We All Live in A Yellow Submarine

This was a fun model to put together; though it was quite confusing which part of the model I was building at the time as there’s so many curves involved. The complicated part came when it was time to assemble the mini figures. Ringo was the obvious one that stood out as he was holding a tambourine. I’m not sure why John was holding a telescope and Paul was holding a sign reading Love. And I have absolutely no idea what George is holding. Maybe it’s an engine part. Perhaps the answer is in the film. I didn’t buy it in the shop though. I cheated and bought it on eBay for a cheaper £10. A corner of the box was slightly creased but it was still fun to build. And it’s certainly a model to play with as the top lifts up to reveal controls inside; though I doubt any people actually do owing to their age.

Nothing Special about Sbarro

When you’re in a city, it’s hard to find an independent restaurant which serves a good breakfast at a reasonable price. After wandering around Washington DC’s Union Station (including the food court), we decide that Sbarro has the best option which is closest to a traditional breakfast. The price isn’t bad but you get the unfriendly service to go with it. Neither the server or the chef looks happy. We get the choice of sausage links or bacon in our foil plate of hash brown onion fritter alongside an unsweetened roll which they name a biscuit. We’re then invited to seat on plastic seats which have stood the test of time in this rundown restaurant. There’s a mural which tries to capture the excitement of the early trains but it conflicts wildly with the red and yellow seating scheme. While we were eating the buffet was being prepared for lunch, and passers-by could have just helped themselves as it was that close and open to the concourse.

Inbound to the Scousers

It’s quite a nice journey up to Liverpool. The train is quiet and is on time. As we get closer there’s lots of notices about station closures for refurbishment the following month, but it doesn’t affect us. On arrival we instantly walk into a bronzed Ken Dodd complete with tickly bronzed feather duster. We then merge onto the city streets and soon find ourselves in a busy shopping district. It’s a nice day so we decide to walk to our hotel and take in some sights rather than spend money on a taxi or another train or work out how the buses work. We stop off at a Liverpudlian equivalent of a Greggs and grab a bite to eat. Everything is a pound; though we hold up the queue trying to work out what they’ve actually got. One we parked and dined outside, we worked out that it would take us half an hour to finish our walk to the hotel, which should take us just into our check-in time window.

The Heart of the Matter #dreamdiary 54

I’m having a heart attack! I’ve got this large adrenaline needle to give me a boast to keep me going, but no-one wants to give it to me in case they administer it incorrectly; including myself. Fortunately, the university that I’m in does have its own medical wing; so I set off in search of help. It’s a very futuristic place and the walls are all painted yellow and cream and have huge ten-foot corridors. There’s a safety rail that I use to pull myself along towards the hospital wing while others zoom along in hoverbeds in a specially built track on the other side of the corridor. I spot a phone and call the paramedics but they refuse to come until the needle is administered. I ask passers-by for help but they run away in fear. Finally, I reach the medical wing but all I see is a ward full of beds and I cannot find anywhere to assist.

Kids Gone Wild

It’s every parent’s dream; a dumping ground in a pub for children. There’s things for them to do; there’s other kids with them; they’re in an enclosed room so they can’t wander off and they can wander back to them whenever they want something. But who’s watching the kids? No-one. So they’re just climbing up and walking on top of the video game machines that they’re supposed to be sitting at. There’s fights as they pull each other off of the stools as they all want to colour the whole screen in themselves. There’s a battle on the ride-on machines over who’s got the money and how many kids can sit on it, leaving the poor person who’s actually paid in tears. There’s sticky carpets and empty pop bottles everywhere. It’s a shame that they didn’t create an outdoor area; but it’s a sign of the times; they want us to be glued to the screens.

Lost and Found

Deep below the surface of the city is an office so unorganised, its function has been forgotten. Its warehouse is full of junk. Its occupants are tasked with sorting it and returning the items to their rightful owners. But there’s just too much to do. The occupants have stood the test of time, but they’ve just given up. No-one has come down to see them for ages. They’re just collecting and selling people’s stuff and dealing with complaints several days later after the items are sold. Until one day, they get a visitor from the surface. A visitor who tells them the surface too has forgotten their existence and have continued unabated. Now, after some organisation; they’re back on their game and are recruiting a new team to reunite as much junk as possible with their owners. Some are delighted; some are frustrated as their lost possessions have now been replaced; and some are indifferent to their services.

