Friday 30 June 2023

Crossroads

I love how the landscape is shaped so that everything echoes everything else. The bridge naturally compliments the curve of the corner, which is constructed both for the direction of the canal and for its width to allow other boats to pass. Even the trees are arranged to offer natural shelter and shade for the boaters whilst allowing the whole area to blend into the landscape. The brickwork of the lock is very inclusive while the lock gates themselves are painted to reflect the surrounding shade. I’m guessing that the ends are painted white to aid the Tillermen in opening the gates at night. Even the person crossing the bridge is wearing a red helmet which compliments the brickwork, and from a long distance could be mistaken for a redhead. The only thing that stands out is the unnatural red bin, and it’s a shame that the green bin couldn’t be painted in a different shade.


Thursday 29 June 2023

Striptease #Titannabell 15

The giantess was standing in front of them in all her glory. She was wrapped tightly in many of the satin blankets that they’d used to cover up the windows.

‘I thought we could have a bit of fun if you guys know of a place’ smiled the giantess.

‘Apologies’ said the first guard, but our orders are to keep you here ma’am’.

‘Oh, what a pity. Perhaps you could help me cover up the doorway with these blankets. There’s such a draught coming through.’

‘Yes ma’am. What do you recommend?’

‘Well, my curves are holding up these blankets. I can hold them up on one side but it would be a great help if someone could find something to fasten them.’ As the giantess moved the guard felt something tighten below his waist then he realised something. He undid his belt.

‘Would this help?’ he asked, holding it up.

Wednesday 28 June 2023

Avoiding the Stoning

Rainbows give hope. I’m not sure why. They’re pretty to look at and there’s a science which explains how they’re formed, but I always see them as false hope. It’s the biblical tale that’s told when the floods wash away evil and it’s a promise that we’ll never see a similar event again. Now records might not date back that far, but with climate change a lot of people are wondering how big the initial flood was. But they’re quick and easy to draw which is what makes them so attractive. Then you’ve got LGB organisations using the same colours in their logos which are ironically painted onto rocks by innocent children. This is alongside a picture of a tree just in case all the trees perished so that at least an image of them has been preserved. You’re better off believing in stars as they’re always there. You’ve just got to find them.


Tuesday 27 June 2023

Inhumans

Imagine being in control of every piece of your gigantic hair as if it was a limb then being separated from it for the rest of the journey. Sure, it would grow back again, but you would look so less sexier. I was disappointed that the only thing that we saw was a man being smothered. I was also  disappointed that there wasn’t any Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D tie-ins. I’d also like to question the practicalities of keeping a giant dog as a pet and how everywhere conveniently has space for him, though I suppose he does have the opportunity to teleport elsewhere for the housekeeping stuff. I love the banter between the cousins though, and some of the powers are well thought out, though it’s a shame that we have to wait till the very end to see the oddly named King use his power. It’s nice to see that Marvel has a bit of variety in their characters though.

Monday 26 June 2023

Hard Graft

It was quite emotional for me to be the first person to shake my brother’s hand and convey my congratulations. After we’d completed the formal witness book, we went back to the chapel so that everyone could take pictures of the poses. Then we had to head off to the lake for individual wedding shots. Once this was done, we headed into the dining room for the reception and the traditional speeches, one of which was read in proxy. Then a small break took place which allowed us to visit someone that wasn’t able to attend. When we returned, the evening reception was in full swing in a marquee at the rear of the house. There was even a photo booth with lots of props for everyone to pose with. Once the non-residents had dispersed, the bar staff opened up the library which had a fine selection of spirits for the rest of us.


Sunday 25 June 2023

Mother dumps her child at a store instead of hiring a babysitter

Yes, it’s shocking. Yes, there’s two victims here. But there’s also a sense of neglect that could have prevented the event from happening in the first place. The story also mentions that more than one child had been dumped in the store. Would it really be too much to share the cost of a minder? Are retail staff expected to fulfil childcare duties? I’m assuming this is a small quiet store, but even if a worker was serving a customer there would be nothing else in place to stop another member of the public coming in to groom the child. What would happen if the store had to unexpectedly close? There’s also nothing to stop the children of getting the idea of wandering out of the store either, where anything could happen without the mother knowing or having someone accountable for the child. There’s a lot of trust in these places for the wrong reasons.

