Scottish Standoff

It was the ultimate battle. Man versus nature. We were protected in a metal shell, though I have no idea whether it was effective as our opponents were Scottish. And cows. But the fact that the car that we were in was red probably didn’t help things. To be fair to them, it was more of a track than a road that we were attempting to travel down. Perhaps they thought that we were their keepers and had come to milk or feed them. Or maybe they were out enjoying the rare Scottish weather. We didn’t want to use our horn in case it agitated them into a stampede. All we could do is slowly edge forward. Eventually, one of them did decide to show its rear end to us as it walked way, and the others cottoned on. It might be making a stubborn rude gesture, but luckily nothing came out of that end.

Flippin' David

I was very proud of my pancakes this year. After doing a few test batches, I finally got the formula right. It’s best if you let it set in the fridge overnight. Add some oil so that they don’t stick and don’t start cooking them until you’re sure that the pan’s hot. That way, they don’t take long to get solid so you can be confident of a good flip. And don’t be afraid to leave them in there. I’ve produced some brilliant pancakes with leopard patterns owing to letting them turn golden brown. Then come the toppings. You can get creative and artistic or you can go with flavour. This year, I simply went for Nutella with a bit of Jiff lemon, which has the most annoying of caps to open. I eventually got it off permanently. I later found out that strawberries would have been a good call too. 

Green Day

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We’d just popped back to the cottage for lunch. We’d plans for an afternoon excursion and was just about to depart when we looked up at the bridge to see a gathering of people. This must be Green Day. We hadn’t been totally detached from world events and we’d read on the news that various environmental marches were taking place today, but we didn’t realise that there’d be one in our area. They’d made a banner and we wondered if they’d be stopping traffic or walking alongside it. Either way, we decided to set off before they obstructed us. Fortunately, we weren’t planning to cross the bridge, we’d just need to drive up the hill towards it. People were still heading over, and one man was attempting to drive a huge banner on a mobility scooter. As he approached the roundabout, it toppled over. We started to help him, but his entourage was already there to assist and we gave him plenty of time to complete his crossing. It was a good job that we’d made plans otherwise we might have joined them, which would have been interesting and we’d quite possibly start an England versus Scotland riot.

 

Ragdoll

This was an interesting drama with lots of promise, though the plotline did lack in places. There’s a good sense of dark humour and some of the murders are very novel, but it also exposes some very dark holes in the police force. And would you really trust the same people to manage a serial killer once they’ve failed three times already? Even the tactics that they take towards the end of the series focus on gung-ho tactics to protect themselves rather than the public. It’s a shame that we didn’t see any background to the characters that were targeted apart from the episode that they appeared in. The protagonist had quite a strong backstory to dip into but I get a sense that the conclusion did not justify his irrational actions. It must have been clear early on that the producers got bored early and turned it into a chase rather than a whodunnit, but it’s still entertaining.

Beauty and the Bridge

I just love this concrete bridge. It marks the gateway to the island, and it’s elegant, slim, stylish, and it gets

people from A to B. On a grey day it doesn’t even has to be painted, which probably suits Scotland. Occasionally boats moor up in front of it, but that makes the view even more attractive. The lighthouse just beyond the bridge is the perfect setting for man versus nature, and there’s very little that the bridge does to obstruct the view of the hills beyond. In some cases it’s better as it blocks out the monstrosity beyond it, until you get underneath it. I thought it was a small oil refinery but it turns out that it’s a salmon farm. Even though there’s a fair amount of traffic on the bridge, it's far enough not to disturb the tranquillity of the village. It’s a shame that I never physically set foot on it, especially when there’s a section of parkland beyond it.

Lost Underground #dreamdiary 130

We’ve gone for a walk around our old college grounds. We’re in a concrete tunnel that’s on the map as a public footpath. Even though it’s in a student town, it’s completely bare. There’s no rubbish or graffiti. I’m struggling to work out how it’s lit. We climb a hill, and at the mouth of the tunnel we walk into a beautiful summer’s day with blue sky. We’re also standing on someone’s lawn. To the left of us there’s a family having a picnic, and on the right there’s a large group of people having a barbecue. No-one’s the last bit bothered by our appearance. We reach the houses and there’s a gap between the two of them. There’s not even a fence separating the path from the fence. I call up the GPS map on my phone and sure enough we’re standing on the pink dotted line indicating a footpath. I wonder how often it’s used. 

