New Year's Dishonours List

As we approach 2016, the Queen's New Year honours list has been announced. And what a scandal it has caused. As well as the worthy list of sports personalities and actors or actresses; it is now deemed necessary for politicians and leaders of failing businesses to receive an award. Despite it's failure to process enquires; the Head of the U.K. tax office has been made a Dame despite her failure to successfully run the department or previous departments in her career. So has she been nominated for compensation for all the suffering of being complained at? The palace surely seems to be rewarding failure here; and there seems to be a secret buddy system amongst the bureaucrats for working long hours and making mistakes. If the queen is that of touch with the common people; it surely demeans everyone else who has achieved this award. I think we need a bit more information regarding these nominations.

The saloon bar at the Woodland Tavern, Leamington Spa

Our next pub was in CAMRA’s Good Beer Guide so we were really looking forward to it. It was a small community pub just beyond the reach of the shops, with a local greeting us upon entry. But once we were inside, it was just like walking into a saloon bar. The few people in the pub immediately stopped talking as we looked at the ales on offer. The beer was a bit plain and nothing special for an accolade pub. Luckily there was a dartboard in an isolated corner so we decided to inject some life into it; which soon caught the eye of everyone else as we played a variety of different games. There was also a juke box nearby but that may have caused a riot. The Cask Marque certificate that we needed to scan was in a corner right behind someone’s bag propped up on a bench. 

A farewell to Doctor Who Legacy

I really enjoyed this game when it first came out but lately there seems to be a new update to download every time you play. There is too much emphasis on content, not enough work on maintenance  and making the game run smoothly. Updates take ages to download, then once you reach the title screen there's more lag while you wait for the weekly offer screen to load. I'm frantically tapping the menu screen to get a response to start a level; and even during the game you have to be extremely patient when trying to move a gem into position or activate a character's special move. However, I recently changed devices on the same platform; and while the game allows you to save game data to the cloud; it doesn't seem to allow you to retrieve it. In the end I had to say goodbye to my time playing it as it hasn't made itself future proof. 

Woodeforde's Wherry at the Hope & Anchor, Leamington

Our first pub on our tour was the Hope and Anchor, which was a long stretch away from the rail station but our furthest pub on the crawl. From the outside, it seemed just a small local’s pub, and from the outset we weren’t expecting much as we had already discovered that it belonged to a pubco. Inside was a singular hand pump selling real ale, but we were amazed to see that it was Woodforde’s Wherry; all the way from Norfolk; and it was in fair nick as well. As it was our first pub after a long journey, we settled back to watch the football, which seemed to be the highlight of the back room. The front room seemed very crowded with its three people, and we wondered how this pub would cope in busy periods. The local was enjoying a spot of low league soccer; though he thought it odd that we weren’t cheering anyone on.

Getting the troops organised

Every year our little gang likes to do an annual Christmas pub crawl. We simply pick an area we haven’t visited before, work out a way to get there, then seek out the top pubs in the area. However, this year we were a little stuck as we were at the breakfast stage and we still hadn’t decided where we were going. Furthermore, we were restricted to an unofficial bank holiday with restricted public transport and unknown opening hours as many pubs operate their own hours over the festive period which would be different to the regular advertised ones and only the locals would know. After discovering the star attraction of the Wolverhampton tour would be closed; we settled for Leamington Spa which none of us had any regular experience of its urban centres. Nevertheless; armed with a very low phone battery we managed to board the correct set of trains which were only fifteen minutes late and head out to our first pub.

Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe

Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is a truly classic tale of morals and values as Harriet Beecher Stowe describes the hardship of slavery in the nineteenth century American south. The language is very colourful and captures the innocence of the enslaved black people. Eliza’s heartbreaking flight from Shelby’s farm in fear of being parted from her son illustrates the many hardships that African Americans had to endure. Stowe mocks the slave trader in both appearance and manner and portrays Haley solely as an evil businessman who has to contradict himself in order to secure his profit. The societal laws are also mocked as the wives of the decision-makers begin to rebel against politics and place moral Christian values higher than revolutionaries. The purchase of Tom to St. Clare gives us hope in that some men see the errors of society and aim to appear erratic but actually demonstrate compassion to their fellow man. It's a shame that he is upstaged by his wife Marie who is the epitome of everything she says. Stowe’s characters are well thought out and create great banter in their dialogue; which makes this for a very entertaining read.

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Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas! I was dragged out of bed at the ridiculously early hour of 7am for our present opening ceremony, but we had to get ours out of the way before the girls came over so that we had enough room and that there were a fair share of presents for everyone to open. No moneypot to open this year, I expect it's all been spent on holidays and the girls. But I did get a nice pair of goggles from my brother. I did feel a bit cheap handing over just some chocolate and a DVD but I had bought presents for his family as well. Millie loved crawling around with her pillow, and Kim was very impressed with Chloe’s present. Chloe looked at it very politely, I expect she'll enjoy it more if she gets round to playing with it. Then it was off to the pub for the usual Christmas pint with the lads before Christmas dinner where we hide away from all the hard work! After lunch and a nap it was over to my aunt’s which was a bit dull this year as it was just us. Luckily I played the work card and managed to sneak away early.

A Day Off for Christmas

I was really looking forward to Christmas Eve. For once I had the day off, a pub crawl was planned with the possibility of a few pubs closer to home later that evening. And the one thing that I found myself doing was that I was actually Christmas shopping. I still had presents for four people to buy (one of which is still sitting in a corner of my room). And of all places, it had to be in sunny Stratford upon Avon. But it turns out that the traffic wasn't too bad. I was expecting to be queuing before the roundabout of the main road, but I just sailed in and found a parking space without too much trouble at all. I'd found a parking space, didn't have to queue too much in the shops, dodged the carol singers (even the begging ones) and even got in on a McDonald's Christmas burger. The only thing that ruined it was having to venture into Tesco for a few last minute items. The shelves were completely bare and even the roof lacked decorations. I felt so sorry for the people working there trapped in a soulless environment. Then I went home and decorated my pretty purchases.

Sherduck and the Missing Slipper #Sherduck2

‘And it’s always so crowded. I don’t see why people have to wait for other people all the time. I mean, if everyone agrees to conduct themselves in a similar manner, there would hardly be any hold-ups at all.’

‘Excuse me sir, but I do have an appointment.’

‘Yes, I’m afraid you’ll just have to wait while we sort this out. Better start getting used to the idea, but if we can get things moving along a bit faster now then it’ll be a lot quicker for everyone. We just need a bit more planning to get the space right.’

‘But with all due respect Sir, I’ve been waiting a month.’

‘A month? Well, that’s just simply ridiculous. I should like to cancel everything to attend to you directly, but we must offer those that lack the pace a chance to catch up.’

‘But I just don’t understand what it is you require, your Majesty.’

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

The devil is in the detail as Stevenson tells a short yet intriguing tale of Victorian horror. The tale begins through gossip, with neither the doctor or the lawyer actually witnessing events. The character on the whole are way too polite; expecting the worst out of any criminal outcome; and even admitting to the authorities that a crime may be at stake when attempting to settle the compensation of the innocent girl. Jekyll’s narrative confession at the end of the story is too long-winded for any reader to acknowledge, as the narrative is too scientific and there is too much information on which to dwell. The story’s conclusion is too short, and it is not made clear what has become of Jekyll in Doctor Lanyon’s letter, or of the outcome of Lanyon himself in Jekyll’s statement. Perhaps this is why the book is so successful in that Stevenson has missed a trick to allow other producers to finish his work for him.

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High rolling at Christmas Party World

Our table had been blessed with wine and beer, and we found out that we were the closest to the

kitchens. While this didn’t mean that we were the first to be served; we had a view of who was being served and how the system operated. My crab starter was very nice; and a lot more refreshing to the soup that everyone else chose; but I could smell the soup and it was done very tastefully. We also had a big twitter screen to post our pictures and comments throughout the evening, and high wire dancers complete with colanders and candlesticks on their heads.

