Washing Woes

My brother’s been after a new washing machine. His old one is a Proaction which is currently shaking itself to bits. After enquiring about size, it became clear that he just wanted something that works at a cheap price. We made enquiries at the local electrical store but the cheapest model that I sold beat their offer and I could get it even cheaper if his machine could survive until the end of the month because of an extra discount weekend. I then had to keep it to one side until the big day. When we sold one, I had to order another one in and hope that it would still be there on the big day. Finally, I stayed up until the first minute of the sale day to put the order through. Then all I had to do was give him the code and he could pick it up himself. And pay me back of course.

Ellen's Stardust Diner

This was a great place to come for a late lunch and we didn’t have to queue. Not only was there a crazy menu but the entertainment was good too! Basically, it’s a traditional American diner but all the waiting staff are wanna Broadway performers; and they sing and dance show tunes in between taking your order and bringing your food to the table. In the middle of the restaurant are two long back-to-back booths and in the middle is a very thin catwalk-cum stage that they use to climb up and perform. I got a peck off the cheek from our waitress as we sang. I had a very bizarre meal; it was a deep-fried chicken breast served on a waffle and it was huge. For our finale, they sang Let it Go and in the final chorus they let loose a glitter bomb. After that they passed the ‘college fund’ bucket round a second time so we sensed that we’d outstayed our welcome. As we left, we saw that the queue for dinner had formed right down the street.

The Bait Box

The mouse was still in the house. At one point, it had managed to scurry upstairs and pop out underneath my wardrobe. I had to wonder whether it was brave enough to make the venture upstairs or did it go through the walls? We also noticed that something had been burying itself underneath the shed. I stuck a hosepipe underneath that for a while but nothing came out. We needed to take further action, so we bought a pre-loaded bait box. This encourages the mouse to have a wander inside the box and take a nibble of the poisoned bait. Over the next few days we noticed a trail of crumbs outside the box but then there was nothing, and there were no sightings either. There’s also a lack of any odd smells, so hopefully the little bugger’s crawled off to die outside and the nest has been evacuated; wherever it might be.

Light em Up!

One of the great things that companies seem to do nowadays is take advantage of their skyline-owned space and do something novel to add to the view. Most companies will just incorporate an interesting design to the landscape (providing the governing body approves). But there’s also the night factor. If it’s a headlining company, it’ll do its best to get its name out there. But with a bit of luck, it’ll contribute an interesting lighting scheme to contribute to the show as well. But there’s a greater cost in this and it depends on how the company is performing. If they can get away with it, they’ll try and switch them off during the twilight hour. This might even be thanked by the locals since they won’t have a neon show streaming through their window every night. Unless it’s a blind company forcing them to buy their products. But if I lived in that neighbourhood, I’d rally round my neighbours and get people to use their lights at just the right time and in the right position to spell out a different message.

Behind the Counter

It’s hard working in a fast-paced environment with little or no room to manoeuvre in. You’ve got to serve your customers as quickly as possible and as accurate as possible all while being as cheerful as possible. You’ve also got to work as a team and let them know as soon as any problems develop. And you’ve got to keep an eye on who’s waiting for what. If you’re young then the older customers are more likely to forgive you; unless they’re regulars in which case they may think that you should know better. And to survive all this, it all comes with experience. You’ve got to keep going and keep the line moving, even when you think that things should be settling down. And at the end of it all, you can take away a tea as big as you want. And if you don’t like it, there’s plenty of fish in the sea.

The Big Bus App

As we were on the move, I downloaded the Big Bus app to help us keep track of our buses because even though there was a schedule; we couldn’t rely on it because of traffic conditions. The app was supposed to allow us to keep track of the buses in real time; send you notifications when one was approaching your area; and tell you the sights around each stop. The trouble was that I never seemed to get the damn thing to work. I spent a lot of time trying to steal WiFi and using my data allowance to track a bus and it never seemed to update until a bus was actually in physical sight. I don’t know whether the app was faulty or it was just my carrier trying to adjust to a different country’s network; but we found it quite frustrating. I also found that when we returned to our hotel and logged onto the room’s WiFi; the app wanted an update. Perhaps there were bugs that they were trying to fix. More frustratingly; their rival bus company seemed to run buses more frequently. Perhaps they gave out less information? I wonder what the deal was.

