Yes and No

This year’s Santa seems to be a bit old, frail, and deadweight. He certainly sounds older and speaks slower and even opens with a wheezy voice. For some reason, he wants security too, and you have to take the time to set him up first. This AI only focuses on what it wants to hear rather than the whole thing. I experimented by saying it the other way around and it didn’t recognise the uncertainty and leaned towards a yes. It’s like it never wants to hear the negative. It’s as if she’s able to come up with suggestions for your solutions. There’s also no context for the sentence. I wonder if it will understand a politician when he lists certain conditions. And what about hesitation? Does it honestly believe that every participant will answer each question truthfully? These machines need to recognise trait tell-tale signs and question us to make a decision and deliver the correct data.

Hitching a Lift

We had a couple of miles to go to reach the pub. The next phase of the walk involved following a bridleway surrounded by fields to reach the next road junction. As we neared the corner, we saw on off-road vehicle approach so we stood aside to let it pass. The driver warned us that it was quite flooded ahead, but we were prepared for a bit of mud and decided to press on. As we turned the corner, we saw that the bridleway was impassable, and the only route that we could take would be to head back to the road and follow it round. Fortunately, the off-road vehicle had stopped at the road. Inside was the driver’s wife and sun. The driver offered to leave his family at the roadside to take us through the bridleway. This kind offer saved us a few miles, and I’m hoping this allowed the driver to take a few more risks on his return journey to his family. 

Happy Hour

There used to be a legendary time in pubs known as happy hour. For a whole hour, drinks used to be two for the price of one or would at least be rounded down nicely to encourage people to visit. Traditionally, it would usually be to encourage locals to pop in during the early evening on their way home from work; to catch up with others in their community and to fill the place up with a bit of atmosphere. Nowadays, it’s not something that’s advertised, or at least it’s a secret kept to the locals as these once honest businesses need to grab every penny. But who can blame them? Over the years there’s been a stream of anti-health measures to keep us away from these premises. Cheaper booze in the supermarket, the restrictions of not being able to do what you want, not to mention the mandatory closures. Will our boozers be the same ever again?

Charge to the Pub

It’s been a true expedition to get to this year’s beer festival. Rather than taking the scenic route which would be longer and usually flooded, we decided to take the more direct route through a farm. Unfortunately, this meant cutting through a herd full of bulls complete with grazing calves. We kept to the edge as much as we could despite the footpath cutting through, but they put up a harsh defence. At one point they changed their step into a full-blown gallop and even had us surrounded as if we’d been rounded up. One even looked about to charge if it wasn’t for a female which stepped in its way. I had to puff myself up and look big, and we managed to jump over a fence into the safety of the road. We walked around the corner to the bridleway which looked a bit flooded, but we had to make it across or prepare for a long diversion.

The Bed #empress 10

Thanks to the occasional holes which let in daylight, Zhong realised that day was turning into night. He began to wonder how far he’d travelled down these passageways. He noticed that the workmen became fewer and fewer, and realised that he would need to find shelter for the night. Some of the carts had stopped moving, although some people were taking shelter underneath them or upturning them to sleep behind rather than to sleep on top of them. Zhong wanted something a bit more comfortable and wondered if he could climb to the surface to find an inn. The walls looked quite convexed and he could not see any crevices to use as footholds. Beyond the next arch it grew very dark, but he did feel something soft and furry like a large natural bush. He was too tired to search for anything else so he wrapped himself up with this material and decided that he would worry about it in the morning. 

Flash

And so a time has come to pass where millions of hours have disappeared off the web, making long-loved simple animated screens outdated. There’s just too many add-ons now to install to ensure that the games work as well as they did, and I’ve got no idea whether this new software is trustworthy or not. Sites that had built up a reputation for delivering quality games for years suddenly lost a lot of visitors since these games wouldn’t work anymore. And all because the software producers decided that they couldn’t keep up with today’s modern world. It’s a shame that no-one stepped in to help them or even offer to buy them out; but then again it was a programme that people were using for free. Ultimately, some classic works were lost as the authors themselves weren’t around to upgrade their publications, although some may have been upgraded for a price. But for many, it’s the end of an old-style price-free era. 