The chicken and dessert, although small in size; were very tastefully done, and my eyes lit up when I found out that Marstons Pedigree was part of the free bar. We danced and rocked; rode the waltzers; then watched our manager throw up in a wine bucket (who watched us riding the waltzers!).  There was also a casino and I was doing very well at the roulette table until it was time for last orders and I put everything on the evens…only to receive a big fat green zero. It somehow seemed fixed…

Crashing at Christmas Party World

The taxis that the girls had booked to take us to the venue certainly were a let-down; I wish we’d gone by train as I suggested. It was a bit of a struggle to find the exit to our apartment block, and from there we were struggling to work out who our taxi firm was. We had opted for two taxis rather than a people carrier and we didn’t actually know where we were heading as there was nothing posted on the ticket. Luckily I spotted signs to the venue and was able to navigate. However, the girls arrived at a different part; and we were constantly calling them and texting them to tell them which hall to head for; and consequently we missed the canapes. The hallway was packed with people; but luckily the first call to dinner was announced and we wandered off to find our table for the evening. 

Baby racing

While lost in an apartment complex, I came across a rather novel form of entertainment. Two adults were racing their babies down the corridor between the apartment rooms. With a complex of this size, I was wondering if I would bump into the twin sisters from The Shining, but this was very enjoyable. A quick search on the internet proves that baby racing has been done in the past as tots chase soft toys down a small track to reach the finish. It would be ideal at church fetes where all the grannies could coo over the new-borns, with parents on hand to assist should any boo-boos occur. In America, there is even a website dedicated to the post World War II ‘Diaper Derbies’. There is of course, the morality of the sport; for instance, in the case of commercial gain it would deem to be cruel (unless the babies were genetically cloned midget actors; the series could easily be staged similar to worldwide wrestling entertainment). All I need is a group of volunteer parents with new-borns to spare…

Wonderbar!

I’ve been looking for a crowd for ages to accompany me to the German market. It’s nice to look at, but many people don’t see the novelty of it as every bratwurst vendor is the same and there are only two types of beer available. But it’s Christmas with music and lights and outdoor drinking; so the only group willing to go are my work’s managers before our black tie bash! It started off quite mixed with the big boss getting straight into the spirit of things by ordering a two-pint stein. I went for a pint of the wheat beer, while the others stood around looking sheepish. We decided to head on up to the square, stopping for garlic bread on the way. We ended up bagging a table by the cider stall, but unfortunately I couldn’t convince anyone to take up the ice skating. So we slowly headed to the apartments, stopping for food and bottles along the way. 

The Postbox

The mission was simple; pop back to the apartment, grab a beer and some shoe polish for the boss, then head back down to the girl’s apartment. We were staying in a refurnished complex called the Postbox, which was conveniently next to the Mailbox. Parking was difficult, we had to circle the area three times before deciding where to go; and the venue only had room for one car. But we eventually stopped in a nearby shopping complex that allowed overnight stays. Upon checking in, I wasn’t really paying attention as I didn’t make the booking, but we were given room keys once the spares had been found. We were shown to our rooms which were well furnished and had a nice view of the square and the library beyond. The girl’s apartment was a little bigger and plusher and we should have switched as there were more places to crash. But the strange thing was that our keys didn’t actually have our room number on it, which caused great confusion when I was sent on my mission.

Time to Upgrade

I have a new phone! I’ve grown quite fond of my old phone despite its slowness and its now cracked screen. I get on well with the software and its artificial intelligence. There are a lot of new models out there, but they also cost a lot of money. I’ve worked out that it’s cheaper to buy a model of my current phone with more memory than pay for a new model and an upgraded contract. The phone shop only sells the latest handsets and won’t have my phone in stock anymore; so it’s off to e-Bay to find my new purchase. It’s been open but the words ‘mint in box’ are clearly etched on the item description. So far it looks very clean and it turns on. I just hope that it’s quick and painless to swap everything over, though there still plenty of time for something to go horribly wrong. 

Another works do...

I’ve been invited to take part in another works do. This one is posher and is just for the mangers and team leaders; we’ve been asked to acquire black tie which luckily someone offered theirs for beer. A hotel has been booked (though I’m not entirely sure where) and a deposit has been paid. Though I’m in two minds as to whether or not to go; it does look like a glitzy party with proper canapés and entertainment. Then this week I find out that we’re starting at midday in the German market. Why is everything so last minute in this company? I’ve now been forced to give up a full two days for this party instead of a long late evening. I just hope that I’m granted some freedoms and don’t have to stick to the boss’s itinerary. And I’m already at a disadvantage as I’m not paying for the room. 

First Brit on the Space Station

So we’ve finally managed to send a Brit to join the team on the International Space Station. He will spend six months orbiting the earth while doing experiments. But what these experiments are; we have no idea. If it is to test new technologies, then the need for confidentiality is understandable; yet frustrating since the venture is undertaken with public money. But if it’s to see how fast you can complete a Rubik’s Cube in space or the effects of drinking Coca-Cola in low gravity conditions; these experiments are clearly wasted. Surely if Peake is conducting a series of educational experiments to inspire children; we have a right to know what they are? I personally feel that his time would be better spent helping to develop the space station. And what’s most frustrating is the coverage given to this event. Was it really a slow news day so that half of the main daily news bulletin could be devoted to it? 

Prescott is back...

I just found out that John Prescott has made a return to politics by becoming Chair of the Council of Europe’s Environment Committee. Has the world gone mad? This is the man who owns two Jaguars and drives one of them a hundred yards up the road to make a speech about saving the environment. A man who is well known to take naps during parliamentary debates. So what has he been up to on this committee? Well, not a lot apart from announcing that the targets set by the UK government are unrealistic. Probably from the comfort of a corporate jet paid for by us while trying to figure out how to form the Republic of Humbleside under the pretence of a police commissioner. I wonder how much free fossil fuel was thrown in for his performance? And in the meantime, if he does has to attend any boring meetings, he can always sleep through them. 

A bare back Christmas

I took my niece to a Winter Wonderland yesterday. It was a great novelty for her as she loves ice skating, but on reflection I saw it as a cheap monopoly for the garden centre to gain revenue. We had to pay extra for a skating aid and the skate hire booth was very bare. Some tots even did themselves an injury by toppling over the wooden benches.  The rink wasn't particularly big or decorated festively; the music wasn't Christmassy; and the nearby café was terrible. Bad food, rubbish service and the beverages weren't festive at all. The whole place was bare and dull. A quick wander away from the ice rink took us into an area of fruit trees and an abandoned play area. My niece honestly thought we were lost. These places need to make their venues extra special if they are to attract more than just visitors for their shopping.  

Please wait...

What do computers think we’re doing while we wait for them? Do they expect us to endlessly stare at the screen while they struggle to complete the task assigned to them? Perhaps there's no-one at home; actually they've nipped off for a fag or some other comfort break. Perhaps there's a group of people in an office that chooses what appears on your screen. If you’re doing something out of the box, they might need to call their supervisor for help. Or is it a marketing scam? Perhaps it's an effort to force you to do something else to distract you from the task you were doing; because if you were doing something it doesn't like then it's definitely trying to stop you. Maybe the distraction is a further excuse for it to allow its current task to run even slower. There are lists out there to suggest what to do while waiting for your computer. Some suggest ways to make your computer faster; some are three minute recipes and some promote exercise. But at the end of the day, we’re still waiting.  

The works booze-up

So I’ve missed out on the work evening bash, as I got the chore of having to cover the evening shift. And what a load of gossip I’ve missed. Drunken teenagers getting preloaded then actually getting served at the bar. Colleagues pushing random people across the dance floor, smashing glasses; grabbing every glass of wine that comes their way and stealing the rest of the bottle, then having to be taken aside by other colleagues to sit in the corner. People retching after the first taste of posh food. People attempting to walk two miles along a country road into the town centre with one step forward then seven steps back. And the final result is being thrown out of the hotel with a complaint to the manager a few days later with a lot of faded memories. That’s the people I work with. And I missed out on all of it! 

