Down Boy

He’s a scrawny small man with thin, round glasses and long hair that’s styled into a tuff. He enjoys the outdoor life and is always dressed for the weather. He previously stayed in a run-down house but now has a partner so that may not be the current case. He enjoys real things rather than products that are massed produced and will choose home-grown over convenience every time to help reduce his carbon footprint. He has some respect for people but he also has an ego and can often throw his toys out of the pram if he doesn’t get his way. I wonder if he was like that during childhood and if he always had the courage to do this. He’s always after knowledge to pass onto others, and loves acting mischievous in front of children; especially when he gets to put on a show; even if it involves dressing up as a giant apple and toppling over as he’s chased around the village green.    

Staffing the Shop

So what do I look for when recruiting shop volunteers? Ironically, it can be one of the easiest roles of the festival so long as you know what you’re selling; what you are doing and have some basic common knowledge math sense. Apart from that it’s quite easy and you can make fair progress on a book in quiet times, maybe even one that you’re selling so long as you don’t mind the odd interruption to answer a query. Just sit at the counter and everything you need is in easy reach. To encourage people to visit, we do exchange cash into beer tokens to encourage people to look at what we’re selling while they wait. Occasionally you may have to function as a point of knowledge as people approach for advice on various topics, but some might just want to stop and chat in passing. But as long as you know your stuff, you’ll be fine.

Black History Month

It’s that time of the month where we learn about oppression two centuries ago and how people today are still working to overcome it because of prejudice. It makes you think what would happen if we hadn’t advanced industrialisation through globalisation, and it might have made a real difference to how we operate our society today. There would be so much more skilled trade available as we wouldn’t rely on cheaper imports all the time. The only downside is that things would be a bit bland and there wouldn’t be enough choice, and a lot has changed to make that happen. But what’s really annoying is the focus for the rest of the year. What about industrial heritage, or cultural history? Where’s the focus on these subjects and why don’t they get attention? It’s fine to focus on a group that’s been neglected so much but there’s so many positives to history as well so that people can learn just how far they’ve advanced, and also what we’ve lost. 

When orders go Wrong

The books arrived from HQ alongside the festival equipment that we’d ordered. There was a bit of excitement as there were quite a few boxes to open and check off. Because some of the less popular titles wouldn’t sell so much, they sent them in a box mixed with others rather than sending whole complete boxes. But we still had way too much stock than what we’d ordered. At one point we had more books than beer. I was very much tempted to keep what we’d got and sneak in some extra sales for ourselves but the t-shirts that I’d ordered hadn’t arrived and these would also be chargeable to us. After taking an inventory, I discovered that the warehouse had picked our book order twice and they hadn’t had any records of sending out the t-shirts to us. I then had to declare to them what we had received so that they could adjust their stock accordingly.

 

Loki

This series felt a bit drab. I liked the interchanging font in the series logo portraying mischief, but other than that Loki doesn’t really get to be that mischievous which leaves the show to be a bit dark and dull. I was very disappointed with the futuristic time agency and I’d expect something better than a run-down library containing files from the seventies and computers that wouldn’t look out of place at a shuttle launch. It even stars Owen Wilson as a senior cowboy-styled detective. The whole series just felt dragged out with lots of awkward pauses. I was hoping for more moments where Loki could travel through time and wreak havoc with his powers while the time agency followed his wake. There were a few random chuckles such as the military-style hunters arriving at a renaissance fair in 1985 and an alligator claiming to be a Loki but the characters lacked the energy that we’ve seen in the other Marvel spin-offs. Hopefully the next season will be a bit faster.

Death of a Gentle Lady by M. C. Beaton

Death of a Gentle Lady by M.C. Beaton
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

It’s a bit difficult to like a protagonist when they decide to go rogue for their own interests rather than for the greater good. But it seems to be a done thing in the Highlands where everyone’s partial to a drop of hospitality and doesn’t want to face change themselves, but are happy to help others. Still, could it be that every murder is linked to the newest resident of Lochdubh? It seems to be that way which gives Macbeth an easy job of defending the long-term locals. All he’s got to do is get the evidence, and sometimes most of the time it’s achieved by foul means rather than fair. It’s lucky that he can trust his fellow residents to back him up and it’s good to see that modern-day technology has finally reached the Highlands. And you can always rely on Beaton’s regular cast of characters to provide a few laughs.