Joe Lycett's Got Your Back

I first took interest in this show when I saw a few clips on Facebook when Lycett replied to spam e-mailers to see how far he could take them. It’s a shame that this wasn’t made the bulk of the show; he could have even made the public join in with his campaigns if they’ve received similar stuff. Instead it’s a self-styled consumer show where they respond with dark humour to issues that Watchdog don’t. Although their response campaigns are very amusing; they seem more like time wasting exercises in my eye and very rarely achieve an actual result. There are also unnecessary guest campaigners on the show; merely big names who read pre-researched facts and do very little to have their own uptake on the show. There’s also Mark S who’s treated as a god but does very little other than press a few buttons and reads a few deadpan lines. His Halifax and Burger King sketches are great to watch, but there needs to be one of these in every episode. I would watch a second series but the format needs to be adjusted somewhat.

Little Italy

Tonight, we wanted to find a dinner venue that had a bit more splendour. After returning to our hotel for a rest, I got out my tablet to start exploring. I found a lovely little family-owned Italian restaurant that looked just the job and downloaded their menu. It was only a short walk away, though we did wander if we were walking into a Goodfellas front or whether it’d be heaving because of the reviews. Thankfully, it wasn’t. The staff were very polite and attentive and dressed to suit. I decided for the traditional Mama’s meatballs, while Mum opted for a chicken and mushroom pasta dish. We got given a complimentary bread basket and were left to soak in the old-world surroundings of terracotta pots and photographs on the walls. The prices were fair for the size of the portions. Afterwards we went for a wander through some backstreets and found a street of local bars, each with their own character.

An Early Breakfast #devilsdaughter6

The porter entered the room to see a large wall of flesh in front of him.

‘We’ve been getting complaints…’ he trailed off. He’d meant to say ‘about a large amount of noise from this room’. The staff were used to the odd ruffle coming from the presidential suite but this was ridiculous. But what put him off from finishing his sentence was the extraordinary large woman in the room. Her head was practically touching the ceiling and he began to wonder how this woman got into the hotel in the first place, yet alone this room. He then noticed her complexion, which was closer to red than orange. Finally, as he looked down, he noticed two beanbag sized globes attached to her chest.

‘We do apologise for the noise’ said Lucinda.’ Why don’t we go into the bathroom and we’ll talk about it. Only don’t wake hubby, he can get quite angry…’  

The Night Bus

Our plan for the evening was to take a night tour which was included in our ticket. On this tour, we’d head downtown on a double-decker bus, cross the Brooklyn Bridge and have a quick tour of Brooklyn as well. After queuing for half an hour amongst foreigners not grasping the idea that this was a non-stop bus; we set off at an astonishing speed for a tour bus. We could certainly feel the wind in our hair and it felt more like a roller coaster; and we had to be quick to snap the sights that we wanted. There was also an audio tour, but it took a while for it to be up and running. The driver also decided to do a little backstreet tour and take us along cobbled streets which was an area showcasing some of the city’s finest shops. The tour concluded outside a giant M&M store which we wandered around but couldn’t much grasp the overpriced point of it.

The Rights of the Royals

If there’s no parliament, then surely there shouldn’t be a Prime Minister? Suspending parliament should really put the Queen in charge over all others. It all sounds a bit backwards that the Queen can let the Prime Minister do just what he wants. But then again, Prime Minister is the literal backward for Member of Parliament. There may be another motive taking present here. Obviously, the Queen is aware of how much we pay the European Union as it is her government. But is she after a bigger slice of the cake once it’s done? To be fair I think we all are, but if everyone gets the same proportion then all will be well. But to put all this trust into one man is practically on the same level as crowning Boris Johnson king. I don’t think Her Majesty has realised what she’s let herself in for. And of course, now that he realises that he can suspend parliament, there’s no way of knowing of whether he’ll attempt to do it again.  

