaac Asimov
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This futuristic novel deals with so many issues that we’re facing at the present time. We learn about Solaria’s customs through the protagonist which is convenient for the reader but also promotes ignorance between these different worlds. The setting certainly makes for an interesting whodunnit! There’s also interesting debates about robotic philosophy which doesn’t require too much detail and Asimov illustrates them perfectly. I also love how he addresses isolation and the fact that Solarians are used to viewing people rather than seeing them. There are some important morals to be echoed here; and it’s great to see that most characters learn and reflect upon their experiences upon the story’s outcome; though I’m not entirely convinced whether Bayley’s suspect was justified. I’m also unsure as to whether the role of Daneel was necessary here; although his presence may fulfil an unknown role in the saga. I guess I’ll have to read on.

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A Jumping Journey #nuclearmermaid 16

Jenny slid and pulled along herself across the wet and dankly tiles. Right now, she could really use a set of wheels like how the biped got her there. She used the wall to balance herself upright and fit through the portal into the space beyond. Inside this room there were tons of clothes just like the bipeds wore. Could she pass herself off as one of them? If so, she could blend in to get herself back to the ocean; however far away that might be. The trouble was that she’d had so little experience with bipeds that she had no idea how these clothes were supposed to be worn. The clothes that she’d seen worn were very dull but the clothes here were light and colourful. Some were too small so she tossed them into a pile; bearing in mind that perhaps they could be used to cover different parts of her.

Tetley Bitter at the Bull, Rugby

As our pub crawl continued, things became hazy to recall. Records show that we did enter this pub and successfully recorded a Cask Marque visit, but we had nothing to show for it other than a quick half of Tetley bitter. It doesn’t sound as if we were inspired enough to stay. I may remember black timber beams, old wooden tables and a black painted bar but I could be merging my memories with that of pubs gone past. It looks like a traditional town pub that has been modernised to compete with its competitors to offer services that you’d expect of a chain pub. The square main entrance could suggest that it used to be a coaching inn with a recent extension on the left to accommodate more drinkers; but it’s hard to say for sure as there’s no historical records. There’s plenty of places to allow you to perch up and meet up with friends to watch live sports; but there’s no atmosphere to invite you to stay.

 

It's All About You

 The time has come to be upgraded! My current laptop turns ten and it’s running at a snail’s pace. It takes absolutely ages from booting up to the point where you’re ready to complete a task. Furthermore, it’s rapidly running out of disk space. Every time I want to save some edited photos, I find myself putting older albums onto an external hard drive to make room. Notification messages started to appear stating that errors had been detected but the computer wasn’t telling what they were. The whole thing needed moving onto a new system before I lost everything. But what to do? I didn’t want a quick fix; I needed something lasting but practical to see me through the next decade at least. A powerful laptop would be good, but now that I have a tablet would I still need one. A Mac would be nice but I was worried that some of my old programs wouldn’t work. But what about a traditional PC? I could customise it the way I want. Then I found a PC that’s built into a screen rather than a traditional tower. Problem solved.

Greene King Rocking Rudolph at the Lawrence Sheriff, Rugby

We were under the impression that this pub was a Wetherspoons. In fact, it might have been a Wetherspoons the last time we had come here. Some of the fixtures and fittings still had that chain pub element, but the menus were clearly different. The bar was quite plush, and the place looked like it was more of a night venue with the added bonus of a pub in the daytime due to its commercial centre location. We were relived to see that the handpumps were available, but they just had a small choice hidden in the corner. The staff were happy to answer our questions but didn’t really want to engage in conversation. We wondered how many people still knew that this was no longer tied to the chain. The beer was adequate, and we still managed to grab the Cask Marque scan that we came for thanks to sharing our location. 

 

Sporty College #dreamdiary99

I’m walking through the grounds of my old college. As I pass one of the classroom complexes, the footpath diverts around a tennis court opposite the building. It all looks modern, shiny and new and I start to wonder what was there before. Perhaps it was just open land. In any case, would it be ideally placed so close to the classrooms? The noise generated would certainly disturb lessons. Perhaps students are forbidden from playing during study time. I turn the corner and walk down a paved hill. Approaching me are three students in green basketball apparel. The centre student throws the basketball he is carrying and I’m ready to catch it but he leaps up and snatches it himself. Once we’ve passed, he throws the ball again and it hits me on the back of the head. I fall and books fall out of my backpack while his mates stand there smirking.

Wigan Brewhouse Pretoria at the Merchants Inn, Rugby

This pub is a fantastic establishment to explore and has its roots in a merchant’s building in the heart of the historic city on a backroad. There always a good atmosphere here and it’s a place where the intergenerational can mingle. The walls are of traditional wood, but you won’t notice them too much because of the amount of breweriana that adorns them. A horseshoe bar stretches round the centre of the open pub while long tables are placed at its other side. At its rear is a parlour room which is laid out according to whatever event the pub is catering to at the time. The young and friendly bar staff are always happy to see you, and there’s always a good choice of beers on. I was quite happy to stay here and sample more new brews but the group grew restless and wanted to move on. I’d love to return during one of the pub’s music events or to sample their lunchtime menu. 

Secret Snacks

You’ve been at work all day but you’ve got a horrible feeling that you’re not going to be rewarded with a justified meal at the end of it. That glance in the fridge as you prepare to leave the house gives you all you need to know; whether it’s something defrosting or the use-by date jumps out at you. And you know it’s probably not going to be great. The only way to combat it is to have an emergency snack prepared. But what can you get? If it’s something hot, it’s going to be expensive and it’s more likely to smell. Anything cold is cheap and cheerful, but might be extremely unhealthy to eat as a whole portion in one go. Sometimes you might be pleasantly surprised. You might have a whole load of extras thrown in or a huge side to fill the void. You’ve then got to hide and dispose of the snack in secret so as not to cause offence (that is if you haven’t eaten it already). You just can’t win. The only way is to control your own pantry.