Greene King London Glory at Hillfield Farm, Solihull

This is a large estate pub which is oddly situated behind an industrial estate. Its main function is a carvery pub for families; though it does have a few choice interesting ales which are well kept. A welcoming seating area is on the left which is followed by a large bar which stretches out towards a food counter serving a large range of desserts. At the end is the carvery counter itself; and opposite this are some smaller booths for private dining. The pub then backs onto a large open dining room with plenty of seating for larger groups and has an indoor play area for children at the end. There’s an a la carte menu for those who fancy something different and all the meals are reasonably priced and have large portions. It has a very traditional décor but can be quite busy and is best avoided at peak times.  

A Wandering Mind

"Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve." -Napoleon Hill

There’s a solution to everything. You just have to find the right one in time. If you think that you can spend one night physically writing the entire works of Shakespeare in one go then you can so long as you’ve acquired a great sense of speed-typing beforehand. Otherwise you may have to put some training in before the night in question or develop a plan for others to assist you; or perhaps even employ them. There are, of course, some practicalities of what you can and cannot do in one life. It’s all about limits and reality. And if you’re short on time then you may have to occupy yourself with other tasks while you wait for the time machine to be invented; unless, of course, you’re directly responsible for building the time machine. If you can imagine it then it can be done. But reality is harder hitting.

Booth Etiquette

The traditional booth. It’s a sought-after spot as you can have your own private conversation separate from everyone else with only the wait staff to lean over into your area to make your enquiry at which point you can halt your conversation and spot the extra listener who has come to join the party. You can plot and scheme as much as you like while the rest of the pub looks on in envy wondering about the private conversation you’re having and whether it involves them. You can sup pints and summon more to you, providing you’ve got someone to go and get them. If you can fill a booth with four people, you’re in for a good time. Any less and you’re illustrating who is the spare wheel of your group; and if it’s just yourself or just one other then you’re being too selfish and should move to another part of the bar immediately.

Thai Chilli

We were interested in trying some Asian cuisine. We took the Metro into the city centre; found a giant friendship arch with a lot of sports bars and some traditional restaurants with equally traditional dodgy menus. One offered stir-fried frog. But after wandering through a backstreet we somehow ended up in a shopping centre with a Thai restaurant hidden in a corner next to a flight of stairs. It was quite quiet inside, but we were running out of options as most places seemed to stop serving after 9pm. So in we went. It was a bit dark inside but the waiter was very friendly and was happy to chat. He helped us out right away with iced water to cool us off. I opted for the Chicken Pad Thai which was very flavoursome while Mum went for a traditional Thai curry but couldn’t remember which colour to go for. We also had a mystery vegetable which turned out to be an eggplant; or aubergine as we call them in the UK. The service was excellent and I’d go there again if I could.

Nelson Mutineer's Revenge at the Rising Sun, Redditch

I’d love to set sail on a traditional sailing ship. Not a modern luxury streamlined one with an engine in case of a lack of wind; but a proper galleon one with two masts; lots of netting to climb up to the crow’s rest, and ropes to swing up and down on to get about the deck. There’d be a captain with a traditional wheel and we’d rely solely on map and compass to get us through the day. Below decks we’d sleep in hammocks and swap bottles of ale and sea shanties in the mess room. I think it would be great just to sail for the experience and get given a different job each day. It would be great fun if people got together to sail to a destination in these types of ships. Or better yet, build one yourself to your own liking and be your own captain…

On the Trains #dreamdiary53

Pub Scrabble

I don’t mind a good game of Scrabble on my birthday; or even playing it in the pub. But when you have to abandon your game to move onto the next pint, you know that something’s wrong. I took a photo of the board and the letters that I had remaining; but I’ve got no idea what the other players had for their letters or even how many they were. I’ve got no idea what’s on the right side of the board either. It’s probably just as well as one of my opponents knew all the cheeky small two letter high scoring words that I’d never have a chance to remember after a few beers. And my letters are terrible. I’ve only got what’s on the board to work with and make it into a three-letter word at best. But still, if we can’t finish the game and I’m the only one with the evidence, and it’s my birthday, then surely I win by default?

