I did #devilsdaughter 18

 A large crash came from the chapel doors.

‘Stop the service! Stop the service! There are a few reasons why this ceremony cannot go ahead! An old man in a grey shirt, lack tie and brown shoes came sprinting down the aisle with papers in his hand.

‘Madam, I apologise but I cannot find any record of who you say you are but the principal reason that this service cannot go ahead is that Sir’s card has been declined.’

There was a gasp from the knave followed by absolute silence. ‘Can anyone fund the ceremony?’ asked the old man.

There was a brief period of absolute silence followed by a feminine giggle. ‘Let me handle this’ said Lucinda. ‘Let’s step into your office where we can quickly try my card and I’ll prove my identity at the same time.’ She stepped towards him, making her presence felt to everyone with each step.

Life at the Local

From the outside, you might think it’s a surprisingly busy store to get to. It’s on a busy road just outside the commercial shopping district with a big traffic junction and the street is lined with local businesses. But it’s not as bad as it seems. It’s not a store that gets too busy for passing traffic and people aren’t there for long anyway as the store’s not that big. There’s supposed to be a one-way system but it’s not signposted and there’s never been any problems anyway. The next job is to park the boat. Ideally you want the rear doors facing the access ramp so that you’ve got little else in the way as you unload. This might mean blocking the disabled spot slightly or leaning out into the road a bit too much which is my preference. Other cars can still get by, but it may cause a problem for bigger vehicles or those who are parked on the other side.

 

What do you do if you neighbour doesn't respect the property line?

The short answer is that you’d probably want to talk to your neighbour, and if that doesn’t work you’d need to seek out some form of civil enforcement. We’ve had intrusions from both sides of the fence. On one side, the fence was falling apart but it belonged to our neighbour rather than us. The easiest solution was to build our own fence in front of his fence since that would be on our land, but that would take up precious space. The more civil solution would be to negotiate a new fence with our neighbour and offer to pay for the cost in the hope that he would subsidise some of it. This would involve speaking to my neighbour which we really didn’t want to do. Instead, we just went ahead with it in the hope that he wouldn’t complain, and so far he hasn’t. On the side of the fence that we own, our other neighbour has lent some wood against the fence which has slipped through a hole. The hole is more theirs rather than ours as we live on a hill and it’s elevated on their side which sits behind our shed. In short, we’ve got their rubbish. It’ll be interesting when the time comes for us to get rid of it.

Just Waiting

We’re just waiting. There’s nothing else that we can do. I suppose that there are things that we could be doing but once we start them it’ll be too late to finish them because the vehicle will arrive.  Even with a predicted arrival time it’s not guaranteed. As minutes pass into hours, it gets amazing as to how much time is wasted. But if it’s coming out of the company’s pocket, no-one cares unless they’ve got to deal with finishing the job off the same evening or the following day. And once it’s arrived there’s no guarantee that we’ll be leaping into action straight away. Will the driver need to make a quick call on his phone? Perhaps he’ll have to seek out the correct clothes for the conditions outside. Or maybe he needs a quick breather. Either way, we still can’t begin our work until the doors open and the stock appears.

 

"If you can cultivate the right attitude, your enemies are your best spiritual teachers because their presence provides you with the opportunity to enhance and develop tolerance, patience and understanding".

-Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama.

Finding a good attitude can be hard at times; especially when you need to stay positive. It only takes a moment to say the wrong thing and make the situation progressively and possibly irreversibly worse. And while it may be difficult to change things back to what they were, what you can do is learn from your mistakes and make the next occurrence a smoother experience. You may even find a way to both beat and satisfy your critics. Their presence can be distracting because the very sight of them puts fear into you, but it’s also the quickest way to overcome them. If you can take the opportunity, it’s a chance to make you a stronger person. You’ll find the patience to put up with them no matter how many circles they try to lead you around. And if you can see your enemy’s point of view, it’ll make it easier to reason with them.