Oakham Southern Cross at the Raglan Arms, Rugby

This small community pub is only a stone’s throw away from the commercial district of Rugby but it has all the feel of a small local, and despite the appearance of a tied house outside it had beers from three independent breweries within. There’s a couple of picnic benches outside its front doors for those who like their beer al fresco, but it’s still sealed off from the main street. Inside is a snug on the left while the right leads out into a long room that takes up the rest of the pub. The bar is in the middle and there’s a stage at the top of the stairs. The landlord here was very friendly and instantly took an interest in where we were from and our plans for the day. We visited this pub before the grand refurbishment; and it’s now tied to Black Country Ales. I’ve not a chance to visit yet.

Spooks: The Greater Good

This was an interesting film with plenty of action sequences and it was great to see the characters out and about more often than sitting behind their desks. It was great to see some guest appearances from the series cast, even if they were slowly being killed off one by one. But once again we see the section head at all odds with the world with everything to play for to uncover a conspiracy that we see little evidence for. Mace was his usual boisterous self and as usual I was quite surprised that he didn’t have anything to do with the conspiracy. I spent a lot of time trying to work out whether the Holloway character was covered in the series, and it would have made a lot more sense if an introductory sequence was filmed. In the end the plot suits the title, but it doesn’t necessarily justify Harry’s rogue actions to conduct the investigation. And of course, there’s still the classics Spooks finish which still doesn’t define the legacy of Harry Pearce.

Byatt's Phoenix Gold at the Rugby Tap Room, Rugby

We were looking forward to this next pub. It was a former shop that had been converted into an independent bar; and we’d set some time aside to spend longer here if we wanted to. We were really looking forward to sampling some new brews. But we needn’t had bothered. A long line of pews were pushed up against the narrow room with a row of twelve casks at the end, but only two beers were available which were more local to us than the pub. These were poured slowly and unenthusiastically by a half-asleep barman. We crowded around a small circular table near the end of one of the pews opposite while we decided what to do next. We certainly weren’t inspired enough to peruse the bookshelves or open up a board game. Instead, I went to talk to the bottle-shop owner who shared the shop’s entrance for a much more stimulating conversation. It’s a shame that we had more pubs to visit as at least his brews were interesting; but he didn’t have a license to sell them on the premises. It was a shame that these two businesses didn’t merge. We finished our drinks and invested our extra time into exploring other pubs in the area. 

"If you remain humble, people will give you love and respect even after you have finished with the game. As a parent, I would be happier hearing people say 'Sachin is a good human being' than 'Sachin is a great cricketer' any day.

It’s great to show your passion after a victory but do you really need to brag about it? As an athlete, you might let off a bit of steam; but it’s still important to be respectful to your opponent. After all, they participated in your victory and helped you to achieve it, didn’t they? And for the audience, it’s not necessarily a victory for them (unless they’ve placed a bet on you). For them it’s about the story of your journey and how you got to where you are. So if you’re going to spend the rest of your days boasting of your victory then people will become tired of you very quickly once you’ve achieved your goal. But if you can recognise that it’s not just you who made the magic happen then people will envisage you as someone who cares about those around him. You might have earnt something; but you still need to recognise the responsibilities that come with victory. 

Branscombe Vale Branoc at the Rupert Brooke, Rugby

This was an odd location for a pub, or at least it was for the way that we approached it. It seemed that we left the main high street by talking through a service road towards the back of the shops which brought us out onto a large open car park. The pub was opposite. Inside was a few tables overlooking a large timbered roof and a flight of steps led us down to the bar opposite a long line of open-plan tables. The beer was functional but the atmosphere was uninspiring and it felt like we’d wandered into a barn that had been converted into a clubhouse. We wondered what the building had been before and whether it was some type of showroom. Apparently it used to host an indoor market which would explain its location. We didn’t feel the bard’s presence or recognise any of his works, so on we wandered.

 

Intriguing Characters

Who is this person? Why are they doing that? Why should I care. You might read a lot of stories where there’s plenty of action, but they can be a bit hard to follow if you don’t know anything about the characters and how they react to it. Otherwise you may as well be reading a manuscript for a movie. Stories should make the reader want to find out more about the characters rather than predict what is going to happen to them. A bit of backtracking never did anyone any harm and it certainly fills in a few blank pages. It also gives you the opportunity to display how unique your character is and show their traits and attributes. But you might want to keep some things a mystery to encourage your reader to read more and not make your character’s reactions so predictable. Otherwise it would be quite easy for the reader to foresee the rest of your story.

That Beer Belly!

I’m physically quite skinny, so it worries me when my pot belly appears. Now, it might be known that I drink a lot of beer, but I do take in a lot of exercise as well. At work I clock up a lot of mileage on my feet; and I try to balance it out by hitting the gym once a week. This year I bumped it up to twice a week but no swimming to try and catch up; but the lockdown hasn’t helped. I’ve even added a daily set to my morning routine; but this is mostly to save time in the gym. So it worries me when this little bump appears. It’s most noticeable in the morning. Is it because I’m not in motion during the night? Am I overeating? Am I exercising too much in one area and not enough in another? My calves are enormous; but I can’t seem to get the excess to come upstairs. It also makes my man-boobs appear. Maybe I need to spend more time hanging upside-down to shift up the six-pack from my calves. 