I forgot to scan my one banana and after I realised it I came home. Do I go back? Will I get in trouble?

The internet police have already alerted the supermarket. They’re now liaising with CCTV to track all banana sales and are examining credit card transactions and loyalty cards to obtain your address. Traffic cameras are also being traced so that their revenue can be claimed back with no expense spared. Dude, stop being so paranoid and get on with your life. It’s not like you’re stealing something outright as there are other items in your basket. If you own up, it’s just going to cause more hassle and could just be wasting everyone's time; especially if the store decides to make an example of you. It'll cost them more in labour to sort out the mistake. If you’re really worried about it, buy an extra banana next time and give it to a homeless person, or at least leave it behind at the self-check-out the next time you visit. It’s karma. I’m sure there’ll be an instance (past or present) that you’ll be overcharged for something; whether it’s at a restaurant or for a special offer that didn’t get processed correctly. Mistakes happen, we're only human, it's allowed. Relax!

Timer Time

Now that the lamp is in place, we just need to control it through a switch. This took some figuring out and a practice run with a lamp before I was confident enough to attempt it with the real thing. Once I’d worked out that the switch on the side was an override switch for the circuit, and that you needed to leave the whole thing powered on for the timer to work, the next thing was to set the timer itself. It felt like setting a bomb, turning the dial until the pointer roughly points to something that I think indicates the time. Then a pen is required to push down on those tiny segments to indicate when the switch is put into action. The whole thing is wrapped in a plastic bag and is encased in a stone box, though I decided to remove the covering slab and cut a piece of wood down to size for ease of access. 

 

To me, fearless is not the absence of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. To me, Fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.

There’s a definition of what we are afraid of that changes for each person. Some might fear spiders while others will go out of their way to seek them out. Others might say that they’re not scared of anything but there’s always something that may make them turn in the other direction. To say that you’re fearless implies that you’re going to stand there with a big grin on your face in any situation. You become almost robotic. It’s just not human. It’s as if they’ve got a pre-programmed path to follow and nothing’s allowed to deviate or compromise their plan. You could also argue that they’ve got ultimate control of their lives. You’ve got to fear these people because you’ve got not idea what they want to do next and it’s going to be difficult to stop them. We might all be afraid of everything every day as we face the unknown. The trick is not to show it.

Mould Remover

Behold the future of cleaning. It now comes in a can. But what will this do in place of a good, hard scrub? What chemicals will replace hot water and soap? Is this just an easier way than elbow grease or will it yield better results? Its angelic glow certainly seems to suggest so, though I may have vamped up the colour a bit in the picture editing. I wonder what the smell will be like. Will my bathroom stink of bleach or chlorine for a while and I’ll have to air out my premises or will it be odourless providing that I keep it away from my nose? It’s also good no know that its aim has improved thanks to a lesser chance of splattering. There was me having to think that I would need to call in a professional shooter when it was the fault all along. I wonder how previous users have coped. 

 

No Time To Die

I was looking forward to an action-packed film with lots of chases and gadgets but sadly this wasn’t the case. It was a film which suited Craig’s character and concluded this franchise, but it lacked the fast pace of earlier events and you had to keep some of the previous films in mind to keep up with the story. But you have to wonder if it’s worth opening diplomatic relations with someone who’s successfully destroyed a terrorist organisation in one fell swoop rather than trusting in another organisation. The writers have also broken an unwritten rule in a tale of self-sacrifice and heroism which has arrived much too late for this individual character together with a team which had an opportunity for preservation if they chose to face the consequences rather than complete the mission in hand. The conclusion is quite swift and there’s not even a funeral (though we can imagine it as it already took place in Skyfall). Of course, they can integrate any character into OO7 (and annoyingly, they did), but there’s only one Mr. Bond. The only way forward is to re-boot the entire franchise. At least they’ll have the opportunity to start again with a younger James.  