Dream Diary 3

Three very strange dreams came to me last night. The first was a culture shock where I was offering to drive someone home who was an ex-cop who was talking to an on-duty cop. He said to his friend, ‘I’m not driving so you don’t need to breathalyse me’! Then I was shifted to visiting a temple. I had managed to squeeze into a dumb waiter which was powered by two women who had to pull me up to the top of a bell tower. Once there, we looked down on the other visitors, who all saw us and instantly started to wonder how to get up there. The room became overcrowded very quickly, and I had to organise people so that we could all get back down in an easy and safe manor. Once I had returned, I had to find my friends, and was wandering around the hotel casino debating whether to eat first and try the hotel’s buffet or call them to see what their plans were. 

Tax Discs

I’ve just paid my car tax. It was a quick on-line affair where I handed over some hard-earned dough so that the government could buy more traffic cone farms. But the key difference this year is that I don’t get to receive a piece of paper to stick in the car to say that I’ve done it. So what am I supposed to do with my free complimentary tax holder? Surely it should now be illegal to display such an item to allow a greater view through your windshield? But no. Some organisations are recommending that you leave your personal details displayed in case of an accident. Some recommend holding onto it for nostalgia purposes; as there are actually people out there who collect tax discs and some will pay a fortune for some of the earlier discs. And as for me? I’m going to cut out the Batman symbol and place that there. 

The round robin...

In an effort to do more interesting things, I decided to support a friend who was starring in a community pantomime. I met with another friend and had an excellent meal; the Wetherspoons Christmas roast to be precise. Then we set off early as I knew that the venue would take some finding. After circulating the area twice, we still managed to arrive twenty minutes early; albeit to a fairly empty car park. However, inside were the production crew dismantling the set for the weekend. It turned out that the evening performance was for Saturday only, which my friend failed to inform us. Wanting to make the best of a night out, we decided on either bowling or ice skating; and a quick search on Google informed us that we were able to get to Solihull in time for the last ninety minutes of a skating disco. However, this was to be an ice hockey match in progress. So after a fifty-mile journey, we ended up losing our local pub quiz less than half a mile from where we first agreed to meet. When you try to make things happen, you just can’t win. 

Ulysses by James Joyce

Ulysses by James Joyce
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Joyce’s so-called novel is a complete rambling of life in early twentieth-century Dublin which follows the life of Leopold Bloom as he tries to survive in the world of journalism, though the people he interacts with all seem to be Irish Unionists intent on ridding the world on anything that is not Irish. It is on an parallel with Homer’s Odysseus. The only bit I really understood was Bloom’s dream of his ascension to sainthood, which is a very self-centred version of a future utopia; and that was due Joyce’s decision to switch from a narrative to a play script! The last narrative is clearly a rant of pure conscious and is of no narrative value whatsoever, and I can only conclude what is said occurs during intercourse such as it is with its climax ending. How it got so acclaimed is a complete mystery to me. Perhaps I wasn’t drinking Guinness when I was reading it?

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Caledonian Dirty Bear at The Bear in the Spa, Whitnash

After an afternoon meet-up, we decided to call into The Bear in the Spa for a quick pint. After arriving at the nearby Hungry Horse which had a very similar set-up; we got word that the plan had changed and trundled down the road. The pub had recently been refurnished and clearly caters for food; though we managed to find some comfy sofas for drinks. And for some reason they did not serve crisps; preferring instead to serve posh nuts and we tried three different varieties. Meanwhile the facilities were clearly from the previous pub’s layout. The beer was much to be desired, not off but very plain and clearly a session beer for the commute home. This in itself was a feat as the Europa Way roundabout to the motorway was all jammed up. Luckily I headed towards Gaydon then followed a country road down near Wellsbourne; which got me to the Longbridge roundabout and shot through Henley to reach home. 

http://whatpub.com/pubs/HOW/2291/bear-in-the-spa-whitnash

Christmas Karting

For our Christmas party this year, I’d arranged to go go-karting; as I’d become fed up with the traditional practice of going for a posh meal then ditching everyone afterwards. It was fairly pricey but it seemed to be well organized and they’d even arranged a trophy for the winner. But for a Christmas social, it wasn’t the best. I’d already doe a long shift at work and no-one seemed to be willing to take control to help me relax and get away from the afternoon drive. It was therefore a mad dash to get to the venue on time; but despite missing the turning I still managed to arrive before my manager. It was tight to park owing to the space that we had to leave for the storage containers that seemed to be dotted about the yard; and the track didn’t seem to be that big. We did get a lot of safety gear for our money; and the technical details were spot on, but there wasn’t really any opportunity for the whole team to socialise; as the second team had to climb into their karts ready for the next race while the first team were out racing. I also didn’t succeed in overtaking anyone; which affected my overall time for the tournament.

The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Nature meets mankind in this personification of conflict between democracy and dictatorship. The language is just beautifully simple and appeals direct to children; as if the professor himself was narrating it to his grandchildren. The plot is well thought out with much rivalry and conflict within siblings as is expected in families; something that each brother or sister can relate to. The beavers teach the children some very important lessons such as being prepared for an adventure; and at the same time we learn what happens by not being prepared through the misadventures of Edmund. Lewis’s attention to detail is second to none; and he has no problem describing woods, flowers, weather or castles in his descriptions. Yet there are similar parallels between Christ and Aslan’s sacrifice; it’s kind of an animalistic Easter story for children. The children have become saints and have been canonised throughout the land; and the story easily allows them to return them to sainthood when they return to Narnia again.

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#DW1

‘I don't believe it’.

‘It's true’.

‘Well, strike me down and blow me sideways’.

An electronic alarm sounds throughout the TARDIS as a sudden lurch throws Clara and the doctor to the walls. The doctor hit the wall face first; while Clara lands on top of him with an ‘oof’. A mug perched on the console flys across the room and smashes into one of the roundels;,narrowly missing Clara’s face.

‘Ah no’, said the Doctor, ‘this can't be happening’.

‘I’m OK said Clara, ‘it missed me’.

‘But that was my souvenir mug from Raxacoricofallapatoriuos’.

‘Never mind that, why have we crashed Doctor?’ yells Clara in annoyance.

‘Something must have interfered with the gravity stabiliser’. He pushes Clara to one side who gives a yelp as she rolls off him. He opens his waistcoat and puts on his sonic specs. After a few buzzes a screen on the TARDIS’s console flickers. ‘Hmm, it seems that we’ve arrived in parallel to local gravity conditions. I’m going to need more information.’ He climbs to his feet.

‘Doctor?’

‘Hello.’

‘You're standing on the wall.’

‘Yes, it appears so.’

‘How is that possible?’

‘I've no idea, but we're going to have to take a peek outside’.

‘Is it safe?’

‘I've no idea, there's just a bland grey on the video screen. Now get up.'

Bah Humbug!

So it's the first of December, and it’s already decided that the airwaves should be plagued with Christmas songs; despite the fact that the big day is over three weeks away. The plotting and scheming of how to spend twenty-four hours away from the shops has begun; even though some places will still be open. I've seen stair banisters covers with rows of Christmas lights and people filling their windows with flashing lights in December, and whole houses covered in a multitude of electric colours. And yet you're labelled a humbug if you haven't put your tree up yet, finished your Christmas shopping or even complained that it's too early. I've seen houses that have already gone overboard with Christmas lights; and it's great to see that people can afford to splash the cash. Honestly people, it’s just one day that you're forced to spend with the family guessing what materialistic items they've desired over the years. 

Hurry up and sort the trains out...