Turn on the Lights

How do you turn off the lights at night? Why, with a flick of a switch of course. Of course, you’ve then got to face the task of negotiating yourself to the bed in the dark. But man has evolved. We’ve created lamps to place by the bed to solve this very problem. It’s very handy when it comes to light out and hopefully the sun will be back in the morning to light your way. But what if you need to get up during the early hours? You’ve got to fumble around on that table for the switch. You might even have to change your position. Well, fear not. You can now control the light with your voice with just a simple smart plug. You can program it to turn on at certain times and you don’t even need the expensive internet bulbs unless you want to put on a light show. Laziness at its best. Now all you have to do is to try and find those slippers.

Nightfall

Nightfall by Isaac Asimov
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I spent a lot of time wondering when this story was written. I wondered about the ambiguity of the foreword and the necessity that some parts of this alien world have been translated for our convenience. Had it been set in today’s time I’m sure our scientists would have sent something up there to see this impending catastrophe. But now that I’ve discovered that this was written before the space race, my respect has increased for the authors. They’ve created a great concept of a world without darkness but it does focus too much on the academic world. this is convenient for the reader when the event occurs as it gives the professors the instant ability to document the after-effects, but a little more Kalgashian knowledge before the incident wouldn’t go amiss. The characters all seem to be quite isolated beings (though protagonists usually are) and only come into being when presented in the plot. But after a brief conflict, the novel comes to an interesting and convenient conclusion which may be too short for a full novel but perfect for the publication for which it suited.

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Angry Managers

By day you’re in a shop and by night you’re pimply boy racer with a flash car and a pass to take pictures at nightclubs. But life changes and you may get to a point where you end up somewhere that you didn’t plan to go. That’s fair enough. But you still need to uphold the values to which you’re expected to; especially if you’re managing other people. Buying treats for your colleagues is a great to motivate them; but it can get expensive to repeat the process. And you’ve also not got to make a big deal out of things and blow them out of proportion. Saying to your colleagues that you’re sick of people getting the process wrong isn’t going to bring about a change. It’s down to you to change the attitude and be constructive in how things can be improved. Dismissing colleagues when they’re trying to point out your attitude isn’t really going to help.

A bit of Boss at the Seven Stars, Rugby

This pub is nestled in the oddest of places and it’s a bit tricky to find even if you’re using satellite navigation. It’s hidden on a main corner opposite a new housing estate away from the main roads, but its bricked exterior is a welcome sight. Each entrance guides you round a selection of tables to arrive you in the pub’s central corner where the bar is located. A huge array of fourteen handpumps awaits your selection, and beer board are available for an at-a-glance selection, or ask the friendly bar staff for a recommendation if you’re not sure. There’s a cosy snug to play board games to give you an excuse to stay and there’s also a great selection of pub snacks here. The pub is an ideal distance to the train station, and with the help of a sat-nav you can get there in less than ten minutes. You won’t want to leave though!

Choose Your Own History

Bad things have happened. We learn from the past and move, on, but these things should never be forgotten. If everyone did everything correctly then there wouldn’t be any conflict anyway. But what exactly do we pass down to our future generations? We can’t leave them a gap and say that everything was fine. They need to know that their ancestors suffered so that they can enjoy the freedoms that we have today. But they can’t learn it all so what do you omit? And if we go back and explain that was acceptable then but it isn’t now then how do we explain the societal problems that we have now? There were people who committed what believed to be noble actions in the past which today would be regarded as outrageous, but equally we need to fix our own societal problems before we can label a period as ‘the bad times’. 

Collyfobble Bob On! at the Squirrel Inn, Rugby

Located on the outskirts of the commercial district, this charming street-side pub is a delightful cottage to visit. Its well-kept appearance is inviting and inside you’ll find something a lot different from the Marston’s portfolio from the outside. Its dainty cosy tables suggests that it’s laid out for afternoon teas even though no food is served. Instead you’ll find a lot of knickknacks and pictures mounted on the exposed brick walls and an interesting array of well-kept beers to sample, though at first glance you’ll be forgiven for thinking that you’ve wandered into a cafe. Its central features consists of a fireplace at the end of the room and cottage-like windows to transport you from the modern world outside. The clientele are very friendly and everyone’s happy to stop and meet you regardless of how long you plan to stay, and if you’re on your own there’s a bookshelf stocked with topical literature to keep you occupied. I’d certainly be happy popping in again if I’m passing.

Delivery Dream #dreamdiary98

It’s a beautiful sunny day and I’m expecting a computer to be delivered to my house. A white Luton van turns up and parks up outside the house opposite. The delivery driver gets out and unloads a fridge freezer, a pre-assembled white bedside chest of drawers and a headboard. He places these in the middle of the road which essentially blocks himself in as he’s put these behind the vehicle as we live in a close. He then rings the bell and points at what he thinks I’ve ordered. ‘Those aren’t mine’ I say. ‘I’ve ordered a computer. He shrugs and returns to his vehicle. Meanwhile, my nosey neighbour whose house he’s parked outside has come out to see what’s going on. She sees the lovely sunny weather and heads back into the house and returns with her eldest sun who is carrying two sun loungers. They then assemble these loungers in front of the delivery vehicle; which is now essentially blocked on both sides. I refuse to move the items that he’s placed in the middle of the road; and I get on the phone to the delivery company to try and find out where my computer is. 

Don't Give In!

Keeping your children happy is important but looking out for their welfare takes priority. That’s why it’s important not to give them everything that they want all of the time. For starters, it would be nice if you could, but shelling out for everything that they set their eyes upon could be expensive; and you’ve got to distinguish between a treat and an everyday outing. You’ve also got to try and manage their concepts by thinking up decent excuses. You need to weigh up between what’s good value and beneficial and their future happiness. Letting them play outside all day may keep them happy but they may also become cold and soggy which could bring them colds when they fall asleep. You’ve also got to manage them to ensure that they’re in the right place at the right time; even though it may mean sacrificing their happiness and desires now to benefit them in the future. Best of luck with this one!

