Dancing through the Decades

This was a show put together by a local dancing school. Each song was performed by a different team which exhibited different skills. There were at least forty dances. But I wasn’t there for the performance. I was there to support my two nieces who had worked so hard on their routines to get the chance to be on stage. Unfortunately, it turned out that they would only appear in three of them. Luckily, we had a programme to help us work out when they would appear. It was obvious that some of the girls were only there for the fun, and some of them did daydream on stage a bit. And I had to cringe when the adult tap dancers came on the stage. I instantly pictured hippopotamuses in tutus. The tots were very cute though, and they had instructors to help them along the way. At the encore, I stopped counting at 150 dancers. We think we spotted a tween and a young boy amongst the crowd. It was a fair show.

The Book of Useless Information by Noel Botham

The Book of Useless Information by Noel Botham
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

There are facts to amuse your friends and gross them out as well as fact that make you go hmm. There’s some that make you wonder and others are so obvious that they’re just statements. I don’t know how old this book is but some of these facts have surely been superseded by now. Very few of them are from this century, and a lot of them may be handy for pub trivia and to wow your friends, but you can’t rely on them. A bit of research will tell you that some of the are urban myths. Some of them are just useless just to get you to do daft things like stick a finger in your glass of beer. And there’s even facts which contradict each other just a page apart. There is an attempt at themes but the layout causes the narration to fall at an odd tangent and subjects will often repeat themselves. Even the book itself deems it to be worthless in its conclusion.

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The Pyramid #dreamdiary 134

There's a large stone-grey pyramid in the middle of a flat sandy desert. UNIT have been abseiling on it to determine its origin. Meanwhile, Pond has commanded a squadron to explore the inside. A cave-like tunnel has opened at the corner of one side with a mixture of sand in the ground and black boulders mount the walls. It's as if the pyramid crashed on its side and the contents of it have spilled out. Amongst a series of spotlights that UNIT have set up is a sewer-sized tunnel at the end which just points up. Pond has entered through these tunnels with the smaller members of UNIT in her wake. Two things come to mind. The first is that she feels that her objective is to crawl through a network of pipes above a layer of sand which will lead to a control centre at the summit. The second is that despite the tunnel changes at different right angles, there always seems to be a gathering of natural light at each corner. Is there something in the shadows? Perhaps the Vashta Nerada are involved. Meanwhile, The Doctor has been observing weather patterns, specifically wind. He matches the pyramid’s landing pattern to a series of tornadoes and follows these to a nearby town. This leads him to a local football team who trains on an open pitch and witnesses one team member who can manipulate the local gravity fields to make footballs orbit them. 

Sunset in Shanghai

Today we started our epic journey to mainland China. It would take a train, a bus, and a plane before we’d touch down on Chinese soil. Ironically, we called into a pub in our regional Chinese quarter for breakfast before the second leg of our journey to the airport. Then, once we’d established our check-in counter, we sat at the end on closed check-in counters eating M&S Christmas sandwiches. We met our guide when the counter opened as well as some of our fellow travellers. Once we’d been screened, we settled into the lounge and I decided to explore the viewing tower. It was a shame that it and been vandalised and the sponsorship had been withdrawn. Planes were landing every other minute but I had no idea where they were coming from. I wondered if I’d be sharing the flight with a bunch of chickens in cages, but I was disappointed to see that it was like any other airliner. Maybe there would be an opportunity for that later.

 

Lights Out #vampress 5

Very little light was reaching the group. They weren’t sure whether to fan out and explore or remain close together for safety. All that they could see in front of them were black shapes moving but they had no idea what they belonged to. Sometimes they felt that the objects were that close they were slightly brushing their shoulders. After some time, they realised that nothing was happening if they stayed together, but they weren’t making progress either. They slowly fanned out into a circle, making sure that they could see each other. Sometimes they felt a light touch on their back but when they span round there was simply the shadows from their neighbour’s torch. Eventually they fanned out until each of them was a faint glimmer but they still hadn’t found an opposing wall. Then each distant torch began to flicker and it got longer and longer before each man could spot his neighbour. Suddenly, they all went out. 