It’s been announced today that HS2 will now extend to Crewe ready for the futuristic date of 2027. Now I felt that we were very much deceived when we were told that Birmingham would be getting a new station which turned out to be just a new shopping centre. But to have to wait twelve years to be hurled around the country and have to be canned up like sardines before then is just too long. What’s going on? Why the long wait? And why do we have to tear up half of the country in the process? Surely we can just improve the infrastructure we’ve got? If the cross-city line can close for eight weeks to give us an extra twenty minute daily service; why can’t we have an express train? Perhaps we could get the platforms more organised where leaving passengers exit on one side and alighting passengers arrive on the other? Let’s get organised.

More trouble in Paridise

So Paris has been picked to host the latest climate change summit; and receive a host of protestors and campaigners in its wake. Police have already had to subdue the crowds with water cannons and tear gas to keep the rioters under control. But why choose Paris in the first place? Surely after the recent shootings the global community would come together to give the city a break and change their venue? But no, those extra security operations and fancy hotels have already been booked, so on with the show. I know that the everyday person shouldn’t be put off by recent events in changing their plans; but with an event that is known to attract protestors; you just have to ask why. And statistics are wildly off-course, my 1991 Blue Peter annual says that the fossil fuels would be running out by now; yet we continue to sell high-powered consumer electronics. Well, I told you so.

Heaven Sent Plot Holes...

I was shocked to see learn the conclusion of Heaven Sent that our great Doctor may be a hybrid created to destroy the Time Lords. To me, this makes no sense. The first thing is that a few  million years could have been saved if he went back for his shovel to smash through the ice? And surely the Time Lords would be aware of the Hybrid by now; since he ran from Gallifrey; so why are they so desperate to help him by restoring him to full health? And if the Time Lords are trapped; then hasn’t the Doctor won already? And why help trap the planet in the first place; why not let the Daleks do his dirty work for him in the great Time war? I suppose that the Daleks fear the Hybrid as they believe that Galifrey is already destroyed; but there have been no efforts to tame him to their will. Only time will tell…

Hobsons Town Crier at the Sportsmans Arms, Redditch

This month’s beer meeting was held in a pub that few would choose to venture into, but it was chosen for the fact that there was a private upstairs meeting room available, of which I wasn’t aware of before. There was a very strong smell of sewage as we entered the bar which we politely tried to ignore; but the emphasis for a quick meeting was the general consensus of the room. I had to make a few extra trips from floor to floor to supply extra chairs so that everyone could be seated, and it was only on the second run that the landlord offered to help. The beer was in good condition; but no-one was in a rush to get a re-fill as it was the only beer available. It was difficult to try and get the meeting to a full conclusion so that we could move onto the nearby brewery tap bar, as some had yet to make their visit. Being the last one to leave as I had to ensure that the room was tidy and also to thank the landlord, I was also the last to be served in the brewery tap pub, but at least I managed to get my loyalty card filled up quickly.

Christmas List

It’s that time of year where I’ve been asked to put together the dreaded Christmas list. What do I want for Christmas? Well, actually, you could just ask me rather than force me to write things down and save me the disappointment of the things that I didn’t get. Or you could just surprise me, which is somehow much more fun and festive. Lately, I’ve just been buying the things that I actually want to play with over the holidays; which might be a bit pricier than what people want to spend, and then I can at least own something that’s not throwaway or forces me to head back to the shop. Or I could give you next week’s grocery list? Most people would think to buy me beer, but usually it’s cheap supermarket bargain stuff that’s bland and not very adventurous. But forcing me to write a list? That’s defeating the whole idea of knowing me at all.  

Creature of Havoc by Steve Jackson

Creature Of Havoc by Steve Jackson
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Death turns at every corner in this roleplaying fantasy adventure. It’s a lot different to some of the other adventures, as though you are a powerful fighter; there is little that you can do in the way of deciding your own destiny. A lot of outcomes rely on the roll of the dice; not just in the combat scenes but in choosing which direction to travel as well. A large amount of the adventure relies on finding a relic which allows you to translate some of the coded text. And it’s certainly a risk to decide whether or not to perform even the simplest action such as venturing into a room or abandoning a feast. I wonder if it’s ever possible to read through the whole story successfully and meet all of the characters mentioned in the prologue? I think that I will have to create a map for each journey so that I can learn which paths loop or lead to certain death. I can’t remember ever winning.

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Purity Mad Goose at the Dodford Inn

The Dodford Inn re-opened in November and is under the ownership of husband and wife team Steve and Gina. The pub has undergone a complete transformation with a new bar, laminate flooring and pine furniture to give a contemporary open air look. Up to six real ales are available; and Steve hopes to run regular beer festivals and live music events in the summer. Plans are also being put into place to build an extension for a formal restaurant area. There are bar stools at the front of the pub for drinkers; while the rest of the pub caters for diners. French windows have also been fitted for access to the garden. I opted for Purity’s Mad Goose which was in excellent form, but at £2 for just a half it looks like the pub is certainly going into the gastro market. Blonde barmaids were abound everywhere, just like the old crowd at the Brook Inn.

We need more holidays

For the last year, more and more British retailers are taking part in the infamous Black Friday sales. It’s developed from an American tradition where many businesses are closed for the Thanksgiving weekend, and people are actually celebrating with family. Businesses start their sales early to clear their remaining stock to make room for Christmas items and new products. Over here, we don’t have a thanksgiving celebration; but we are still expected to work our arses off for pretty much a normal payday weekend. Even printers and car salesmen are having special weekend deals. There’s hysteria on the shop floor as people battle for basement bargains which they could pretty much have at any other time of year. And then there’s the Cyber Monday deals, which causes even more panic buying; throwing out and general waste. We need our own cultural celebration which should be St. George’s Day, and it’s about time we showed pride in our military heritage and make Remembrance Day a bank holiday too. It’s time people traded responsibly. But at least it takes the pressure off Boxing Day and New Year sales.  

Paris Attacks

I’m now a bit confused about the state of play in the Paris attacks, as I’m obviously not going to be glued to the screen every day to see the latest developments. What I’m most unsure of is whether or not they’ve actually got the bastard responsible or not. The media are referring to Abdelhamid Abaaoud as a mastermind, but it’s actually quite simple to manage a team of nine or more people. Some people do this for a living. After the police’s raid a few days later, there was certainly a delay in confirming Abaaoud’s death, and it was even reported that he may have escaped to Belgium. The frustrating thing is that the French authorities had already sentenced him to twenty years for previous foiled crimes, so how come he was allowed to roam about? If someone is a proven danger to the public, they should be taken away from the public. We need to stop spending on these individuals; they are clearly causing harm and distress and should not be allowed to roam this earth.

References

I’ve recently been asked to write a reference for a friend. It’s for a volunteer position at a library, and my friend has been undertaking some volunteer work on my committee team for over ten years. The post involves some manual work alongside working with customers. My friend was a bit weary of me mentioning what he does for our society; but I felt that that was the only capacity in which I felt that a reference could be useful. After googling ‘how to write a reference’, I put some text together. The e-mail didn’t say in what format was required, so I decided to just write a few paragraphs. I read through the job description and tailored it as best I could to adapt it to his skills. The only thing that I feel would let him down is the fact that he has no interest in the literary world at all. I just hope that there is not too much competition for him.  

Hex

I finally got round to giving Hex a second go. The first time I watched it, I dozed off while two of my friends were in the room. It’s a western where an outlaw seeks justice for the murder of his family while undertaking bounty hunting in the process. It stars Josh Brolin as an ugly, battle-scarred mumbling cowboy who I could barely understand; and had to rely on the subtitles to work out what was happening. Megan Fox plays a prostitute which barely creates a love interest and could easily be Brolin’s daughter were it not for the fact that his family were burned to death, and is only there to make the film look pretty. The plot is short for which I am grateful, and we only see two demonstration of Brolin’s unnatural ability to talk to the dead to obtain information for his quests. John Malkovich also stars as the film’s antagonist, and of course he always plays evil geniuses well. 