Why the Upskirting Law is a waste of Time

Do we really need a law to stop people from shoving a camera up skirts? We know it’s wrong and that it’s immoral and a direct invasion of their privacy. But if we need a law against it; then it just goes to show how antiqued our laws are and how we police them. Surely this would fall under a definition of intentional harassment as it causes alarm and distress under the Public Order Act of 1986? Furthermore, the objections to the current proposals have been overblown by the media as the MP claims that the government pushed the law through during a time that reserved for backbenchers to speak. The fact that he chose to object this particular law has the potential to brand the MP as a pervert as it was done in the wrong context. But if we do need a special law for upskirting then I think that our laws need a complete overhaul and that we’ve relied on people being moral and decent for far too long.

On the Pull

The crazy cat lady has had her time taken up with cats. When she’s not chasing them or posting about them, she’s looking after them for other people. And in this case, this cat was going absolutely wild for me. I’d only popped round for a birthday drink before heading out for a few drinks. I’d been playing with a small dog earlier and you’d think that that would put it off. But all this creature wanted to do was to curl up in my lap and purr. There’d be the odd distraction or five-minute lapse, but its priority was simply to lick my elbow. Even the catnip couldn’t get it away. So, there I was in my friend’s sister’s house with a great big ball of fur on top, a giant framed edition of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone mounted on the wall in the smallest print to read; and a glass of cider to sip.

Fatties are destroying the Environment

It’s been argued that around three quarters of Earth’s land mass has been designated for human use. Of this land; over half of it is used for farming agriculture; mainly for meat. It’s been said that this much occupancy of land is more damaging to the ozone layer than plastics. An ideal solution would be to unite our farmland so that it’s distributed more dependently so that waste management would be better distributed. But in order to achieve that we must move a few territories; and some aren’t just ready to budge just yet; especially those who scream meat is murder! So the short-term solution is for us all to become skinny vegetarians and cut down on our meat consumption. Perhaps once our bodies have grown to our necessary potential, we are required to cut down on our consumption and consume only what is necessary to sustain ourselves. In short, we should outlaw the fatties.  

A bit off the Top

It’s bank holiday and there’s a beer festival in the next village for me to get to. I walk down every year and there’s always someone there that I know. But this year I’ve been tasked with gardening before I’m allowed to head off. So I don my shorts and shears and climb up to cut the hedge overhanging our garden. I’m armed with nothing but a stool and a foot ladder. I do the outside first and chuck as much rubbish as I can over the fence so that I’ve got less rubbish to carry back round with me. The neighbours are impressed that I’m making an effort and that they’re getting enough light and less troublesome branches in front of their homes. As I sweep up the branches on the pavement, one of them lets me throw the branches in a skip that he keeps in front of his garage.

The Dr. Buttons Double Cornetto and Grated Cheese Tour

Dear Friends,

We’d like to invite you to join us on Dr. Buttons’ Double Cornetto and Grated Cheese Tour. It takes place in September where we’ll be embarking on a rather long road trip to visit places of interest on our bucket list. These include but aren’t limited to golf in Birmingham, Cheese-rolling in Gloucestershire; Cow-Tipping in Milton Keynes; posing as statues in Wells and graduating in Oxford. We may not achieve all these goals and we may find other places to pillage along the way; but you are very welcome to join us for a mad week of fun wherever we may end up; or perhaps you’d like to meet or escort us for a short part of our journey. We’ll be staying in a mixture of campsites and B&Bs; basically depending on whatever the weather’s doing and what we can find. And if you can’t join us then please keep an eye out for #drbuttonsdoublecornettoandgratedcheesetour where we’ll try to post as many of our antics as possible.

Time for Tea

Tea is always a difficult thing. There are too many variants and everyone likes to take theirs differently. If it was up to me I’d just turn up with a jug of hot water and a teabag inside a mug alongside a smaller jug full of milk and a pot of sugar. Yes, you can make it how you damn well like; providing that your preferred choice of milk is available. And if you want a particular bag or blend or cane then I’m happy to point you in the direction of the nearest shop. So, no effort and no complaints. If you’re a regular, then it’s not a problem to memorise your preferences and work them into my own routine. There’s also the vessel conundrum. If I give you a cup with a saucer or a souvenir mug of the best bone china; which is the most treasured? Which is expendable? There’s just too many variables in making a cup of tea.