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Death of a Tweet

I originally wanted to check out a canal picture which I’m told was beautiful in the Autumn. It was odd that it wasn’t displayed in the e-mail. After trying to find the tweet in my feed in my app, I discovered that it was deleted, so I decided to check out the app that they were trying to sell instead. It turned out to be a collective of independent businesses selling their wares and offering discounts provided that you subscribed to the app. I looked at the bar ones which mainly offered discounts off the bill on certain days. I suppose it’s handy enough if you live in the area or frequent these premises often and could be a moneysaver, but for a casual visitor it’s not worth it unless you’re specifically heading to these venues and there’s a saving to be made. If there’s any events on, I’m sure the app’s Twitter feed will tell me. But I wonder why the tweet got dropped. Maybe a copyright infringement was involved. It’s a shame, I bet it was a nice gesture originally.

Stocking the Shop

Once the counter is in place, the next thing that I need is some stock to sell. We’ve got a few bits of memorabilia that people like to rummage through. We’ve got leftover glasses from old festivals that people like to collect, and shirts from previous years that people have donated as well. We also have a large box of old pump clips advertising beers from earlier festivals that people like to rummage through as well. Some of these are worth a bit of money, especially the metallic ones and I picked one up for peanuts at a previous beer festival. But we also ned to be contemporary to get younger customers to part with their cash so we order a selection of items from the CAMRA bookshop. We order a few of the latest titles, alongside t-shirts, keyrings and bottle openers. Finally, our biggest and cheapest seller is a humble pen. People like to tick off the beers in the programme that they’ve tried and always forget to bring one. We used to buy these branded but we got some of our own professionally printed to increase our revenue on them. 

 

Guard Dogs #Titannabell 9

As the party progressed late into the night, the revellers grew less and less. Some had chores to address the following day. But the squire’s guards, at least those that were off duty, took the time to keep the party going as long as they could; much to the jealously of those who still had to keep watch. Occasionally, they’d be able to swipe a bottle of mead or a jug of ale from a departed table that hadn’t been cleared yet.

‘This ale’s disgusting.’ said one guard to his friend, an arm hidden behind his back. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d coughed their guts out before they left.’ He threw the contents into a shrub pot, then shrugged and dropped the jug there too.

‘Never mind that, who’s on door duty tonight? They’ve put the giantess in the breakfast room. Just imagine her sans clothes.’ They gazed up at the giantess’s chest, which had two large wine barrels of its own.  

Shirts for Sale

 And this is my little shop. It takes a while to set up and top get everything nice and neat ready for the festival opening. First, the counter has to be rested in its place. It’s a giant bulky counter that we bought off a department store that went into liquidation. People have talked about attaching wheels to it to make it easier to transport but they never have. It’s usually one of the first things that get loaded onto the trailer, then everything else is built up around it. I usually have to try and look busy when it’s time to lift it so I can try and get out of it. There’s a sheet of glass in place so that things can be put on show without too much fear of them wandering off, and there’s also a light inside. It’s even got drawers which we have to take out when lifting and put back in when it reaches its resting place.

"If you want something you've never had, you must be willing to do something you've never done."

 -Thomas Jefferson.

Obtaining things is a process, so this advice can be very specific. In a material world, to try something that you’ve never had before is to physically take it off the shelf or take an appropriate action to obtain it. Of course, if you want to win a game of chance and use the exact same strategy every time, it defies a new action as the result has come to you without effort. There’s also a process called ‘accumulation of wealth’, or savings in modern-day terms.  Most of the time when you want something, it’s all down to a very similar process. But when you can’t identify what the process is, you have to take the time to come up with another strategy. You need to compare the similarities and work through the differences. And this time you might succeed. It’s all about finding the method that works best for you.

The List

 I get given a weekly list of groceries to obtain for the house. We try and keep track of when we’re running low on things and stock up accordingly. On the evening before there’s usually a last-ditch attempt to check anything that we might have missed and we also look at what we’re up to in the forthcoming week and try to plan our meals accordingly, although a lot of the time it’s down to the dates of the produce that I buy. Then comes the great day of the shop itself. I cross-examine the list before I set off to try and eliminate any queries. I always try and get the longest dates possible to give us a greater flexibility of choice, but sometimes you’ve just got to go with what’s there. Sometimes there’s things off the list that I know we need, and sometimes it’s soon to make another purchase of a particular item. We usually work it out when we’re back at home and re-stock and freeze accordingly.

Victoria Beckham's fans slam her Instagram post of model's boobs as 'obscene'.