Church End Cuthbert at the Dragon, Worcester

I have been in the Dragon a number of times; mainly for its convenient bus stop right outside. It’s not a particularly well furnished pub, with tatty wallpaper and peeling tables which clearly show a long term occupancy. However, my interest perked up when there was scaffolding outside the building and just behind it were the words ‘Church End Brewery’ peeking out. The guy behind the bar couldn’t tell us much other than a full refurbishment was in progress; and we also noted that the famous board of banned topics of conversation had vanished from existence. Five beers were available, all from Church End Brewery, and the first one I’d ordered from the menu wasn’t available. I then settled for a Cuthbert, which one of the Worcester branch members bought for me before disappearing to the other side of the room. I then had to make my excuses as the meeting seemed to have finished; and we had all seemed to have gathered into a corner which I couldn’t get into.  

A Kestrel for a Knave by Barry Hines

A Kestrel for a Knave by Barry Hines
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This is the story of one boy’s attempt to take on the world. Trapped in a world where both his family and peers despise him; his only relief is taming nature in the form of a kestrel; affectionately named Kes. Here, Hines’s young protagonist excels and even wins over his classmates and teacher as he tells of the wonders of falconry which is his only escape from teenage life. However, the book soon tells of a Yorkshire dog-eat-dog world, where every effort made just results in rotten luck as the frustrations of adulthood are forced upon him. Although comic in places when the adults lay down the law; this is a true tale of heartbreak and despair as all of Billy’s efforts come to nothing and he is swiftly punished for failing to uphold his family loyalties. Eventually, he seems doomed to accept his fate without help or encouragement from his parents, friends or teachers.

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Pint Taken Winter Editorale 2015/6

Is it winter already? There’s no hint of a frost outside; which surely means that there’s plenty of time to relax with a perfect pint in front of a roaring log fire before starting the Christmas shopping? However, our good friend Jack Frost has become somewhat unreliable over the years; and as our last official white Christmas took place four years ago, it’s already time to start planning for 2016.  Where has the time gone? 

Of course, after Christmas comes the dreaded New Year Resolutions. After polishing off those bottled Christmas ales, many people choose to start the new year in a ‘Dryanuary’ state; which doesn’t help our hard-working licensees in the pub trade. So this year, why not join the Tryanuary movement? Why not make a resolution to seek out new pubs; or re-visit local pubs that you haven’t been to in a while? January is a great time to get to know new landlords during this quiet period; and you may be pleasantly surprised by what they have on offer. Or better yet; why not make a resolution to get involved with some of CAMRA’s campaigns and beer festivals? We hope that you find plenty of inspiration in this very magazine! After all, pubs aren’t just for Christmas…

From all at Pint Taken, we hope that you’ve had a great 2015 and wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Hoppy New Beer! And to the cider and perry lovers; WASSAIL!

Kendrick's Scrum at the Imperial Tavern, Worcester

On a windy Autumn evening, I decided to trek over to Worcester to meet the gang at their branch meeting. Black Country Ales have gone to an amazing effort to refurnish this pub; which was a former disco pub hangout. A large horseshoe bar dominates; with comfy seating at the front and rear of the pub were alongside a real log fire. There was a blackboard by the entrance which displayed the real ales available; and there was a large seating area at the rear for more intimate conversation. The locals seemed very settled yet friendly and eager to chat to newcomers. They had also done a fantastic job with the servery, making it look as traditional as possible. The beer was very smooth and moreish, and I would have gladly stayed for another if it wasn’t for the fact that the majority of our party decided to move onto a pub which has had a new owner.   

Doing my bit for Pudsey

I decided to get into the swing of things for Children In Need and bought myself a pair of Pudsey ears. I wore them with pride on Children In Need Day with pride at work; the only person to take pride in the occasion and step up. After about six hours the plastic started to clench into my forehead; so off they went. The following day, I downloaded what I thought was to be the highlight of the show; a Star Wars sketch with Terry Wogan as a Jedi and Warwick Davies attempting to find the biggest Superfan. Despite Alan Sugar’s attempt to sell him a fan, the sketch was a bit too short and lame; and we never even saw a fat robot with no arms get the chance to push the totaliser button. Lewis Hamilton was brilliant in his golf cart; and the chaos that Martin Freeman caused was fantastic; but the whole thing could have been a little bit longer.  

St. Austell Tribute at the Riflemans Arms, Droitwich

It’s always hard to try and get a good parking spot in Droitwich. My first visit was during daytime hours so I knew that I would probably have to pay; and headed into the Morrisons Car Park. It was a fair walk to get to this pub; heading into a street of independent shops and past a rough pub into a road near a school where classes had just finished. But I found the pub and had a lovely chat with the landlady about our upcoming CAMRA meeting who had agreed to put us in the back room. The beer was in good form and I sat near the window watching the locals come in for their after-work drink. So when it came to the meeting itself; I somehow ended up parking even further away; and completely forgot about the spaces near the independent shops. Even though the beer was still in good form; it was a struggle to arrange for the pub to have our meeting; as the back room turned out to be the outside smoking lounge and the landlady seemed to be popping out for the evening for a few drinks herself! Still, we got the job done.

Under the Eagle by Simon Scarrow

Under The Eagle by Simon Scarrow
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Scarrow’s historical account of life in the first century Roman army captures a great atmosphere of conflict and brotherhood. There is drama in both peace and war time; as there is always someone trying to better themselves over their peers. Though Cato’s love interest is kept to a minimum; there is always something for the soldiers to focus on; whether it’s getting to grips with their peers; raiding a German village; or preparing to invade Britain itself. It's always good to see corruption within there is as well; as Scarrow constantly keeps the reader guessing as to who is the perpetrator. The only downside is that there is very little character background information; as the narrator constantly prefers to focus on the here and now. It is an excellent first novel in the series; and I hope that Marco and Cato will go a long way towards the upkeep of the Roman Empire.

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Grainstone Cooking at the Corn Exchange, Leicester

Deep in the heart of Leicester is a Wetherspoons that I have always wanted to visit. Last time I got stuck in the one-way system; gave up; and parked in a side-street which happened to be a completely different Wetherspoons but was still worth going to. The Corn Exchange has always attracted me because of the large building that it’s in; and the picture of a large stone bridge over its entrance portrays the impression of going into a cage. Unfortunately, my phone battery was very low so my navigational skills weren’t the best when heading into town. This time, I found a third completely different Wetherspoons; but this time I was determined not to give up and asked for directions to the Corn Exchange. After some more wandering around, we finally found it hidden in the centre of the market place. It wasn’t an impressive building inside; just a two storey cotemporary decorated pub; with a large horseshoe bar. I find that horseshoe bars are difficult for the customer if there is a side which is unmanned; as you never know who is to be served next. My friend opted for a vegetable curry but wasn’t able to say that everything was OK when our waiter came to check as he hadn’t sampled everything on his plate yet.However; even though the service was a bit strange and my steak was a tiny bit grisly; I thoroughly enjoyed my Cooking bitter from the Grainstore brewery. 

Butterbeer at the Magic Alley, Stratford Upon Avon

As part of our visit to Stratford, we took a look inside Magic Alley, the magic shop in Stratford upon Avon which commemorates Dave Matthews’s The Wizard Chronicles. These books celebrate their 25^th anniversary; and I’d never heard of them until I set foot in the museum. The staff do recognise that Harry Potter is much mainstream and do sell some of their products; mainly of the sweet variety. I was really hoping to go upstairs into the museum; but instead we opted to go into the café and try a butterbeer. We were ushered into the back of the shop which had a small parlour; and was nearly like a private boudoir complete with curtains and velvet seats. My friend suggested sitting outside; but to be honest that just looked like their smoking area next to the bins. And the butterbeer; though non-alcoholic; was one of the sourest and creamiest drinks that I’d ever tasted. It was a sour creamy ginger ale with pumpkin juice. We drank quickly then headed off to find a real drink. 