Saturday 24 June 2023

Easy Graft

We wait for the best man to arrive. And wait. And wait. We really need to get going ourselves. I wonder if I’m going to be taking the groom instead. Then just as we approach the point where we’re about to call him, he arrives. We follow on and park up on a gravelly driveway opposite the mansion. We’re shown to our rooms where we quickly change, then head to the bar for a quick drink before we’re called into the chapel. Outside the hotel, I see my youngest niece fighting with her cousin, and absolutely flattens him. I try not to laugh. The chapel is small and plain but cosy as well. We take a seat near the front and I try to sit at the end so that I can record the ceremony without disturbing the audience. The girls are looking gorgeous. They’re not exactly sure of what’s going on, but they’re enjoying being dressed up as princesses for the day. 

 

Friday 23 June 2023

Burning Rubber

It’s always good to store someone’s mobile number on your phone even if there’s a slim chance of you ever ringing them again. It gives you quick access if you suddenly find that you do need to ring them, and if they ring you then at least you know who it is. This was a small gentleman who was keen to show visitors his city. Though we only spent a few minutes with him, he got us to where we needed to go, and offered to pick us up afterwards. Even though it was short notice, he still attempted to collect us to make our train, and when he realised that he would be too late, he took the time to send his cousin to ensure that we’d make our connection. He was probably preventing our cash going to a rival service, but it’s good to see someone who cares about their promises for a change.

Thursday 22 June 2023

Touching You

Of course, when it’s on a postcard, everyone involved in the card’s journey can have a quick glimpse of your adventure. I wonder what the printer is thinking. Do they cast their eyes over the content or is at all mechanised? Am I making their heart sink because we’ve had to stop our activities, even though they’re not the printer that we use? When it’s a card, it’s more personal as it’s both sealed and covered. But am I belittling the recipient by pointing out the obvious? Is there a sense of merriment in the sense that I’ve bothered to  send such a card? Am I making them worried by reminding them of the isolation of the situation or bringing up bad memories? Am I making them more miserable? It’s not exactly a flattering message or tale of inspirational hope but it’s not a demand for action or payment either. 

 

Wednesday 21 June 2023

Axe the Tax

What is going on in the world of beer sales? We were promised a new measure of taxation levels to allow pubs to compete competitively with supermarkets. But all they’ve actually done is put up the price of off-licence beer which generates complaints from the armchair drinkers as well as the breweries; especially if they’re trying to sell their beer outside of the pub. Then suddenly there’s a blanket ban of licensed premises not being able to sell beer to people to take home. What is going on? Is it going to be too complicated to work out a higher level of tax? Surely the duty should be calculated by the brewery as they’re the ones responsible for the method of dispense, though it could get complicated if you’re decanting some beer out of a barrel into a milk carton. And the strength of the beer doesn’t seem to matter any more, which just sounds irresponsible. It doesn’t make sense.

Tuesday 20 June 2023

The Good Beer Guide 2024

The Good Beer Guide 2024The Good Beer Guide 2024 by Emma Haines
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

It’s always a difficult read to take in the best pubs in the country to find new beers. A lot of it is very repetitive, though occasionally there are some unique and amusing tips which makes these pubs the ones that you want to visit. This year’s foreword seems to focus on introducing people to our movement; perhaps because we’re expected to pick up new readers as a result of the chosen cover and theme. Shamefully, Roger Protz’s excellent analysis of the current brewery scene has been pushed towards the back, and should have been at the forefront as a campaigning issue. Some sections are just repetitive, and perhaps it would have been better to have included some images, though I suppose that as it’s a reference book they wouldn’t necessarily expect someone to read it as a book. It’s a shame that the Kent area has seemed to have skipped the editorial stage. Hopefully they’ll be more vigilant next year.

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Monday 19 June 2023

Vouchercloud

It’s a competitive world out there. These firms are trying to buy your business. They’re usually chain firms offering you cheap deals to drive you away from the competition. They want you to try something new at a discount, and if they impress you then you’re hooked and you’re less likely to try another competitor next time. A lot of them are relying on this business model but haven’t banked on the consumer choice to encourage them to return. You could equally get hooked on only purchasing convenience deals by sticking to the website. You’ll then be drawn to rely on their website all the time without looking for other offers. It still encourages website visits as shoppers are encouraged to visit these sites first to see what the deals are. I’ve never got into the habit of checking them out as I don’t seek out the brand just for the sake of a deal.

