How Royal Am I?

She doesn’t have an answer for that. Is it because she doesn’t dare because she’s heard or deduced my unpatriotic actions that occurred during the royal events? Perhaps the lack of certain anthems played on certain days has helped her to reach a decision. It’s more likely that the pre-programmed responses were an event which has now passed so the answers cannot be found. Or that they were taken down out of sympathy for the passing of Elizabeth II and were disregarded when it came to coronating King Charles III. I wonder what they were. Would I be asked a serious of questions about what I would be eating, how would I be celebrating and what I would be wearing on jubilee days? Perhaps the results would be determined from gathering my knowledge via an interactive quiz. Or maybe it would be based on how many facts I’ve requested about the royals (which is zero by the way).

Colonel Quackers

Right, what’s going on here? The humans are coming. They’re normally quite harmless but as a precaution we’ll prepare to evacuate. They usually get quite close as the path is narrow. If you’re nervous, feel free to dive into the water and swim away. But try and hold your nerve if you can. It might even discourage them from approaching at all. Failing that, and if you don’t fancy dipping into the cold, there’s a concrete ledge beneath the water which is shallow enough to avoid getting your whole body in. The humans might not even notice it from their height. They might even gasp and believe that we can walk on water. Just make sure you make ripples and waves otherwise the whole canal will be disturbed. We’d like to hold this position as long as possible as it’s quite comfortable. But if the humans being out any food, the whole flock will abandon protocol.  

Delivery Dilemma #dreamdiary153

I’m helping a delivery driver to make his rounds. He drives a truck and I have a bike, so I can get down the narrow lanes that he can’t. But my cargo is a curtain rail. I have to take this down a country road and deliver it to an army base. While I’m climbing a hill, I also have to watch out for vehicles overtaking me as I strive to remain in the correct lane. A gust of wind snatches the plastic rail out of my hands, and I watch as it’s delivered for me by airmail. I still need to make sure that it’s been received by a person though. I arrive at the base. It’s a big metal hanger with a gravel yard and there’s a retractable steel gate with barbed wire fencing on the top of it. At the end of the gate is a pedestrianised gap with no gate that lets me access the yard and walk through to the connecting road on the other side.

Canalside Capers

It’s nice to see that someone has taken an area and made it their own. It’s not only homely, it’s something that they’d like to share with the passing community to make the area look nice, and it’s equally hoped that viewers won’t make attempts to ruin their efforts. It doesn’t need much effort to maintain and it’s hoped that the canal will deter thieves away, although they could dive in or cross the locks if they really wanted to. They might even have a boat themselves that they could just moor up by the fence. Of course, the animals could deter real animals from entering the property, especially if they’re tending to crops and livestock nearby. It would be a great pace to store a hidden camera. But it s hoped that your idyllic leisure spot won’t be disturbed by others, and it might even inspire them to create their own too.

Growing Repairs #Vampress 14

The night trade also suffered. People wanted to get home as soon as possible, leaving most of the restaurants and taverns without business. Often, on a cold misty night, a faint moan could be heard across the valley, accompanied by some mild tremors. Once the mist had cleared the following day, there were clear signs of disrepair but no immediate effort or sense of urgency was made to repair it. There were also less people about but no-one really seemed to care. It was if the town had given up. All apart from the new house at the bottom of the cliffs. There always seemed to be a huge number of people assisting with repairs at all hours of the day. Most street traders made their fortunes by selling their wares on a cart or sending in supplies to the workers. And where the cliff once looked down on the property’s roof it now rose above it.

Back to School

The road is quite narrow here but there is a small stretch of glass should something unexpected come hurtling your way. The trouble with footpaths is that the farmers tend to have a habit of moving the markers or let them be overgrown by vegetation as they don’t like you walking across their land at all. Some may even put up obstacles designed to deliberately make things difficult to enter their property, and it’s worse when you’re approaching from the opposite direction which was clearly signposted. You’ll pass a converted house on your right and two houses on your left, then just before the road reaches a wooded layby you’ll see a wooden kissing gate on the left. This path will take you around the outside of the school grounds before depositing you in the churchyard above where you started. Then all that remains to do is to roll down the hill to the pub on the main road.