Rocking around the Rockefeller

The Rockefeller complex is an amazing area to visit. Once you’ve wondered around appreciating the artwork and independent shops on offer, you find the little office that grants you access to the roof, or Top of the Rock as it’s known. Armed with your tickets, you’ve then got to search for the right elevator as it’s not very well signed. But once you’re in, there’s an interesting presentation of the building’s construction and you get to pose on a piece of scaffolding high above the city as well. This is one of the best places to view the city; especially if you want views of the Empire State Building as well. When you step out from behind the glass, the wind really hits you. But equally impressive is the ground plaza where there’s an impressive fountain and gardens, and if you’re lucky enough there’s the iconic ice rink too. Failing that, the Lego shop is open all year round! 

What is an Experience that you've had as a co-passenger that you'll never forget?

I’d just landed at Gatwick, and because of the lateness of the hour, my only option home was to head into central London to get a bus back to Birmingham. I got a ticket and had a bit of a wait in the squalid bus station. While I was waiting, a young woman smiled at me and asked me how to get to Manchester. I pointed her in the direction of the reception desk who would be best set to guide her as to how to proceed. She purchased her ticket and came back to me to ask what to do next. I looked at her ticket and saw that she was due to ride on the same bus as mine. She then proceeded to ask me all sorts of questions as to how she should get to her destination in Manchester to which I suggested getting a taxi. She then passed me a phone who apparently was her partner and asked me if I could escort her; but I stated that I was not going that far. Throughout the journey she kept tapping me and handing the phone and the gentleman asked if I could make arrangements, and all I could tell him that I was ill-equipped to do so, and all I wanted was to fall asleep on the bus.

West Side

We learnt quite a bit about New York on our return trip. Our guide shared hidden locations of apartments owned by celebrities; some of which have lifts just for their cars so that they still have the luxury of parking outside their front door. The rest of them have to make do with paying outrageous parking fees or live with the fact of not driving at all. And there’s some great examples of how the space is used, from paying by the hour to use coin-operated lifts to pier-side rooftops with an outdoor gym complete with trapeziums. As we prepared to disembark, I noticed a sign advertising one of my arch-nemeses: Scientologists. We passed a metal workshop selling famous robots including a life-sized R2D2 in the doorway, then we decided we had time to visit one more landmark before calling it a day of sightseeing. To this end, we headed over to the Rockefeller Centre.  

"Control your own Destiny or someone else will"

-Jack Welch.

It’s that simple. If you want to keep your job, you’ve got to convince the people above that you’re worth keeping. You’ve got to control the powers that be to keep them happy. And you’ve got to work smart, not hard. It’s no good just being a yes man as they’ll just pile it all on you right now with their workload included. But at the same time, demeaning them isn’t going to get you into their good books. It’s a delicate balance of keeping everyone just the right amount of happy. And if you’re not in your dream situation, sitting on your arse waiting for it to come to you just isn’t going to happen. You’ve got to get out there and showcase your skills. Even if you’re waiting for a job offer to land in your in-box; you’ve got to take the time to create a great profile in the first place.

The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame

The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

An interesting read, though one does find it hard for a child to imagine the anthropomorphic animals waltzing about the countryside in tweed jackets and waistcoats. It also seems a little odd to bring a mole out of his natural habitat to suddenly start socialising with other animals. However, you do gain a sense of animalistic fear when Mole loses his way in the Wild Woods. But there’s not much of a moral to the tale either. As a result of his crimes he gets to throw a party for all his friends; though I suppose the karma comes through the weasels. Actually, that sounds about right when you look at the current state of the gentry; even though it’s not a good message to pass onto children. But what it does teach you is the value of friendship and that you should hold onto them whatever your opinion may be.

