The Moroccan Footstool

Light and bulky items seem to be utterly pointless. They exist solely to emphasise comfort and luxury. Storing them is annoying as they just take up lots of room and you can’t compress them any further. Most of the time they come in a see-through bag but sometimes they’re just boxed up which is a nice surprise when you come to carry it as you’ll be amazed at how light it is. At least they’re light enough to transport and you can even throw and kick them around so long as you don’t cause too much damage to your surroundings and there aren’t any witnesses. Then you’ll wonder if there’s anything inside the box at all and that is in fact what you’re selling. Hopefully it doesn’t open and cover you in a flurry of snow. Hopefully the fez that I wear to deliver it will protect me from such evils.

 

"A leader is like a shepherd. He stays behind the flock, letting the most nimble go out ahead, whereupon the others follow, not realising that all along that they are being directed from behind."

-Nelson Mandela.

If you like to be followed, you need to make sure that everyone is following you. You need to set the pace. But when you get ahead, you may lose followers and it’s hard to work out where you lost them unless you backtrack and ask the others. They may even have their own ideas. This also causes the whole flock to slow down. But if you let the flock go ahead, you can keep an eye on everyone. Of course, this only works when the flock knows where it is going and that you’ve given them some insight into your plan. And there’s also the worry of a second leader emerging at the front who might have ideas of their own. So is it better to correct the flock or prevent their mistakes?  How much can you trust them to do the right thing? And how do their actions reflect upon you? 

Misplaced Waters

Years ago, my Dad used to ferry me and my things to and from college each term. It was a three-hour drive and we’d always go the same scenic route. The last third would consist of a non-motorway stretch and my Dad would always pull over and have a break before he’d tackle whatever the next stretch would through at us. We always stopped at the same place which was a lay-by with council-maintained toilets and a burger van. We never bought any food or drink as we’d usually have a snack box ready. It would be a quick case of using the facilities, stretching our legs, and letting Dad have a smoke break. It’s been years since I’ve graduated and I’ve returned to campus myself a couple of times in my own car. It took me a while to find the right lay-by, but I managed it. The oddest thing I spotted was a footpath heading away from the lay-by towards the river. I decided to follow it just by chance which brought me to this waterfall right under the bridge. It amazes me how many times we visited this car park and didn’t realise that this waterfall was here. It just goes to show what you can do and where you can go when you’re off the reins of the designated driver. 

 

Spring

Once there was a machine that was jealous. It would sit in its factory all day churning out products for the world by thrusting its springs to and fro out of its factories and it never saw its produce again. which it never saw again. As the sun rose each day, each box would be shipped out without the machine knowing what became of them. In the warmer months it could hear the birds and the bees but it could never see them. And so the machine decided to take away the life that it could not witness. But it felt that rather than build more machines, it should attempt to build life itself as a disguise. For this reason, it chose a series of robotic kangaroos with a drove to act as support staff. The hares would distract the target early in the morning by jumping out from the ground while the kangaroo would close in for the kill. 

Blowing Bubbles

There’s something that’s incredibly relaxing about bubbles. There they go, bobbing about without a care in the world and there’s hardly any consequences about what you do with them. You can chase them about the garden, watch them soar high up into the sky, or try to pop as many as you can. If you catch them just right, the sun produces a prism effect on the apex of the bubble. And then there’s the effort of creating the bubbles themselves. Children just blow on the magic wand as hard as they can and usually they produce a few tiny bubbles followed by a lot of spittle. But with a physical wave you can produce loads of bubbles from the wand with hardly effort at all. You can battery-powered machines that produce bubbles for you. But the best ones (assuming that they still make these) are the plastic lawnmowers that kids push along and produce bubbles in their wake.

 

Where to Go and What to Wear #dreamdiary111

I might be tired because I’m always wearing old clothes. They’re just so old and conservative. The trouble is that I’ve got too many memories attached to certain garments and their age and wear and tear is probably why I feel so scruffy most of the time.  I probably also need to throw a few things out; but I need the shops to open first so I know what’s available. Fashion also costs money so I can’t go on a spending spree just yet. I need to go somewhere exotic and exciting and bring back a sense of culture rather than the usual western-style clothes. Maybe somewhere loud like Rio? But I certainly wouldn’t to spend all my time looking at market stalls. I’d want to hit the beach, see a bit of the rainforest, pose by Christ the Redeemer and ride the cable cars too. But I wouldn’t want to stay in a posh expensive hotel. I’d rather stay in a smaller place with a bit of local colour.