Doctor Who: Redacted

It’s a shame that they don’t make these radio plays more often. They’re good, even if it’s a show within a show. There’s great sound effects and there’s loads of previous references for fans to engage with too. The star of the series actually takes a backseat while everything else goes to pot mysteriously, which isn’t fully explained until the final episode. There’s still time for a few jokes though. But sometimes the trans theme becomes a bit ‘in your face’ with too many overprotective characters that think themselves bigger than they are, and it’s a bit unbearable. The annoying millennial attitude is a bit frustrating to deal with too, and you start to lose support for the protagonist. The plot does get weird in places with too many coincidences. And there’s far too much reliance on mobile phone sound effects between the scenes. There’s more than one communication method out there.

Those Malvern Hills again

You’ve now got a choice to make. You can stay low by the canal and be sheltered by the banks of the reservoir, or climb the steps to enjoy its view. Either way, as the lake pulls away from the canal, you’ll need to follow the incline and leave the canal behind you. It’s a shame that you can’t complete a full circuit around the lake as it’s reserved for private use. Instead, follow the lake south until you reach a gap in the field, you should then be able to turn left and slowly climb the hill to gain a lovely view of the Malvern Hills in the distance. You can see them everywhere from here, all you need is a little bit of height. At its summit, the track will reach a gate which joins onto London Lane. Here, you need to squeeze through the gap (the farmer may have left the gate unlocked) and turn left onto High House Lane.

I blocked someone. I thought he would ask me about it, but he just blocked me too. What should I do?

At first glance, it all seems a bit childish. But then it depends on what your definition of blocking is. If it’s a case that you’re no longer going to communicate on social media any more, then so be it. But if you’re going to ignore that person entirely in person, that opens up a whole bunch of problems, especially if you know and are expected to work with them. You obviously know this person as you’re expecting them to enquire about it in a medium other to what you’re using. The odd thing is how you’ve discovered that they’ve blocked you as you wouldn’t be receiving any notifications from them anyway. The only way for you to discover this is that you’ve obviously asked other people about it. If you care, then you should really speak up and work the issue out. Or you could ask yourself whether you value it and carry on as you are.

Locking Good

You can park the car at the church. It’s a small round car park at the top of the hill. If there’s a service or near to the school times, you can usually get away with parking on the hill. In the lower corner of the car park is a kissing gate. Pass through this and follow the well-defined track down the hill to reach the canal, keeping an eye on the sheep. They’ll generally make way for you, but there’s still the odd adventurous one, especially if there’s lambs involved. Cross the stile at the bottom of the hill to reach the canal. Once you’ve had your fill of the narrowboats, head east by keeping the canal on your right. After the second bridge, you’ll reach the old lockkeeper’s cottage, and if you’ve timed it right, you’ll be able to purchase refreshments if required. Pass the next two set of locks.

The Moaning Manager

He appears rather shrewd. Alert eyes and a big Dad nose make him very observant, but he never acts on it. He’s keen to do the bare minimum in his own time. He rarely breaks out a smile. He always talks in a whiny voice which always seems fed-up or in a sulk. Hie keeps his clothes in good shape, but the same can’t often be said for him. He enjoys his food and his gullet clearly shows it. He’s always keen to seek fault but never praise. He’s clearly not here for the customers. In his downtime, he’s happy enough wearing a bit of bling alongside a t-shirt and tracksuit bottoms, even though his bank account has never seen a gym membership. If asked out, he’ll wear a checkered shirt and trousers. How he landed his wife is a mystery, but he’s definitely a family man. He’s gone after the big bucks.

Tardebige Totter

Just a stone’s throw away from the main road set between two major towns is the village of Tardebigge. Many pass through it when they fancy a country drive without using the dual carriageway, but this sparse area has a lot to attract. Its major employer is the soon to be closed prison, but its surroundings offer craft shopping and hospitality in the form of its nearby pubs and restaurants. Look beyond the main road and you’ll see a whole network of footpaths to explore connecting a canal and two towns. It’s major claim to fame is its tunnel which you’ll pass over without even being aware of its existence, and its flight of thirty locks to slowly help narrowboats climb the Licky Incline. You’ll also spot the spire of the local church from a distance, and it’s this spot where it’s best to start for a scenic walk of the area.

Water, Water, Everywhere...