Rocco's Army

Change. It’s something that we all want. Do we suffer as we are, or do we take action; however drastic; to change our ways and persuade those in power that our way is best. Do we carry on whinging to our friends about what we can’t change, or do we say farewell to them and find new ones that can? Is it better to live a long life of suffering, or a short one knowing that you have achieved some good or have inspired others to do the same? And if in the process we can persuade the majority to join in our cause in some respect; however small; and help right each other’s wrongs; then surely this majority can convince those in power that their insolence in office will not stand; their exploitation will not go unnoticed and the principals that they set in stone will slowly begin to tumble. This group pulls people together so that their courage multiplies threefold. This is doing what’s tight for the greater good. This is Rocco’s army.

A Light Lunch #nuclearmermaid4

Jenny got ready to exit the limo. She’d had a fun time entertaining the pool boy after a large lunch, but now she really needed to get down to business. The car pulled up right outside her husband’s offices, and the building’s doorman sprang into action one he’d spotted the car’s plates. Jenny squeezed herself out of the door. Rather than linger for her to exit, the doorman shot straight ahead to open the building’s entrance for her, leaving the limousine’s door open. Jenny had to duck and stoop to walk through the golden frame into the lobby; but she soon stretched out into the foyer once she arrived. She skirted around the scanner to the security guard’s desk and gave a cheeky smile and flashed her cleavage at the young black guard, sliding over the counter as she did so. She then marched past the queue to the nearest open elevator and peered inside. “Room for little old me?” she asked.

On the Buses #dreamdiary52

We’re off to France for the weekend! I’ve got together with some workmates and we’re going to drive down to the border and get across the channel for a wild evening of beers in another country. We decided to borrow a minivan but we couldn’t get hold of one, so we decided to sneak across the border underneath a lorry. The first one stops in a queue of traffic outside my local pub and two of my friends walk underneath the trailer, grab hold of two silver handles and hoist themselves up to hold on for dear life. I’ve no idea how long we have to hold on for or even if the lorry is actually going to France, but the next one is fast approaching and the third friend just walks underneath and grabs on. But while I’ve been thinking about it, I’ve missed my chance and the lorry starts moving. Maybe I can rent a transit and follow them so at least they can sleep it off on the way back.

Getcha Hair Cut!

I’ve been going to the same family of barbers since I was five. Even when they moved premises 200 yards down, I followed them across the road. Nowadays though, it’s getting a bit more awkward to catch them at a quieter time; especially now that the father’s retired. In the past I have waited for up to an hour; and there’s no chance of getting appointments. Evidently the constant custom keeps them in business. So the hunt is on for a new barber. I’ve tried a few of the foreign Turkish barbers and haven’t been impressed. One of them asked for me to make an appointment as he wasn’t accepting walk-ins today. And having my hair shaved off by a chav in a tattoo while bellowing out to his mates doesn’t really do it for me. I like a chat. That’s why I go to Terry’s now. It’s still a walk-in service, but it’s quiet and he’s happy to take his time to do a good job.

Time for tea towels to go tee-total

The BBC have announced that tea towels can cause food poisoning. The shock findings came from a study of 100 towels that have been used for a month by the University of Mauritius. I wonder if they asked their students to volunteer their towels? Hopefully, common sense prevails and that most people have common sense to change them at least when they look grubby or once a fortnight. The BBC then goes on to advise us to wash washing-up brushes in the dishwasher. If I’m lucky enough to own a dishwasher; I’m probably not going to need a washing-up brush. They also advised that disposable cloths and paper towels will stop the spread of germs. True, but it will also generate a lot more waste which can’t be recycled. And a lot of wipes will have chemicals in that won’t make them biodegradable. What the BBC is really doing is creating a health scare; especially when they’re presenting evidence endorsed from other countries.

Upham Fields of Gold at the Rising Sun, Redditch

Some people have fields of gold. They own acres of land and instantly know that they can convert their land to money by leasing it for development and make a steady income from the rent providing that they invest in some infrastructure. Former green spaces on the edges of towns are being converted into large posh housing estates for first-time buyers. As the area grows, the infrastructure needs more support and maintenance too; not just with the site but with the local surrounding area as well. The rest of us might be lucky enough to own a back garden, but we’d be more contempt with having a space away from the crowds than renting it out to become our own Landlords. And even then you’ve got to invest in the property and hope that they don’t do too much of a job of damaging the place. And once you’re through with your investment; are you going to have the power to return it to a patch of green land as before?