Foggy Electrics

While my electrical friend was over, we tried to take stock to sort out what could be useful and what could be binned. We had several plugs, some of which weren’t fit to be used and had to throw away, while others had parts that we could strip and salvage for future use. We had no idea what some components did or what they worth but my friend was keen on taking these away as they’d be more useful to him rather than us so we agreed. We ended up with loads of plastic moulds, bits of copper wire, metal blocks that could be fitted inside the plastic moulds and loads of screws. But there’s still loads of components that are kept in the garage. We’ve got no idea whether they’ll be useful in the future so we’ve held onto them just in case. I suppose one day we’ll have to take the plunge and clear it all away. 

A Manic Meeting #dreamdiary 124

I’m in the pub and we’re having our usual branch meeting in a function room at the rear. It’s all going at its usual pace and we’ve paused for our mid-meeting beer break. Our host has put out a small oriental buffet to keep us happy. We’re grateful for this and attempt to resume our meeting but the host walks in Upon returning, a woman walks in dressed in a blue oriental costume complete with Kabuki makeup. She starts to wheel out small square mahogany tables, on top of each one is a bottle of whisky. She talks into a microphone about the flavours in the bottle while the tables revolve, first around themselves and then around the room. It was like she was rehearsing for a commercial in the middle of our meeting. Not sold on the idea, we decide to abandon the meeting. I head to the exit which happens to be a ten-foot drop to the ground before remembering that there was a lift at the far exit of the room. I miss the next car, but rather than waiting for it to come back up again, I decide to climb through the pub’s private quarters into the beer garden. I felt like James Bond only there wasn’t a female agent waiting for me on the sun bed. I exit the garden and see another tower in front of me where a sixty-year-old man has just run off the ledge and has completed a superhuman jump to the next block. I’m about to ascend to the top of the tower when I notice an estate car on the other side of the fence start up with some familiar outlines sitting in the back. I call for their attention and they open the boot and I dive in next to a group of kids.

Lighting up the Place

We’ve bought a lamppost for the garden! It’s just like Narnia, only it’s a lot shorter and there’s no forest or wardrobe. The idea was to be able to look out on the garden at night from the kitchen; not that it’s a big garden. The box arrives; and surprise surprise, it’s up to muggins here to put it together. I get as far as assembling the tube and the lantern before realising that I’m going to need a bit of help. It operates on an ordinary bulb which is supplied and connects to a copper wire. We do have an outside power socket, but I realise that I’m going to need help wiring this into a plug to make it work. I have an electrical friend who I invite over to strip the wire so that we can attach it to a plug to create the circuit. Then once it’s tested, I wait for my brother to become free so that he can drill holes into the stone wall so that it can be securely fixed upright. 

My Biggest Loss

Most people would focus on someone that’s passed away. Some would look at material objects such as a house, car or even a career. But to me my biggest loss are my senses. It’s so frustrating when you can’t make something of the world around you when it comes to others naturally. Sight is a difficult one. I used to get massive hayfever attacks which caused my eyelids to swell and stick together and had to be prised open. Smell and taste keep you in sync with your surroundings, though you shouldn’t be using the latter much other than to nourish yourself. And feelings, whether emotional or physical, also helps to interact with the world around you. Since birth I’ve suffered from hearing problems and still have occasions in adulthood, though most of the time it’s a case of making time to get my ears syringed. But controlling all of this is thinking. It’s hard to work out what’s happening with your environment and you need a good sense of initiative to calculate the appropriate response. Sometimes you can get away with a smile or just fain ignorance and acknowledge someone’s presence rather than calculate an action that they require you to perform. 