 

Airtime Rewards

We all want to save a bit of money. This little beauty proposes to save you money on your monthly phone bill when you spend at certain retailers. You need to register your card number so they track what you get up to. I’m a bit annoyed with their services lately. For one thing, you have to wait an absolute age to get the cashback verified before it’s credited to your account. Then since I’ve begun using it, the minimum amount that you can redeem has changed from a choice of £5 or £10 to a minimum of £20. Because of the increase; I wonder if I will actually get to apply it since I now pay less than the redeemed amount that they’re offering. And in the meantime, who gets to play around with all this data that I’m generating? Perhaps it’s too good to be true, and it’s an excuse to bombard you with special offers. I can’t remember how I came across it now and I don’t know anyone else who uses it either. And I can’t truly endorse it until I’ve been shown the money.

Microsoft Moans

I’ve always wondered about people who buy these cards. Why don’t they just buy them on-line? It’s certainly not convenient for them to just come in for this single purchase. Is it somehow cheaper for them to do it in this manner? Perhaps they’ve got some cash to flash or some loyalty points that they’d like to use. Maybe they don’t trust computers and don’t want to hand over their credit card to the machine. Perhaps they think that their personal details will be published and other people can get hold of them to purchase goods in their name. Essentially, they’re just doing the same thing here; only we give them a receipt and a piece of paper to say that it’s done. And because there’s another human involved; they’ve got someone to blame if something goes wrong. Fortunately, I don’t believe that is ever has unless the till rejects the payment right away. I’ve got no idea how we would check if it accepted it.

Spooks

I enjoyed this series from the start but missed some of the key seasons so I was delighted when I could browse through the whole thing from start to finish. I can certainly see why applications for the service tripled when it was first broadcast. I like the great tension between government departments who can’t trust each other apart from the almighty GCHQ who conveniently locate and pass on information to help advance the plot. There’s usually a few plot lines within each episode and sometimes it’s confusing to remember who is investigating and conspiring against whom. I found Quinn to be a bit arrogant and miserable, but Carter was a much more watchable character. Some of the agents’ departures are a bit heart-breaking at times. I like the graphics of the ending of each episode which suggests that the events that we’ve just witnessed are secret and are never to be discussed again.

Upstanding

These lamps are immensely popular. For its size, it comes in a small box. I literally never gave a thought as to the product inside. There’s a fair amount of metal within, but I never realised how slim it was. It may look quite tacky in the corner with its power cable hanging out, but if you can get it close enough to the socket then you may be able to hide it. It looks quite cheap when put in the corner, and it makes me wonder jut how big the room is if you need a singular lamp in the corner. But I suppose it has its practical uses. There’s no point in buying a table if you’re only going to put a lamp on it. And as usual, there’s not a complete listing on the website. There is a ‘Questions and Answers’ section, and by now you’d have thought that the sensible questions would have migrated their way into the main listing. But it hasn’t happened yet.

Fast Feast #nuclearmermaid15

Jenny feasted. It had been a while since she’d had proper red meat, and even though there wasn’t much, there was plenty of sauce. She relished sucking the organs down her throat then began the long task of stripping the meat from the bones. When they were clean, she licked up as much blood as she could from the stained tiles. She felt no remorse for the creature whatsoever as she had been in captivity for longer than she’d cared to remember. What she did miss was a supply of fresh water and it was her next task to seek it out. But first, she needed rest. Attacking the biped had used up a lot of her strength. When she awoke, the pit seemed somewhat smaller than before. Although her head remained in the same position, her fins were pushed up against the pit wall. As she lowered herself back into the pit, she found that her head had become level with the pit’s edge. With a small push, she managed to pull herself up and out. 

Cake on Your Face

Once thing that’s sure to keep the kids at the party is the food on offer. They may be out to enjoy themselves but they’re still dressed to impress. That means you’ll have to try and keep them clean while they eat. And if they get their hands on some chocolate cake, you need to make sure to have some wet wipes at hand or prepare that garment for a write-off. It may even start a local sweepstakes as to how clean they can stay. But as soon as you get the wipes out, they know what’s coming and it’s going to stop them from achieving what they want to finish. The best thing to do is to pray that they don’t embarrass you, and if they don’t then you can treat them to a reward afterwards. If they do, then you can be sure that they’ll be in for an early night which won’t make them happy at all.

 

At what point did you find it too hard to work in retail?

There’s a prayer out there somewhere that goes along the lines of ‘God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change.’ I aimed quite high in my retail career before I learned that the bigger the organisation is; the harder it is to change something. I played a supervisory role for over ten years and attempted to enter management several times without success. I applied for development courses and took part in forums to change the way we worked but the people I encountered always had another agenda. They’d admit that the proposed changes would never happen because of budget allowances or take a very vague interest then leave the company the following quarter. Since then I’ve been demoted to a regular squaddie because of cutbacks and it gets frustrating when I have to advise a superior on the best course of action to fulfil a process. And of course, there’s the other colleagues. I’m all for high standards and great customer service but I can’t be there 24/7. And when I have to correct someone’s mistake because they haven’t spent the same time ensuring that their responsibilities are up to par, a little part of me dies and makes me not to want to work with these people any more.

