White Van Man

Today I became a proper man; a man who drives a white van in fact! Now I too can roll down my window and say ‘ol right darlin’ as I drive past; smashing into the lorry in front of me as I go. It’s quite strange, driving from a different height though. It’s quite a stretch to reach the handbrake then you’ve got to remember that the gearstick is a lot shorter and there’s extra gears to play with. No rear view mirror but there’s a good parking sensor to help you park and extra wide mirrors to see who’s on your behind. There’s a limiter to limit your speed which is not to be confused with the indicator; and a small wheel for steering; surprising given the size of the lorry. Half the time I do feel that I’m driving as if I’m standing up; but I need to get used to it quite quickly as otherwise there’ll be plenty of time for swinging it round corners and across the curb!

Oliver's Mount

Today I explored Oliver’s Mount; as well as being a war memorial which offers fantastic views of the town; it’s also a natural road racetrack. At the summit sits a café and a free place to park your car, and a wall to perch on with a viewpoint of what you can see. Directly in front of you is Scarborough Castle and the harbour and a beautiful view of the headland. You can also see the terraced hotels of the traditional seaside town and the overspill of a growing resort just love how the Victorian houses and the church stand out on the cliff tops.  I’m half surprised that there’s no police look-out here; but then again half the town’s activity is masked by buildings and it’s very hard to see what’s going down below. You’re better off with the satellites and security cameras. Oliver’s Mount is also a local lover’s lane, though luckily not at this time of year!

Best laid plans...

Today was an interesting day of decisions and debate. Many good people have approached our forum; each with good intentions of how they would like to change things. Their plans were thought out with good intention; but often they were no match for our ideas. Their perceptions had to be changed; and with each idea their motion grew weaker and weaker. And when other people get involved; the idea is further perceived from a different angle; resulting in a completely different action from what the original idea intended. It was great that the realists got involved to make the idea plain and simple; but the perception of the action was often overanalysed for its effects rather than to simply view the desired outcome. This meant that the simplest and effective ideas were thrown out; while the more complicated plans were let through without thought on the effects upon the general public.   

Terror Towers

Yesterday we found a great building on the promenade; it was an old building that had been converted into a walk-through horror funhouse. There were some great horror movie sets with lots of strobe lights and eerie music. Within each room you had to wait for the door light to go green before you could go through it. We had dodgy shower scenes with blood written on the walls; lots of moving puppets and lots of stairs with twists on every corridor. There was a great scene where we waited in a room with some bushes, then a flash of light and we get attacked by velociraptors. Then there's a huge bang as a giant Tyrannosaurus Rex descends upon us. There were aliens and predators; unfortunately the aliens were still in their egg form. We had a great scene from blade when bodies started to move across a belt and we dodge through them to get to the next room. And there was a freaky electric chair scene with a Terminator standing by; which I just couldn't figure out. But Terror Towers is definitely worth a visit. 

Sunny Scarborough

I'm in sunny Scarborough! Well, I'd like to say sunny but a horrible sea mist has descended upon the town, making visibility next to impossible. After settling into our digs for the weekend, we found a nice nearby pub called the cask inn to wet our whistles. After completing our cask marque scan and enjoying a golden swallow; we went for a stroll along the promenade where we couldn't actually see anything at sea. It was great to see all the traditional arcades though with all their lights; there's even a Zoltan machine from the Tom Hanks movie; Big. Food was next on the agenda and after failing to find any fish and chip shops open; we settled for an American themed diner that sold gigantic burgers. After stuffing ourselves full of meat, it was time to explore more pubs. My favourite was the Cellars where a Blues band were playing, and someone fell to the floor and struggled to get up again after several pints of the blackjack IPA. 

Bus wars!

I've been doing a lot of driving lately (I even had to break for ducks today). And I know we're all in a rush to get to places, and we all have different abilities and reaction speeds; but the one thing that really bugs me is to hang on my tail as close as possible. It's certainly not going to make me drive any faster. So why did a bus driver decide to to get as close to me as possible last night? At first I thought he was only heading off to the parkway, but it turned out he was right behind me, and I know that he certainly wasn't sticking to the agreed speed limit. At one point I thought he might actually be trouble; and kept checking my wing mirrors to look out for a group of pirates fighting a group of ninjas while hanging off the outside of the bus. But no, it turned out he was just taking the bus back to the depot. 