It’s a bit of an overreaction. It’s just one picture. Do we care how other people react? Will that force your opinion of how to react? We don’t even get to see the photo to make our own mind up. And what does this mean for Posh Spice? Does she only like women now? Maybe it’s a mistake. Maybe she meant to send it to a friend rather than the rest of the world. It’s the sort of thing that you’d expect to see in a trashy woman’s afternoon talk show or a TV movie where the original offended person turns into a serial killer to get revenge. It’s certainly something to talk about when you’re bored. And I did have to look up what a sheer shirt was. But do people really want to know this stuff? And I’m the fifth person down the chain to know about it. Why did it take so long?

Preparing for Lift-Off

Many people don’t think how things happen, but it’s a real test of logistics to run an event. Anything and everything can go wrong, from building the venue to setting up everything inside it and having access to everything you need to open the doors. Then you’ve got to hope that everything arrives; from the materials you’ve ordered weeks ago to the teams that put the equipment together to make it an event to remember. There’s quite a few people to trust and rely on to make things happen. In a way, it makes us look like a travelling circus as we’re one big family that knows each other. In the end we’ll all get along fine so long as everyone does their fair share of the work and we’re all kept happy, mainly through the people that we’ve volunteered to serve. It could be the weather, or the right people who bring the right atmosphere with them. But we need anyone and everyone to make the whole thing sustainable. 

Hotel of Hatred #dreamdiary 120

I’m staying at a hotel! I can’t quite predict how to get there but I know where to turn when I see the local landmarks. It’s a stone building hidden on a corner behind another street corner. The ground floor has a series of barber poles in its glass restaurant but I know it’s a restaurant. I go through a door at the rear and climb a spiral staircase in a stone tower. I walk down a corridor alongside a window and enter my room. It’s a bit stuffy and warm so I decide to open the window. A man in a vest with scruffy hair and moustache is sitting in a lower room at the opposite side of the courtyard scowls at me a if he wants to get into a fight. Suddenly the floor gives and I fall through the hole and manage to grab onto the windowsill of the floor below. I look through this window for help but no-one is looking. 

Space Beer

As it was the fiftieth year commemorating the first man on the moon, we decided to make a theme out of for this year’s beer festival. It was me that put the theme forward and it was a factoid that I’d overheard on TV. While this put forward all sorts of ideas for our logo and branding, there wasn’t much that we could do in terms of dressing up the site. I suppose that if we had more time and a bigger budget then we could have made papier-mâché planets to hang from the beams of the marquee. Dressing up was also difficult. A few people managed to sort out some feelers or an inflatable companion to take with them. One person even managed an astronaut costume. But for the most part some wore clothing commemorating their visit to the Kennedy Space Center or similar NASA attire. On the plus side, we did invite the local astronomy club to take up a stall to promote themselves and provide a telescope for stargazing. Maybe next year we can be more creative. 

My Earliest Memory

It must have been Halloween. I’d got out of bed late at night and must have headed to the bathroom. I was wearing some kind of two-piece pyjamas. They might have even consisted of a horrible two-piece brown and white design with a buttoned down shirt. As I left the bathroom, there was a series of loud rattles coming from downstairs. Our porch wasn’t enclosed in those days so the letterbox fed straight into the house. The metallic flap started rattling and a voice called out ‘Trick or treat’ followed by a series of spooky laughs. All I remember in response is running straight back to bed and jump under the covers. I don’t remember anyone coming to comfort me. I suppose this is always why I’ve been reluctant to get out of bed at night. It could have been some kids canvassing for treats. It could have been my own father doing the spooky voice. The whole thing could have been a dream. It’s concerning that it’ a memory out of fear and not out of love. Maybe my happy memories are few and far between. 

Plotting Penguins

‘Attention penguins. Yes, you lot! Listen! I have a plan! Look, I know I’m a bit young to be doing this sort of thing, but I can’t see that any of you have tried an escape plan before either. Look at me, don’t look at the others, look at me. You may be used to settling here and getting food thrown at you at regular intervals but I’d like to think that there’s a bigger world outside of these walls. And if you want to, you can still stay here and get fat and bored! Nobody says you have to come with me! But all we have to do is push those rocks together and we can jump out of this pit. I’ll even make sure that I can find a way for us all to get back inside if anyone changes their mind. And it’s not dangerous! All the humans will do is look at us, and we already know what that’s like as we can a few in to visit us every day! So, who’s in?’

