Picture Perfect

A bit more thought needs to be put into photos that are taken for presentations, especially when they’re being used for external use. It’s not just a record of a visit that you’ve arrived to hand over a piece of paper in a frame, it’s to entice people to visit the place too. Of course, you could take several shots but you still need to be mindful that other people will see them, and finding the perfect background is essential. Make sure any external items are packed away so that people can see a professional background rather than the belongings that you’ve brought with you on the bus that you’ve quickly dumped to one side and just popped in to get the job done. A bit of editing wouldn’t go amiss either. Do you really need someone’s arm and watch hung into one side? Can you move people or objects to get the best picture? Or how about cropping the picture a bit?

Final Ascent

It’s a long stretch alongside the last couple of fields. There’s still a few cows in the way but they don’t seem to bother us. It’s a tight fit to get to the other side but there’s a stile and a gate nestled in between a clump of trees with a main road in view. There’s some lovely vicarages with some beautifully converted buildings but at the top of the hill lies the village church. It’s a bit gothic with the steeple dominating the horizon. Beyond the gates lies a beautiful view of the fields but staying on the footpath leads you down the hill and straight back into the woods. All you need to do is climb the stile and you’re back on the track to the car park via the pond. Hopefully your car hasn’t been boxed in and that your neighbours and the local dog walkers have been kind to you..

Perfect Patenga

It’s always a risk when you’re trying something new, especially with a new takeaway. Will they understand what you want without having any strange interaction on the phone? Will they follow your instructions successfully and will be able to find your property in a reasonable amount of time? Will it be a good value meal? However, you know you should give it a chance when you hear that some of your friends have frequented it. So I gave it a whirl. I ordered on what might have been a quiet time of the evening but a man soon arrived at the door with a smile on his face who was happy to deliver my food without stopping for a tip. I got what I ordered for a perfect feast. I ordered a bit of pakora which was too much for one person as a starter, followed by a very creamy dhansak. Unfortunately, I haven’t yet had the chance to use them again. It’s either because of repeat habits and persuading others to use their service too!

Locked In

It’s nice and cool down by the canal. However, it also means that we’ve only completed a third of the walk and we’re not hanging around the locks for long. A ten-minute walk brings us to our next footpath for our return route. Unfortunately, the farmer’s had other ideas and has decided to re-route the footpath for a bit, making it difficult for us to see where we need to go. After crossing the footbridge, we must make our own way by climbing over a gate to get back on route. We reach the grounds of Hanbury Park, where at least the footpaths are well maintained and if we head east we can’t go wrong and won’t need to rely on any signs. There’s a few cows lounging about underneath the trees but they take little interest in us as they’re too focused on keeping cool. There’s also some interesting logs and trees scattered about.

"Everybody has that point in their life where you hit a crossroads and you've had a bunch of bad days and there's different ways you can deal with it and the way I dealt with it was I just turned completely to music."

-Taylor Swift.

This may seem monodrone teen babble at first aimed at the self which just goes on and on, but it does have meaning. Sometimes you just don’t know where to turn, and it’s good to know that this happens to everybody (though I doubt it but maybe your turn is coming soon). Music can be a good distraction, but it may only aid you in your direction creatively rather than purposefully (unless you’ve found a specific track aimed directly at you). Depending on what you listen to, music can inspire hatred and anger as well as action and contemplation. It’s all about how you react. You might have earned the right to turn your back on a few things but others may think that you haven’t got your priorities in order. You can take things head on but you need to have the right frame of mind to do it.

Down in the Woods

There’s an interesting patch of countryside nestled on a main road linking a town and a village. It’s a clump of woodland that’s been separated by the road but there’s a car park built housed to host local walks around a nature reserve. You start by descending on a small woodland track and creep past a quaint pond. At the right time, it would make a great photo opportunity for some nature shots. After continuing on a woodland trail, we leave the reserve which is a shame as we haven’t had much opportunity to tour the rest of it and we wouldn’t want to miss out on any sights. A footpath descends through some fields which crosses over some stiles to the canal while giving you a view of the famous radio transmitter station in the distance. You’ve also got beautiful meadows and you may feel like skipping through them like a member of the Von Trapp family.

Did the Pages accompany the Knights far from home and into battles?