Changing Rooms

This is the last time that I captured our traditional kitchen. It’s over forty years old and it was hand-fitted by my Dad. The colour scheme might have been a statement back in the day, but all the fixtures are beginning to fall apart now. Tiles are beginning to crumble and parts of the breakfast bar are beginning to get chipped. Apart from the faded wooden shelves and decaying cookbooks that are no longer referred to, it’s amazing how clean it’s managed to stay. There’s an ancient tin opener hanging up on the walls that now requires an effort to operate and it’s much easier to use a hands-free battery-operated one. There’s also plenty of tat mounted on the walls, mainly from my nieces who want to see it on display each time they come to visit. It’s a blend of the practical and the decorative. I wonder what will take priority when the new units are in place.

Missing Link

Someone’s e-mailed me an interesting article. It’s on social media, but instead of taking me to the article, I have to go through the palaver of signing into the media platform. Once that’s done, the social media isn’t interested in showing me what I came to see. Instead, it just wants me to focus on its changed terms and conditions before taking me to its home screen. I then have to go back into the e-mail and click on the link again which takes me towards the article, but guess what? It’s a link on the social media page. Then after reviewing the cookie policy, I finally get to read the story which turns out to be nothing new for me other than a shortage of ingredients to manufacture a product that I use. It might have been useful to know, but fortunately, I’m still stocked up. It’s just simple clickbait to get me to sign into another social media platform.

What We Can Make

The rain had caught up with me and it began to show in the reflecting pool. The grass looks real enough though and the sun is still trying to break through. The water looks as though it’s fed from the penultimate bottom level rather than flowing all the way down. Hopefully it’s not controlled by the building springing up behind it. It might have been re-laid when they dug up the area for the car park. It’s great that the clouds are also reflected. You may not necessarily see them with a roof hanging over you and the hill blocking the upper view. I wonder if you can access the back from anywhere or will be fence off with a door just for maintenance staff. I can’t see them letting people walk around the wet rock and getting that close to the pond, but it’s worth exploring the next time I visit. I hope that will be soon. 

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."

 -Marilyn Monroe.

Looking different is good. A flaw is what makes you unique and draws attention to you and people may wonder what your skill is to overcompensate for that flaw. But if you’re trying to hide, you may need a disguise when you’re in a crowd. It does give the rest of the world a bit of hope when a beauty icon states that beauty isn’t everything. You might think a little differently, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that the ideas that you come up with are always going to be great. Being ridiculous can be fun though. You might get yourself into some interesting situations, and it certainly gives people a topic for discussion, though it may not always be in a positive light and they may not want to connect with you or agree with you. Sometimes conformity is just easier for everyone, so long as we still retain our humanity.

Places are for Being

There’s something real about being there. You can explore as much as you want without having to click on a screen. You can soak up the atmosphere with your fellow patrons. Pictures create a good advert for it, but sometimes they can be manipulated to make them appear too good to the point that they’re misleading. Sharing the visit with others is even better as it makes it easier to reflect upon your experience as everyone remembers something different. Pictures help with this, and it also lets you show yourself off to your friends. It adds some prestige and creates a feeling that people can relate to, whether it’s somewhere they’ve been before, somewhere that they’d like to go or becomes a place for them to discover. Places become famous to some because they cater to specific interests, but a place that is known by all has done a good job indeed.

I'm male, 21, and ideologically lean conservative. I am an aspiring fiction author/writer but I feel out of place in the writing community. I have no problems having friends with different views, but I don't feel like I fit in. What should I do?

Write. However tired or off-centre you feel, find the time to write something every day. Even if it’s garbage, you must find the time to compose and write something, whether it’s early in the morning or before you retire for the evening. You could set yourself up a little daily topic and focus on a small word count to get yourself started and cycle through these topics as the week or month passes. Doing this is a nice warm-up exercise for the day which helps you to focus more on the material that you do want to publish because you’ve warmed up through a creative flow composition. You should also find the time to read the works of others. Millions do this to conquer their fear of loneliness. As Douglas Adams said, Everyone in the universe feels some sort of paranoia that they’re on their own in the universe. Not an exact quote, but Zaphod Beeblebrox mentioned it in one of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy books. Oh, and unless you’re targeting a specific political audience, political views mean nothing. You might even create more interesting writing if you develop a character that’s in conflict of these views, even if he/she becomes your anti-hero. Go write! 