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I know this is a mockery but I found the narration just a bit too snobby for my liking. There were too many characters using big words and way too many adjectives to make it an enjoyable tale. It’s as if Austen wants to show off her knowledge of the English language. The majority of the novel came from gossip rather than any event occurring, and how people reacted to other while attempting to remain polite and not offend anyone. Just think of the consequences if they did! Give me a rogue and a bit of conflict any day. Of course, misinterpretation can be a cruel thing, which is what the plot of the novel comes down to, but it does get confusing sometimes as the characters are just so plain as they are all alike. Yawn. Perhaps there’s a missing chapter or two somewhere. There definitely needs to be a spiced-up re-write. I like the fact that this book comes with instructions and that it lets you feel free to skip the introduction and make your own opinion of the book before being steered to agree with somebody else’s.

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The Expedition #vampress 2

Trade in the village was suffering. There was little left to hunt in the wilderness, and since it was far from other villages, the residents were forced to cook what they could find. At one point they organised an expedition to gather food from further afield, but the hunting party never turned and a second party was sent out to locate the first one. In the meantime, folks looked to the wolves that gathered around the castle at night. Was someone feeding them there? From a distance they looked quite tame, but everyone was too tired to watch them all night and see them re-emerge. One day, they decided to appoint an expedition to approach the castle for a closer look. The party would consist of the fastest men of the village backed by the most dexterous, who could close a path of retreat should the wolves decide to give chase. 

Otter Spotting

The first sailing for the excursion wasn’t until 11. We weren’t sure whether this was due to the time of year or the tides but we didn’t really need an excuse for a lie-in. We staggered into the sunlight and onto the boat, then started to head downstairs to get a good spot for the glass bottom window. Our captain asked us to remain topside for the time being since it was a narrated tour rather than a see-what-you can one. It wasn’t long till we approached a cluster of rocks and it was only when we looked carefully we spotted the otters. They sat still as if we’d snuck up on them unawares and hoped that we hadn’t seen them. The boat then turned underneath the bridge and we were invited to go below deck. Benches were placed in front of large windows but there was little to see other than stones, pebbles, and lots and lots of algae. 

 

Trollin'

Isn’t it annoying when you try to do a good deed for society but someone stops you? I tried to do one such thing today. There was a trolley loose in the car park, and it had somehow made it to the exit. I decided to do the right thing by returning it to the front of the store. As I approached, a car had parked on the sideroad right across the dropped kerb. I wasn’t prepared to lift the trolley up the kerb, and I hoped that the driver would pull forward to allow me to complete my manoeuvre. Instead, he decided to stay where he was. All I could do was leave the trolley at the side of the road. I pointed to the dropped kerb as I walked past and I hope that they realised what they had done. It would have been nice if they had finished the deed for me but I have no way of telling. 

Beach Day

Today we headed to the north-west of the island to venture to Coral beach. We followed the sat-nav which led us to a narrow track with a gravel car park at the end of it lined with birch trees. The car park was quite full, but I was determined to get as close as possible to the front and we did find a space near to the kissing gate. We headed down the grassy track and we were soon walking alongside the sea. At the end was a beachhead of beautiful golden sand alongside a rocky pebbled shore. There was also a grassy path leading up to the top of a cliff head. If we were braver, we might have waded across the rocks to the island, but instead we just had a picnic and enjoyed the view. For the number of cars that were around, the area was quiet. Perhaps they’d found walking routes further afield.  

 

"You think, 'What if I make a mistake today, I'll regret it.' I don't believe in regret, I feel everything leads us to where we are and we have to just jump forward, mean well, commit and just see what happens."

-Angelina Jolie.

Some things happen accidentally. You might start with the best of intentions but things might just not go your way. You might be at fault even if you didn’t mean it. It’s just that a decision that you made didn’t go in your favour, and you should have chosen another option. Hopefully you’ll learn from your mistake. Not believing in regret could be a great attitude. You can wake up with everything behind you knowing that you’ve only got to tackle with the events of today. But it also means that you’re not taking responsibility for your past. It says a lot about celebrities really. Not feeling regret can be seen as unemotional or inhuman and unsympathetic, especially if you’ve done an act that offends others. It might be great if you’re turning over a new leaf but it could be damaging to the people that you’ve left behind. Sometimes you need to finish things off before you can move onto others. It leaves a lot less clutter. 

