Powering Down

I’m still not convinced that electric cars are the way to go in the quest to solve the energy crisis. I can see the short-term effects for the environment. There’ll be less machines sending greenhouse gases into the air, making our streets cleaner in urban areas. But these machines are sure to give off heat which will only add to local temperatures. We’ll also need more methods to power these vehicles; which will put a greater strain on our power stations and their environment. We’ll still need a greener way to produce power to keep these vehicles moving. We’ll need mobile power units for when these cars fail; which will be much more awkward than asking for a friend to bring out a tankard of gas. Of course, in these instances it could just mean more towing; but we also need to ensure that people are towing safely. Or will be there a new car design which means that changing a car battery will be as easy as changing a light bulb?

Gardens and Giraffes

Garden centres aren’t necessarily great places to get breakfast. For starters, they’re placed in some very strange locations. They’re usually convenient for the people that live there and they aren’t always great value; but we had a B.O.G.O.F voucher. Having looked at the menu, I decided that without the voucher it would be very pricey. Luckily, we’d already decided to come here as a destination as it was en route to another place. The café was busy but there were a few tables outside where a corner of the centre had been roped off with reed fencing to make a private garden for café customers. For the price that we paid, I expected the ingredients to be a bit more farm fresh; but it seemed to be from the usual freshly frozen catering pack. It’s not every day that you get to dine al fresco with a giraffe in the morning during a great British summer; even if it’s a metallic one.

Father's Day

It’s funny how sometimes you don’t miss something until it’s gone. Father’s Day used to be a list-minute chore of seeking out a card and an ill-gotten last-minute gift; often bought on the day while I’m at work or staggered out after a heavy Saturday evening out. We never really did anything or went anywhere for it; probably because my old man never did. Now it’s just another day. It’s hard to think it should be a day to commemorate and remember because we have too many other days for that and we need to get on with our own lives. Now there’s just an unwritten card in a drawer which will probably stay there until the end of time, unless someone’s desperate for it. But there is a way forward, and that’s for me to become a father and make it my day. It’s time to create new memories.

Unlike the Licensee

I’ve decided to boycott future visits to a certain pub. I’ve seen the licensee both in and out of his pub; and I’ve also seen his dark side and how mad he can get. The staff that he organises at his festivals always seem to be people that he’s roped in at the last minute and they’re not generally employees. His beer lacks a certain condition too -it’s as if it’s still settling. I’m amazed that he’s kept his award-winning title this year. Still, it must have a good loyal, local following. I only tend to visit when there’s a festival on and it’s very rare that I pop in as I’m passing. I’m also not impressed with the bottles that I’ve bought from his beer shop. I spent over £50 on bottles that were over a fiver each and when I got home I noticed that some of the foreign ones were past their sell-by date. He used to visit out events and crawls but he doesn’t any more. So I’m going to return the favour.

A Bodged Box

Photobooks are the new thing. Why pay for your photos to be printed and buy an album to put them in when you can just get them printed directly into a book? After all, there’s no lucky dip on the reel any more; you can simply choose which ones you want. We found a website that did just that which just happened to have a half price offer on as well. Once we’d chosen the photos, the next step was to upload them. This took absolutely ages; and their online software didn’t seem to want to recognise some of the photos either. When we’d finished, we had difficulty in getting the software to display them in the order that we wanted; even when we’d re-numbered each file. The only way around it was to upload each file individually. Once we’d paid, we were told that there would be a week’s wait which turned out to be twelve days. At one point I began to question the value of a £4.99 delivery charge. But on the last day that we would tolerate a late delivery, it finally came. It’s not something that I’d like to go through again.  

Beer & Bookies

It’s not always a good idea to combine beer with the bookies, but people seem to make a great trade out of it. It certainly took us in. after a few beers we decided to pop into a local betting shop and have a flutter on the Grand National, since they would be showing it in the pub anyway. It was quite a clean and well-kept place, and we soon worked out the slip system. I’d decided to put a fiver on one horse with high odds to win. It was something that I could afford and it would let me join in the fun with a slight chance of a cash bonus at the end. One of my mates loved the idea of putting a bet each way, and chose four horses which cost him a total of £30 to place. We went back to the pub to watch the race. My horse didn’t win, and it took a while to figure out the results to work out whether my friend had won anything as we waded through his many betting slips.