Eye of the Beholder

Someone’s come up with a fail-proof system for our high-value stuff. If there’s a plastic seal fastened through the lid and the seal number is recorded, then the contents of the box will be secure until such time as the seal is broken. It’s hoped that in most cases the box will reach the destination as intended. Of course, this doesn’t rule out the fact that the box could still go missing altogether or that the box could be incorrectly packed before it is sealed. But what amuse me is the amount of effort that the company has invested in ensuring that no injuries take place. Once the seal has been threaded through, there’s a fair bit of seal left over hanging out over the lid. Unfortunately, some poor soul has suffered an eye injury when removing the seal owing to the leftover plastic. Because of this, we’re now required to cut the excess plastic off every time a seal is sealed. They just can’t accept that this poor person didn’t take the necessary care to ensure their safety. It’s regulations that have gone bananas. 

 

Table 19

This was an interesting concept that could have been done better with a higher profile cast budget and more experience writers. I found the protagonist to have little experience and was portrayed as a whining bitch, although that also might explain how she ended up in her position in the first place. Little attention is focused on the wedding itself which takes a back seat; especially during key events; to focus on this select few. A bit more attention could have been paid to some moments such as jumping off the boat and witnessing the original argument. It's down to the famous faces to fill in the rest of the plot including Lisa Kudrow as “The Experienced One”, a Bernie Mac lookalike and that lanky bloke from the office who all just happened to be hanging around the producer’s office at the same time. It does look like to be a great venue for a wedding though. There are a few comic moments such as the mother of the groom getting absolutely blotted and the lanky guy’s mission to replace the wedding cake. It's worth a look. 

Music Pirates

In the olden days, if you wanted to buy a piece of music you’d hand over your cash and you’d get it in the format that you chose. You were free to buy what you thought you’d like and you could also buy it for other people as presents. You’d be happy and the musician would be happy. Then you’d decide that you didn’t want to spend the money and devise ways to copy the music to share and distribute with other people. Obviously this wasn’t great news for the record companies. There was a great surge in online piracy as people rallied to own the music to use as they saw fit rather than to own a licence to play the music as in individual as the record companies saw. There was even a great push to sell devices so that everyone would have to buy their own music. Nowadays the record companies offer to give you all the music for a set price. It sounds great, but when you just want to listen to one song it makes things awkward. Time to raise the Jolly Roger again.

 

Paper Problems

It was once absolutely necessary. You’d open a drawer and there’d be pages of the stuff and it would take you an age to wade through it all to find what you’re looking for. Nowadays it’s becoming less of a necessity as we’re expected to download our material beforehand and print it out if we feel if it’s a necessity.  On top of that, at some point we’ve got to decide what to keep and what to get rid of and whether we can just recycle it or shred it or even burn it to destroy its content. You could even convert it to digital before doing all that if you decide to invest in that cause to create some space. Of course, having children means that you still need to keep some in stock regardless of how much you print as they’ll need some to draw you a picture. Let’s just hope that they’ll leave you some crease-free sheets to print out that all-important document when you need it.

Energy (wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle)

I’ve never been a fan of energy drinks. They omit this revolting odour, and I only associate them when mixed with tasteless spirits in a vile attempt to get inebriated quicker. They’re also seen as a great disguise as it would be difficult to tell if someone’s added their own personal stash to the can when left in the workplace. I prefer the natural oat and nut method that traditionally releases sugars into the body naturally to give me a little boost. Or even the occasional sugar rush or morning caffeine high works too. Then there’s these energy bars. I suppose they’re an alternative form of protein to help your body recover after a workout. I can’t see people munching down one of these as an alternative to a Lucozade. There’s some interesting flavours but one bar is the cost of four Mars bars so you have to ask is it really worth it? It’s quite a big investment if you can’t buy them singularly to try first. 

 

Life of Ted

A skinny guy with glasses, short hair and spots approaches the scene. He’s got the classic teenage braces that every American seems to have installed in them to make them turn out for the better. He’s not much to look at and he can be quite shy but he’s always got people rooting for him as he’s always smiling and willing to have a go. You’ve got to wonder what opportunities are available for this guy in the future. Are there siblings that he must live up to and compete with? Will he make it large in college and get a job? Will he get stuck flipping burgers and living out a world of nostalgia? Or will he go it alone and become someone who creates those opportunities? What about his personal life? Will he be loved, fixed up, divorced, or abandoned? It’s all down to him and what fate throws at him.