Out with the Birds

I was very impressed by the boldness of the birds on the island. They were quite loud and often you’d hear them before you could spot them. I don’t know my birds that well and it could be native to the island, but it looked like a brown robin. Perhaps it was too warm for him to exhibit red feathers, or maybe he wasn’t young enough for them yet. Or his added height might make him feel safe enough to make some noise while watching other events unfold below. He might even be a chameleon robin. It was hard to spot any other birds in the area. Perhaps they’d already started their migration, or maybe they tend to hide further inland where they’re less likely to be spotted by predators. So this little chap could have been abandoned as he wasn’t strong enough. He could have been calling out to his family. 

What Makes a Man Cry?

Pass the emotion cards please. Onions. Pollen. Dead people. A regretful decision or occurrence that cannot be reversed. A phrase that overwhelms us. Unexpected physical pain that we are struggling to cope with, although sometimes a person can work through it quick enough to convert it into anger, especially if they’re dehydrated at the time. Why do you want to know? Do you want to make someone suffer? Or do you believe that some people are incapable of emotion? Don’t forget that even if someone isn’t shedding tears it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re not feeling sad inside. Some people are sensitive and may emote to situations that haven’t occurred yet which could be a moment that they fear. Then should it occur, they find themselves ready for it because they’ve anticipated it. Or, they might cry privately so that they might have courage to assist others in their hour of need. 

Fairy Bridge

Our final destination of the day was the Fairy Bridge. Little is known about this attraction, and it took me a while to find on Google. Luckily, I’d downloaded the entire island before the trip so even though I was off-line we still headed to our destination. It wasn’t much to look at. A single-track road by a bus stop held a parking place to admire it, but all we could see was a small stream passing through a stone arched tunnel. I headed down the embankment to take a picture of it. There was a footpath going across it but I had no idea where it led to. Luckily it was dark, the others had had some whisky and we still had a good hour’s drive before we would be back at the cottage, so there were plenty of excuses for pressing for home. Oddly, I discovered that my phone had been playing music at low volume for quite some time while I’d been driving. The others thought it amusing that I’d only just noticed it. Curse my ears! 

Getting Jiggy with It

Many people have asked me if this actually works. The idea that you roll your puzzle around a cardboard tube and expect it to remain intact is absurd. But it does! There’s a nice, bold white border to help you keep everything aligned. It all looks so simple and I’m wondering if I could make something similar myself using a wrapping paper tube. The only thing that I’m not keen about it is the itchy material on the cloth. Oh, and the pieces don’t glide on the surface if you want to move a whole chunk of puzzle to a different area. But there’s room to put your pieces outside of the puzzle for you to sort and try later. I wonder if that’s the secret for the pieces to remain in place. It also comes with a puzzle, although it’s not a very exciting one. Ours was of a racecourse. I wonder if it varies. 

Dark Nature

I love how the trees bend to make archways. I don’t know whether they’re grown like that or that they’ve been positioned to that effect, but I suspect that some maintenance is involved to keep a pathway. If you can carve a wall into a rockface to make a home, you can twist trees to make a garden. In some ways, it looks as if nature is attempting to swallow you up to lock you away from the world, and that might not be a bad thing in these modern times. It’s a little escape, providing that you’re not trapped and that you’re free to return at will. Leaves scattered across a path suggest that something was there before but the wind has blown it away. But you never know what’s around the next corner. It might be something nasty, or it might be a nice surprise. The only way to find out is to venture onwards… 

Adventurous Places

In the olden days, you’d leave the safety of your familiar surroundings armed to the teeth and head into the outdoors. You might face dinosaurs, volcanoes or even vagabonds depending on where and when you are. There’s not too many adventurous places around here. It’s just towns and countryside. But adventures needn’t take place across perilous landscapes. It’s just somewhere that you’ve seldom been before. Even a shortcut through a muddy wood on a rainy day can be an adventure. Will the path be blocked by trees or water, forcing you to alter your plans? Will you slip down in the mud? Will there be an obstacle to conquer? Will you encounter a stranger that interacts with you? All these events can make a story to tell, and that’s what makes an adventure. It’s all about going somewhere new. You might explore castles of old or a complex of buildings in large cities. But there needs to be a risk involved with a successful gain at the end of it; whether it’s monetary or for the experience. 