A Walk on the Dark Side

“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.”- George Addair.

It’s scary to think what the future will bring. Sure, there’s good stuff and things to look forward to. But there’s also the ‘what if things go wrong’ path. But sometimes that’s the risk that we’ve got to take. If you want it, then you’ve got to see it through and go and get it. You’ve got to convince yourself that it’s the right way despite the consequences, even if it means doing things that you’re not comfortable doing or would cause distress to others. It might be a big decision but sometimes you’ve got to venture into that unknown fork and do whatever it takes with the hope that things will turn out right for you. And of course, if you’ve planned to take that path or you can control its direction, then it will be a very smooth journey for you. And once you’ve conquered that path, the next one will be a lot easier.

Family Portrait

What’s going on here? I’m perfectly happy lying on the floor playing with all the things lying around. Suddenly, I’m being picked up and put on someone’s knee. Now I have to look across the room at someone. I hate that they talk to me in that high-pitched voice. How can I expect to understand them? They certainly won’t understand me. At least I’m a little higher so I can see the room better, an I’m on the same level as everyone else. Well. I’d better let them have their fun I suppose. I might even get something out of it. But look how small I am. I don’t like this. If I shut my eyes it’ll go away, but there’s still lots of strange noises around. There’s only one thing that I can do. make that noise. I don’t like it and I know they don’t either, but at least they’ll pay attention to me.

House of the Flies

I’m being haunted by flies. On Sunday evening I took a whack at a fly that was buzzing around the window. It was a hit in mid-air but he did lie still on the windowsill afterwards. I used a newspaper to scoop him up and I put his body in the wastepaper basket. Then on Monday I saw another fly sitting on the windowsill. So I scooped him up with the newspaper and put him in the wastepaper basket then I wondered if it was the same fly. He might have regained consciousness and decided for a second attempt at freedom. But a quick wiggle of the wastepaper basket clearly showed me two flies. Today there was another fly on the windowsill. I didn’t check the wastepaper basket this time but clearly something is going on. Have I killed the Queen of the fly hive and all her minions have come back to either mourn her or haunt me?  

Tiny Tots

It’s great to see little ones take their first step into the world. those tiny feet are eager to explore and be independent, though sometimes they need a guiding hand. It might be to keep them away from any danger or it could simply be trying to stop them from toppling over. They’re grateful for the guidance so that they can be like everyone else and take part in the fun.  They can be determined to learn and you must let them have their own moments of independence. If it’s colourful or shiny, they’ll want to be near it. If they can interact with it; whether it’s banging on the fence or picking something up to see what happens, they’ll give it a go regardless of the consequences. Sometimes they’ll struggle as they won’t understand that it’s not safe for them to be off the leash. And if they don’t like it, they’ll let you know.

The Tick

This show is very enjoyable and it’s hard to avoid binge-watching it; especially when one cliff-hanger blends from one episode to the next in the first series. There are some excellent characters here who all have some sort of conflict with themselves as well as each other. The Tick has some fantastic catchphrases and metaphors. It’s also nice to see that superheroes have everyday issues as well that they can’t avoid. It’s a shame that Tick becomes a background character in the second series. One thing is for sure is that no one whole character knows all the answers; which forces them all to work together (for a while) to get what they want. I would have like to have known a little bit about Tick’s origin. And could the primary protagonists have a love interest or is it to be to each other? Hopefully these issues will resolve themselves in a future series.

The Vicious Vicar

When you go to a wedding, you instantly think that the couple have had some connection with the vicar. They’ve at least sat down with them over a cup of tea and discussed how they’d like the ceremony to proceed. But this vicar was clearly on the clock. She actually slammed the church door shut as soon as the last person crossed the threshold. The next stage of the day was to have photos taken in the church grounds. We were waiting to be called up to take our positions and some horses pulling a carriage had arrived to convey the happy couple to the reception venue. I took my nieces over to stroke them while we waited. The horses had pulled up on the road right outside the church entrance. And there in the driveway was the vicar sitting in her mini with a fag in her mouth waiting for the horses to move. It’s got a great image for the church, and we must wonder what her passion is.