That cynical landlord

It’s funny when you seek a fresh perspective from the landlord. True, we know he’s the gaffer and he decides who gets to be served next and whether he can get away with flogging you with another pint while you’re swaying on top of your bar stool but there is also the Landlord’s Opinion. For sure, you don’t want to question their opinions so that you can continue to enjoy your pint. But we know that they can be cynical bastards too, especially when it comes to other establishments. ‘That’s not a pub, it’s a broom cupboard with a wardrobe extension’, you might hear when discussing the latest uber-trendy bar. Another one you might hear is, ‘Oh, I think it’s just an opening offer, normally its £10.20 for two drinks’. But you have to take what you hear with a pinch of salt and go out there and experience it for yourself. Going by what other people say is sometimes overrated, especially when they’re the jealous type because you’ve put your coffers somewhere else…

The computers are in charge...again.

So yesterday was a day I intended for lots of action. I got an article completed, I went to the gym, I got ready for lunch. And then with the afternoon cancelled; it was time to catch up on some work from CAMRA land. And on went the computer, onto the mighty internet to buy things. And Internet Explorer just would not work. It opened, it crashed, it restarted, it crashed, the computer was turned off and on again and a dance was performed in honour of Zap, the god of technology. Neither of these worked, but the phone was connecting just fine. So onto Norton to find out what was wrong with my computer which could not load either, but it did decide that something was wrong with Norton. Norton wanted to go onto the Internet to check this but couldn’t because IE wouldn’t load. Fortunately I have iTunes installed which meant that I could set Safari as my default browser so that Norton could get things fixed. After a brief download and a Norton scan later, everything got fixed, but to this day I have no idea what it was apart from an error code with lots of numbers. Zap does not make things easy. 

Beer to Go

We all know that getting to our favourite pub can sometimes be hard and expensive. We’re all aware of the risks of drink driving and we’re often seduced by cheaper offers of lower quality drinks found on our supermarket shelves. But did you know that more and more pubs are supplying your favourite real ale straight from the landlord’s beer engine to take home with you?

If you’re hosting a party and wanted to get something special for your guests, you could save time at your local pub rather than trek out to the brewery shop. Or if you fancied enjoying a quiet pint at home after a hard day’s work you could just pop into a pub for your favourite pick-me-up without being late for dinner.

If every Good Beer Guide pub each sold just two takeout containers of beer or cider a week, this alone would amount to an extra 936,000 pints or 13,000 barrels annually.  These extra pints would contribute significantly to a rural community pub’s income simply by providing an extra service.

Some pubs already offer their own containers, while others are happy to just fill up whatever you can find! But to make this idea available to a wider audience, CAMRA is currently trialling and researching the use of takeout containers at some of its beer festivals this year. A simple wraparound label has been produced  which sticks onto the existing two pint container, while a more robust carry keg for the regular drinker is currently being discussed.

To find out more, join the debate on Twitter: @takeoutCAMRAproject (not yet created!).

Too much wood at the Woodies

My local pub used to be a cracking venue; they’d always make the effort to have something on to keep you entertained and make you feel guilty when you leave. But last night was absolutely dead. There was no band available despite being a bank holiday weekend. The lounge was empty. There were a few locals there having an argument about change. And only one hand pump had a pump clip on show. I know for a fact that they’ve cancelled their advert in our magazine. But they do have a sneaky barrel behind the bar but they don’t advertise it, and they sell it a lot cheaper too. And while the barmaid was telling the girl who served me that they weren’t short changed, she forgot about handing my change over too. Something is not right in that pub. I’d like to go there and support it more but the beer was a bit too woody, so it’s one place I won’t be visiting for a while.

Bromsgrove pops in for lunch

What was thought to be a quick session in the pub yesterday turned out to be a long lunchtime session.  After visiting the Slug & Lettuce in Bromsgrove to find no real ale on sale, we wandered over to the Golden Cross Hotel to find the world’s grumpiest man complaining about his migraine.  To cheer him up a bit, we invited him to hobble over to the Little Ale House, where the world’s largest black pudding scotch eggs are sold. It certainly kept me going over lunchtime as I enjoyed three beers on offer, which included Goff’s Tournament, Bathams Bitter (I had a pint of this as it had been a while since I’ve drank Batham’s and it was at a reasonable pint), and a delicious dark porter from Cotleigh. And there was a great crowd too; the place was packed with fellow supporters who had all decided to pop in for a lunchtime drink while our presentation was in progress.  So congratulations to the Little Ale House!

Planning Fail

I was really hoping to write about the Royal Oak in Kenilworth last night. I had a tiny bit of energy left in me that would just about get me to the pub for a judge’s visit before heading back home. Unfortunately, I had no money with me as I’d left all my belongings in my swimming bag; which I’d only discovered as I needed to visit the cash point before setting off. So instead I went home early, attempted to catch up on everything but ended up just falling asleep in front of the telly. I suppose I’d been a bit tired out by playing with my niece after coming back from swimming too. She’s got into the habit of saying ‘no Paul’ to everything she does. But she does enjoy being thrown around and held a lot. Still, it’s bank holiday weekend this weekend, so with a bit of luck and discipline I’ll be able to get a lot more activities planned.