Risky Returns

How many of our humble parcels aren’t wanted? Why has someone changed their mind? We’ve put all this effort in getting the order ready and it’s all for nowt. There’s labour involved in preparing the items for transport and distributing them to their destination as well as the physical materials used to pack them. It’s all a waste. So what’s caused our customer to change their mind? Have they found a better deal? Hopefully they’ll have chosen another item from ourselves, even though that might mean more preparation. Have they ordered it on an impulse buy while browsing at night then saw better sense in the morning? Or have their circumstances changed so that they can’t physically arrange to have the item collected? At the end of the day, it’s a wasted sale. But it’s the only way to do business. We take a chance on trust and rely on that person’s custom. And it’s important never to exploit it.

Chad Valley Pull Along Caterpillar

On the screen, he looks quite novel and colourful. He looks like a great toy to encourage little ones to move about and there’s few loose parts to cause damage or worry either. But it’s disappointingly small which just screams shabby at you, which is probably why the dimensions aren’t listed. The cord looks a little cheap; it’s just a simple piece of string that hasn’t been reinforced and could be chewed through if left unsupervised. I love the antenna and eyes that wiggle as the toy is pulled along. It needs batteries to play its 16 songs and flash its lights which is always an off-factor when buying toys. And it’s a shame that there’s no on-line video to demonstrate its lights and sounds in its listing. Maybe it’s because that it would be another off-factor and they’d only be demonstrating tinny speakers. It’s a great example of how sellers can hide the facts to coax you into a purchase.

Printers are Brats

They really are. You’ve spent ages making your creation or at least saving up for the purchase that you want, and now it’s time to make it more real by giving it a physical presence in the world through the method of putting it on paper. Things start well when you press the power button. Assuming you’ve put in the right plug, you’ll see an encouraging light of hope and maybe even hear some whirring to confirm that there’s life within that plastic shell. Now you’ve got to encourage your computer to find it. Modern users send it through the wi-fi and pray to the God of zap that it arrives, but I still use ye ancient method of a cable. I have to focus on putting the right lead into the right hole for the document to travel down. If I get it right, there’s usually a bit of whirring as the devices catch up with each other.

The Picture Map #dreamdiary 107

 I’m heading into Wales with my mother for a hiking break. But rather than rely on the sat-nav; we’ve got a book with pictures. It’s not a map but an actual book with full-paged illustrations on the left and text on the right which tells us the history of what we’re seeing alongside written directions. There’s a large rock in the shape of a tower that’s been split into two by lightning and there’s a waterfall flowing down the gap and alongside a grassy knoll. It wouldn’t be ideal if I was alone as I’d have to keep stopping to turn the page; but other than that it’s a great personalised guidebook for our route. I hope that the navigator doesn’t lose their place, and that instructions to return home are included too. But at night or in bad weather I’d be buggered as I wouldn’t be able to see the sights or the landmarks, or probably the book itself for that matter.

Another Process to Learn

I never seem to do this process correctly. The idea is that I scan it into a returns box then on a weekly basis I generate a manifest and place the items into a box for transportation. But it seems that every time I load the items onto the manifest; they don’t appear on the screen for me to release. Even when I scan them, they’re still there. When I successfully do release them, they’re only absent from the system for a few days then next week they re-appear as if I’ve never sent them. Usually I just end up sending them any way to be rid of them, then I email the collection team that they’ve already been dispatched. It’s not as if it’s my stock or even our stock. Since doing it, I’ve learnt that it’s been changed again and that I’m still doing it wrong. It’s best to let sleeping dogs lie and avoid doing it until I’ve been shown the correct method again.

 

Teachers

Just what do teachers get up to in the staff room? It’s probably the only respite in the whole building apart from an unoccupied classroom. It’s a perfect social scene for teachers only; and the headmaster or headmistress might even conduct their operations from there. It’s probably the only place where you could have a quiet sit-down and read the paper; though you may get some interference from other colleagues or be caught out from the boss. Imagine the tips and gossip that’s been switched from between those walls. There might even be secret investigating planned between classes. Rivals might battle it out with nothing held back between those walls whereas they’re forced to be best mates in view of the students. Both cruelty and kindness can be exploited here and all school rules are thrown out of the window. But whatever you do, don’t let a single student step inside.