Party Games

How can you keep children entertained during long sessions? If there’s other children present then the task is easy as you can encourage them to form their own games; just so long as you are comfortable with other small strangers. If not, you’ve got to have a game plan ready.  Is there a device or a game that you can give them to keep them occupied? Are you prepared to bring up songs and games to join in with them? Do you have the time and the patience to keep them happy all night? Or will you whisk them away at the first sight of whining? It’s great that you can involve them, and they probably feel very special for being treated like grown-ups at first. But at some point they’re going to want to do something different, even if it’s just standing on the chair for a stretch to dispel their boredom. Good luck.   

"A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That's why they don't get what they want."

-Madonna.

What you want and what you get are often two different things; especially if you’re not entirely sure what you’re getting. Something might sound delicious when read on a menu but what’s plated in front of you mightn’t be what you expected at all. The trouble is that we’re British. We risk offending others, and in this day of lawsuits any offence can easily put in as a case of slander. Of course, even if you say what you want it still doesn’t necessarily mean that people will be able to accommodate your request. But those who don’t speak out will not be feared and instead it gives more control to the provider to supply something that doesn’t live up to expectation. In most cases we’ll just vote with our feet and not use that service again; but this doesn’t necessarily help someone who’s unknowingly made a mistake. Don’t be afraid to speak out!

If people in the US are 'free', what is an example of something a US citizen can do that someone in Britain can't do?

To be honest, there’s not a lot. The days of tyranny are over. We don’t really have a feud system anymore where the peasants pay rent to a tyrant who decides all the rules. These people’s rights are now protected by the government; and there’s more support funded by UK taxes when things go wrong. You could argue that there’s more protesters in the US because there’s more people as we generally tend to restrict our nutjobs to major cities that have good media outlets; and we don’t tolerate their actions. There’s certainly a greater proportion of demonstrations broadcast on YouTube in the US; and it’s probably why people are more tolerant of them there. There’s recently been ‘pockets’ of UK people demonstrating their rights in a similar manner to the US, but these people seem to be more of a nuisance to society and don’t respect people’s privacy in a manner that would otherwise be accepted across the pond. The land of the free is somewhere that you can rant and rave and people can choose whether or not they care.

Out with the OId, in with the New

So the big question is why do so many people like to celebrate New Year’s Eve? Does it depend upon what day of the week it falls upon? ‘It’s a Thursday this year which means that I’ll have to work the following day so I’ll not bother’. Is it the fact that we’ve made it through another year of human existence and we’re celebrating the notion that we’re still ticking along? Or is it the chance for a fresh start? ‘I’m going to ignore all the troubles from last year and start over’. For many, it’s a chance to review what went wrong and put a plan in place to stop the same from happening next year. Then they party hard and forget as they’re spending the rest of the year recovering from that great night out but wasn’t there something important that they were supposed to do? The truth is that it’s down to you.

TV Trouble

 Our kitchen TV has given up the ghost. It’s always been a bit fiddly as it runs off a house aerial behind the kitchen appliances and up into the attic. We often pick it up and move it around on the counter to try and get reception. I’ve also been up in the attic to try and adjust the aerial outside but this hasn’t had much of an effect. Now the cable’s finally snapped, and we’ve been watching shows streamed on our tablets. My friend came round to repair the aerial cable by stripping the wire and attaching a new socket but it didn’t make much of a difference. I felt that the easiest solution would be to buy a streaming stick rather than a new indoor aerial which would be about the same price but would take up more space in the kitchen. This also gives us the choice to watch what we want rather than watch what is on.

Ribbiting Stuff

If you’d like your child to get some exercise while sat in front of the telly, then this perfect for them. The giant novelty frog descales their sense of reality; though I suppose it would devolve any fear towards a real frog which would be a good thing so long as they don’t chase it into the water. Adults can get annoyed with the irritating tunes while kids can get annoyed when the adults turn them off and spend the next ten minutes trying to turn the music back on again. After that, I’m sure the adult will spend half an hour trying to figure out how to remove the batteries. Don’t expect the blue plastic to be comfortable either. I just wonder how long it will be until the child gets bored of the frog staying in place and ventures off to explore? There could be many marks generated from the scrapes…

The Silver Dollar

There’s not a lot that you can get for a dollar. Currently, you’re more likely to spend two or three and you’re more likely to pay with a card rather than coins. I wonder if the practice of rounding up will end. You’ll actually be able to pay for a litre of fuel without being charged an extra tenth of a penny. And because we’re not bothering with change any more, you can deduct the exact amount without having bits to throw in charity tins or at tramps. They’ll have to think up other ways to do their fundraising. It also means that there’s no risk of being given a different currency out of the till either. I’m starting to wonder about those bits of paper in my wallet as well. Perhaps I should cash them in now before they fall off the face of the earth. At least I’ll get a bit of interest back, and future generations will wonder what cash is.

Discover Raglan Castle by John R. Keynon

I don’t know whether social distancing had anything to do with it, but we didn’t get our hands on the guidebook until we’d passed through the giftshop on our exit. Our route was somewhat to the published tour as we followed the one-way system then went back on ourselves to cover the sections that we felt that we’d missed Nevertheless, we needn’t had bothered with the purchase at all. There were informative displays surrounding the castle to tell us of the history and the guidebook was more of a takeaway souvenir refresher. We also discovered several memorable features with our eyes that weren’t addressed in the guide at all. I feel that my photographs would be more useful as mementos and I did capture a few shots of the castle that were very similar to what was published as well. At least it’s a small publication to reflect good value for money.  