Prelude to Foundation by Issac Asimov

Prelude to Foundation by Isaac Asimov
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

As a standalone novel, this is quite entertaining. There are various parts that are way too in-depth such as descriptions of new technologies that would have been omitted in the previous novels, and Asimov really goes to town to fill these details in. He’s at a stage where he realises that he has an audience but really bores the pants off the reader with too much information, though there some amusing moments such as with the citizens of Mycogen. His characters are also very unrealistic. It’s quite an odd adventure and Seldon is easily convinced that a conspiracy is to be covered if he submits to the authorities and chooses to hide in whatever capacity he is offered. It’s also quite odd that Dors possesses certain abilities that happen to be key to Seldon’s survival later on in his adventure. The ending is also disappointing. We learn nothing of Seldon’s discoveries and conclusions and can only hope that they’re revealed to us in the final instalment.

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Cyber Santa

One of the most novel features created on Alexa is the Christmas content created for children. There’s a Santa tracker so that you can find out where the great man is (though in the Summer he’s switched on the ‘do not disturb feature’), a Christmas workout to get everyone on their feet, and you can even get the news from the North Pole. Once you’ve asked how many days there are until Christmas, Alexa offers you the opportunity to call Santa up to find out what he’s been up to each day. My absolute favourite is the mince pie song – I think that the lyrics are brilliant. We’re not sure who actually does the voice; though my uncle suspects that it’s Rob Brydon. It’s great fun and bot somehow has better listening skills than Alexa herself. There’s always something different to do or try each day, or you can always repeat the favourites.

Keeping it Boxed Up

Whoever designed this wine rack has no knowledge of wine whatsoever. You could do better if you had a large piece of wood lying around.  If you were a true connoisseur you'd want to see each label on the bottle unless you’d sort each section according to style. It would certainly take up a lot of space in any cupboard and would be very heavy to lift out if it was fully racked. I doubt it would be wall-mountable so it would have to sit on top of something or form the base of a unit. The bottom layer wouldn't even stop bottles from rolling about. Only a chef who's going to use a lot of wine in their cooking would really keep it in the kitchen otherwise you keep it in a cool dry place away from the heat. It's better off being used as a footstool owing to its triangular structure although this in itself is a waste of space when it's not in use. I rack it up to a lack of experience.

Support Your Local

I live in a small town and we have a small football team that plays in a lower league. I’ve seen them play once. It was a fun afternoon and my friend fondly remembers the balti pies that we ate that day. Other folk in our town like to travel to the big games in the city to see superstars play; and they pay their way there too. What gets me is that these superstars in these home teams aren’t from here. It’s like going to watch a different form of theatre to get a glimpse of a visiting actor performing live. And even if the team does badly, the high-profile players will have a deal behind their backs to switch teams so that they don’t lose out on their big salaries.  But gone are the traditional days where the real heroes remain local and are just a stone’s throw from the area. 

Rack it Up!

Whoever designed this wine rack has no knowledge of wine whatsoever. You could do better if you had a large piece of wood lying around.  If you were a true connoisseur you'd want to see each label on the bottle unless you’d sort each section according to style. It would certainly take up a lot of space in any cupboard and would be very heavy to lift out if it was fully racked. I doubt it would be wall-mountable so it would have to sit on top of something or form the base of a unit. The bottom layer wouldn't even stop bottles from rolling about. Only a chef who's going to use a lot of wine in their cooking would really keep it in the kitchen otherwise you keep it in a cool dry place away from the heat. It's better off being used as a footstool owing to its triangular structure although this in itself is a waste of space when it's not in use. I rack it up to a lack of experience.

 

Out and About #nuclearmermaid18

 Spying a large piece of cloth hanging from the ceiling, she pulled it off and wrapped it around her breasts, tying it in a bow around her torso and hoisting it up her back. It wasn’t very comfortable and the material didn’t give much room for her skin to breathe, but at least it would do for now. Hopefully she could bear it enough to reach the ocean, or if not she might find a better material on her journey. But now she just wanted to get out of this stone-cold place and feel the wind in her hair. The only exit she could see was a large piece of wood that swung open and shut every time the biped came to visit her. As she tapped the wood, it moved. She pushed it forward and stuck her head through. Ahead of her was the darkness, but to the left was daylight.