Push You to Your Limit

Short people can be persuasive; especially when they’re skinny, middle-aged and bald. Perhaps it’s their way of making up for something. You don’t want to put them into a spot of bother by letting them down, but at the same time you know that you’re not supposed to do what they’re asking of you.  In the end you agree to their terms and just hope that nothing goes wrong and that you’re not found out. It might even cause some restless nights. At least this deal is legitimate and there’s an opportunity for you to check that it’s progressing as agreed. But you have to wonder what else they might get up to in their spare time. And once the deal is over, you just hope that they’re not going to ask you again, and hope that you don’t need a favour returned; otherwise they might try to exercise their right to repeat their favour again.

Cage Rage

Our stock is transported to and from the warehouse in metallic cages. It’s delivered by a trailer on a truck with a tail lift on the back that the driver controls. We seem to get through many drivers and it’s rare that we have the same one twice. The driver wheels the cages off the trailer and onto the tail lift and lowers it down. We have the happy task of pulling the cages off the tail lift onto the ground then push them up the slope and into the store. Once the tail lift’s empty, it goes back up to the trailer for another load. Sometimes we deal with pallets which involves a second person if it’s heavy. When everything’s off, it’s our turn to return the favour by sending back the empty cages which we have to do at a bit of a run to get them up the ramp and onto the tail lift. It’s a lot of manual labour!  

Room

This film is an interesting psychological experiment from a child’s point of view, if not slightly cruel. Each action just raises more questions and makes you glued to the story until the answer is revealed. I wondered at one point whether Jack was truly a boy. I thought it was a fantastic idea to get Jack as educated as possible when Joy felt it was time that he could cope without her to attempt a rescue. Though I am a bit bewildered as to why Joy didn’t attempt to escape through the skylight. There was certainly a wide-ranging offer of equipment on offer that she could use to smash the glass, and the exercises that she undertook with Jack at the beginning of the film certainly didn’t portray any lack of physical fitness. It was also interesting to watch the after-effects of leaving the room, and at one point it was debatable as to whether Jack was prepared to accept life in the world. I also wondered whether the suggestion of suicide didn’t enter Joy’s mind until she underwent the TV interview. The result is a heart-warming tale that just makes you wish good things on those who have undergone unnecessary suffering.

Tally Ho

It’s important to keep track of things. You never know when the information will come in handy. An empty box is a space witing to be filled. But is it a good thing when it is? If you’ve only filled half the boxes, does that mean that you’ve only completed half the task and that there’s still a lot of work that needs to be completed? Is it necessary to keep track of it at all? Can the data be interpreted by everyone, or is it a good thing that the purpose of the data is secret? We can work out which of the columns have summed up the rows but it’s difficult to decipher what the percentages are for. It might even be that the dots don’t hide the answer. The biggest numbers don’t always create the biggest loss, or even the smallest. It must mean something to someone.  

 

It's Up There. Somewhere.

At first I thought this was a cool app that would mark a novel occasion to inform me when the space station would pass over my house. But it turns out that because of its distance above the earth, it’s not that seldom that it passes. It’s also strange that you have to tell Alexa which city you want the information for. You’d have thought that it could use your current location; or at least ask you whether it’s here or there. It’s good to know where it is but you need to ask it again closer to the event to find out what direction to look to see it. Okay, it’s up, but is it directly up? And how long should you look for? It’s a big sky up there. As well as telling you the direction and the horizon, it also gives you a brief weather forecast to estimate your chance of a successful viewing. 

Redirected

I think we’ve stopped caring. In a world where it’s becoming increasingly common to pay for our goods before we get a glimpse of them, it shows that we need to invest our faith in these providers and trust them to provide us with what we’ve paid for. So when things go wrong, we expect people to care about putting them right. It may not be the seller’s fault when the item breaks. But when the seller fails to provide the item, that’s an entirely different issue. We need to be seen to care to put it right. As middlemen, there’s a host of excuses that we can use to inform the customer of the delay, but it’s no good if people on the other side of the supply chain can’t deliver to the right destination. And at the moment, the easiest solution is to tell the customer to cancel their order and try again while we try and trace where it’s got to.

 

Who is Tryanuary?