Bus Driver #dreamdiary97

It’s my birthday and I’ve decided to hire a red London Routemaster bus to take all my friends around country pubs for the day. It’s got lots of rust and faded paint and I get first dibs at the wheel. I’ve chosen a few friends who have volunteered to stay sober to take us the rest of the way. My first task is to pick them up; and I’ve told them what bus stops to be at. We’ve made a customised route number that says Paul’s Pub tour. At the first stop, my best friend joins me and takes a few pictures of me behind the wheel; then I get out and take a few pictures as well. But then a woman comes along and gets on our bus! I explain that we’re not a real bus but that we’ve hired it for the day. 

‘But who is driving?’ she asks.

I open my wallet and show her the permit that I’ve been given for the day; which surprisingly looks like a bus pass. ‘But I suppose I can take you’ I say. We’ve got a few stops to make first. ‘Where do you want to go?’

I pull out into traffic. The next stop is only two hundred yards away and a group of five people are standing by the post. One of them sticks out their hand. I stop but only because I’m in traffic waiting for the lights to change. Foolishly, I’ve left the door open because it’s such a hot day and there’s no air conditioning; so on they hop flashing bus passes. 

‘Em, we’re not a real service’ I explain, but they don’t seem to hear me and take their seats. What do I do now?’ I turn to my friend. 

‘Just stick to our plan and pick everyone else up’ says my friend. ‘If they haven’t gotten off by then we’ll drive them to the hospital and chuck them out at the interchange. They’ll be able to catch another bus from there.’

Ten minutes later we’ve taken on another eight passengers and I’ve earnt £4.50 in fares. We’ve had numerous complaints though; we’ve not been giving the correct change; issuing tickets or accepting contactless payments. We’ve decided to let these passengers on for free. Then one drunk wants us to wait for him while he goes and gets a bag of chips. I’m close to bursting to tears at this stage as everyone is messaging me to see where I am; whether I’ve broken down or is the pub crawl still on. Then I realise that a real bus driver wouldn’t wait and I decide to man up and put the pedal to the metal.

 ‘You can catch the next one’ I yell through the rolled-down window. I head off. 

The Prancing Penguin

I found this happy chappie sitting on a downstairs toilet which belonged to a family friend. It’s a classic
animal to top porcelain Percy and he’s dressed for the party season too. Everyone’s obsessed with him. I can’t remember whether it took batteries or a simple prod set it off. It could have even started from the flushing mechanism. I sent it to a friend who is mad about penguins but didn’t hear a reply. How rude! It’s not as if I was demonstrating where the thing was or an accidental something else in the video. It’s in a great place; although you have to ask if it’s in the right room. Perhaps all the other rooms are fully decorated. And if you don’t go, you’re going to miss out on this feature. It’s a bit of a distraction when you’re trying to aim though. Just don’t try to join in.

The Water Carrier

Mum wanted to be a bit more flexible with her walking when out and about. Rather than having to carry a rucksack just to carry water, she came up with an idea of a strap to carry the flask instead. It’s like a hip flask but bigger. The holder is made of insulated foam and fits the flask very smugly, with just the right amount covered so that you can still access the flask. The strap looks quite thin but it’s pretty sturdy and doesn’t pull on your shoulder too much as you walk. I just hope that it doesn’t fray and deteriorate. It came direct from Hong Kong and we didn’t expect to see anything of it for about six weeks, but it transpired that it took just two to ship. It came in a black package with a customs label printed on it. I wonder how many ports it passed through.

Banks's Amber Ale at the William Webb Ellis, Rubgy

From the outside, this looked like a lovely welcoming traditional pub with its large windows, hanging baskets and plant life. Inside it looked attractingly painted in a light modern blue and large plank-style tables capable of holding large groups. From there, the friendliness seemed to end. Our beer was handed over by an unenthusiastic barmaid and the chilled effect still didn’t disguise the vinegary taste.  We took a glance at the large cardboard menus which sounded tempting but looked overpriced for what it contained. We couldn’t see anyone else eating so we took it as a sign. What we did see were groups of lager lads sprawled about the place engaged in either pushing each other around or staring at the giant screens dotted around the place. It’s as if the place was a day-care centre for young adults rather than a welcoming place for all to come and socialise. It didn’t take us long to forgo discovering who William Web Ellis was in favour of moving on and our next destination.   

Georgie Porgie

This secret guy is tall, dark, and handsome, and speaks in mysterious ways too. He’s quite soft spoken and works for the government but he’s not allowed to say which department. We’ve always suspected the security services. He’s certainly got the manner for a spook; he takes an interest in everything that you do but reveals little about himself apart from his past. He might not even by telling us his real name. He’s also a snappy dresser he’s prepared to show off a cloak and hat by day, always with impeccably ironed trousers and polished shoes. When it comes to the evening he’s not afraid to climb into a tux whatever the occasion. He may even wear a wristwatch that he talks into when he thinks that no-one’s watching. He’s also well-groomed and fragranced to impress the ladies. But he’s also quite punctual and reliable; and is always at the end of a phone or a quick reply to a text.

Return to Rugby

For our Christmas drinks womble, we headed back into Rugby. We started our tour at the Victoria after a steady ten-minute gentle incline from the train station. As our second planned pub opened a while later, we had some time to kill here and relaxed in the pool room chatting to the locals as they came in. We particularly enjoyed the plush leather pews and the tiled floor in the atmosphere of a sports pub, and we managed a few frames too. We couldn’t see the full range of ales from this side of the bar; but as it was initially quiet the barmaid was happy to help us out. I decided to warm up with a traditional half of a light Oakham ale followed by a selection from the house brewery. Memory forbids me from recalling what the house beer was but I remember deciding that the former beer was in better condition.

