It’s early in the morning and I’m
tucked up nice and snug in bed. Suddenly there’s the loud sound of a car tooting
its horn outside. I look out the window and there’s a large stretch white limousine
parked in front of the driveway. Through the window in the passenger seat is a
large obese woman with bubbly arms wearing a curtain for a dress waving at me. My
hungover brain is telling me that she’s vaguely familiar and that she’s some kind
of God from Valhalla; and that somehow we’ve agreed this rendezvous. An image
of Tinder springs to mind alongside a solo session of drinking in the pub while
flicking through likes on my phone and forking out for a subscription. A time
of 6:30 was agreed upon; which is what is showing now on my digital alarm
clock; although I didn’t realise that it would be that early in the morning.
She’s definitely a bit over keen. I’ve got no idea where I’ve agreed to go and
I’m nowhere near ready. I also need to cancel my work plans for the rest of the
day.
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