Tryanuary started off as an opposition force to Dry January. People would traditionally make new year resolutions to drink less and to stay in more to save money and lose weight; especially since in the previous month they did the exact opposite to celebrate Christmas. They’d go into a winter hibernation; venturing out only for what was necessary to keep them sustained and entertained. This meant that the hospitality trade would lose out on their regular trade. Then the Truanuary movement came along and persuaded people to go out and try new things that were offered in these establishments during these quiet periods to keep these businesses afloat. Now it seems to have expanded to encourage people to try different beers; especially during the lockdown period when the cheapest and easiest alternative is a case of cans from the supermarket. There’s even giveaways. It’s a great idea, but just who are the people that are collaborating behind this? Who’s behind the mask?

A Dim Idea

Buying bulbs is confusing at the moment. If it’s an old-style bulb, then bringing an old one into the store isn’t going to be of much use if you don’t know the size of it, especially if it’s not an LED one. The first thing you’ve got to do is get the fitting right. Is it a twisty screw cap or a traditional two-point bayonet? Then you’ve got to find the right size and shape. Is it a traditional mushroom, a miniature globe, or a candle filament? There’s also different filaments and different shades of glass for different effects. Finally, there’s the wattage. The new bulbs are designed to save energy so an old 40w bulb is now something like a 7w bulb, but it’ll still be as bright even though it uses less power. Fortunately, if you buy a new LED bulb, you won’t need another for a long while as they’re supposed to last a lot longer.

I do #devilsdaughter17

The floorboards creaked as she approached the alter. She had no idea who these people were. Most of them had a drink in their hand which meant that they had left the adjacent bar to be part of the service. How could they resist? Her hips were higher than the pedestal, while her hair hung down to cover the exposed top half of her rear end. And of course, as always, she absolutely towered over everyone. The cleric, a topless hunk with a collar, strained to meet her gaze beyond her cleavage which almost overhung him.

‘The service, reverend?’ said Lucinda with a wink.

‘I do’ simply said the reverend.

Lucinda giggled. ‘Maybe later’ she said with a whisper.

The reverend shook his head. ‘My apologies madam’ he mumbled. ‘We are gathered today to witness Luke and Lucinda joining together into marriage. If anyone knows a reason why these two should not be wed, please declare it now.’

Bloody Bulbs

One of the bulbs in the lounge lights has gone. I’m hoping that it’s just a normal light bulb inside. My attempt to change this bulb has failed. It’s contained within a glass orb, and I can loosen the rim of the org to get at the gap inside. But inside the orb are hooks which act as a further securing measure to hold the orb in place; and it’s these hooks which are stopping me from removing the orb from the fittings. But we don’t really use the room lights in the room that often. There are lamps in opposite corners of the room which creates the perfect level when the TV is on as well. The only time that they’re really on is when the girls come to visit in the evening and we need some bright light to play a game; and that’s not that often. As it’s only them that use it; we just haven’t bothered as the other two bulbs still work. Still, I wonder if it creates a strain on the circuit. 

 

Thoughts? One neighbour keeps parking right in front of our kitchen window and sits in their car every night like clockwork looking into our house. Is there anything I can do about this?

Obviously you’re concerned and you have a right to be concerned as you want to be safe in your property, but have you actually tried talking to your neighbour? It’s fair to say these days that not everyone is switched on and your neighbour may not be realising what they are doing. There’s no point planning a counter to his odd behaviour if you can’t work out why he’s doing it and your reaction may make things worse; especially if he’s on public land or can claim a right to be there. You might even find that you’re able to help him and turn a neighbour into a friend once you discover the reason for his behaviour. You could keep a record of his presence to pass onto the police and make an accusation of stalking you. Failing that, it does get dark at night which gives you the perfect excuse to install some blinds or curtains to give you some privacy.

We Stop for No-one

We were all prepared to leave when suddenly one of the more sozzled members of our party realises that she hasn’t got her mobile phone with her. Everyone’s checking under the seat and preparing the driver to go back to the venue and I’m trying to ask her if she’s enabled the find my phone function to deaf ears until my manager repeats it during a gap in the noise. And of course she hasn’t. the think is that I feel a little bit guilty as I did see a handbag on the floor by the chair that she was sitting on with her coat on top of it; and I did sit there to talk to another table when everyone had started moving around. I might have been responsible to knocking it out of her coat. I can’t remember whether she found it in her handbag or whether she returned the next day to make enquiries. I don’t think we turned around anyway.

