Address to a Haggis

I’ve always thought of a haggis as a mixture of blackened mincemeat, onions and pepper. I’ve never pictured it as a little ball on two legs running around the forests of Scotland. It seems quite mythical. So I’m expecting some sort of poetical ode read out similar to something that you’d read out on a cold winter’s night in honour of the Scottish bard, but maybe not in a Scottish accent. And I was right. It’s an honour bestowed above all other foods, a luxury that would make other nationalities shudder at the thought of it. If you don’t like the stuff there’s now a vegetarian version, though it’s also very practical as ammo if you must. I wouldn’t recommend it for building fixtures in this day and age though. The latter half is hard to make sense of since you’d need to understand the meaning of the other Scottish words.