A crack in the fissure #NMermaid2

Jenny was tired of being an underling; forced to serve her master. She always wondered what life would be like on the outside. She’d hear whispers of tales from her victims while he was resting; and occasionally she’d piece together stories from the screams of his victims while locked away in her cage. It would be just heaven to escape from her routine of pleasing her master at night. If only she could rid herself of her chains, she could squeeze through the earth’s fissure during the next earthquake. Of course, there was the matter of her spawn. She’d been carrying her master’s child for some time. She’d no way of knowing the gender or whether it would please her master; but it was due very soon. She could feel it kicking round her belly. Perhaps there was an opportunity for her chains to be loosened before she went into labour. It all depended on the desire of her master…

Backyard Canicule at the Rising Sun, Redditch

Are we really apocalypse-ready? Science fiction has prepared us for what could happen in some scenarios and has suggested how governments could cope. But what protocols have really been put in place in the event of a major catastrophe? With all the crazy cuts that are being made to our public services to save funds; is this suggesting that all the money is going towards something bigger? Is there a major shelter somewhere underneath the London Underground or a fleet of spaceships being developed in the Brecon Beacons? The Grenfell Tower disaster illustrated that most of the support during the aftermath came from the local community and that there was very little assistance from the authorities. But if we’re constantly at war with our government and community then how likely are they to assist in these situations? Have they already taken our cut and booked themselves a ticket on the next train to salvation? We will never know until it’s too late.

Loveless Lush

Lush sells cosmetics. It’s a shop that makes its own stuff and sells it to the public. It might be a bit pricey but it’s good quality and quite novel. We don’t have a branch at home any more so I have to travel to find a store. I love the smell of going into a Lush shop; it also amazes me how much I spend there when I’m shopping for gifts. So I found it quite bizarre when I was told that the company had got political and had decided to launch a campaign against the police. When you read about the story; you might sympathise with its ethics. But its advertising has gone completely in the opposite direction, and there’s nothing to distinguish their message from all police officers. There’s not information presented about the undercover police. And that’s where the message and this campaign gets out of hand. Perhaps they should have selected a better campaign such as animal welfare or the use of plastics; at least the public would still support them. This will hit their sales hard. And I’m going to have to have a big think on what to buy my lady friends from now.

On the Road by Jack Kerouac

On the Road by Jack Kerouac
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

This is a true tale of the American wanderer; drifting from town to town exploring the lives of people on the line. It just moves so quickly and you often lose the motive of where the characters actually are and why. There’s some stunning descriptions of life on the open road; but every entry into city nightlife seems to hit the same formula of finding a jazz bar, getting drunk, meeting girls, showing off and seeking a ride to their next destination. The diary-style entries just don't work as there's no comparison of the past and the characters don't seem to learn any lessons. I couldn’t see the mysticism of Dean Moriaty. He just seemed to be a character of child-like wonder who is amused by everything he sees and is happy to follow whatever carrot is dangled in front of him. Meanwhile, everyone else has follows his actions and doesn’t dare to contradict or restrain him. There isn’t much to learn of our protagonists’ history either or where they first met; there is only the friendship of the open road. Mind you, it would be great if the whole real world was as open as receptive as that.

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Caution with the Concessions

It’s difficult to be understood when you’re travelling abroad; least of all when you’re queuing to get served in a concessions kiosk at a stall where the staff don’t give a damn. This was our attempt to try an American hotdog; and was probably in the wrong place as the stand was government-owned rather than an independent owner. As well as my hot dog we’d decided on a steak sandwich and some fries to share. All the sales tax was included so I thought I’d worked the prices out right. I placed my order and she turned her back to get the first item right away; but said ‘I’m listening’ and ordered the other items. It was only after I’d left the queue that I realised that I’d been overcharged for a combo meal but I didn’t receive a drink. Plus, there weren’t any options for onions or relish; you just chose your ketchup and off you went. I wasn’t prepared to get back in the queue so I had to let it go. Still, we had a nice picnic in the National Mall and found some shade under a tree.