National Space Museum, Leicester

Deep in the heart of Leicestershire lies a museum which is literally out of this world. It has a planetarium with amazing effects; lots of hands-on activities to keep the kid in me amused; and best of all; it’s educational! The National Space Museum is well worth a visit. There’s a giant rocket that you can climb through; interactive displays that need maintenance; and models aplenty to control (providing you can shoo the school kids away!). There’s a section of the international space station that you can walk through; as well as many other exhibits to crawl in and try on. This time, I was really looking forward to the space simulator; which I thought would be a video roller coaster; but instead turned out to be a stationary chassis that jerked violently as we turned an on-screen corner. It’s a great place to explore; but can be a bit boring if you’ve visited before; I think the only thing that’s changed since my previous visit is the planetarium’s film.

Old Bill's Grave at Holy Trinity Church, Stratford Upon Avon

We opted to go for a nice stroll round Stratford upon Avon. We walked through the town and down to the canal, then followed the river through the rec ground. Our plan was to catch the foot ferry to see William Shakespeare’s grave; but as it turned out we arrived too early. It was still very nice as we continued down the river with trees overhanging the banks; but I wasn’t sure where we could turn round as I’d never been this far downstream before. But eventually we reached a huge road bridge with a foot bridge running next to it; which made for a perfect crossing. We found the church which was currently undergoing restoration work; then headed straight for the tomb of the world’s greatest bard. Except it wasn’t really a tomb; but simply a slab in the ground alongside his other family members. The only thing that truly made it Shakespearian was the well-kept bust mounted on the wall. 

Highland Brewing Company's Scapa Special at the Square Peg, Birmingham

The Square Peg is a pub I’ve passed quite a few times on the way to other places, but I hadn’t actually been in for over twelve years when our university crowd used to meet up there for meals. It’s quite a narrow pub with a long stretch of lounge either side. It was quite busy for a Friday night as people were passing through; and the only vacant table I could find was in a corner reserved for the solo drinkers. The pub had gone to great lengths to showcase their choice of real ales; but as usual most people were leaning over the hand pumps to order other drinks not in plain view. The beer was in good form; a red bitter with a nice spice. I thought it was a new beer for me; but as usual there wasn’t enough time to glance at my beer tick list before getting served. I wonder when the pub's quiet sessions are?

Fireworks at the Fire Station

What better place to celebrate the English tradition of gunpowder treason and plot than the local fire station? Sure; there's no historical connection; but at least we’ll be safe while listening to subliminal messages about checking smoke alarms (which I still haven't done). We decided not to be cheap and support the cause by paying to go in for the best views and atmosphere. The display was excellent; though we couldn't get a glimpse of the fire until the very end owing to the crowds and how far away it was from the safety barrier. There was some excellent music to accompany them; and though we couldn't see the Catherine wheel at the start; they'd gone to the great effort of timing their show to the tunes. The climax was a bit low; we thought they could have done a grander display; but all in all it was a very enjoyable evening.

Solihull Beer Festival

I was quite looking forward to a session on my own at Solihull Beer Festival. It was in a new venue; and I had plenty to read through while I was there. The signs were good, a second train would take me onto Dorridge; and from there I would have a mile’s walk to the marquee at the cricket club. Two things that I didn’t think about: Firstly the size of the beer festival. As it was in a small marquee; there wasn’t much room for seating; and October wasn’t exactly the time for outdoor weather. Secondly; everyone who I ever knew in CAMRA seemed to be there; so I ended up chatting to a lot of people while not doing much at all. The novel thing that I enjoyed were the quotes on the door of the railway station waiting room; it seems that Dorridge wants its visitors to leave with a sense of education and well-being during their travels. 

Sadler's Mellow Yellow at the Wildmoor oak, Bromsgrove

It had been a long time since I’d set foot in Lorenzo’s bar; and this afternoon was a welcoming visit as I was to meet the CEO of the Campaign for Real Ale. Having only been given a brief suggestion of an itinerary; I was considering an afternoon nap when my phone rang to tell me he was en route. Fortunately, I had delegated someone to meet him while I jumped into the shower and raced across Worcestershire with my evening meeting plans. The pub was fairly busy for a lunchtime session; but we still managed to commandeer a large table while Lorenzo told us of his aspirations for the restaurant while being under a pub chain. The beer was in good form; but the best part of the visit was Lorenzo’s Carribbean Jerk pork; served on a sizzling skillet with rice, chips and salad. It was absolutely delicious. I was very tempted to bring someone the following week as they have an excellent vegetarian menu; but we opted for food closer to home on that day.

The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists by Robert Tressell

The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists by Robert Tressell
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Tressell’s novel of early twentieth century working-class society looks at the struggle of searching for employment in an increasingly populated town; where Victorians have strived for a better class of living through advancements in sanitation and medical well-being. It focuses on the beliefs of a group of painters; who constantly debate their social standing with each other and of their social survival within the fictional and aptly named town of Mugsborough. The colourful characters makes for some very interesting debates during their breaks of how society should be run. Frank Owen is the sole campaigner longing for change; but he cannot persuade his colleagues to take matters into their own hands and is instead forced to place his future in the hands of his better man. The descriptions are very detailed; as if Tressell is educating the reader of the behaviour of the working classes and leading them on a safari of their environments. Much mockery is made of working class life; but it does make for a very entertaining tale.

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Liberation's Sin Bin at the Penny Black, Kidderminster

This is a pub that I’ve been meaning to visit for some time. One year I came close and actually stood outside it; but my friend opted for another pub. So tonight I have finally graced its doors. The view isn't much; looking into a central pedestrianised area that's currently fenced off for development. There is also a derelict office building. But the local CAMRA branch has just voted it as their Pub of the Season, so now seemed a good time to check it out. I looked at the first array of hand pulls at bar; then searched for a second before realising that was all there was. Despite the small size; there's a lot going on; with a darts board; a dedicatedly  CAMRA board listing the committee members and an upstairs dining area. The  beer was in superb condition; and was  a tick for me as well,both off my beer and Cask Marque lists.

Cannock Beer Festival

It takes a great deal of time to get to some of these beer festivals; especially when there’s more than one train involved. It’s therefore really appreciated when you come out of the station and find signs pointing you in the right direction. Sadly this wasn’t the case with Cannock; and it was phones out to follow the blue dot along the line. Sadly, this didn’t take into account the fact that we were to cross four lanes of traffic on a ring road; but luckily I spotted an underpass in the opposite direction. With the venue found, we climbed two flights of stairs to the entrance; where we were greeted by less than enthusiastic volunteers. The bar staff looked even more bored; as there were plenty of them compared to the ratio of customers. And you had would have thought that they were able to pay attention to detail; but my first beer was indeed a short measure. The rugby was also attempted to be broadcast; but this was on a small set in the lounge bar. Here, I waited an age to get some festival food; and ended up with quite a nice hot dog after waiting an age for chilli with cheese and nachos to arrive. Amazingly, they had managed to get a cask marque certificate for the event; which was great news for us; a rare visit to tick. And the organiser came over for a chat to tell us about his branch; which was very appreciative. The Black Country band were fantastic in their warm-up song; but their main performance seemed quite folky and we decided to leave during their beer break.

Someone once said that Cannock was the most miserable West Midlands town; and I think I agree.

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

This classic American tale focuses on life in nineteenth century Missouri. Told in the eyes of Huck Finn, Twain adapts the traditional southern accent too; which can be quite annoying at times at it states the obvious. The humour and plotlines can therefore be very theatrical at times; which is connected to the masculine violence in the novel. Twain’s reversal of the adult to child authority creates some very comic situations, but he always illustrates that racial differences have both good and bad traits; and it’s all to do with character and personality rather than skin colour. The writing is very colourful and just flows, but is purely for narrative purposes and not once do we learn of Finn’s opinions or perceptions. In a way he leads a life of piracy; but in a more innocent manner owing to the events he encounters with American society, and of his Christian attitudes which is a delicate balance between survival and doing the right thing.