 

Twits wot Tweet

It’s getting a bit vulgar out there. People that we currently admire seem to have the power to bitch about anything they want without consequences. It’s nice to know what they’re thinking even if their views are controversial to the norm. But half the time, we don’t even know what they’re talking about. If we’re lucky, they might include a link to that of which has offended them. Of course, by sensationalising the issue they could secretly be in it themselves and could be endorsing the cause by offering clickbait. What a conspiracy! Because of their fame; it’s led them to believe that they’re a public figure of authority. What these assholes need to understand is that the rest of us must share the planet (with the internet included) as well. But if they’re going to offend us then they must realise that we can switch them off at any time. That’ll teach them when they wonder why their book sales are down.

Keeping Tabs on You

In the olden days, most people used a table to keep track of their raw data which could easily be used to convert into a graph for fast comparisons. Nowadays we do this on an electronic screen called a tablet which isn’t dissimilar to the Greeks of old apart from our devices can store information on the same device and can show other screens too; including entertainment. And because of advancements in our network abilities, a phenomenal amount of data can be shared and called up onto a screen at will. We even have giant banks just to store and backup this data. But with all this tracking, is it necessary to keep track of each other? We’ve always had people in authority to do this for us and act accordingly, but it seems that a new philosophy is rising which suggests that people need to track their activities too. This creates further work for the authorities who must police the trackers. Just how far does keeping tabs go? Isn’t anyone entitled to a little bit of privacy anymore? 

 

How do I tactfully tell someone that they smell bad?

 It depends on the environment. You might have some authority in the workplace; but if you’re on public transport with a stranger; you’re not going to have any authority whatsoever. If you see them on a regular basis, then perhaps there’s an opportunity for you to smuggle an anonymous note into their coat, bag or work area. Sometimes there’s nothing that you can do about it other than to get away from the offending person as soon as possible. Perhaps you could offer them a comfort break to freshen up; or let them know what you’re doing and ask them if they’d like to do the same afterwards. The key is to take a subtle approach to test their reaction and see how they react to your suggestion. Is there a way to amplify your smell to mask theirs by opening some mints? You might even go the extra mile and offer them one. Or if it’s a stranger that you probably won’t see them again you can say what you feel as you depart and hope they have a thick skin.

Bags of Trouble

You’d think that by now there’d be enough of these things around. Bags have been known to predate civilisation, and they’ve certainly been a timesaver to aid humans on their journeys. Why then, have we suddenly resorted to covering up a single item? If there’s a need to conceal it, why can’t we go back to paper? It may not have the strength required but there’s a bag that predates that in the form of woven string. The truth is that see-though plastic is a germophobe’s dream. It allows them to examine products without physically touching them. I do wonder what they did before this substance was readily available and whether some unknown vaccine has skipped a generation or two by not having the ability to spread its immunity to others. But then again, our goods have never been manufactured so far away as they are today. I hope that people are taking note and are preparing to buy local. We’ve seen what’s out there. Now it’s time to make our own version.

 

Sounds of the 90's

I fancied listening to something different to my regular mix at the gym. What I needed was something that I would enjoy but that had that human touch as well. This mix was perfect. As well as a good mix of music to suit most genres, host Fern Cotton also takes us back to discuss the playground crazes of the times. She also throws in a few guests to chat to; though at times it seems as if she’s calling up her mates to fill some airtime. It’s sometimes hard to see the relevance when they talk of the nineties as being that hazy period where they were hanging out with celebrities all the time. I love the movie quotes; there’s some excellent tunes which makes up its soundtrack too. Its actual broadcast is late at night; so it’s a lot easier to download it to listen to at leisure. Perhaps they should go for a live show though.

Basket Case

Life is tough when you’re small. The vacuum cleaner is loud and scary, everything seems so much bigger and the dark can be scary, especially if you’re on your own. You must to brave if you want to try out new things; especially if you’re on your own. But if you’ve got a bit of familiarity nearby to retreat to like somewhere you’ve been before or someone who’s going to help you if you don’t like it, then you might be willing to give it a go. You can conquer that fear with the help of another, and you may even be able to help them at the same time without knowing it. Don’t get too used to the company of others though. Eventually, people will expect you to face your fears and go it alone. In the meantime, you’re entitled to have as much fun as you can handle before nap time. 

Brunch #nuclearmermaid14

As she peeled away the crack in the tiles, she noticed that the level of water would decrease slightly. One day she got to a point where it was barely covering her and she could no longer dive underwater. She took this as a sign to play dead in front of the biped. Sure enough, this forced the biped to act. First, it pumped in water out of a rubber tube followed by buckets of water; but the damage that Jenny had done was too much for the water to remain in the pool. Its only choice was to jump in to investigate the leak. Jenny until it was partly submerged so that she had the upper hand. Then with a flick of her tail, she knocked it over and was able to twist her tail around its body. With just one squeeze, there was a crack and one biped became two.

Disappointing Deviations

We sell a lot of things in our shop that we’re not entirely sure how they work. And with a range to suit all budgets, it’s often difficult to advise someone which product is right for them. We could be greedy and sell them the top end product but most of the time the cash is going to the manufacturer rather than ourselves so as a company we just earn a small mark-up; which is even smaller if an item comes back through the returns process. That’s when we must be on our guard. Obviously we have to be on the look-out for people trying to defraud us but at the same time we don’t want to rip anyone off. It gets difficult when you hear of people’s tales of their disappointment in the product but at the same time you must defend your profit margin. You’re a middleman but often you don’t hear the result which makes it more difficult upon making future decisions with the same issue. It’s not just a tipping ground behind the returns counter.