Sunday 18 June 2023

Fast Fetterings

I ran out of my free postcard allowance, so being as I only had one more subscriber to contact it worked out cheaper for me to produce a quick card. What a mismatch of clipart! It’s not the ideal cover that I’d want to send out, but I had to put something together quickly that tied in with our branding. It’s also strange how the display insists on keeping the white background by trimming the magazine image. At least the message got through, and I also had the opportunity to engage them with a campaign as well. I also couldn’t be bothered with faffing around with inside or rear images. I wonder if they’ll display it with pride on the mantelpiece or if they’ll just read it with a chuckle or concern for the expense before binning it. I cancelled my subscription shortly afterwards as the prices started to increase.

 

Saturday 17 June 2023

"You have to set yourself goals so you can push yourself harder. Desire is the key to success."

-Usain Bolt.

You know where you want to be, but you just have to get there. It might take a lot of time. The only way to achieve it is to make it realistic and break the task down into manageable chunks by deciding when you’re going to do it. If you can’t make one goal, you have to try harder the next time. Once you’ve done that, it becomes easier to overcome what is expected of you. You can concentrate on breaking through a barrier each time as it becomes easier. But you have to want to do it as well. If you don’t feel convinced that it’s worth doing then it’s just going to look like an act, like a team that refuses to work together, and you’re just leaving it to chance. Once it is achieved you’ll feel good. And if you don’t achieve it, you might have the opportunity to try again.

Friday 16 June 2023

Endangered

We’re slowly reaching a tipping point where resources are running out. People who just want to manage a business without the hassle of owning it are being charged extortionate prices that just can’t be met when they’re unable to trade. If utilities are included then that’s fair enough, though you’d expect a reduction as half of the building won’t be in use. If it’s not then you’ve still got to pay for your home, though at the same time you’re there for free monitoring the property. And if you can’t earn any cash then you’ve got a bit of a problem. The pub companies can’t earn any money while you’re shut, though they’re struggling to make ends meet anyway and are to trying to flog the buildings for housing cash as soon as possible. Does that mean that you’re going to be evicted? At least the government has offered to subsidise the income for a bit and halt any eviction processes.


Thursday 15 June 2023

Possession #dream diary 156

It’s just a book of A5 paper. It’s not even professionally printed. Apart from the cover, it’s just a blank pamphlet stapled together. The cover looks like it’s just come out of a desktop printer. There’s a simple portrait of a hyena’s face placed in a scowl while bearing its fangs. Above it is a simple title in Impact font stating ‘Possession. Free your Mind.’ Once you pick it up, it’s very hard to put down. You want to do it very quickly once you realise that there’s just blank pages inside but you can feel something building up inside yourself. It’s evil rage. You try to drop it but the pamphlet jumps off the table onto your face. You try to batter it away but it just smothers you as you hear ferocious deep voices calling, and all you want to do is scream, tear, swear and destroy. Any last ounce of sanity will be spent getting as far away as you can from everything and everyone. 

Wednesday 14 June 2023

The Last Recording of Mankind?

So hopefully this message landed onto a few doorsteps. It could have been the last thing that anyone had ever printed. Civilisation could have vanquished overnight and this might have been what was left in a red pillar box waiting to be distributed by the postman. Granted, there would have been other more interesting materials out there such as unpaid bills and magazine subscriptions depicting our current way of life. But this was printed on an island where perhaps some sort of civilisation would have been able to have taken shelter from the disaster. It doesn’t state what the event was but hopefully people at the time would have been tuned into what’s occurred. There’s also some reassurance that the postage has been paid, though by whom and for what service it doesn’t say. At least it attempts to be informative and bring good vibes despite what the event was.  


Tuesday 13 June 2023

Child labour is still a reality in some countries. What is it like?

There’s a loose definition of child labour. It exists today even in developed countries. It might not be slavery but when children start to become aware of their surroundings; it’s important for adults to demonstrate some form of independence and that they can’t cater to the child’s every desire. This is done by ensuring that the child pitches in to help the family function. It might be a small simple ask like drying the dishes or setting the table, or it could be fetching items off the supermarket shelf to put into the trolley, but it’s still a task that needs doing and it’ll save the family some time. Some families actively seek out paid work for their children to support the family unit. Children learn responsibility but they might not have any control over their earnings. It might be on a farm harvesting crops or tending to the animals. Their small size makes them easier to enter dangerous places that adults can’t access, but these jobs would also make them vulnerable. The time spent in employment may also prevent from receiving a good education or socialising with their peers.