The Prom Vett #dreamdiary 106

There’s a form in front of me that I need to fill in. it’s just a single sheet of A4 paper with lots of bold tick boxes and blank spaces. A black biro with a silver tip is pushed towards me.

‘What’s this?’ I say.

‘It’s a form that you need to fill in’ answers the girl in front of me.

‘Why?’

‘Well, you’ve asked me to the prom. I haven’t answered you yet but yours isn’t the only offer that I’m expecting. I’m therefore trying to picture the evening that you have in mind and I’d like to know your intentions. I’ll then enter the data into a database to compare results from all candidates to determine the best evening.’

‘So there’s no-one that you’d like to go to the prom with at the moment? None of your friends? You’re just exploiting your gender?’

‘That’s correct.’

I push the form back at her. ‘Good luck’ I say and get up and leave the table.

Exaggerating Expiry Dates

There’s nothing worse than giving a customer a product with a low or expired shelf life. But it doesn’t necessarily mean that the product’s unsafe to use. Instead, it might not be fresh as the manufacturer would like it to be. Of course, you should always treat these products with caution if you do end up with an expired date just in case something has become unusable; and always ensure that you get a discount on these products as you’re not guaranteed the best quality. We don’t sell many of these products but as they arrive they’re checked then stored in a special area where they can be monitored monthly. But it’s out of our control if this process is skipped at the sending area and the customer has already purchased the product. Some products do the exact opposite and have a ‘born on’ date rather than a user date; though this is more to help aid manufacturers with their distribution processes, although some people mistake these for expiry dates.

"All this will not be finished in the first hundred days. Nor will it be finished in the first thousand days...nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. But let us begin."

-John F. Kennedy.

There’s always something that’ll get in the way of your mission. You’ve just got to focus and get on and do it, and sometimes it seems that you’ve got a long way to go. Will you attempt to conquer your goal in one night? Or are you able to put a plan in place to make your goal more manageable. People will tell you that a plan will work every time but only if you stick to it. I’ve been ‘planning things’ for years but other things just get in the way or I find myself tempted by other distractions. It’s taken me eight days to gather the energy to reply to this quote. But sometimes it’s not possible to reach the goals that we attain for. If we’re lucky, we’re able to leave a legacy so that others might follow in your wake. All we can do is aim to make the most of it.

Crazy About Coffee

This amazing substance can get you up and moving in next to no time. Just one cup can perk you up. But too much can put a strain on your emotions and can have you overacting to stimuli. But do people like the taste? I like mine sugary, syrupy, and creamy. And just like cooking, you can add what you want to your taste; as well as adding extra shots to increase the strength. Keep going and you’ll end up with a helluvah cup of hyper-juice to wake you up and get you moving. And it can be quite expensive if you don’t make it yourself. I quite enjoy a good coffee if it’s not burnt, but I can’t stand the smell of those caffeine-based energy drinks. They remind me of alcopops which isn’t a taste that you want to have lingering in the morning to share with your colleagues.

Brightening up the Garden

In an attempt to make the garden more attractive to my nieces, we’ve introduced garden tat to the fences. This means that if they don’t enjoy the plants on offer, they’ll be entertained by the bright stone and metallic animals that are on display. They’ve even turned it into a game by trying to discover if there’s anything new in the garden every time they visit. One of our earliest offerings is a rustic metallic sun with a smiley face that sits on the fence with sunbeams shaped slightly like flames. Of course, it’s inevitable that some of these ornaments will fall off and break which is why they’re not too expensive. One of the butterflies has already flown away, and we’ve yet to find it. I was waiting for a bad frost so that there wouldn’t be much foliage in the bush so it would be easier to spot but it hasn’t happened yet.

Roll out the Trolley

We were suddenly told to go and get a drink at the bar. I had no idea if we were allowed a second but some people did attempt it; but whether that drink was also free; whether it wasn’t supposed to be free or whether they shelled out their own dosh I don’t know. Then the posh cakes arrived and once we’d paired up and worked out who didn’t want what, we could start to trade with other tables. After our tea and some complimentary wine, we were forced out into the cold for photographs on the steps. We had to pose behind a gigantic banner before returning inside to receive our awards in a gift bag. As well as a bottle of bubbly to take home, we also each received a box of chocs and a grooming kit. The bus decided to head back through the town rather than the motorway because of the traffic.