 

Grandpa's Story

 People aren’t always interested in stories. They’re more likely to tell stories about other people than their own; especially if it’s about the olden days and if you struggle to recall them yourself. But this can affect the way in which they’re remembered. And it’s important to entertain all audiences if you can. The last thing you want seared into their minds is an image of you coughing up your guts into a bin. So it’s important to tell stories to be remembered; even if they’re a little far-fetched; to hide those negative moments. That way they’ll remember being taken out to parks and sitting in quiet amusement as you doze off in tents when you’re supposed to be babysitting. And if you can’t tell stories then you need to keep your listeners hooked in some way, even if it’s being a little bit silly. The easiest method to do this is to make new memories.

A Different Christmas

No-one knows what Christmas is going to be like this year. Everyone wants to get the isolation period out of the way now so that they can enjoy themselves later in the year, or at least when the usual festive shopping sprees begin. But will COVID comply? It’s already changed the livelihoods of many people who have had to think quickly. There’s so many businesses advertising their options whether it’s planning for a party, stocking up the pantry or arranging a takeaway so long as you don’t exceed the standard six. And of course, it’s still too early to say whether that rule will be tightened or loosened. What we can expect is the usual tirade of people in fancy dress; but whether that’s in person, on a screen or even digitally created is still too early to say. I’ve already decided that Christmas is not my department to organise and I’ve already started planning a New Year’s Eve party on Zoom.

 

The bus #dreamdiary 96

 It’s time for my annual holiday with my college friends. I’ve got an excellent deal on a motorhome. It’s got an upstairs living area at the back which overlooks the kitchen, and in the front is the driver’s seat which has berths above. I’ve achieved the task of picking everyone up; but the only problem is that I haven’t planned a route. I spend the first morning driving to a Tudor mansion which everyone is happy to explore. There’s a lovely banquet room with a view of the mountains; but it doesn’t keep us there for long. During lunch I confess that I haven’t got much further and that nothing is booked. We sit around the kitchen table with a large map in front of us. Everyone is trying to keep positive by searching on their phones for ideas but at the same time I can feel hidden resentment because I haven’t done my homework. I might be in for a long night drive…

Giving it up for Free

Occasionally we give away free things at work. It’s usually part of a deal when you buy another product. If it’s an expensive item then the customer is usually aware of the offer but the till is not. We then must trawl through the internet to find out the item code only to discover that we haven’t got any and we have to order them in or tell the customer that they’re currently not available. If it’s a cheap item then the till is aware of it but the customer isn’t which means that we have loads of them left over long after the promotion has ended. This just sits there until we’re told to write them off and put them on the counter to give away with any similar purchase or to passing children. Lately, there’s a bundle of these that no-one has been authorised to deal with; they’ve also been given a value so that they can’t be processed on the side. With a major lack of attention to the stockroom in recent years, I wonder how much longer this stock will sit there taking up space. 

Amazon Fire TV Stick

I got this once my TV aerial gave up the ghost which limited me to just watching DVDs. The idea of being able to livestream some channels and a new selection of content each month became quite sound. The technology to use this is quite simple. One end goes into the TV and the other goes into the mains. And then with the help of a remote control it’s on. It can be surprisingly slow at times, and the remote can be particularly difficult to respond once I’ve plugged it in. Sometimes it’s quicker to ask my dot to load it for me. I often have to have two or three attempts at loading apps, but I have got the older model. I sometimes get a blurry black and white screen, but sometimes the power adapter gets tilted. I don’t know if that’s the cause. Once it gets going, it’s fine. But I need to remember to use the firestick’s sleep function rather than my TV’s one so that it doesn’t stream too far ahead of what I remember I’ve watched.  

A Prayer for Owen Meany

A Prayer For Owen Meany by John Irving
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

When I first started reading this book, I thought that Irving was just so full of himself. He certainly blows his own trumpet when he introduces his book. As it’s the first title that I’ve read; I’ve no idea what to expect. I got quite a bit bored in the first chapter as Wheelwright attempted to trace his family history and felt that there was going to be too much digression in this tale. I’m not sure about having Owen’s voice in capitals all the time though. It depicts a spoiled little brat screaming all the time; and Meany certainly gets his way in his youth as he commands the adults around him. Perhaps it should have been in italics; though the printer may have had other ideas. That said, it’s a very novel story with plenty of interesting events and a plot that’ll keep you wanting to find out more until the truth is discovered. It’s certainly a book that you’ll want to re-read with the plot in mind.

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“There is no greater thing you can do with your life and your work than follow your passions – in a way that serves the world and you.”

 -Richard Branson.

If you can earn a living by doing something that you enjoy then you’re doing something right. You will care about your work. You’ll be willing to put errors right and strive for perfection. Of course, not everyone gets to follow their desired path. You find that you’re being controlled more than you’re in control. And that’s where problems start. People start to forego their ideas as they follow the desires of others with as little enthusiasm that is necessary so that they can keep their role and perform a function to earn a living. In the meantime; you’ve got to fuel the passion that keeps you going so that you’ve got something to look forward to in your spare time. And who knows; maybe one day you’ll be able to throw off your shackles and pursue your hobby in a meaningful way. And that’s when the controlled becomes the controller.

Bags of Bags

It’s now the law to charge for a plastic bag. Companies aren’t supposed to profit from these sales; they’re supposed to donate the dosh to charity. But some people still haven’t got used to being prepared for this yet. It’s no problem; we’re happy to help them out; even though some still expect us to hand them over for free. Then there’s the rigmarole of asking them to find 20p. We usually keep a small pot of coins behind the counter to give out change, but if they want to pay with a note or a card they must go through a manned till. This creates further problems if they want to pay contactless as our machines don’t have it fitted! Someone actually walked out to use the ATM to get cash last week just so they could buy a bag; even though the item he bought was a perfectly carriable square box. You have to wonder where these people come from sometimes.