Simple Service

One of the things I now do for our beer club is to help judge pubs. We judge the quality of the beer, the welcome and service, value for money, their sympathy to our club aims and their focus on the community. Last week I visited The Punchbowl in Warwick. Upon arrival, I found a car park that would only cost 50p and was a stones throw away from the pub but I did not have a single coin on me. After deciding whether to abandon the car for a few minutes to seek change, I eventually managed to park in the pub's ill designed car park. It could host a total of five cars with no lines and in close proximity to the picnic benches while also within each other. I entered just behind a couple who seemed to take ages at the bar to decide on their drinks and had to order food too. The strange thing was that the barmaid  had decided that we were all together, and left us to wash glasses while the couple were deciding on their food. A very odd assumption considering I hadn't been offered or even consulted on a drink while the other assumed members of my party were sampling away. A simple assumption of simple service will result in a simple score; as the pub's atmosphere was dead and the barmaid  had no attempt in conversation; her primary purpose being to collect up those glasses. Perhaps she thought a fight was imminent in this aptly named pub. 

The Miserables

It's war in my home town!  Kids are roaming round everywhere with rifles in readiness for action and looting up abandoned houses for supplies or trophy items. I'm marching through the streets not knowing who the enemy is, while people are going about their daily business, heading south through the muddy potholed road. Suddenly a grenade is thrown into the centre of the crowd. I shout 'Grenade!' and people start to scatter and stumble. I stop to pick up a young child to get him out of the blast range, only for him to carry on as if nothing has happened as soon as the explosive has detonated. Gunfire erupts and I take shelter in an alleyway belonging to my childhood sweetheart while bricks and mortar fall around me. The people continue as normal, their possessions bestowed upon their shoulders, the bullets somehow missing them or that their ignorance protects them from this apocalyptic world.  

Winter Fuel

On Saturday I went to watch Captain America: The Winter Soldier. It’s quite rare for me to go to the cinema on a Saturday night, usually I’m in the pub but a duty to see a Marvel film that’s been on, coupled together with a friend who I haven’t seen in a while made a good combination. I was actually struggling to stay awake on the journey back home so the fact that I managed to make it through the film without falling asleep was very impressive. It must have been all the action and explosions that kept me going. Afterwards it was definitely pub time where we retired to the Rising Sun to catch up with a pint of Black Geld from Wharfbank brewery in Yorkshire. This was a dark Indian Pale Ale which was rich is flavour and a very nice taste, leaving it moreish but savouring the taste was wanting too. I was tempted by a second pint but tiredness slowly began to kick in, and as my friend was ready too, we retired to Bedfordshire.

Not stale in Stourbridge just yet

Tonight's blog is coming live from Stourbridge town hall where I have been volunteering for the Stourbridge beer festival. It's a great venue and you're not rushed off your feet all the time (unlike some beer festivals), which means that there's often time to have a chat and a flirt with some of the customers. It also means that you have to chat and entertain some of the customers. But I do enjoy serving and it's a great way to pick up banter from other people to use at other events. It's a great mix of people and often the customers themselves don't know what to expect; you've also got the die-hard beer fans who know what they want and complain like hell if they don't get it. But all in all it's a great atmosphere and everyone is here to learn something new. Me? I learnt that cars can be powered by liquid propellant gas. 

Back to the Stockroom

So the best laid plans come to fruition, and, having worked for this company for nine years, I should know this by now. But no. I was actually inspired by a very early start where I arrived at the swimming baths just as people were preparing to go into the pool. I swam my lengths and still managed to catch up on my dives despite being confined to the lanes. Then after an early finish and a quick shower, I quickly discovered that I hadn't forgotten anything, brushed my hair and was able to hit the road to go straight to work. The traffic was flowing quite smoothly and I was able to turn right and take a sneaky shortcut to avoid the lights. So I arrived nice and early, and there was even time for a coffee with a banana and a sausage roll before starting my shift. But it all went backwards from there...

Making a Splash

I’m getting better at underwater swimming. I always seem to struggle with the first surface dive of the day, but on the second one I seem to have a better grasp and tend to be in better training, with a further two strokes underwater. What I am finding it hard to do is to try and find room to surface dive. I often find the pool full or people in the same lane; and can’t always anticipate which way they’re going to swim; especially when the lanes are removed; even though there is more room. Everyone just soaks up the space and swims around each other and not in a straight line.  Within the lane system it gets tighter, as I have to pick a passing pint for other swimmers so as not to crash into them. Often, it creates a backlog as I set myself a minimum of five dives a session; which I then have to carry onto other sessions if the pool is too busy.