Yes and no. after all, not everyone is the same and everyone has their own set of circumstances. An old page though wise with access to a full armoury of knowledge and tactics, may wish to remain at home with his family and the knight allows this out of good trust and service and may appoint an apprentice in his place. Some apprentices would also be deemed too young to see combat and would be left at home to maintain the premises while the knight was away. Some would even flee at the very idea of having to ace danger. It’s nice to think that a page would be at a knight’s side at all times in battle, but this would mean that the page wouldn’t be part of an essential team’ he’d require skills for his own defence as well as being able to support the knight. In essence, he’d have to exhibit greater skills than the knight himself. In most cases, the page would stay hidden from danger, preferably at the knight’s side, and would only be called to the knight’s side when needed.

Barging Through

Who knows what these people who commandeer these vehicles are like? Most are friendly enough to give us a way, though they do see us like boats passing in the day as they continue their normal journey of life. Some will give the odd passing comment in jest while others are more serious about getting to their destination. And then there’s those who make the journey richer as we share in their special moment, though not everyone likes to do this. It’s a way of life for this boater since she’s got her own satellite dish installed for her TV and internet, and she’s quite confident in steering the boat without any help required from other crew members. She could be ferrying some goods down the canal after visiting the shops and it’s her only means of transport. She probably knows the landmarks well but not necessarily everyone that shares it.

The Best Film of All Time

You’d think that an AI device would choose a film that would contain the greatest merchandise and tie-ins. As well as being able to purchase the film, you’d also order toys and accessories through its channels, giving it greater wealth and purchasing power. It’s difficult to pick such an item so you then might want to look at the soundtrack or the theme tune. But the movie it chose was Back to the Future, which made for the movies with perfect pop culture references from a variety of eras with comic timely moments and scenes that a lot of people can enjoy and identify with, though it’s a bit strange that a loner has a scientist as a best friend. How did that relationship even come about? Perhaps Brown is sworn to secrecy until the time is right. There’s also some hijinks that would get you arrested in today’s society without question. The film might have been family friendly at the time, but it certainly isn’t acceptable now.

The Last Devil to Die by Richard Osman

The Last Devil to Die by Richard Osman
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Osman is a great storyteller of life and knows the ups and the downs, what you can get away with and when you should ask for help. The old gang’s back with their usual quirks, but there’s also a great sense of sadness as they have to deal with the scenarios that are thrown at them, and some of their methods can be quite controversial at times. There’s also some emotional moments to be had as we learn a little more about each character. There’s also the great sense of one-upmanship while still remaining English and being incredibly polite. The great deception is only revealed to the reader in the conclusion, without the awareness of the other characters which allows the saga to continue. But even after finishing the book, it’s not immediately clear who the title refers to, and it’s up to the reader to make the call. If you look at the cover, the devil’s horns could also be seen as quotation marks.

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Tidal Build #Vampress 15

The house began to expand. It seemed to be the draw of the town. People seemed to want to stay ear there as soon as possible. Properties nearby were bought out and turned into businesses on the outskirts and residences closer to the epicentre which were run-down at first then became more glamorous as the centre was reached. Then the houses seemed to join onto each other. All the while this was taking place, a tremor took place underneath the cliffside. Occasionally, this would cause a section of cliff to fall into the sea. Structural reinforcement was quick to follow, often at night immediately after the avalanche. The local church became engulfed by the new structure. The foundations looked to give it a heavy vacuity at first then suddenly it surrounded it, blocking any access to and from the building. Once it had engulfed it, it seemed to build over it until suddenly it was no longer on the landscape.

Best Foot Forward

I bought these shoes a long time ago. They’ve clocked up a few miles with me. They’ve lasted well for the money, and to be fair to them they were also very cheap. But now is the time where I prefer quality to value. Despite the distance that I’ve covered in them, they’ve finally begun leaking. I’ve had enough instances where I’ve been walking where my feet feel as if they’ve been through a pool and I’ve had to drain them off. It might be that I haven’t been spraying them enough with coating or I’ve knocked them somewhere which has caused a rip or hole to develop, but when it gets wet my footwear suddenly starts to absorb a mobile pool and my socks don’t look great afterwards either. I’ve also had to replace the laces. I do like the look of the more expensive trainer styles, but often I find that they don’t have the grip in wet terrain. It’s time to take a new pair for a test drive.