…but is it the right kind of water? When you’ve got water in unwanted places, it shows that someone has failed in their job to battle against nature. There seem to be an increase in fines issued to the companies responsible for the network. It could be a flood in someone’s business or pollution in local beauty spots, but the error is causing distress to someone. Are these companies being mismanaged by putting profits before responsibility? Has there been a cost-cutting measure in techniques or materials? Or is it a battle of man struggling to keep up with nature? Despite whatever disaster occurs, we still need them to operate to get the right people that are required to keep our services running. They’ll get around to it one day. It could just be a shortage of engineers who can pick and choose their shifts to suit as their skills are in high demand.

The Illustrated Man by Ray Bradbury

The Illustrated Man by Ray Bradbury
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

It’s another set of short stories that have very common themes and perspectives to the others. None of them particularly stand out as memorable. It was a shame that each wasn’t interwoven to a theme at the end. However, there are some great ideas that others have built upon, like a house of the future, what happens when you know it’s the end, and viewpoints from the other perspective. Space is to be explored as well as to be conquered. But what Bradbury does try to do is display a world of the ordinary when trying to predict the future. They’ll still be families and ranks and people of authority. But there’s always a tone of sadness and suffering and never any humour in his works, and his characters are only concerned with what happens next to their nearest and dearest without considering the bigger picture. Though you could probably make a full story with The Fox and the Forest.

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The Passion of the Flower

Having a plant delivered by mail can seem a bit strange, especially if it’s from a territory that’s not land-adjacent to your native home. But at least this was through a well-known platform so there was a bit of reassurance of getting my money back if all I received was a bunch of twigs in a tube. It certainly arrived wrapped up that way. As it was winter, I persuaded my brother to hide it in his conservatory so that it would have a chance of keeping warm until it was time to give it as a gift. He must have looked after it well a that plant is still going well today. He even asked me to order one for himself, although his plant died earlier this year, despite having a lot more buds on it than ours. This replacement plant looks to have died before it started though.

The Tramp's Trampoline

It’s amazing what you can find lying around. Someone’s having  a clearout. It’s nice to see that in a time of greed, someone’s willing to do a good deed to a stranger. It’s a simple act of kindness that’s saving them some space but it’s also bringing joy to others, though it does look a bit knackered and you’ve got to wonder if it’s better used as scrap or spare parts. There’s a lot of netting that could be used, though some of it is torn. The rim doesn’t look great either. It would certainly make a comfortable bed for someone, though you’d have to inspect it first. It’s whoever gets to it first wins, and even if you spot it you’ve got to be quick arrange transportation and stay on guard before someone else is able to mobilise themselves. It might not be lying around for long. It’d be nice to think that it does find a new home without making someone some fast cash.

 

England's National Bird

When you think of national birds, there’s the kiwi which is obviously New Zealand, the bald-headed eagle for our American friends and the next famous would be the Australian emu. But what about here in Blighty? It’d have to be a bird that puts up with the cold and doesn’t want to migrate every year to stay warm. It’s the one bird that’s featured on the Christmas cards which makes all the other birds jealous as this species is given special status. And if you own a garden and feed the birds, you’re bound to see one of these each day throughout the year. It’s the humble robin, or European robin to be precise, which is perhaps why it doesn’t have an official listing. Rather than opt for a bird that’s sturdy or known for its toughness, we seem to have been allocated one that’s cute and cuddly. But if you investigate its characteristics, it’s very territorial and isn’t afraid to attack other species. It’s probably because everyone believes they are cute and cuddly and harmless…

Easter Money

It’s Easter but not as we know it. Shops have radically stocked up their shelves full of cardboard eggs but no-one is able to visit anyone so no-one’s bought their usual extra gifts to give to relatives and friends. My friends are putting out messages to say how they’re combating the isolation so I’d thought I’d join and share how I’m spending my time. Here I am in urban Oxfordshire dressed up with bunny ears to bring a little cheer and humour to the homes that I deliver to. Few people can comment directly as I have to leave their package on the doorstep then ring the bell and take a few steps back to comply with social distancing. My friends weren’t too impressed. Maybe it was because I was allowed out and they had to stay at home, even though it wasn’t like I could choose where I had to deliver to.