You Spin me Right Round

In the middle of the courtyard is a giant pebble. It’s black and shiny, I’s made of marble and it sits on a pedestal. It also spins, not on a motor but with a bit of force. And being unsupervised after a tour to a distillery, it was decided that someone should sit on top of it. It was supposed to be a bit of art. It was a fair vault to get to the top of it and I had to get it spinning first, but I didn’t half feel some speed up there. I was very reluctant to move, even to look around, so I just waited for the world to spin by me. None of my friends wanted to try it, but I think I started a trend for other people to follow. I can’t remember if it goes in either direction so if someone could let me know, I’d be grateful.

 

New Year's Eve

Eight different plotlines in this story merge together to create a feel-good film, but the fact that there’s too many stories to follow results in a movie that’s more of a people-pleaser rather than creating a nice aura. The star-studded cast must have cost a fortune to film, and with Bon Jovi performing I can only think that it was an actual live concert with free tickets passed out to everyone in part payment for the picture. Some might have even just passed by and got roped in. The secretary story was a bit pathetic and it would have been nice to have seen a backstory to understand her character. There’s a sense of goodwill as everything turns out just right for everyone and there’s no losers which is just what we want in a Tinseltown film, but there’s no serious conflict and not a lot of originality here.    

A Scottish Country Garden

Outside, there were trips to see otters in the bay. We tried to see them from the ramparts but the boats were heading too far out so we went outside for a closer look. The surrounding land seemed to be filled with rotting moss and overgrown grass. At the end of the inlet were some holiday cottages and a small shop selling ice creams. But hidden inland beneath the landscaped hills was a waterfall. Somehow, our group separated to explore different parts of the garden. I climbed a hill through some woods hoping to get a view of the castle, and looked down onto a lawn complete with divided flower beds in between the gravel path. There were also cosy tunnels cut through the hedgerows to form beautiful archways. In the centre was a square pond complete with lily pads and a small fountain. This also formed the castle’s own herb and vegetable garden.

 

The Wreck #dreamdiary 129

I’ve been a naughty boy. I’ve had a few too many halves at the pub. I’m trying to stop myself from sliding across the road, but either the brakes aren’t working or I’m not pressing them hard enough. I end up hitting a barbed wire fence with wooden poles. There aren’t too many holes in the car, but there are tons of dents and scratches. I stagger out of the passenger side of the car. In my state, it’s clearly not a good idea to attempt to drive the car back onto the road. However, if I leave it where it is it’ll probably be reported by the police who’ll want to know why it’s been abandoned which could lead to criminal damage and a licence ban. What I really need is a friend to come over and drive the car for me or at least reposition it safely then I can go about assessing the damage in the morning. But who can I call?

Once Upon a Time in the West... Country by Tony Hawks

Once Upon A Time In The West...Country by Tony Hawks
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This book has a lot of self-promotion, especially at the start where the tie-ins to Hawks’s other projects don’t seem to stop. But it is an enjoyable read with some unique moments, even if it is a little biopic. The humour is what tends to expect of a city lad who isn’t used to chatting to reserved people. As the book progresses, it’s clear that Hawks’s usefulness to society is becoming more and more irrelevant. It’s the way that every trivial thing described becomes an obstacle which he can only solve by seeking help from others. As well as the odd handy fact, Hawks also loves to digress and daydream a bit with his wonderful anecdotes. It’s a shame that few photographs were published in this tale. The true question is whether this book is a swan song. Perhaps he will ride that tractor from coast to coast. After all, a bet has officially been made. Only time will tell.

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Do the Barton

Tiny square teeth expel underneath a pointy nose topped by blonde hair and large square ears. At times, his hair is that short that you’d be forgiven for thinking he’s bald. It’s more likely that he had it shaved for a bet. Occasional signs of acne might break out on his face, though whether it’s a pox or down to bad hygiene practices it’s hard to say. His face is so white. It’s as if he’s never been outside before. He must have been skinny at an early age but a few years of rugby has helped him to bulk up. He’s always wearing some kind of rugby attire, though on formal occasions he might go for a black leather jacket and jeans if he’s not in uniform. He speaks quietly but intellectually. He’s happy to hang out with the lads but doesn’t want to take the lead unless he’s on his own, which is seldom. He hates asserting his own independence. 