The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman

The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

There’s a lot of different perspectives being told here which can make it confusing to piece a plot together. There’s a diary as well as first person accounts which flick from character to character which makes it difficult to understand where each character is in relation to the plot, as well as a lot of assumptions in place which can make it difficult to understand who is being accused of what. It’s not always clear. I enjoy the seniority of the older characters and the quips that they find or feign themselves into as they attempt to deal with the modern world but the other characters are just too stereotypical. And there’s just too much mystery surrounding one of the protagonists, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they had turned out to be a suspect in their little perfect world that they’re engineering. There’s just too many deaths and past plots to focus on which make the conclusion a little confusing.

View all my reviews

Yodelling about Yodel

I have just completed a survey on Yodel asking me how well they performed and now they’re asking me to give more feedback on another website. It seems weird that you want me to do this despite having received the survey. I assume that you’ve read it. Well, no matter. You issued me with a tracking number which I used to discover that my delivery day is Friday then e-mailed me the following day to say it’s been changed to Thursday. I specify that I would like my parcel to be put in the front porch which I left unlocked solely for the purpose of receiving this delivery then came home to have the joy of fishing my parcel out of my wheelie bin. Thanks for that. As well as this, you ask me to complete a survey of my experience then conclude it my asking where I live., however I seem to recall that you delivered a parcel to me recently. Hopefully you won’t want to ask me to write a third review on another website. 

Sun and Moons

What’s the best time of day to take a photo of a new garden ornament? Hopefully, it’s when it’s in use. But in this case, the light outshines what you can actually see. The result is a miniature sun that’s descended into the garden and brings everything that’s in black into shadow. The two eyes are from a solar-powered owl but if you look at the photo as a thumbnail, you’d be forgiven for thinking it’s a dragon with more grey spouting out from behind the right to act as legs. It certainly looks as if Aslan from Narnia’s suddenly going to bring all the stone creatures to life. There might even be something hidden in the plant pot waiting to jump out. I t certainly brings a sense of mystery, and it’s no surprise that all sorts of creatures have been visiting to view our magnificent sights. And not all of them are in a rush to leave in a hurry.

 

Background Bodies

She’s a brunette and slim with a petite figure, and just about tall enough to be curvaceous from behind. She has short hair which curls at the top or is put into a ponytail when she wants to be less formal or be practical when becoming an equestrian. She has a beautiful smile but can be soft-spoken and often likes to take a background place rather than be at the forefront of the entertainment. Rather than sharing and caring her reflections and opinions, she only shares the big moments in life. When not being a family girl, she sells bits of crafts to make ends meet, but doesn’t have the entrepreneurial spirit to go it alone and must rely on friends and family to get by to make those sales. It’s a kind of pity sale. But it’s been that long since I’ve seen her that I feel that I ought to buy one out of guilt. 

Chaos in the Ranks

There were about ten sets of people in front of us waiting their turn to see the receptionist. There are rumours that people have brought the wrong documents and are being sent to the library to get internet access to edit and reprint their forms and get them photocopied. These copies are something which we don’t have. Spying a photocopier by the wall at the end of the line, I find a coin, copy our forms, and return to our place in the queue. We’ve been travelling all day to get to this appointment; there’s no way that we can afford to re-schedule another one. I later think whether these people are just starting a rouse to try and get other people out of the queue, or at least create a context that there’s only a limited number of visas available. We reach the front of the queue and show our appointment to the receptionist. She looks at our paperwork and gives us a number and invites us to sit in the lounge, where we chat to a young man who’s applying to teach English overseas. Then we’re called. There are very few questions asked, and after exchanging our passports for a receipt we’re free to leave. 