Silent Wheel

What started out as a relaxing mass of water for the birds to perch on must generate alarm as it silently begins to move. It mustn’t bother them too much though as it finds a perch on the adjacent side of the wheel. Another one, perhaps a slow sleeper, later prefers the stationary pivot. No-one dares to speak. All eyes are on the awesome structure and its quiet rumbling echoing across the hillside. The only movement is the wheel itself and its vibrations shaking across the water. Even the spectators remain still apart from the occasional shift in posture for a better perspective. The horizontal position is more interesting since it reveals the upper exit half of the wheel behind it. Its aerodynamic shape with its scissor-like hump on the circle makes you wish for it to accelerate it to cut through the air. Its slow speed is why it’s so mesmerising.

A Pirate's Life for Me

I had an event coming up which required me to dress like a pirate. Because I was going to be there for the whole weekend, I wanted something high-end. I found a tri-corner hat with fake hair containing dreadlock beads just like Jack Sparrow. As well as a plastic eye patch, there were also some plastic gold hoop earrings that I should have tied into the dreadlocks but instead I left these off thinking at the time that I needed pierced ears to wear these. I did attempt to grow a beard and moustache to add to the character but it turned out to be a bit scruffy and I shaved everything off the day after. It’s also been useful after the event as my niece has borrowed the hat and eyepatch, though I had to make her promise to take care of it and I struggled to get it back off her as she enjoys dressing up a lot.

Head in the Clouds

It was a great trip to look back on. There were some great places to explore that we’d never forget because the features so unique compared to our usual surroundings. It was also a fair trip as we each picked out something that we’d like to do as a group and we all made time to respect and travel to that destination (well, most of us anyway). We felt like we did a lot, but at the same time there were opportunities to socialise as well as to reflect, chill and relax as we were so far away from home so that we could switch off and we’d made the time for it, but we could still be connected at times if we wanted to. There were some great highlights to talk about. It was a great taster of an area that I’d never been to before and it’s certainly one that I’d like to revisit. 

Brave Things Kids Do

They like to explore and head off into the most interesting of places. The less people that are around; the more confidence they have to go and explore the area. They stand up to people that are bigger than them, especially grown-ups. They’re more likely to take risks; probably because of their inexperience; but also, they’re more likely to recover if they get injured. They’ll try out a new stunt on the playground without fear of the consequences. But what can be witnessed as brave can also be seen as risky. They stick up for their friends if they get into trouble. They fight back. They like doing more things that are new to them to decide if they like it. They might retrieve an item from their enemies that has been stolen from their friend. They have the guts to stand up and do something righteous when no-one else dares to. They may even take the fall for a friend. 

Dragon Pie

I spent some time examining the overpriced sandwiches which looked as if they’d been manhandled too much for my liking. Then at the rear I discovered a cafeteria serving a variety of hot food. It looked fresh and intriguing and I was thinking about bangers and mash when I cam across the Dragon Pie. I enquired and discovered that it was a potato pie with vegetables covered in a hot sauce and coated with cheese. Amazingly, it came with sides too so I had more potatoes in the form of chips, plus some peas, all for £8.95. Food obtained; I just needed a place to sit. The whole site wasn’t busy or rammed with tables full of empty plates. I wanted somewhere quiet and not in the middle where I’d take up a lot of space for other people. I found a quiet table in a conservatory with a view of a man-made hill which hid the view of the car park. At the top of the hill was a waterfall which fell into a small pond below. 

Jack & the Beanstalk

Big things were expected of this production, mainly due to the time that we waited for it. As it turned out it was OK. A stand-in played the villain due to illness but you couldn’t tell the difference. As usual, the celebrities that took the headline characters were disappointing as they didn’t interact much with the rest of the cast. The giant puppet was amazing but it was a shame that it wasn’t featured more often, and there was no goose either. The dames were on form with their usual innuendo jokes that were fired early and fast to get the adults settled, but as usual there was a lot of talk and little action. The format was also predictable since it hadn’t altered from previous years. Nevertheless, the girls enjoyed it and we all rushed to our feet to join in with the songs at the end, although we weren’t singing them home.

Surprising Services

I now needed to make my journey home. There was still a great distance to cover, so I thought the best thing to do was to hop on the motorway and get some miles on the clock then turn off at a service station for a hot sandwich. There wasn’t a great deal of traffic and the sun came out as I crossed the border. I managed to get as far as the Lake District before I needed a rest stop and pulled into Tebay Services. Rather than a modern lay-out of a mass car park with a large unimpressive building containing a variety of chain shops at the end of it, I drove into a circular car park in front of a one-story set of buildings. Inside was a variety of upmarket shops selling overpriced crockery and souvenirs. It was flooded with coach part groups doing their last-minute shopping. Fortunately, there wasn’t a queue for the gents, and once that was done I scouted out the food.  