The Grand Budapest Hotel

This is a very surreal but comical film. I like the idea of it being a story within a story, but I feel that it’s just a screentime extension to the original story rather than adding any value to the plot. There’s a lot of cameo actors who play their part amicably and I love the way that they’re pursued in chases. I would have liked Revolori’s accent to have been a bit more Eurasian as it doesn’t sound authentic enough. It’s a shame that we didn’t witness more character development behind the scenes with the other hotel staff as this would have given Gustav even more influence. His language and opinions express colourfully how he feels about high society, but his departure is a tragedy and it’s only told in a postscript without any real screentime devoted to it. However, I do like the perception that everyone’s influence, no matter how powerful, eventually runs out.

Oh Buoy

It’s hard enough trying to pronounce what it is.  I’ve always said it with the U as that’s how it’s spelt. I’m told it’s wrong but being a landlubber who lives away from the ocean doesn’t give me many opportunities to discuss the need for a locked heavy-duty plastic ball which bobs up and down in the water as a reference point to some kind of zonal barrier. I wouldn’t know what the different colours are for either. There may be a key explained on a metallic sign back on land or an international code agreed, but it’s not in my knowledge and it doesn’t feel necessary for me to know either. The water could be extra deep or it could be signifying a rising bank. It could be an area to avoid or merely a point where I should turn around to record an estimated distance. It could even be adjustable depending on the circumstances. All I know is that it is there.

Runner Beans #dreamdiary 158

I’m in my local Wetherspoons with my friends. Oddly, all the tables are laid out symmetrically today to cater for four people per table. We sit down to order food via the app. The pub fills up very quickly. Even Stanley from the office has a table with his family. The food’s taking quite a long time to come out, and we’re all sitting there looking at each other trying to work out who’s ordered first. Waiters appear but mostly have drinks rather than food. Then our meal arrives. I’ve ordered a traditional Mexican chill with nachos and guacamole on the side. It comes on a silver platter with a pitta bread for dipping. It’s probably the messiest meal there is and I try to make a point of eating with a fork before giving up and just clawing in. As I’m dipping in, I’m realising that I’m the only person in the room who’s gotten their food. 

Silent Waters

Normally, this lake would be full of hustle and bustle. Today, it’s deathly silent, perfect for the ducks to venture as far as they like without fear of being reprimanded. Not even a plane is rumbling across the sky, giving them the freedom to fly where they like without having to hide from a noisy object that’s much smaller than it sounds. It’s as if nature is gaining confidence against mankind. How big will they get? Will they have the guts to attack when cars start flowing again and people resume attempting to man the landscape? Will they occupy the roads forcing drivers to come to a halt to find an alternative route away from their homeland? I wonder if anything lurking beneath the lake has decided to make an early rise. A fisherman’s even jumped the fence to gain access to the jetty for prime position, and there’s no-one to stop him since it’s not an essential position. Or maybe he’s there to keep the wildlife subdued. 

If you needed to hide a lot of money, where is the one place where no-one would find it?

Back during the depression, people would often hide their cash in their mattress or in a safe which would be hidden behind a painting. Nowadays this is rare as we end to be more trusting of our banks, and we rely on them to get a little bit of interest out of our savings. Those of us who are lucky enough to have savings are more likely to hold them in offshore tax havens hidden by shell companies. But there’s still an opportunity to keep a pot of cash completely hidden like treasure. For a while, food tins with a plastic lid would be a deterrent to intruders. But it’s still probably best to bury it. Unfortunately, it does take a lot of effort and you’ll probably have to create a map to leave the exact co-ordinates or use cryptic clues with solutions that only you or your loved ones will be able to solve.  

Must be the reason why I'm King of My Castle

It’s an impressive mound. The moat instantly alerts her to the sound of any intruders as they’ll have to work their way through the water first. She can also focus on the sound of any grass or twigs rustling, though it may be too late by then. The cygnets might also restrict how she can turn or lean forward to defend herself, but at least she’ll see the attack coming. The height also gives her an added advantage for a dive defence. How quiet can an intruder be? They’ll certainly have to get wet. The majority of the water is behind her so she can focus on spotting shorter attacks from the land. Here she’ll just have to lean forward to deliver a hefty peck, causing the invader to lose their footing and falling down the mound into the water. She does look very comfortable and holed up, though she’ll have to leave sometime to obtain food.

Blonde Barb

She’s a classic bimbo, complete with dangly earrings and all the trimmings, with short flat hair. Slightly tanned, she doesn’t seem to work hard at anything. She’s not afraid to whack on the lipstick. She typically enjoys bright plain coloured clothes rather than anything branded, then accessorises what’s on show with a bit of bling. She wants to enjoy life but doesn’t necessarily want to share that experience with others unless it’s in the family circle. She likes to make a bit of a show of herself with a red convertible but it’s only put to use around the town. She’s always on the hunt for a bargain, and will choose quantity over quality every time. She refuses to learn anything and always asks others to complete tasks for her. She talks in an annoying but slow clear loud voice which can even be heard when whispering. She’s always managed to see herself kept and looked after.