 

Soothing Purple

Travel insurance is one of those things that you don’t really need but it’s good to have. If you have a stress-free, the company’s laughing as they’ve made some cash out of you. But if things go wrong, that small fee that you’ve paid upfront can be very valuable indeed. I like to think of it as help that I’ve paid for advance, but then it’s a case of figuring out whether they’re obliged to help you, whether it should be someone else’s responsibility, or whether it’s your fault for not having a policy to cover that eventuality. After digesting the usual terms and conditions we decided to just go for the cheapest option which was to cover medical conditions, and that we’d deal with anything else ourselves should the situation arise. Hopefully we’ll be able to put our faith into our fellow man and find someone who at least could give us some advice on what best to do.   

The Great Escape

I wonder how many animals escape from the park? A river runs through it and it won’t take much for birds to get out of there. Maybe they’re accustomed to calling in for the food which saves them from having to hunt. The penguins are fairly secure though. There’s no way out for them unless someone leaves the door of the enclosure unlocked. It makes for a boring life apart from when the fish is thrown in. Even then, they’d prefer to hunt their own food in their own time rather than adapt to a schedule. Give them a prop and they’ll make their own way out without question. Until then, they just smile and wave in the hope that escape will come to them. Still, you can’t take your eye off them as you never know when they might attempt that cliff or get together to get themselves over the wall. 

Agent Carter

It’s a shame that this show was cancelled before its time. It’s got an enjoyable fast pace with plenty of humour for its interactions between its characters and it’s set within an interesting time period. It’s also historically accurate with that time period’s attitude towards women, and the conflict between Carter’s activities and those of the SSR makes for a particularly interesting twist; although this does get harder to follow towards the end of the second season. I really enjoyed the musical ensemble towards the end of the second season and it would have been interesting to have seen more of these from different characters; although portraying Carter’s many love interests does put a bit of a damper on her otherwise righteous character, and these should have been spread out over a longer series, or at least put up against each other. I would have liked to have seen a bit of the SSR’s evolution into SHIELD and some interlinking stories such as Carter’s investigation into Reinhardt, her relationship with the Howling Commandos, or even a tie-in to Sousa’s death in the concluding season of Agents of Shield. Oh well, maybe Disney will see sense.   

Jurassic Woods

I was hoping to get a bit of excitement from the kids at this exhibit. Dinosaurs in the woods! They might even had got scared and ran away, but  think they were probably just a bit tired and decided to go on this walk to humour me. They’d probably be more impressed if they moved, though they did enjoy watching the real wildlife that we came across on the trail. We followed a sheltered trail which meandered through the woods, and at every clearing or say we’d bump into a giant plastic dinosaur. Occasionally there’d by a sign displaying facts, and sometimes there’d be a handle that you could turn to generate sound effects. There were also bird hides to give the impression that you were watching live animals! It was great to see the figures enacting a story rather than standing stationary for a photograph. And I did like the entrance. It gave a feel of entering Jurassic Park.

Who the F**k is Alice?

She’s not your stereotypical blonde. She thinks before she speaks but when she does she’s sure of it. She’s got a very smug attitude. There’s not much that she doesn’t know and she’s not afraid to ask questions to find things out. She’s got the public school accent as well. She gives the impression of a goth girl that’s grown up. She has a simple parting in her hair which allows her to have it down covering her face or put up into a ponytail as she sees fit. She’s naturally round without being slim or obese. She can be a right tomboy if she wants to blend in with anybody, and she’s fearless enough not to let anyone put themselves above her. She works when she has to but she makes sure that she’s the first to back out and the last to exert herself. At least I’m not living next door to her. 

Death of a Bore by M. C. Beaton

Death of a Bore by M.C. Beaton
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

If you’re looking for a book about life in the community, this is it! Macbeth certainly knows everyone in the Highlands whether they’re growing up or just passing through, and certainly isn’t afraid of preserving the ways from all that intrude into his territory. But he’s not all a doom and gloom man, even if he’s not one of action. He likes to observe rather than participate, but he always likes to seek out companionship, whether it’s a neighbour, animal, or a wee dram. And there’s always some crime that needs examining in every chapter, and even if it’s not worth arresting the culprit for, Beaton still makes an enjoyable dialogue of conflict out of it. And out of this come some very interesting characters that you can just picture going about their day-to-day lives in the village. It’s nice to see how this close-knit community comes together to help their local bobby; whether it’s helping him solve the crimes, cleaning his quarters, or even finding him a wife. It all makes for a very enjoyable read.