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Boppi the Dancing Llama

Mum was struggling to get a gift for my youngest niece who turned four last week. Her parents mentioned that she had her eye on Boppi the Booty Shakin’ Llama last week when she was in the toy shop, so we looked it up. It’s a robotic toy with white false fur topped with pink and blue hair which shakes its arse to three unique tunes. The people in the video thought it was hilarious and we can see why. We couldn’t wait for Millie to get it out of the box. Our first plan was to wait until the price drop at work started which wouldn’t be until the end of the month. But then I looked it up at Amazon which also had them in stock and were selling them cheaper than my staff discount price. So we ordered one which would be delivered the following evening. The most exciting part for me was that as the driver got closer, I could watch his position on a map through my smartphone. I was just a bit disappointed when a Mercedes saloon pulled up in front of my neighbour’s house, but he got the job done. He even had his girlfriend as an assistant.

Chinatown

We emerged out of the subway to find ourselves in Chinatown, where everything was moving at a fast pace. Amongst the hustle and bustle, we saw a lovely five-story pagoda but the only thing that ruined it was a Starbucks built into its ground floor. Once we’d rotated ourselves, we started heading towards the bus stop, which then became a sprint as we spotted one as it would be half an hour to the next one. We reached the door but Mum needed a few minutes to find her ticket but luckily they were letting quite a few people off. I had to explain to her that we were tied to a particular company with these tickets and that we couldn’t just get on any old tour bus. Our new guide was telling us quite a bit about life in New York and how hard and fast paced it was. He was quite entertaining and recommended not to eat the hot dogs and where to go for the best slice of pizza.  

Mouse Trap

To catch a mouse, you need a trap. I suggested that we get three or four and spread them around the house. Mum came back with two of the flimsiest products that I’d ever seen. They didn’t have any instructions on them or come in any packaging. Luckily, I found an instructional video on how to set up our little nipper. Once the food’s loaded onto the spike, you tilt the board at an angle and use the catch to stop the clasp from springing back and hope that your fingers don’t get in the way. Apparently it’s the fastest trap in the world. Next, we needed some bait. Mum decided to treat them to some BabyBel. Amazingly, they managed to get the cheese off the spike without tilting the trap. I decided that we needed something a bit stodgy, so I got some peanut butter. But that just sat there.  

From Underground to Overground

I’d worked out that we needed to get a 6 train but from there my confidence ended. The platform was quite busy for a Sunday but I asked a lovely transit lady where we needed to be and she told me, ‘Just get on the next train sweetie’. We did have to wait a good ten minutes before our train arrived; during which time Mum managed to spot a rat on the rails. When we got on, we managed to get a seat opposite each other but we still had to wait for a while and because of this the train began to fill up with standing passengers. A man sitting next to Mum started drawing something on his phone which she began to take an interest in. I hoped it wasn’t anything rude (she later told me it was a shoe). As we reached our stop, I realised I hadn’t looked up which exit we needed to take so in the end I just plain guessed.

The Germans are Coming

It’s hard when you get old. You have to try and learn a new trend when all you want to do is for everything to be the same. So when a speaker in your headphones break, all you want is the same thing. You don’t want to have to replace your equipment; you just want everything to be back up and running again as soon as possible. So after explaining to this old lady that we don’t repair them in store as it’s cheaper for her to buy a new one. I have to explain to her that we’re waiting for some more to come in. I tell her that it’s a Japanese company and we’re waiting for them to be shipped over. For some reason, she starts blaming the Germans. I know that they’re responsible for a war or two but how can Merkle be accountable for halting the transportation of this lady’s headphones? Go figure.