 

Furry Racing #dreamdiary 133

A large chant of war cries echo across this otherwise peaceful farm. There’s a green grass hill with AstroTurf divided into six painted lanes. At the top of the hill is a wooden platform, and all of this is sheltered underneath a corrugated metal roof with windows near the bottom of the hill. A siren is fired and giant bears race down the hill. Some sprint down and roll at the bottom. Some roll head over heels, and some wrestle at the top in a bid to slow their competitors down. This is the new craze for stag dos. People can spend the morning getting bladdered and spend the afternoon here in front of an audience who get to bet on the outcome. The suits are well padded inside so that participants don’t have to worry about sustaining any injuries and the antics that are performed on the course can be very entertaining. There’s instant disqualification for any soiled suits though.

The Man Who Died Twice by Richard Osman

The Man Who Died Twice by Richard Osman
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The supersleuths are back in a delightful but unlikely tale, but still, it could happen! As well as an investigation and gaining vengeance on those who wrong them, they also face everyday ordeals that are typical for pensioners. And for those unlikely situations, they cope admirably and wittily, and are seldom shocked by what they find, and when they are, Osman’s narrative technique allows each character to describe their thoughts and feeling independently. In this plotline, the characters are further developed and we learn a tiny bit more about each one, though not as much as we’d like as a backstory. It’s still a good read as they gossip and socialise within their community, although this story is a bot more close-knit, but I suppose it has to be when there’s sleuthing involved and connections have to be established and taken advantaged of. Still, when you’ve got time on your hands…

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An Andy Guy to Know

There was once a school friend who seemed to get into trouble for everything that he did. Even simple things like his homework diary required a forged signature just before the class started which he’d urge the ink to dry. He loved answering back. He was one of those pupils that the teacher always placed at the front of the class so that he could keep an eye on him. His hair was blonde and spiked, and he had an earring in one ear which he’d always put back in once the teacher’s attention was turned to someone else. He was friendly enough to everyone, if a bit cocky, and wasn’t afraid to stand up for what he believed in despite his small stature, an English Bart Simpson if you will. He’d never back down. This meant that he’d get into quite a few fights. He lived in an interesting estate of flats on a hill. I kind of got the impression that he was from a one-parent family. 

Kettle Power

Scottish engineering is brilliant. It’s amazing that this entire structure manages to lift two huge sections of water complete with boats and passengers on them using the same amount of power as an electric kettle. The narrowboat sailed into a lock and moored up. Then we started climbing upwards leaving a great big hole in the ground. The power is generated by the weight which is counter-balanced at the other end to ensure an even and controlled momentum. The whole journey is very smooth and you wouldn’t know that you were moving unless you looked out of the window. Our captain kept us entertained with information on the wildlife preservation projects and tales of historical construction works and life as a navvy. Once we reached the top we drove through a small tunnel and turned around in front of a lock and headed back down again. It would be a brilliant experience to ride this wheel from the outside. 

Returns

Some people return everything, or at least they try to. They have a naïve view of what the product does and think that they can have a test go of it. There are shops that do that, but for brand new items. Sometimes you can just see the frustration. They will just tell you that it doesn’t work without giving any detail and expect you to believe them. You can’t test everything, but sometimes you can just see that this product isn’t meant for them. Others are just trying to defraud you in some way. They’ll try to persuade you that they’ve changed their mind but they’ve actually misused the product causing it to be damaged in some way. It’s the number of questions that they ask beforehand. They’re certainly not great gift givers. Maybe they don’t respect their property either. You’ve got to be a judge of people and look for the tale-tale signs.

Wheelie Good

Upstairs was a man-made lake complete with marshes that had begun to attract local wildlife. Just ahead was a tunnel with arches that looked as if it was going to zap something at the end. Behind me was a traditional canal tunnel. I would have liked to venture towards the end of the towpath but there were cameras up and I didn’t want them to give me an excuse to stop me riding the wheel. I headed back to the marina and joined the queue to board the boat. I managed to get a front seat so that I could get a good view of the wheel’s mechanism. I was surprised at how quiet it was. It was a shame that it was a foggy day otherwise I’d be able to see a bit further. But I’d definitely want to spend some time exploring the area around the wheel a bit more.