Spaced Out on Alexa's Space Deck

I wondered if this was another orbit app to tell me what’s above my head at the moment, but after reading up on it I gather that it’s more to do with personal space and relaxation than the orbital one. A bit of clicking around is required to get this skill to work, as for some reason it tries to open it through my TV again. I’m not going to leave my TV plugged in for the sake of a little round dot. The first thing I hear is a rumbling sound and I think it might be a rocket taking off before remembering that this is a calm feature designed to alleviate stress so it might be the sound of the ocean. I wonder if someone actually stood by the sea with a microphone for an hour. More reviews tell me that people do believe that they’re on a spaceship warping through the stars which is odd as there’s no sign in space. You could just as easily be on a flight passing through air. Oh well, at least you’ve got lots of leg room.

A Mad Dash Around Manchester

We were ready to head to the visa office. We’d had a cooked breakfast at a pub in Birmingham, so food wasn’t our primary concern. We’d found the office and had time for a wander before our appointment. We also met Emmeline Parkhurst in her statue form, standing on a chair in a priestly pose. Suddenly, we’d realised that we hadn’t bought any envelopes to receive our modified passports. I quickly scoured google and found a newsagent that offered a full post office service half a mile away. We quickly bought the required documents then realised that we’d lost our bearings and it took a while before we’d orientated ourselves back in the right direction. Thankfully, we’d got back to the reception five minutes before our appointment and joined the queue to be booked in. We stood half out of breath awaiting our turn to see the visa officer to give us permission to go on holiday.

 

Full Autumn Mode

It starts with the trees. The leaves turn from green to yellow to orange, as if they’ve slowly been roasting all year and they’re finally baked and burnt and fall off onto the ground to make a natural gloop in our towns and cities. For some people, it can be tough to get through them. The clocks have gone back so there’s less daylight about and you can spend your day without seeing any light at all if you commute in darkness and return through it. It’s hard to say if this man-made effect has a big impact on our lives as no-one wants to take the risk of being out of sync and discovering the alternative. You’re bombarded with spells of rain and wind and a chill breeze, and the natural instinct is to take shelter rather than to venture out to environments that you’d normally enjoy. The world seems a colder place and the only way to avoid that is to open your wallet and put the heating on.

Kids in the Wild

Excitement mounts as tiny feet are let loose into the colourful plateau beyond. Some charge off ready to explore, while others are more apprehensive about leaving their carer behind and are unsure about what lies within. Often, these need encouragement or guidance to make those exploratory steps, and some may need accompanying into the unknown. The air is full of laughter and squeals. Occasionally a few tears may be shed, either from those who are too tired to continue or those that don’t want to depart from this colourful land. Some may experience a fright or injury such as another more confident child passing them at speed or being pushed out of the way to fulfil their excitement. These too may eventually be drawn to tears, by receiving punishment if the act is witnessed by their own carer, and the conflict can occur amongst the adults if the act is witnessed between them.

 

A Room Without a View #Titannabell 10

Soon the King and Queen declared an end to the proceedings to allow their hosts to rest and prepare for the celebrations that were to follow. Titannabell was getting to a point where people couldn’t tell where the cushions ended and her rear began; in any event there were going to be some very flat cushions. The royal party were led off by a team of household servants that were respectfully followed by an armed guard. The servants opened the door to the breakfast room and stood back to allow the giant princess to say goodnight to her parents. Meanwhile, the guards were reluctant to follow the King and Queen and only followed when they heard a cough from up ahead. Inside her room, Titannabell was arranging a pile of cushions on the mattress. The room had a stone floor but there were lots of red satin blankets lining the walls and windows.

Inside the Jungle

At the centre of this maze is a colourful plastic blue wavy slide which has enough room for two youngsters to slide down together. The bottom leads into a colourful ball pit, of which parents and guardians gather round to encourage their charges to descend. The whole thing is wrapped in black rope and bright plastic soft foam poles to create a giant safety cage which is topped by a soft floor. The ground floor is shaped by punch bags which descend from ceiling to floor and there’s a section which has these running vertically as well for people to squeeze through. There’s also giant shapes to pass through before crawling up the towers to the upper levels. At the top, there’s a tower which allows you views of the barn and giant shapes to move about. It’s great exercise and little ones will love being chased through this conjecture. 