Cocky Customers

Sometimes you see the desperation in a parent begin to get the better of them. They tend to ignore everything you say to them and say everything twice to you as if you’re stupid and the scum of the earth that needs to be straightened out. It’s the frustration of being part of a process that has ignored your request because it doesn’t recognise your input. And there’s the raised voice which only causes your reaction to repeat what you’ve already stated. The whole thing makes both parties look ignorant and irresponsible of the other; while the process that causes this just quietly and innocently glistens in the background, showcasing other people that have yet to go through this experience as if to say; ‘it works for everyone else; it’s just that this person’s different’. It’s about time that the process needs to open up more to deal with these demands.

The Dead are Watching

I sometimes wonder if the dead are watching me. Are they interacting with environment around me and are they having fun while they do it? What powers do they have? Do they have to do chores to earn a certain number of credits to manipulate the world around them? Do they have to earn brownie points just to have a peek at the world that they’ve left behind? Maybe they’re secretly shouting at you in the background. Maybe they’re able to cause some sort of disturbance which decides the outcome of certain situations. In a similar way, do the actions that we perform affect the environment on a lower plane? We have a rough idea of what we do that affects our surroundings in both the short and long term; but does this earn us points in another realm? If there’s always someone watching, would you be comfortable performing the actions that you do? What would happen when it would be time to face them?

The Flip #devilsdaughter3

Luke didn’t need telling twice. He knew an invite when he saw one. He took a step forward onto the bed and took off his jacket. He made a reach for the phone which was hidden on the other side of her mountainous left breast. Lucinda gave out a fake sigh as his hand made a stretch and tried to reach over her boob and just about made contact with the other side of its peak.

Lucinda whispered, ‘Play those bongos, baby.’ He began to pull himself up and up over those long smooth legs that were amply cushioned by that amazing derriere. As his ass began to rub up in line with her abs, he noticed how hard they felt compared to the pillows above.

‘It’s never too late for pancakes’ she whispered. With a bounce of her ass, she managed to flip him up into the air and onto his other side where he had no choice but to enter her on a surprisingly soft landing.

Wristband Woes

We’ve been given some wristbands to sell to raise money for a national charity and some lanyards as well. The event’s been and gone and we’ve got plenty of stock left over. The problem is that the stock’s got the date printed on it so we won’t be able to sell it at the next event. The solution is to give the stock away to charitable organisations. I’ve taken the lanyards to use at our volunteer events and I’ve given some wristbands to my sister-in-law who works at a nursery. She can use them as prizes at a sports day. But there’s still loads of stuff left that can’t be used again. Surely the organisations who make these have foreseen this? You’d have thought that their operation would be a bit more economical? Are they hoping to sell these at next year’s event as collector’s items at a reduced rate? It would have been a lot better to sell them in short demand which would justify a price increase the following year.

Who's to Blame?

If you have something wrong with the item that you’ve bought, who’s to blame? If you discover the fault straight away, it’s easy to force the seller to correct the problem before you leave their premises. But what happens after that? Most vendors will honour any damage noted within a set time period but the sooner said the better. After all, they’re probably not going to see the great scratch on your item when you drop it on the floor as soon as you’ve taken it out of the box. But dealing with returns can be trickier. Is it the manufacturer to blame because of that lazy assembly line employee who forgot to pack that crucial last part in your box because the lunch bell rang? Or is it the warehouse lackey who’s rushing around trying to get as much done as possible in the short spell of time that he has?

Black Sheep Square 1 at the Bramley Cottage, Redditch

There’s nothing small about this cottage on a main road which serves a variety of estates. It’s gone from a simple boozer with a play area for the kids to a destination pub for fine dining and meeting up with friends. A long bar takes centre stage, while tables veer off into the end for fine dining. A drinking area hasn’t been forgotten and there are tables just for this purpose. There’s also a variety of alcoves for more intimate areas. And there’s no bad apples here. There are at least three real ales on the bar; one of which is usually tied to a beer brewed just for the pub chain. Others are from national independents. If it’s a weekend, you may see a fourth. There’s also a fully stocked bar with other known brands, and they put the colour of the beers out on show so that you know what you’re getting.