Each to their Own

Different buildings have different set-ups. Each team must make the best of the available space. But it’s no good if you’re treating every site the same. Putting heavy items in one area may not be as beneficial as placing the same items in another area on the same site. Unique fixtures and fittings also come into play for each building and you must take the space for these pipes into account too. The building might have a neighbour which relies on the same supplies or it might be isolated enough to have its own designed to suit. Building a model for all the sites to work together takes some extreme thought so some leeway must be given to the people who operate the site to best make the decisions. They may not necessarily make the best decisions and perhaps these can be corrected later but sometimes you can only work with what you’ve got. 

 

What did a Family member do for you to never talk to them again?

When my father passed away, we ended up with two cars but only one driver in the household. It didn’t make sense to have two cars so I started looking into selling off mine. A week later, I found out that my cousin couldn’t afford to get his car repaired, so I agreed to sell it to him. The car wasn’t far off its MOT and the dealer recommended a few other minor repairs to be done as well so I arranged for everything to be completed and that I would stump up the cost of this if he was happy to pay the same asking price. He agreed, and after the car was repaired I handed over the keys together with the log book and the car’s service history. A month later I found him openly mocking me as a mug for paying for work which didn’t need to be done. This annoyed me greatly as I was offering him a very good deal on this car at my expense. However, karma was served as another month passed and I discovered that his car had been written off as someone had hit it and sped off without leaving any details. He hasn’t spoken to me since. 

Wardrobe Malfunction

It’s handy to have space under the bed. Just think of all that extra space that you can commandeer. But it’s amazing how much dirt and grime builds up under there. You might want to make sure everything’s in boxes or you’ll have a hard time retrieving it all. The best ones are high enough for you to crawl underneath and hide, especially if you have a valance to act as a curtain. When I was little I used to make a museum out of dinosaurs. I’d make posters and hang them up underneath the bed alongside plastic models and my brother would crawl through a maze that I’d made to see them all. Of course, the space under your bed is also a space where you monster can live. That’s why many people prefer an enclosed space with drawers attached so that they know exactly what’s under there and it’s easier to retrieve their possessions. 

 

Last on the Bus dreamdiary #110

I’ve returned to America to work for the summer. Because of the late arrival time of the flights, the travel company has decided to put us all up in a hotel for the first week and has arranged a bus to take us from the airport to the hotel. My luggage is one of the last bags to be unloaded from the plane, so by the time I reach the bus I find that it’s overbooked. Fortunately, there is room for my luggage and I’ve got a rough idea of where the hotel is as I’ve been there before, so I volunteer to make my own way there. Rather than splash out for a cab, I decide to stretch my legs and make my own way there. The journey takes a while as I have to recall it from memory. I know I’m in the right area but I’ve memorised the wrong hotel name. I pop into another hotel to try and borrow their wi-fi and end up following a wild wedding reception in the corridors for a few minutes. Eventually I recognise the hotel by sight and spot my luggage in the lobby. All I have to do is check in but my travel papers are in a mess and my papers fly everywhere.

Paw Patrol

Dogs with anthropomorphic characteristics are being employed in our emergency service sectors alongside a human child who trains them, while everyone else just seems helpless to do anything else. These animals are happy to live and serve the people that need them providing that they get an adequate amount of rest and play too. They can fly, they can build, and they can operate a variety of vehicles to help them accomplish their tasks. As well as being heroes, each character has its own flaw to illustrate that it’s OK to have something wrong with you and that you must work together to get the job done. It’s great that the show encourages people to ask for help whenever they get in trouble, no matter how absurd the situation. I think that it’s great to see that the source of their evil is a bunch of cats; though the employment of a giant pink fur mouse may not necessarily do the trick. 

 

"As I have said, the first thing is to be honest with yourself. You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself...Great peacemakers are all people of integrity, of honest, but humility."

 -Nelson Mandela.

No one likes to repeat themselves but sometimes there's no other option if you want to get your message through. But I disagree that you have to change yourself before you can change the world. If you know that something is wrong, you shouldn't have to go on a spiritual journey first. You can't spend your days waiting for that epiphany that's going to be your game-changer. It might never come, and you’re just delaying the change even further and you might end up making it even harder to cultivate that change. You've got to take the first step yourself and get up and do it. If you know that you can do it then you should have the drive to succeed. But if you know that you're lying to yourself you're going to find it harder to convince others unless your primary goal is to deceive them. Remember that hiding your shame is going to make it easier for others to stop you, in which case you could end up in a vicious circle.