Monday 12 June 2023

Postcard Power

Luckily, I’d somehow managed to subscribe to a print service in the previous year which sent personalised postcards. I’d cancelled the regular subscription a few months back but I still had a few tokens to spend on postcards up my sleeve. As I wasn’t going anywhere for the foreseeable future, I saw this as the ideal opportunity to spend these credits before they expired. There wasn’t anything that stated that you couldn’t design the postcards for corporate use and they looked very professional. I didn’t receive a response from any of the subscribers or any objections from the printer regarding the content, but from the preview screen it all looked very professional and at least the organisation didn’t have to pay anything. Disappointingly, I didn’t get any approval or acknowledgement from the producers of the magazine either. Perhaps they thought that the situation was too obvious to mention. I just hope that the recipients actually received them. 

 

Sunday 11 June 2023

Airport Tycoon 2

It’s a fun little game where you get to build your empire and have some fun piloting some great aircraft without the complexity of confusing controls, but there’s plenty of room for improvement. The graphics and sound effects are well-designed, albeit the lack of a few features in realism. The soundtrack is entertaining at first, but gets annoying after a few sessions with its repetitive sound. There’s not much of a world to explore. The sites that are indicated need to be more interactive and the sites that you purchase need to be indicated. There’s also little use of having planes when you buy portals, and there’s a lot more things that you should be able to earn more cash on, including charting flights. You can visit the islands of fellow players but they don’t always want to talk and it’s frustrating if they quit the game while you’re visiting as it can leave you abandoned in the ocean. Sometimes there’s blockages which slows down your cashflow. There’s more features being added so I’ll have to keep my eye on it.

Saturday 10 June 2023

Loose Logos

Our club’s logo is changing, and there are strict guidelines as to how it can be used. It’s a bit of a shame as everyone is used to the old one and it’s easy to add to artwork. The good news is that you can adapt it to a limited choice of fifteen colours so hopefully it’ll blend in with the graphic that you are using as opposed to always having it in silhouette. The bad news is that it must include the little circle next to the main logo. I have no idea what it’s meant to represent or why it must be greyed out. Is it a bubble to suggest that we’re a thinktank? Is it designed to look like liquid dripping? And why is it attached to a giant quarter circle? It’s just not practical and it creates a lot more work. The only advantage that I can see for it is that it’s harder for other organisations to reproduce our work.


Friday 9 June 2023

Teenage Mode

I thought this would be a whole interactive mode where anything you ask would be awkward and lengthy with a load of exhaustive sounds, eventually giving in. Unfortunately, she goes back to her default voice. Then after a lot of arguments and ‘You can’t make me’ phrases, it gives up and goes back to its default listening mode. Just like a typical teenager, it doesn’t do very much because it doesn’t really want to. If you ask a knowledge question or something it doesn’t understand, you’d think it wouldn’t have stopped with the phrase ‘I’m not sure’, but then it apologises as well so you the game is over. I wonder if people got exhaustive using this mode so the developers decided it wasn’t worth incorporating it any further. I suppose it’s good if you want to mimic somebody. I’d better stop going on about it now as it’s quite dull and aimless. It’s quite a good definition really.

Thursday 8 June 2023

Emergency Postcards

So services are stopping and this ours; a county newsletter funded by advertisers to spread the word about pubs, breweries, beers and campaigning activities in our area. Our advertisers couldn’t trade so they wouldn’t be able to provide us with any revenue to produce the magazine, and we didn’t have any reserved funds either. The only thing we could do is halt production until civilisation could be restored. There was a plan to make the website an information board detailing where people could access goods and services and deliver vital supplies to the vulnerable as well as alcoholic ones but it never took off. So I somehow had to find a quick and easy solution to our postal subscribers to get a message across that we’d paused production. An e-mail address would have been handy but if they had that facility they could take the opportunity to discover updates themselves and save them some postage fees in the first place.    


Wednesday 7 June 2023

Party Patty #Empress 15

‘Party on’ said the obese stranger.

‘HOW DARE YOU ADDRESS AN EMPRESS AS SUCH? YOU WILL ADDRESS ME IN THE CORRECT MANNER, AND WHEN YOU DO SO, YOU WILL INFORM ME OF YOUR ACTIVTIES LAST NIGHT’ bellowed the Empress. Her voice was thunderous in the echoey chamber.

‘Yes your highness’ slurred the man. ‘I patronised Zang’s tavern last night and sampled their various meats and wines.’

‘Excellent’ said the Empress to the guards, ‘He will do nicely if he was found in the streets. All that protein soaked in alcohol… We must find more like him if we can.’ Now flame him.

The guard threw a bucket of liquid of liquid over the man then took a torch that was mounted on the wall. He then lit the man’s robes which caught light instantly. The man screamed and started to run then tripped on his robes and hit the ground.