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A Tweet too Far

I’m all for promoting events but a bit of common sense is required as to when an event is public and when it’s private. Why would you publicise another organisation’s annual general meeting to people who aren’t eligible to attend? It’s going to be very awkward to try and get any business conducted without any enquiries otherwise. The last thing you want is a bunch of strangers turning up to a gathering of a few club friends asking questions to what would normally be self-explanatory, and having to explain every single activity. It would certainly ruin the flow of the evening, and both parties would certainly feel the awkwardness. I’m not sure that any gate crashers would want to show up anyway. It’s a shame that that the retweeters didn’t read properly what they were re-tweeting. They’d be better off focusing on their own events rather than those of other organisations. It’s a perfect example of how not to use social media.

Shoulder View

What’s the best way to carry a toddler? It usually depends on the size and the mood that they’re in. If they want speed, they prefer the piggyback but if they don’t hold on properly then they’ll end up wrapping their arms around your neck. If they’re curious, then they want to explore and be as high up on your shoulders as possible to see the world. In this case, they can sit on your shoulders with their legs dangling down your arms while you grab onto their knees. But you’ve got to be able to lift them up that high to get there in the first place, and a tiny bit higher to get them to come down. If you can find somewhere for them to stand to raise their height then it’s easy for them to climb on but you need them to be confident to climb off afterwards or be able to lift them up and over. Sometimes it’s a question of balance.

 

Inspire Me

It didn’t take long. I was hoping to be whisked off to a world of wonder. Maybe it was going to ask me some questions or play some improvisational music. Instead, I’m told that it can’t find that skill and I’ve got to find it on the app instead. It’s a good job my hands are free. After a few taps, I’m required to complete the set-up process by verifying my e-mail address. I’ve still got no idea what this skill will do or whether it’ll be worth it. Nothing comes to my e-mail address so I press the big launch button in the app. A smaller button below appears displaying my echo dot. It’s the only Amazon device that’s active at the moment. Finally, something happens. I get a narrative from J.K Rowling telling me about the benefits of failure. I’m then asked if I want to give them some money for providing this content. These skills seem to take a lot of effort to set up. Surely they should built solely by Amazon to guarantee their success?

Bird is the Word

These are Caribbean flamingos. You can tell because they’re a brighter shade of pink. Perhaps it’s because of the sun, or more likely that their ancestors grew up in the sun. Apparently colour is also important for mating. I suppose that the brighter you are, the hornier you are and it makes you stand out, but it isn’t great for camouflaging yourself in the wild. This must be a rare moment because they’re actually on two legs. Maybe the party’s just getting started and they’re waiting for the DJ to put the music on. Or maybe they’re on patrol marching through the pond looking for food. They’re also situated in front of the park’s café. I wonder what they taste like? Per haps a gamey sort of chicken with a jerk flavour. Shrimp is one of their favourite foods, so it may even be possible to have stuffed flamingo? I suppose you’d kill it before the filling was digested though.   

In Anticipation of Something Bigger #empress8

People were dashing about everywhere in a sense of panic. Zhong pulled one aside who looked at him with a vague sense of recognition.   

‘It’s you, it’s you, you’re’ finally here!’ he said. Then he turned and ran down a staircase. Moments later, the rumblings got more severe for a moment, then stopped completely. A number of other guards dashed out carrying large beams of timber, presumably to reinforce the building.

‘Where is the empress?’ he asked a passing guard.

‘Oh, she’s gone on vacation. She said you can use her old throne room while you wait.’

‘Her old throne room?’

‘Yes, it needs to be extended a bit. When you’re ready, just follow the cave and it will take you back to your homeland; though you may want to watch out for…oncoming traffic.’

‘Won’t it be a bit noisy with all the alterations?’

‘Well, yes. You’d probably be better off sheltering in the cave.’

Swans or Flamingos?

After lunch, we headed back out to see the rest of the park. There were some very well-attended gardens and lakes with some excellent views of some flamingos. At one point, we thought they were one-legged swans as a few of them were white, but we chalked it up to the flock being very young. It didn’t take long before we’d inspected all the cages, but we decided to stick around for the penguin feeding. We met the keeper of the day whose assistant threw out the first fish which instantly persuaded the penguins to take a dip into the water. My eldest niece was fascinated, but my youngest niece got a bit bored. It might have been because she was soaked through owing to not wearing any trousers. We drifted back to the flamingos, but I think she was more interested in being carried around on my shoulders. We spent the last part of our visit in the Jurassic reserve.