Vigil

This was a dark bit of drama that took a while to get going. It would have good to see development of the key characters throughout the series rather than feature them towards the end; for instance Damson could have been added as a welcome buddy for Silva rather than be a background character since they boarded the sub together. I felt that the land team worked well together to pursue their side of the investigation once a trust between the police and the military had been established; although you would have thought that the navy would have their own investigation team to deal with scenarios like these. You’d think that a well-run ship operating in close quarters would have a better sense of teamwork and be more welcoming towards newcomers, but perhaps frustrations were high because of being on patrol for too long. But it all made for an interesting piece of drama which came together well at the end, even though it was a bit predictable once the killer had been identified. 

The Play Barn

Garden centres will do anything to get that extra footfall nowadays. So much so that they’ve actually created a clientele that’ll quite happily walk through the whole building to get to the feature that they require. But the owners will happy if someone will part with their cash somewhere on the premises. In this case, an old barn has been converted into a soft play area. There’s even a café a coffee shop which has been separated into both adult and child sections to focus on the play area. Adults sit on low tables mounted on painted red mushrooms with white spots while their child runs amok in the play area opposite. A button operated safety gate stops the child from disappearing into the outside world. You can spend a day here having any meal you want so long as the barn’s willing to stay open. There’s even a separate small area for smaller children. 

Time Waves #dreamdiary 123

We’ve been out for a late afternoon swim at a leisure centre. We’ve had to get a bus to get here and we looked up the bus to get back before getting into the pool. The wave machine’s just been turned up and we’ve swam away from our other friends into the deep end to enjoy ourselves. As the waves die down, we realise that we haven’t seen them in a while. It suddenly dawns on us that we have no sense of time and we swim over to the wall to discover that we’ve missed our bus home. We start to wonder why our friends didn’t come over to find us unless they assumed that we’d already gone to get changed. Back at the bus station, we discover no other way to get home that day and that it’s actually cheaper to stay in a budget hotel rather than pay someone to drive out to collect us, so we check in.

Is e for Easy?

There’s a new trend emerging from these codes. Rather than giving them as a gift, we can buy them ourselves to save a bit of money, usually a few percent. We might be saving on paper but are we helping the environment by asking people to constantly keep their smartphones powered up? The annoying thing is the barcode. People come up to the till feeling all technologically empowered as they’ve arranged it all on their phone beforehand and they haven’t got to hunt around in their abyss of a bag to find that card or scrap of paper. Then, rather than waving their phone across a scanning device, you destroy that confidence by having to read out the number and key it into another screen. The entire process is very time consuming and if one character is entered incorrectly, you must repeat the process all over again. It might seem simple for the customer, but for the cashier it can cause a whole heap of problems. 

My Neighbour keeps on watching me through their window. Every time I look at her, she hides behind the curtains. Maybe she's just nosey, I don't know. Would it bother you if it happened to you and what would you do?

I often get the feeling of being watched when I come home. Often I think it’s a bored or nosey neighbour but usually it turns out to be next door’s cat confined to quarters for the evening. When I leave the house, I naturally I want to know what’s going on and I want to be sure that I’m leaving my home safe and sound. I wouldn’t just walk away if I can spot people hanging around who want to break down my door as soon as I’m out of sight. So it’s good to know that my neighbours are nearby so that if the unfortunate does occur, at least I’m vaguely aware of who’s at home at the time so that they may have heard or seen something suspicious. You never know, they may even take action themselves. And I like to think that I do the same for other people. I’m not going to sit and monitor the world from my window, but I would keep an eye out if I saw or heard anything unfamiliar. If you get to know your neighbours, you can build up a sense of trust. Just give them a smile and friendly wave, and you can be on your merry.