Tired already...

So my first day at the new store started off not what I expected. I’m told stuff that is controversial to what I was told in the agreement; and energy seems to be lacking too. There doesn’t seem to be a rush to serve the customers or to get things done during the day. Progress is slow and customers are waiting for their goods which are right in front of them. A need for teamwork needs to be developed if life is to succeed here; and communication between team members seems lost too. Why are certain people doing delivery while others are out on the shop floor all day; having never ventured into the unknown upstairs before? It’s time to make a change; otherwise the rest of the planned changes shall just crumble to a halt. There’s a lot of simple tasks that can be done using teamwork so that we can focus on our tasks too. To the team!

Stop the sick

After the rumble of a full belly, one often feels the need to lie down. Flat on one’s back, one drifts off into an unconscious state, without any reflection on the events that may occur. Then there is the sudden awakening, the register that something is about to happen. One feels the need, but one decides that one is going to pull through and no further action is taken; as prevention is preferred to anticipation. Again and again that same decision is made, held back by willpower and gutso. Until, an unexpected surge forces open the gates; spilling its foul contents out of the abyss; that pit where one thought it would be held; and floods into our world. Disgust and regret are our first instincts; yet at the same time a sense of relief is detected; in that the worst is over and there is only the aftermath to attend to.

Team Walsall En Force!

Yesterday was a great day in Walsall and I am proud of how people have come together. While we didn’t get any actual new recruits on the day, we did have people who had already decided that they would venture out to join us. It was a great chance for people to meet and greet each other from other branches and to start the process of a support network. After meeting and greeting each other at the festival, a local guide took us to our first pub; the Fountain. People were a little apprehensive at first as some of them haven’t been on a crawl like this before; but everyone soon got talking to each other and finding out a bit more what they do within CAMRA. We visited a further three pubs, and had an excellent time seeking out many other beers that I hadn’t tried before. It’s just a shame that I felt queasy the day after.

Push!

I need to find a new source of energy. As I arrived home last night I was completely out of energy to even look at a community project. I turned on the computer, looked at the TV, and felt totally shattered. In the morning I set my alarm for a 6am start to get a gym session in, but couldn’t even move. Although I was awake, I couldn’t actually stir until an hour before work. The exact same thing happened tonight; as I put on Haywire, watched a feature-length episode of Family Guy, then flicked over to Wanted. If I’m going to succeed with even shorter hours over the next few months, I definitely need to knuckle down and focus a lot more. I don’t think I can find a stimulant; just a lot of discipline. So to be braver I need to push harder and longer, whatever the cost.

Build the best team

Yesterday I met my new team that I’ll be working with over the next six months. They’re a quiet bunch but it seems that they’ve experienced a lot of changes within the store and that their energy is at an all-time low. We had a lot of flipchart discussions to lay down some new team rules to help support each other. We did some team building activities like building a safety device for an egg to stop it from smashing when it hits the floor. We did some charades to get people to relax and do things that they wouldn’t normally do. And I met my new boss’s four year old mentor. There’s nothing like a four year old to tell you to smile to get you going. But if there’s one thing that I need to do is to be the best that I can be. Push myself further. Be braver and bolder and head into the unknown.

Itsy Bitsy

Today featured a gym visit and, although I had a lazy  Monday, there was still a chance to make a little bit of progress to recover. Though perhaps Monday’s lie-in was a good thing as there was no water for the showers. Not sure how long that’s been going on. But there’s still the exercise bikes that don’t work when you attempt to change the touchscreen settings; and the TVs on the treadmills aren’t receiving anything either, probably because they’re stuffed with bog roll. The car park’s in a disarray because of the road being dug up to look at the water supply, which means that cars are all over the one-way system. And one of the ends of the chest press has wandered off. Still, at least the biceps curl has finally been fixed. I have toyed again with the idea of joining the cheaper town centre gym; but the view is so much nicer here. Then again, I may have to look at accessibility options when I start the new job…

Dog eat dog

The world is full of idiots. Even the simplest instructions can be misinterpreted. And because of what someone has decided to do, I have received an earful of how upset they were because they didn’t follow those instructions, and apparently it is my entire fault. So I now need to find a new team member to replace him otherwise it’s going to be a bloodbath throughout the rest of the year. Because I’m not putting up with any more crap that he chooses to throw at me. So if others want to support him then that’s fine and I can just walk away and carry on in the sidelines as everyone else does. But if people want me at the forefront to organise things then a decision will have to be made. It’s a dog eat dog situation, and the only way out of it is if he comes forward and apologises.