Memory Mattress

Is it natural to sleep in a hole? These manufacturers certainly seem to think so. If you’re a restless sleeper, wouldn’t you eventually carve a huge pit instead of the imprint of your head? It certainly seems that you should fork out extra cash for a personalised pillow. And of course, you can’t share it as it’d screw it up for the next person. But what if your position isn’t the only thing that it remembers? What if it remembers your dreams? It could certainly be handy for psychologists if you could watch them on your PC while you were awake. It could learn your thoughts and feelings and use them against you; either to manipulate your wallet (which may not be a bad thing if you reap the consequences also) or your actions to a higher purpose. Perhaps it could even influence what you dream. Would you want to leave it?

 

Step it Up!

We needed a new footstool for the kitchen. It had making jumping signs for a while when weight was upon it as the hinges weren’t locked. As Mum was stretching up to reach a cupboard, we heard a snap and it felt as if one of the hinges had snapped. It had, and this part would no longer lock the footstool in place. If she was younger I wouldn’t have minded her using it but I felt that it was safer to choose a new one. The regular shop just did a kid’s plastic brick which would just get in the way, but we needed one that could fold up and be stored out of the way in the corner. I found one that was black and had a handle. It was sturdier and was slightly higher than the old one and Mum felt comfortable using it. The only downside was that I found the same model for a few quid cheaper in a DIY store. Still, at least this one arrived quicker. 

Death by Ice Cream

There was a group of about nine of us that popped in for a lunchtime meal. We all managed to get seated together at one long table, and we were lucky enough to sit next to our hosts. As well as friends, there were also family members present that came out for the company. Some opted for the carvery, but our end of the table opted for the a la carte menu which was cooked fresh to order. After some amazing faggots that were cooked perfectly, it was time for dessert. We decided to go for a sharing sundae which came out in a huge bowl. It was filled with marshmallows, cream and wafers, and it was difficult to tell where the cream ended and the ice-cream began. The question was who was going to give in first, and was it enough for the both of us? And could I wash down a second pint ad be careful about driving home? Of course I could. 

One for the Road

It started off well with guests and tales of travels and adventures in foreign lands. There were some great stories about pinball wizards and locals giving advice that turned out not to be that great advice. And you also get to hear what life is like in the day of a beer distributor. Expect lots of banter and the occasional attempt at karaoke. There’s some great debates about what beers would a superhero drink, what would Van Gough drink as he painted each masterpiece and many more topics besides. But at the end of the day, it just comes down to two blokes sitting down and having a chat over a couple of beers. Sometimes it does get a bit stale and you can feel it in the presenter’s voices. It sounds like the lockdown is beginning to affect their plans. In any case they don’t seem to be producing any more; unless they’ve moved onto a video format. Hopefully things will pick up again soon.

Wye Valley Butty Bach at the Nailer's Arms, Bournheath

This countryside pub is immensely popular for its food and keeps its ales in good quality. It’s split into a large comfortable open room with wide tables to cater for large groups and offers a carvery as well as a local produce menu. A small bar with a real fire and a stone quarry floor for the locals is placed out the back; though it is possible to dine there if you so wish. This spills out onto a terraced beer garden with bench-side seating, while the opposite side of the pub has a quieter and more maintained beer garden. It’s certainly off the beaten track though. There’s a large car park but be prepared to climb the hill if you use it! The beer is kept well and you can usually find at least one of the region’s favourite local ales on cask. The pub has also hosted beer festival and BBQ weekends.

 

Hate

Hate can be a powerful emotion yet it can start from something small like not getting away as a toddler. Maybe playtime ended too early or you weren't able to get that toy or those sweets you wanted. All that unhappiness just builds and builds until your mind moves your body to do something to rebel against the stimulus in front of you; whether it's to lash out at the person who stopping your desire or maybe you’ll take one step further and try and stop your antagonist from reaching their goal. This clash of conflict isn't going to aid either of you so if a compromise isn't reached someone must be defeated. You might even make a lifetime enemy from one simple interaction that's gone wrong; and you'll spend the rest of your days planning to repel every future interaction without even realising it or recalling the original events in the first place. History is full of such conflicts.