Time Zombies #timezombies

Across time, there has been trouble. Things haven’t always worked out the way they should have. One day, on his way from being sacked at work, Tom takes a shortcut through the graveyard in the rain. He trips over a very loose gnarled tree root and goes face down in the mud; while his takeaway pizza goes flying. As he gets to his feet, he discovers that his glasses are cracked. He makes a grab for a box-like object and comes on home; unaware that he’s being watched by an unseen creature examining the text on the pizza box with a strange glass-like object. Meanwhile, Tom returns home and puts on his spare glasses to discover that instead of a pizza box, he’s ended up with a large picture book with complicated wheels inside to turn. In despair, he throws the book onto his bed and hits the shower. When he returns to his room, the book is glowing.  

You Will be Upgraded

We’ve been upgraded! We’re getting a TiVo box and a new router which will give us faster speeds. We won’t notice our router so much as all our equipment is ancient anyway. But the ability to record live TV will be very useful. We’re told that it’s also very easy to set up and we won’t need an engineer and all the equipment will be delivered to us. We just choose when to set it up then call them to activate the new equipment then plug it in. there’s a new set of wires that we will have to screw off and on but they come with instructions. It kind of went to plan but for some reason we had to run through it twice. When we finished, we ended up with a load of equipment that we should stash away in case we have a cold war and need it back. But we have another problem. The supplied remote only works the box; it doesn’t work the TV. Instead of giving codes for manufacturers or publishing them on-line, you have to play around typing in the codes hoping that you’ll hit the jackpot.

Black Spot

I’ve had the same phone for quite a while. When I first got the phone, all was well, but within a few years there’s always been a bit of a black spot in the corner when I take photos. I took the camera out of the case to give it clean but it doesn’t make any difference. Then I realised that it was the case that was fraying so I decided to get a new case. But it doesn’t seem to make a difference. Third party products aren’t what they were. It seems that the firms that supply them aren’t trying any more. When you buy a product and it’s brand new then they want to be as compatible as possible. But when you’re buying something that’s near the end of its shelf life, you kind of get the impression that they’re not trying any more. Either that or they’ve reached the end of their stock and you end up with the rejects that other people have returned.

Piecing it all Together

Wahey! I get to piece together a curvy chick with large boobs as part of a Christmas present. I’m not a big Trekkie fan but I do know the context of the character and I’ve watched the occasional episode. The trouble is that there is a hell of a lot of blue. So much blue in so many different shades makes this jigsaw very complicated. Perhaps the Star Trek wardrobe department should shell out for a few more colours. It took three months to piece together. It got to a stage where the only way forward is just to sort the pieces by shape rather than looking at the colour. And it’s easy to go wrong there too. But once you’ve got used to looking at knobs and holes, you can get into a rhythm. At least this way my friend can see that it’s completed, And Mum can have her tablecloth back; albeit with a bit more sawdust.

Quote me Happy

Happiness is easier to achieve when you’re five years old. You’re looking at what’s around you rather than into the future. When you’re a child, others work hard to please you but when you’re an adult you must work hard to please yourself, or at least share in the happiness of others to make life just that little bit more bearable. Is that why many people have children; as their happiness is easier to create? It makes you wonder why should you do a job that doesn’t make you happy or bring happiness to others? Instead you should aim to do something that does, or at least make a change. You might think that being a doctor is great and comes with lots of benefits, but the higher you climb, the greater the responsibility. Is that something that you really want to take on? It sure is easy when you can go home with the satisfaction of a job well done without any worries.

Left Behind

It’s a big situation to face. You’ve got a lot of high value items that have been left behind. Sometimes it’s one or two items; other times it’s a whole cage. But these are the numbers which are affecting our results. Do we take the hit of expenditure to show our effectiveness in putting the delivery away? Or do we whisk the items away as fast as we can to show our efficiency is better than stock value? Either way, some sort of target is going to be affected by our decision. We have to look at our figures in advance and try to decide which factor is going to take the hit. We need a middle measure here, or at least some better sort of guidelines. Fortunately, this year they’ve changed the rules slightly so that we can write off the stock while reap the benefits of getting the delivery completed. Finally faultless. Providing it turns up on time.