Enjoying the Trip

There’s an awkward step onto the vehicle that I drive. There’s quite a bit of height to enter the vehicle. On the side door, there’s a small step just before the cargo hold but if you’re not used to it you could trip and tumble over into the van. On the rear there’s a step just before the door, but it can get slippery when wet. It also doesn’t help that sometimes I drive different vehicles which have different heights and therefore there’s things in place or missing at times that make me misplace my foot, especially when I get used to a certain height. Exiting the vehicle can also cause an issue, and sometimes I land on the ground quite hard or collapse if I exit at speed without thinking. When I change vehicles to my regular car afterwards, it feels like I’m sinking in. I’ve really got to look where I step.

Letby Letdown

It’s a terrible shame that someone that looks so innocent and trusting has been found guilty of murdering seven babies. It’s taken time to get this resolved so that conclusive evidence can be gathered and not lead any mishap to account. Of course the individual should face the full extent of the law. But the shocking thing about it is how the system has allowed this former nurse to continue practising after not one but seven incidents. Where’s the accountability? It just looks as if no-one cares, especially Letby who managed to avoid being present during her sentencing. It’s as close to a public shaming session that our courts will allow, and now we’ll have to hope other criminals do it for us. Of course, for her safety, there’s always the option of changing her name once she’s admitted, but she may still be recognisable. And it’s incidents like this that force people to be more protective as they place less trust in institutions.

The Long Game

 Another classy area. It’s clearly not designed for large vehicles to come visiting to supply things, so finding a spot to turn around and much less put the van safely into a parking position can be a bit of a nightmare when there’s lots of parked cars around. Then you’ve got to work out the number system of the houses and find out where you’re actually going. It’s not a problem if you’ve got just one or two small items, but if you’ve got any large items it’s best to have a look around on foot before you do any heavy lifting. And one you return with the items; you’ve got to hope that they’re in so that you return emptyhanded as it would be a bit unprofessional to keep them waiting at the doorstep. But you never know. You might find an opportunity to park a bit closer. They might even come out to you but that creates a whole separate identity issue…

Indoor Snow

If you can’t have a white Christmas then what’s the next best thing? A plastic tub full of giant white cotton balls that you can use as snowballs! As well as making a great effect when entering a room, they’re of course great fun to throw at people with very little risk of getting hurt. It might be a bit different for any surrounding objects though. Structurally, they’re quite pleasing. They’re compact and don’t have any signs of fraying, and they’re satisfying to squeeze, just like a stress ball. There’s a small bit of weight to make e them heavy enough to soar through the air. And when the light shines on them, there’s a small shine as if they’re depicting real tiny ice crystals. You’re probably not going to find them all once your guests have gone home until about six months afterwards though, and that’s only if your guests are honest.

The Proof is in the Bag

 As I have no device to record the delivery of these items, I had to use my own phone to record which items were successfully delivered. It would have looked better if I had placed the items upon the doorstep, but at least my phone also recorded the location of where these photographs were taken. But what I couldn’t account for was the contents inside that scrunched up bag that’s been rattling along in the back of a van and it’s probably had a smoother transit on its journey into the country. The issue could arise from any number of points from the packing process at the manufacturer and at the depot, and all the shipping points in between. I’ve got no idea if there’s any parts missing or if there’s a completely different item inside altogether. And if a customer detains me to check, there’s very little that I can do other than take it back for them.

"Determine never to be Idle. No person will have occasion to complain of the want of time, who never loses any. It is wonderful how much may be done, if we are always doing."

 -Thomas Jefferson.

It’s nice to be idle, but it feels that you’re wasting an opportunity to get a task complete. Sometimes we’re forced into this situation at the expense of others, though with a smartphone you can always download something to aid you, though it might be slightly distracting you from what you should be accomplishing. You’ve just got to remember to keep the device with you, and be sure that you’ve got enough power to accomplish the tasks that you need. Sometimes you’ll want less time so that you can move onto the next task as there’s nothing to occupy you and you’re unable to move on. At other times you’ll find that you just don’t want your current occupancy to end, but needs must require to move on otherwise you’ll feel guilty of your other obligations. If you can find a balance between the two then you won’t be far off from achieving your goals.

