‘Attention! Right, it’s been a very hard morning. It’s taken
a long time to get those regimental drums mounted on the shelves, but we’ve
finally done it. It’s all represented. And God only knows how we’ve managed to
get the bottles up there as well as the bust of our queen, but it’s all ready.
Now, the pub will be operated by a human. This means that during our duty, we
must remain motionless for the next twelve hours. There may be time where we
can break from cover for a quick breather but we must be prepared to spring
back into position. So now’s the time to find a pose that you can be
comfortable in. As soon as those lights come on; the long haul starts. The time
for a bathroom break is now people, as we’re going deep undercover while in
plain sight. And should any one of you maggots blow our cover, I’ll shove you
off the shelf so hard that there’s no going back. Clear?’
‘Sir, yes Sir!’.
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