The Beer Snatch

Annoying, isn’t it? It’s the end of the working week. You’ve worked hard to get money in the bank and time to spend with those that you care about. You’re sitting in a restaurant enjoying a great conversation with a friend. You’re both getting rowdier and more animated as you’re getting into the topic of your conversation. You let go of that precious glass of nectar in front of you as you let yourself go. Then suddenly, the glass starts to move away from you. You turn to the hand that collected it which says, ‘sorry, I thought you’d finished with that.’ Once it’s gone, it’s gone, especially if it was the last pint of the barrel. It’s especially annoying with kids’ drinks. Not only are they ridiculously overpriced, but they’re upsetting even more people, especially when they don’t have the confidence to argue back. So don’t do it, or at least if there’s a huge pile of glasses on the table, at least ask us before you do. You might even be as polite to offer us another and make us part with some more hard-earned cash.

Back to Front

There’s a new process that we have to follow at work. Once a week, we must send extra stock back to our local depot to ensure that they have stock to sell. We might get the same item back later in the day, but at least it keeps the items in a place where they’re most likely to be sold. Of course, it then means that someone must pick the stock, even if it’s a case of sending a hazy picture to another manager to tell them that they need to delegate someone to perform this task. The other unhappy part of this task if that you’ve got to load up all these items onto a van. You’ve then got to hope that the driver will be co-operative and help you to load it all up. Unfortunately, we pack the larger items up in the back to secure the space in the cage. This means that we have to plan for space at the end when we’re loading.

Class

This was a very dark spin-off for Doctor Who. It had some excellent well-thought out monsters which portrayed a viable plot at the start of the series which gave you enough motive to see it through. Then at the end you’re just as confused as the characters in the show; shocked by what you’ve seen and trying to make sense of it all. I hated the fact that gay love is thrust into your face as you watch. Tanya’s lack of social skills combined with her advanced intelligence isn’t really made clear until much later in the series; so we don’t really get to know how she came to Coal Hill or learn much about her. The characters are far too serious apart from the sadistic sarcasm of Quill but her vicious delivery is portrayed as more of an insult than a joke. It’s a shame that future episodes were cancelled as it looked like it was properly getting to sync up with the rest of the Whoniverse.

Animals Behind Bars

It may seem quite a tradition to have a brass horse’s head behind the bar, but in some countries a horse’s head can be quite traumatic; especially if it’s found left in a bed. This one’s guarded by a German Shepherd if you want to try and get your hands on it. Hares are also popular at this time of year, so it’s common for breweries to use them to promote their beers. And is it never too late to be an early bird? Maybe after last orders. Getting served by these creatures would make for a very interesting bar. Pulling handpumps may be a bit difficult but they could be trained to operate the buttons for the fonts. A piece of string may do the trick. Then all that’s needed is a smaller hatch where the beers could be slid out once payment has been taken. Might take a while to train them though.

Water Worries

We’ve been having a lot of trouble with our upstairs water supply lately. As well as the toilet not flushing as powerful as it should, we’ve now got problems with the hot water tap in the sink. It turns OK, but it only puts out a small trickle instead of a powerful stream, and it’s very difficult to turn off again. It takes the use of a towel on the top to shut it off again, and you have to tighten it to the point that you feel that you’re crushing something. And then there’s the shower. Sometimes it only runs to a trickle in the summer months when it’s hot; though that could be when someone else uses the downstairs or outside tap. Is the age of the taps or is there something else going on? We’ve got the plumber coming around to service the boiler next month, so with a bit of luck he’ll be able to sort something out.  

The Unknown File

This may just look like an innocent black square, but the mystery is what the camera was trying to capture at the time. I’m not sure whether it was a picture or a video. When I transferred it to the computer, it recognised it as a picture, but the picture editing software wouldn’t detect the file, so there was no chance of brightening the image to see any hidden blurs. What I didn’t do was open it in a universal media player to see if that made any difference. It was a morning photo taken just after a friend’s visit during a lot of snow. In the same week, I took a lot of pictures and did a lot of googling beforehand to work out what was open and what was not. Maybe it was a corrupted image that someone sent me through a message application. Whatever it was meant to be, we shall never know.