Tuesday 6 June 2023

Family Portrait

The little one feels like she’s joining in with her drinks, but she doesn’t understand who this strange man is who wants to take her photo. The other child knows exactly what’s going on and doesn’t need to be comforted by mother and feels all grown up holding her cocktail. Mother is quite happy to use her children as a shield to hide behind, even though she’s put a lot of preparation into getting herself ready for the photograph. Father is sitting on the opposite side looking tall and happy with his perfect pint and his designer shirt and shoes. Brother looks like he’s ready for a wake in a black shirt but his gapped grin and hidden hand could almost be mistaken for joined if you don’t look close enough. Mother in the middle is exhibiting a thin layer of bling while the light unveils her fake hair. At least the drinks match.

 

Monday 5 June 2023

How do you spot bad neighbours when buying a house?

What’s their property like? Does it need any maintenance? Is there any rubbish lying around? Do they have a vehicle that’s in good shape? Is there a fence on their side that needs maintaining? Try to inspect the property at different times like at the weekend or on an evening. If you can hear, see or smell something that wasn’t present when you were shown the property, that’s probably a bit of a giveaway. Of course, each person has their own set of circumstances that might prevent them from maintenance work. If you’re feeling brave, you could always feign a favour and knock the door to meet them. How friendly are they in assisting you with your request? Of course, all could be well until you move in. They’ve been living next to a nice quiet house for a while and they might react negatively to your presence. It might be you that’s the bad neighbour…

Sunday 4 June 2023

The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks

The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living DeadThe Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead by Max Brooks
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Handy advice is at hand in the event of an outbreak. After a brief description of how these beings are created and the scientific processes involved, the author gets down to some practical advice as well as referring to other handy volumes for long-term survival. There’s techniques for decapitation, what to seek in the form of shelter and supplies, and how to cope with the situation. Some of the practical advice becomes repetitive as the author attempts to address every situation, but at least you have the information to hand in the event of an emergency and you won’t be panicking by flicking back to previous pages, though this does insult your intelligence a bit. I did enjoy the end of the volume where the author documents encounters with zombies around the world. Though on a fairly small scale due to lack of travel and communication, Brooks supplies excellent evidence as to how these events transpired and what documents remain in the form of witness accounts and conspiracies. An interesting read, and I wonder how well the facts link up with the evidence.

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Saturday 3 June 2023

Come She Will

She’s friendly and bubbly with a lot of youth in her stride. She’s short and blonde but has a lot of experience. She talks with a sense of authority and she knows who’s right or wrong. She’s not afraid to admit her mistakes and she’ll get frustrated if righteousness doesn’t win the day. She’s very easy to chat with even if it’s the minutest thing. She talks in a clear public school voice with a slight country accent. She likes the luxury life and enjoys spa weekends and holidays abroad. She doesn’t like prosecco but isn’t impartial to a drop of wine of cider. In her spare time she likes to stay warm with flowery tops and enough material to cover her, while being agile in a pair of leggings underneath, though she’s not afraid to flash a bit of bling. She’s managed to land herself both a toyboy husband and a daughter.

Friday 2 June 2023

Beer Brothers

It’s a rare respite that two brothers can come together to share a beer. It’s a shame that it’s served in a plastic glass so that we can’t toast each other. We’re surrounded by mountains and coast and there’s a lighthouse on the horizon. We’ve got a nice view of the rough sea but it’s a bit breezy and windy despite the blue sky. I would have also preferred non fizzy beer but you can’t have everything. There’s shelter inside if we want it. It was good to just sit outside and relax. The bar wasn’t far and a waiter would often be on patrol keeping everything nice and clean. You’d also catch the attention of passersby on the boardwalk. And because we’re staying in the hotel we can get served regardless of our apparel. There’s palm trees and hedgerows and wildlife alongside the backdrop of everyone having fun. At night it’s tastefully lit up.

 

Thursday 1 June 2023

Hat Day

I’ve toyed with the idea of going down to the Great British Beer Festival this year but the videos on social media showing hordes of people being let into the beerhalls has unsurprisingly put me off. Public transport strikes together with city prices is also a major turn-off. And as it’s the last day, it’ll be the busiest too. If I had a choice of when to visit it would be Hat Day. I’d need to add a few extra pieces to my current creation to make it worthy, by adding things to represent an Aussie hat and maybe a pint centrepiece on the top. This year there were a few similar ideas in development, though the hat stand made a fair trade too. I particularly enjoyed the poor woman who managed to fit a dartboard costume around her face. The winner managed to construct a cardboard barrel on his head complete with tap. Well done George!