Fairie Tales

Inside the castle were objects that you’d expect to see in a stately home. There were polished cups on large tables in roped-off areas, portraits on the walls and plush chairs and chandeliers. Oddly, one of the framed things was an old, tattered piece of tapestry. This was the Fairy Flag which was gifted to the clan by the King of the Fairies and is the sole reason for the clan’s family history. Why it was given is unknown and is more likely pillaged from some other clan. It may just be the oldest thing in the museum’s collection. The view from the castle terrace isn’t that impressive until you get to the ramparts and see the adjoining islands, unfortunately the family still reside in the castle so the upper areas are restricted. But they do bring a sense of fun in exploring the castle by installing wax figures of servants hidden in the passages. They may give you a bit of a shock. 

Change your Voice

Changing your voice is difficult. You can sound quite different when speaking to someone else. You might use different tones of voice when speaking to colleagues and customers without even realising it, which customers absolutely hate because it makes you sound condescending. People might wonder who’s talking if they hear you talking to a friend or family member on the phone. You might just take them by surprise, especially if you decide to change your accent. But sometimes it’s nice to hear a different voice. It adds a different presence and mystique to the room unless you’re not expecting anybody. But having two voices in the same tone is just boring. It’s nice to mix it up a bit, especially if you’re a smart speaker. Why not have the ability to have different celebrities? Some people might even be dumb enough to pay to do it. It does seem that you can, but the process looks a lot more long-winded than it should be. 

Doing Dunvegan

We travelled down a very well-maintained coastal road and found a space in a small car park. I’d hate to think what it would be like in the summer. As we left the car we were greeted by a robin who wasn’t shy to come and say hello. There was a small bungalow selling souvenirs and over the road was a hut selling entrance tickets. After studying the prices, we worked out that if one of us became a friend, they could invite the rest of us in at a cheaper rate. We ventured through the stone and iron gates, and at the end of the hedgerow were some beautiful plants. We decided to head into the castle first as there were few people about. Its exterior seriously needed a paint job, but inside it was well furnished with carpeted stairs. The family’s artwork and heirlooms were on display for all to see, alongside a stuffed moose’s head which guarded the stairs. 

The Vampress #Vampress 1

In a dark, dark village lies a dark, dark, secret. A secret that causes the villagers to hide in fear. They welcome the summer but in winter they go into hibernation. In the hills, a tall, thin castle looms above them all, but nobody dares to climb the windy path to its peak. There was a time where the occupants of the house were respected. They used their wealth to help defend the villagers from oppressive invaders. Today, the occupants have not been seen. It’s as if a curse has been struck to condemn the village into misery and not provide modern amenities. No-one knows if anyone remains. They only know that at night the wolves come crawling up to its doors. It’s quite odd. They’ve never seen so many packs before. And no-one dares stay up to watch them leave at dawn. Once the howling stops, they know it’s safe to sleep. 

Malch Ado About Nothing

We gathered in the malt room. Through the glass window we could see a shiny red machine that crushes the malts that are used in the whisky. Our guide told us a bit of history about the company then led us into the fermenting room. In this large. bricked white-washed echoey room, four giant copper tanks were placed in the centre. A small glass viewing square was provided for us to examine the contents within. It was staring into the head of an extra-large dalek. After seeing the fermenting in action, we were taken to a dark cellar where the finer whiskys were fermenting in their barrels. After that it was time for tasting. Two questions remain: why do the Scots spell whisky without an e and how is the process dissimilar to beer? I was probably told at the time but I can’t remember. The only thing that I don’t like about these tours is that you don’t get to see anyone doing any work. It’s probably a health and safety thing and a good excuse for the workers to take a break.   

What's a Wordle?

Quite simply, you must guess the word in five attempts. After each attempt you’re told if you got a letter in the right place and if you got a matching letter in the wrong place. On my first ever attempt, I was one letter out from guessing the solution. I didn’t come armed with tactics so I kept repeating my letters instead of spreading them. I don’t think that there’s anything new to it other than it’s available online, and I’m amazed that the page isn’t crawling with adverts unless I’m using the wrong site. I’m sure that a similar puzzle appeared in a newspaper where you changed one letter in each row to transform the top word into the bottom word in five attempts. I think there’s even a TV show in a similar format named Lingo? I think contestants get clues for that one, though they don’t get the Mastermind-styled clues.