A Choice at Christmas #dreamdiary 152

I’ve been at a meeting at Newcastle all day. I’ve got a long train ride home and have to hope that there’s no problems with my connecting train, and I’ve prebooked a seat on an earlier service. My friend suggests a pint at a nearby Wetherspoons, but I’m a bit reluctant as it might be busy and I’ve no idea if he’s planning to catch the same train as me (in which case I’ll have to quaff quick) or catch a later one. I follow him through a crowded concourse but I’m distracted by the novelty of the Christmas atmosphere and I lose sight of him while being fascinated by people ice skating across an obstacle course and an elegant tearoom ride on the twisting deck of a galleon. I get my phone out and try to work out which is the closest Wetherspoons before realising that it may not be the one he's heading to. 

Redditch Positivity Rocks

Everyone’s stuck at home. They can’t go out to socialise with anyone outside of their family circle. They’re only allowed out for exercise. There’s only electronics to keep everyone entertained. But if you feel a bit creative, you could always paint a rock. You could express a message of positivity or you could tailor it to something you value or something others recognise. Imagine if everyone did the same thing and came together to lay their stones side by side across on of the town’s major country footpaths. The result is a huge trail conveying messages of positivity and hope. Even if you don’t contribute, it’s worth witnessing for inspiration. Kids have added their stones to the trail only to return a week later to find that it’s grown and take great pride in finding the spot where they laid their stones. The best ones have now been gathered and preserved in a display outside the countryside centre.

"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future."

-Steve Jobs.

It’s not good news for people who are fans of linear travel. If you’re taking transport, then the logistic is fairly simple and you would technically have to wait for something to come back to you and stop in the right place. But if you’re venturing out into somewhere that you haven’t been to before, you’ve got no choice other than to move forward and ask around, though you might be able to do some research first or borrow off other people’s experiences. Trusting isn’t good enough. You’re going to need a plan to succeed. Because if you’re just hoping that things will turn out the way you want, it’s a big ask. You’re going to have to put some effort in. You’re going to have to make those connections to make those dots join up and make them circular, or at least make them flow in the right direction.

Desperate for a Onesie

I’ve lost track of when things are closed and open. Because I’m still working, it just feels like a normal day only there’s less people around. To lighten the mood, the company has decided to have a dress-up onesie day where we all come in wearing onesies and nightwear to wear money for charity. It’s a bit pointless as I’d only have to wear it while I’m in the building where only my colleagues will see it, and once I’m in my vehicle I can park up somewhere and change back into my regular clothes. Typically, they’ve chosen a day when I’m not working. I decide to get in on the action anyway and I send a selfie to the group’s WhatsApp. As it’s the shit emoji, I even hold up a toilet roll to go with it as if I’m attending a music festival. No reaction or comment whatsoever.

Inventions

Many people believe that inventions are made in a laboratory by people in lab coats handling test tubes of bubbling gases. But most ideas are thought up in a completely different environment. It’s usually someone at home tinkering away in a garage. The key is getting people to invest in your idea so that you can purchase materials and time to build a prototype to market it into a product and convince someone that it's worth their time and resources to purchase. Take strawberry- flavoured sellotape. It's an idea of mine that's been floating around in my head for years. It's sticky and sweet without that gluey flavour. You can Google it and find sweets and patterned tape, but you can’t find what you’re really looking for. It's ideal for people who cut tape with their teeth as they’re always hunting around for the scissors. You could make it scented too. You could argue that it's not required, or you can buy tape on a roller with a cutter on the end, but you're still going to need refills. And imagine climbing a ladder only to find you left your scissors on the ground. There’s no-one about to hand them up to you, so you make the best of what you have rather than put effort into other resources, though you have to savour a gluey bitter taste.

Erratic Evesham

Once again I’ve been given a dodgy postcode which points me to the general area of where I need to be but the building I seek is nowhere in question. This time, I’m in a side-road in Evesham, and I’ve received a bit of help from a colleague who’s been here before. It looks a bit rundown when you think you’re not very far from the centre of a historic market town. I guess the town grew and the streets weren’t designed to cope with modern living. People will live anywhere nowadays and they tend to live where they can afford, be it in cheap housing, large fancy estates or interesting featured properties that were once businesses. All of which need modern facilities for utilities, parking, security, and road access. Roads become access points to accommodate modern life but it’s an eyesore as the focus is primarily on the other side where the bulk of the traffic is.