The Door #vampress 4

One of the men tried the door. Amazingly, it was unlocked. AS they pushed it open, they could hear a giant breathing sound, but could only see into a pitch-black interior. One of the men struck up a light and shared a torch with his fellows. The group ventured inside. They were so transfixed on trying to make out their surroundings that no-one was focusing on the exit. With a great slam, the large door closed. Instantly, the villagers returned to the door. They could not work out why the door had closed or who had closed it. Some looked around the outskirts of the door, others tried the handle while others still banged on it in vain hopes of recalling the guards outside to open it. Then the breathing became a pitch of laughter and the ground around them began to tremble. The group froze in fear then began to scout out the rest of the room.

Ground Work

I parked the car on the hill. It cost me £3, and I could have got away with street parking if I’d thought about it, but it somehow felt more secure to be parked on the premises that I was visiting. A short walk down a well-laid path led me alongside a rail track, at the end of which was a large, metallic figure-of-eight. Below this was a marina, and next to this was a metallic pyramid-shaped building which was the visitor’s centre. I’d arrived a bit early and popped into the gift shop to get some souvenirs while it was still quiet to get the lay of the land of where I’d need to check in for my voyage. I found a lovely keyring and snapped it up right away. Then I decided to walk back up the hill to see the canal at the top end of the wheel. 

Mass Market Beer

Someone’s moaning about a pub company again. Personally, I’d kill for a line-up like that. I suppose if you live in the area it’s about as common as buying bread, but it’s still a great selection of beer styles from around the country. These aren’t national brands that are being showcased, and they’re not from a cluster of breweries either. Usually pubs tend to go for golden ales from the same breweries which gets boring after a while. Either that or they showcase the strongest beers at the cheapest prices which discourages the session drinker. Here, you’ve got something for everyone. I’d be happy to stay here for a session; especially if I knew what else was in the locale. Of course, most money in pubs is in through food these days, so from that perspective you’d want a cheap meal to go with your cheap beer. But it’s the basic business model of supply and demand.

Escape from Grangemouth

I started the day with a half tank of fuel. There was no way that I was going to get home on that. There was an ASDA early but I couldn’t work out how to reach it. There was a one-way system in place but I seemed to enter it through the car park and couldn’t spot an entrance to the petrol station. I didn’t feel like being a YouTube clip star this early in the journey, so I decided to skip it and sat in the car park and tried to Google another one. I decided that it was easier to head into Falkirk and refuel there then I could score some Clubcard points and hit the road straight after my canal experience. It was a lot easier to access and the whole thing took half an hour including the journey to the canal centre. I think I may have had to travel down some roads twice and spend more fuel than was necessary, but the principal of the task was completed. 

"A Champion is defined not by their wins, but how they can recover when they're down."

 -Serena Willams.

Taking part in a competition says a lot about you. You shouldn’t expect to win every time, but it’ll be nice. It’s not necessarily about winning a prize, it’s about reassuring yourself of your progress and comparing yourself to others and networking with them. If you lose, it’s important that you’ve got competitive spirit, and that you’re willing to keep on trying so that you won’t stay down. There’s a mental element as well as a physical one so that you can get yourself out of the pit. It’s a lot more fun when the odds are against you, but it also makes the experience harder on yourself. The key is to learn from your experience and use it in your next attempt. If you don’t win, people will still be interested to hear about your journey, especially people who aspire to be in the same field. And if you do win, it shows that you’ve mastered your game and everything in between.

A Very Scottish Breakfast

It was a large stylish room which was green and clean with potted plants and a TV mounted in a corner. There was a long counter with a closed hatch and in front of it were various cereals laid out for consumption. I got myself a hot coffee from the filter pot and settled down with a bowl and spoon. A nice lady greeted me and handed me a menu in a leather wallet. There seemed to be a genuine appreciation of my custom, although little conversation was made. I decided to go for the full fry-up. It arrived quite promptly, and while it wasn’t particularly memorable it was still substantial and tasty. The breakfast room was quite empty. I came down what I thought would have been peak time. Perhaps it was a slow weekend. There wasn’t even anyone at reception, so I left my key behind the desk and out I set.