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Grand Central Station, Birmingham

It’s Saturday and our first visit to Grand Central Station. Confusion reigned as to whether the whole station had been rebuilt; but turns out it’s just the old Palisades upstairs. The concourse is confusing; it’s seems to be split into two separate blocks; all guarded by ticket barriers. Yet go there on an evening or weekend and they’re all wide open. You can quite easily see where everything was before; and the Tesco hasn’t moved at all. Yet it’s still a good effort. There’s a lot more choice in terms of small food chains; though how they can compete with each other as well as the city-wide chains is a mystery. But it’s nice to see the archway open up and you can actually see daylight shining through; it makes you feel a lot less trapped inside the centre of the city. Yet Kevin McCloud wasn’t impressed; even saying that the whole thing was dull and dirty. Again, he was looking at the station rather than the shopping centre.

Black Country Ales English Summer at the Crystal Fountain, Cannock

Our final pub was to be the nectar of Cannock; and the name of the pub made it even more of a shrine to visit. Nestled in the suburbs, Black Country Ales are well known for their array of hand pumps and interesting guest beers. This particular pub is listed as ‘Neo-Georgian’; though from the outside it looks like a bricked prison and the clientele hanging outside the doorway did little to improve its image. Inside, the counter is well preserved, but the room furnishings seem bare and cold. Live sport dominated the atmosphere, with a large group watching a premier league game and a second smaller group watching the rugby in the other room. There was little to invite us into the other two rooms of the pub, or even to advertise the fact that they were there. We did opt for a second half; but only because of the range of beers involved and also time was pressing on us for our train home.

Marstons Flyer at the White Hart, Cannock

It looked liked a typical local’s pub from the outside. Inside, it was a local’s pub, with a pool table and lounge TV area in the front; together with a second pool table and a conservatory at the end of the corridor; and a jukebox on the side opposite the toilets. And the bar was massive. But in pride of place right by the entrance were four real ales. Granted, it was a Marstons pub with only Marstons beers; even though it wasn't evident from the outside. The beer I opted for was called Flyer; one of the brewery’s Rugby specials; and it was in superb condition. They had really gone to great lengths in taking pride in looking after their ale, and even though it was a busy afternoon the licensee made a special effort to come over and say hello. I hope that more local people will appreciate it in the years to come.

All hope abandoned at the Royal Oak, Cannock

Our first pub of our Cannock tour was the Royal Oak so that we could start building upon our Cask Marque portfolio. Once we’d found it; it looked a bit run down. The outside walls were peeling and the windows were scratched; one was even boarded. Inside, the view wasn’t much better. A lone hand pump stood at the end of the bar was labelled with a Banks’s Bitter clip; hardly a welcoming sign of quality. The floor was sticky; the place was packed with locals either ordering food or hanging around the bar area. We were getting zero vibes of inspiration from just being in the place; so we instantly decided it was hardly worth the long wait just to be served with a half pint for the purposes of sampling to mark the pub as visited. Instead; we walked out the door; apart from the lone ranger of our group desperate to achieve one more scan; before realising there were better places to be explored.

The Iron Man by Ted Hughes

The Iron Man: [A Children's Story In Five Nights] by Ted Hughes
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This isn’t a story about the Marvel superhero Tony Stark; this tale is much older and has more depth. This classic science fiction story is so simple in its formation; yet has such beautiful imagery. The short descriptions in the tales make for perfect reading; and also allows listeners to jump in and ask questions at any time without interrupting long narratives. We do not learn of the origins of the Iron Man; we are simply told that he has arrived. The tale becomes realistic once the Iron Man is spotted by Hogarth; and makes the leap from fantasy to reality when the farmers find their broken machinery. The tale does get a bit far-fetched with the arrival of an alien space dragon towards the end of the story. It’s a shame that Hollywood has had to rename it ‘The Iron Giant’ so as not to confuse people with the Avengers.

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Adnams Black Knight at the Linford Arms, Cannock

This Wetherspoons pub was the smallest I’d ever seen! It had just one seating area away from the
main bar, and another lounge round the corner for diners. There was an upstairs seating area; but I thought that may just be for the toilets. The beers were all quite strong and from international brewers; Wetherspoons seemed to have rejected its Locale policy lately and gone for buying these ales in bulk; the main problem is that they all seem to be over 4.5%. It was also a struggle at the bar; with lots of people ordering food at the same time and only two people were serving; any more simply wouldn’t fit. The Adnams Black Knight wasn’t really anything special; just a dry IPA with an extra kick of strength. We couldn’t taste the promised chocolate as indicated in the tasting notes; and got out the map to plan our next venue.  

Hammerton N1 at the Royal George, Euston

Having arrived at Euston, I thought one last pub before the final trip home would be fitting. A quick search found that the Royal George fit the criteria; a Victorian brick pub just opposite the entrance of Euston Station. Inside; I discovered yet again that every table was full as many other people had the same idea to relax before the long commute home. I had also been tempted by food until I discovered that the pub’s menu was an identikit of the Taylor & Walker variety. I managed to find a spot at the bar which occasionally caused me to move as it was directly opposite the pub’s card payment machine. However, the beer was in great form, and I even managed to find a brewery that I’d never heard of, and it was local too. As I left the pub; it must have been a spot of gold as a rainbow formed underneath it! 

Pure UBU at the Salisbury, Charring Cross

My next pub was the Salisbury in the theatre district, and was also a popular spot; this time for leisure. This was a Taylor-Walker outlet; and despite the attractive Victorian horseshoe bar and stylish booths; it could have been any pub on the planet. Three regular ales were being served; and I decided to go for Purity. I ordered a half but was charged a pint. The barman instantly realised what he had done; but it took some considerable time for him to attract a supervisor so that the mistake could be rectified. Walking round the rest of the pub, it was hard to find space that wasn’t being occupied. Benches were full of pre-theatre goers enjoying a pre-show drink. It was certainly a pub for people to pass through on their way elsewhere; and I couldn’t see any diners or any signs of regular activity. It was a convenient location outlet for the company to increase their presence. 

Merrimen Merriweather at The Harp, Trafalgar Square

I was really looking forward to this pub as it was a former CAMRA Pub of the Year winner; even though the pub had changed hands from a pubco onto Fuller’s. The good news was that Fuller’s hadn’t restricted the new licensees on their choice of microbreweries. The bad news was that it was a small corner pub…and it was absolutely rammed. The bar was in a single corridor room; with a few tables either side of it. There was an outside area in the form of a corridor; though I did walk right past the pub before discovering its entrance. There may have been an upstairs drinking area which may have been quieter; but I wanted to stay in the hustle and bustle of the pub atmosphere. Unfortunately, it was office quitting time; and the pub was packed with pre-journey commuters. There wasn’t really any space to prop up the bar and engage with the regulars; and I was forced to hang onto a bench to enjoy my half pint. Beer was good; not in great condition; but tasted well.

Into the Belly of the Brewery

We were shown into our classroom for the day and were offered tea and biscuits; though we had to make our own brews. Then after going through today's agenda; we each introduced ourselves and named our favourite beer; though only one person came forward and named a Fuller’s one. Then we were taken into the heart of the brewery for a brief history of its formation. We were shown the traditional copper fermentators which looked fantastic; and also the giant plastic liquor tanks; which were far less pretty. We also had a quick insight into the laboratory; where samples of beer and water are regularly checked for quality and consistency. No taste tasting like the days of old! I particularly enjoyed watching the automated cask washer happen; it was great to see barrels of beer on the move! Sadly; their keg operation was a lot faster and had more people attending to it.  We finished our tour at the hop bar; where it was time for a glimpse of Fuller’s Breweranina; and of course some tasting as well!