 

Mission Impossible: -Fallout

You never know for sure who the bad guys are in this film and what their motives are and who they report to, but you can have a good guess. I really don’t see how an uncooperative relationship with your supervisor or in this case babysitter could be any more unconvincing with Walker’s elitist attitude and uncaring response towards a favour. There’s a lot at stake, but the technical stuff makes sense and is easy to follow. But there’s some great comic moments supplied by Pegg, and the set-ups with masks and sets are quite unpredictable too. There’s also some great locations. Stunts are plentiful and are unique, and when they’re not happening there’s generally a great deal of drama and suspense to observe. It’s all done very professionally and there’s hardly any diversion to get the girl since everyone is involved. You’ve just got to wonder if Hunt can ever say no.

Jibba Jaffa

They just can’t stop making new and refreshing flavours. The manufacturers are currently trialling cherry ones. I wonder what they’d be like with a chocolate filling rather than a fruit syrup. It’s only the original ones that you can buy in giant tubes for Christmas. I find that the twin pack is usually the best value anyway, and their packaging makes them easier to store. Maybe they could grab the icing bag and put patterns on them or make a fruit yoghurt flavour. They should try to liaise with Lucasfilm to see if they could rebrand them Jabba cakes for Star Wars Day and see if they can pick up any international recognition. And if they wanted to reincarnate Aladdin, they could rename them as cakes of Jafar as one of my former managers used to refer to them. You could also tie them in with any Disney show or film that links with Hawaii because of the palm trees. You could even include action figures and Aloha music every time the box is opened. 

 

I Feel no Sympathy for the Homeless because I feel it's their own fault. Are there examples of seemingly normal and respectable people becoming homeless?

Yes, lots. You can try and prepare for everything and have insurance in place and good links in society, but one natural disaster could destroy your life in a nutshell. People would be keen to support you and help you get back on your feet, but you’d still be technically homeless even if you were put into a hotel. A home isn’t just a sheltered bed, it’s security. And life gets unnerving when it’s taken away from you through no fault of your own because there’s not enough resources and you’re told that you’re not a priority. It’s not right to just look at them and say that they didn’t try hard enough, however they still need to be helped the right way rather than have money thrown at them. People try to succeed, not to fail. And if it does happen, they need somewhere to start rebuilding their lives again.

The Red (on) Lion

I'm not sure this platform was of any use. The novelty of it was nice and you could buy your friends a round of drinks and raise money for charity at the same time, but it wasn't an environment that was well used to meet strangers. Developers had it up and running very quickly, but most people had already cottoned onto more established platforms to meet with their friends, so it was only the lonely and those who wanted to make contact with strangers that found this useful. It was novel when we wanted to hold our formal meetings, but in the end we were paying for our own platform. You could choose to sit at the public bar, have a quiet conversation in the lounge or book your own table and invite others to join you. Members really got into it and even started asking the landlord what beers and food were being served and successfully got it drafted into the Good Beer Guide.

Close Camping #dreamdiary 151

I’m off camping with a friend. We both have our own gear, and there’s very little parking near where we’re pitching the tents. He chooses to carry his gear up a massive hill, while I put mine into a shopping trolley and push it to the site. When I get there, there’s very little room to pitch because of a music festival involved, and there’s already someone complaining that they don’t have their own private area. I pitch up and start to grill burgers on a disposable barbecue then realise that I’ve left the buns at home. I head back to the house, and there’s loads of guitar bags left outside in the middle of the road. There’s a street festival happening here too. I’m then invited to watch two different chat shows at two different TV studios that are happening at the same time I need to get moving if I need to make either of them. Luckily, there’s an e-scooter for hire nearby.

An Appetite for Ale by Fiona & Will Beckett

An Appetite for Ale: Hundreds of Delicious Ways to Enjoy Beer with Food by Fiona Beckett
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I thought this book was aimed at people who wanted to use beer in their cooking. There are a few recipes that tell you how to do that alongside other beverages as well. But a lot of the content is devoted to flavours to compliment the beer. A lot of ingredients are involved which requires a good food knowledge and some of them aren’t necessarily available in the local supermarket. Some of the recipes also require a fully stocked kitchen with many devices, as well as a good knowledge of preparation techniques that you might have to seek out elsewhere. They also take time and that little bit of extra effort to get the best flavours. The photos do look appetising, and there’s a large range of foods to try to suit many palettes. A style of beer is suggested, but it’s your job to try the perfect match. I will get round to trying one out one day, probably starting with the Barm brack.

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