I’m on a narrowboat with two friends. It’s made of Duplo but it’s a sturdy craft that floats. None of the pieces are loose and there’s no sign of any leaks. We reach a lock and there’s a tall tower at the top. Two of us head up the steps alongside the tower to reach the lockkeeper’s cottage. It’s all locked up and we’ve got a horrible feeling that this particular lockkeeper has an attitude problem. We’ve walked past in years gone by and we’ve seen previous sailors storming out from a tirade of abuse as he refuses to open the lock for them. We’ve knocked the door and there’s no answer. Just as we’re about to turn away and head back to the boat, we hear a jangle of keys followed by a bolt being removed. Then the door opens to reveal a black man with dreadlocks spouting out of the top of his head and a knitted rainbow sweater. ‘Come on in lads’ he says with a wide grin on his face. It must be our lucky day. We venture inside and climb into a plastic sled. Then we head down a steep chute rather like a log flume only there’s no water. There are a couple of large holes but our sled slides over them smoothly. Just before we hit the water into the canal, the sled slides to a comfortable stop. Our third friend brings our narrowboat over then the lockkeeper throws down some straps from a platform outside the cottage. We attach these to our narrowboat and we’re suddenly skybound as he hauls us up out of the water and to the top of the hill; much to the amusement of passers-by.
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