Desi Pubs: A Guide to British-Indian Pubs, Food & Culture by David Jesudason

This is an interesting guide to another world of industry. The format of this book does get a bit repetitive after a while. It seems to be the same old tale of how the business was established and what life was like before the current owners got it going. It would have been nice to see more pictures of the outside of some of these premises, preferably without cars parked outside it, but perhaps these would be detrimental to the businesses featured. The author also may not have had the right opportunity to do this when he visited, though you’d think that a few visits would be required for a recommendation in a guidebook. I’m also disappointed that some of the beers aren’t listed, though that may not be the author’s preferred concern and would also be detrimental to some readers. But what the book does do is build up an appetite by describing some of the dishes to look out for when visiting.

What if a young girl didn't want to get married or become a Nun in the Middle Ages?

In short, they’d be forced to work. A maid would be the most common job unless they’d managed to learn a craft skill such as cookery, sewing or basket-weaving. Even then, they’d be under the guidance of an employer. Women’s rights weren’t great so they would have been tied to a master or mistress which wouldn’t earn them much as they’d have to pay for their board as well. Their freedom would be reduced as they wouldn’t be able to have a dominating decision unless they had their own financial independence. Parents would try to steer them into marrying to create a better future for the family. Some would even abandon or disown them if they refused to work for their upkeep. Marriages could even be forced by arrangement. I f they didn’t agree they’d simply be shown the door to the outside world and wouldn’t be welcomed back and left to lead a life of beggary or prostitution.

Green green grass

So what exactly is a sward? Apparently it’s an area of short grass which makes sense when you visit the place as there’s a few patches around in between lampposts and alongside the long stretches of the side of houses in between the junctions. But what other colours of grass are there? You might expect yellow or grey in the summer if there’s a drought, and the council might have undergone a special pledge to keep the grass green here all year round for its namesake (which is handy in the event of snow). But other colours would be something out of a science-fiction scene, though it would certainly be a crowd-puller if you’re trying to attract visitors to the area to sell houses. There’s even little alcoves to hidden houses. At the end the road backs onto a school which is a big turn-off for homebuyers unless it’s something you’re willing to reside there for. 

 

Make it Longer

Visions of inanimate objects flying around the room  will be ill-conceived. For starters, the device can’t see what you’re pointing at or even if you’re holding a wand. You’ll look stupid. Instead, a prank is played by telling you in a child-like voice that you’re not saying it right, and you need to make the phrase longer. There’s a theory that if you’re stubborn enough, you could get into a very long argument. Eventually, you’ll be sitting there holding a note for as long as physically possible until you get bored, run out of breath, or dehydrate. But the device just gets bored of your attempt and just cuts you off so you don’t even get close to attempting it. Rude. I suppose you could make your ‘aah’ longer in other ways. It's worth playing around with some of the other spells, although the American accent doesn’t justify the fun.

The Engine Room

Tucked away next to the house is a beautifully preserved red brick building which formally used to house the canal’s pump room for the lock. It’s odd that the canal is still in use but the reservoir is no longer required to top up the lock. Perhaps it’s because the tunnel is now complete. It’s got beautiful decking and picnic benches in its grounds, and at one time I’m sure there was a little café there that used to sell refreshments to passers-by. Perhaps this was when it was owned by a company. It’s now sealed off to everyone by becoming private housing. The only thing that remains to remind people of its history is a formal plaque on the towpath. Making these buildings into residences may make someone some money, but it also seals off the premises for everyone else to enjoy. With a bit more entrepreneurial spirit, it might have been possible to  have made the whole area into an attraction. 

 

Tent Vent #dream diary 157

I’m at a local music festival with a friend. It’s in the woods and there’s camping for attendees, even though I’m only a fifteen-minute walk away. My friend insists on separate tents but he’s also arriving late on the first day, so I go ahead and pitch both tents. I decide to give him the best one and if there’s any major problems with my old one I’m only a short walk home. Because of the last-minute booking, we can’t get tents next to each other. At the last minute, my friend cancels. The festival itself goes very well, and on Sunday morning there’s cars absolutely everywhere as people start to cart their gear away. I strike down my tent, but I can’t locate my best one. Someone must have worked out that the tent was occupied and has decided to cart it away. They’ve taken the tent but left the pegs in. Then as I walk through the local estate I find evidence of more bits of it scattered around.