Journey to the entrance of...Fuller's Brewery

It was a nice sunny day; and I’d actually arrived at the brewery despite the tube delays; and didn’t even get lost. I paused for a while in a park as I didn’t want to arrive too early. It was a good job I had a towel with me; as the park bench was sopping wet. I decided to try for a selfie of the brewery; though the angle was very hard to get owing to a busy duel carriage way right in front of it. Then came the task of finding the right building. The first place to try was the pub since that was the nearest place and it was also open; a rarity for 9:30 in the morning. Inside, breakfast was being served; but the barmaid had no idea of what was going on. Luckily one of the brewery workers was tucking into his breakfast; and directed me to the main reception. Here; I had to sign in and was given a pass to the main gate. After getting directions off the watchman and finding the accounts department; I finally arrive in the cafeteria where I meet the rest of the group.

Purity Brewery

On a fine summer’s evening in September, members of Redditch and Bromsgrove CAMRA got together to visit Purity in Warwickshire. Many of us had visited the brewery before; but since its inception in 2005 the business has grown and a large re-vamp of the disused barns on the farm in Spernall has now been completed. On our arrival, we were greeted by Tasha George who wasted no time in arranging some samples for us including Mad Goose, Pure Gold and Pure UBU, named after the brewery’s canine companion (Useless Bloody Urchin!). After explaining how the brewery was formed and the history of each beer; Tasha whisked us off to show us the mysteries within.

Inside, we were shown the hop store and the different hops that are used in each beer; then we headed upstairs to the malt room. It was here that we got a great view of the brewery’s shiny new fermenters made by Braukon in Germany. This has allowed them extra brewing capacity and also room to experiment with new beers. The brewery has also been voted Sustainable Manufacturer of the Year through using heat and steam exchange technology to reduce energy consumption; recycling their spent grains and hops; and have created a natural wetland out of their waste water which makes for a very nice afternoon walk!

After the tour it was time for some more sampling; with the addition of Longhorn IPA, Lawless Lager and bottles of Saddle Black. Tasha very kindly let us pull our own pints; then there was just enough time to visit the brewery shop before catching our bus home. Our thanks must go to Tasha George at Purity for hosting a fantastic evening.

Norham Castle

Five miles west of Berwick upon Tweed lies the ruins of Norham Castle. These remains on the Scottish border have tonnes of history inside of them. Its huge keep dominates the land which finally fell to cannon fire in a fifteenth century siege. A fortified gateway offers entrance to the castle grounds; where the Tweed runs into the moat alongside the brewery. It’s a shame that the brewery would be abandoned while the castle was under siege; however the defenders could use the brewery to their advantage by poisoning their beer before running to the keep; which would disrupt the enemy’s frontline if the siege was to last a while. The small chapel also has its own building away from the keep alongside the Tweed; to allow the occupants to worship and to mourn the dead during peacetime. It’s funny how English Heritage have taken over the site and offer free admission; yet try to close it over the winter even though it’s an unmanned site. Yet, they’ve still got their hands on it and have fenced off the higher areas of the tower. Despite this; it’s definitely a great pace to stop and explore.   

The King's Regimental Barracks

Berwick upon Tweed has had such a fascinating military history for such a small town; and one of the places where it all comes together is the barracks. This huge complex still has its traditional parade ground where troops used to practice drill parades and fortify the town from invaders.  Their exhibits depict war through the ages and the daily life of a regimental soldier, as well as charting the conflicts of the King’s Regiment. I quite liked the old-fashioned pistols; a weapon that’s easy to conceal and has many different designs; despite its purpose to perform just one simple task. However, little is shown of the barracks themselves; and you get a far clearer picture of how they helped to fortify the town by taking the walled walk. Here there are remains of gun mounts; you can see the traditional armouries; and admire the scale of the walls built to withstand enemy advancements. 

Berwick Upon Tweed Castle Walk

I had no idea how picturesque the town of Berwick Upon Tweed is. This coastal settlement has a fantastic historical town wall walk; where you can visit both the barracks and battlements; and also explore the remains of the castle. We followed a footpath through some parkland which descended to the Tweed then carried on into the North Sea. Along the way, we found the old castle walks and walked through an old tower entrance corridor. The remains of the guard towers are still there to explore. The walls are full of tunnels and ramparts to mark the town’s historic military past. There are also some beautiful gardens hidden in the hillside, complete with a pond and a Japanese pergola. Within the town itself, a fantastic town clock is perched upon a magnificent town hall building; its size respecting the size of the town but its pillars stand out to show the importance of the building. I would like to go back some day and do a complete circuit of the town. 

Lindisfarne Castle

Lindisfarne Castle must be one of the most isolated castles in the world. It has its own island which can be cut off completely by the causeway; and is built on a gigantic mound. It has a classic winding path climbing upwards; perfect for defenders to chuck rocks or boiling oil down on its attackers. There’s also a large cave area, perfect for a secluded secret dock; or to be used as a storage room for food during sieges. Its round towers offer views for miles around of both approaching ships and also traffic from the mainland. Eric and his Vikings would have had a hard time storming this castle! But if they did storm it; it would have to be during high tide so that reinforcements would not be able to arrive from the mainland. I’m not sure if that’s a flagpole or a transmitter protruding from its highest tower…

Lindisfarne Priory

In pursuit of St. Columba, we followed the eastern coastline southwards across the English border to reach Lindisfarne on Holy Island. Here we were able to drive across the causeway to reach the Priory. This beautiful twelfth century building has some amazing archways and pillars amongst its architecture, as well as the remains of the traditional chimney. It’s quite strange how some of the lower arches have been bricked up; though this is more likely restoration work to keep the structure standing rather than something sinister hidden deep within its vaults. There are also arrow markings on one of the pillars, as if constantly reminding worshipers to keep looking up. The gardens are well kept with hyacinth plants, and there’s even a lighthouse to climb and explore the nature of the North Sea. I half expected to see a rabble of rabbits hopping about, but sadly Channel 4 filmed that sequence elsewhere.

The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul by Douglas Adams

The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul by Douglas Adams
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Dirk Gently returns for another occult mystery; this time with the Norse gods, though he seems the only character to care as to why the crime occurred. The style of this book is a lot livelier than its predecessor. The conclusion is so abrupt that I didn't actually realise that the book had ended. I never could work out the significance of the eagles other than as a decoy to cease the advancement of the plot. And it’s a real shame that Kate never gets her questions answered; which allows Adams to stall or advance the story as much as he likes. In short, you have to become a detective to discover the narrative yourself. Still, the story does give some very useful life advice; such as what to do if you need your car fixed in a hurry; or what to do if you become lost down a countryside lane.

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The Lantern

Lights flash in a vertical pattern, slowly getting brighter and brighter. The torso begins to revolve silently in a clockwise direction. As it completes its first revolution, it comes to a halt. The triangular sections of the upper and lower panels of the light begin to fold outward. Two lights can be seen flashing intermediately; a blue light emitting from the top; and a red light from below. The room suddenly grows dark. An electronic siren sounds as the remaining light panels slide open; together with the iron railings below. As the siren ceases, a spiral staircase emerges leading down into the ground. Yellow lights replace red and blue, illuminating each step. The topmost panel flashes yellow. Then the opportunity passes. The spiral staircase descends back into the ground. The panel slides shut, and the lantern revolves once in an anticlockwise direction before coming to a halt and the light dims.

Prayer Wheel

On the ground floor of the National Museum of Scotland sits this very colourful prayer wheel. Rather than write their prayers down to be recited from; these wheels could mark the progression of a monk’s spiritual journey. Perhaps he is only allowed to turn the wheel when he or she has achieved a special stage in life. The carvings on each wheel means that the reader must take a precise amount of time to reflect on each symbol before they are allowed to turn each point of the wheel. Perhaps the wheel could summon a particular spirit or demon if turned in the correct manner; or reveal a passageway if turned in sequence. Perhaps treasure or ancient scrolls could be hidden in each wheel; or maybe the roof sheltering the rack could raise or rotate to be a wooden canvas, or be used as a boat. You could even spin each wheel to see what you’ve won from the temple; a line of five means you’ve won a goat!