Back to the Island

The journey back was a bit more interesting as we’d picked up some bikers below us. As we docked, the logs of the old ferry terminal reminded me of the Giant’s Causeway. There was a bit of a wait to disembark as we had to let the bikes off first, though we did still manage to overtake some of them on foot and they crept back up on us by using the wrong footpaths. Our mission now was to get back to the bus stop which was a long walk away. I thought that the easiest route back would be to catch the subway. We found the entrance which consisted of a small garden shed with a turnstile inside; but we couldn’t see anywhere to buy tickets. We took a ten minute walk to a tourist information man who said in an annoyed but perfect Brooklyn Stan Lee accent that you had to get tickets from the machine. I said that we couldn’t see a machine and he said that it was on the other side. Sure enough, on our second attempt we walked around to the other side of the shed, and there it was. So we bought our tickets and prepared to enter the world’s most complex transit system.

Pride & Prejudice & Zombies (the movie)

Like many, I was disappointed with this film. Despite it being post-apocalyptic England, it was annoying that most characters seemed to attempt to carry on as if nothing had happened. It aimed to follow the book mostly to the letter to persuade the audience to adapt to Austen’s original tale; the only exception being Wickham’s outcome which seemed to be thrown in at the last minute. Most of the zombie scenes seemed to occur as a side-line and had very little contribution to the role of the plot. If you add this to the mid-credits closing scene; it feels like this screen time was cut and it’s a shame to not let zombie fans see the outcome of this scenario. It was a great idea but the execution wasn’t satisfactory. A bit more comedy gore could have been used alongside a look at the rest of English society during this siege.

Island Sights

As we left the terminal, we got a great view of Lower Manhattan. We also saw a cruise trip coming into port. What we didn’t get was any commentary but I suppose we could have found an audio guide if we tried. But our main objective was to get a selfie in front of the statue; a hard feat to achieve without a selfie stick and when you’re in motion. It’s another downside of taking public transportation; if we’d taken a tourist boat there would have probably been a stop for photo opportunities. But we did get some great shots of Ellis Island and the Manhattan skyline. Upon arrival, we wanted to remain on the ferry for the short journey back, but the crew were asking us to leave as they already had people queuing up to get on. However, we got off quick enough and managed to walk around to the back of the queue and get back on the same vessel anyway.

Trouble at the Door #devilsdaughter5

Sure enough, a knock was soon to be heard at the door. It started off quite timid at first as if in consideration for the people in the other rooms; not that they weren’t asleep anyway, then soon became a more confident thump. Lucinda wondered if this would be a timid fellow who had come to check out the noise or a more enforcing guard who had come to enforce the law. Whoever it was, she had to dispose of them without disturbing Luke. Using a plump pillow that was smaller than her left breast, she slowly eased it under Luke’s head, then lifted it to extract herself from underneath him. Then she lowered him gently back down to the remains of the bed, guiding her hand across his back as she did so. The last thing that she wanted at this point was for Luke to wake up, so she grabbed a towel robe that was hanging off the door and wrapped it around the top of her legs.

We are Sailing

The ferry terminal was quite modern. There were ticket booths on the ground floor, then you travelled upstairs to a central seating area while you waited for your gate to be called. As our ferry was free, we didn’t need a ticket to board. There were a number of concession stands in the walls, while the waterside gates didn’t offer much of a view while they were closed. We only had to wait half an hour for the next ferry, and as the time approached, a crowd begun to form in front of the suspected gate. As the seats weren’t reserved, we joined the crowd ready to walk on the instant that the gates opened so that we didn’t miss out. Unfortunately, all of the seating was towards the centre of the boat, but we did manage to get a standing spot on the starboard side of the boat by a window.

And on and on and on...

What would be the first thing to go wrong in your new car? Obviously, this would be a flawed question as you don’t know the people who have gone into the making of it. My old man had a brand new beamer from new that he sent back three times because of a manufacturing fault, and of course once you’ve registered for the car you’re stuck with it, chassis number and all; and it’s far easier for the dealer to get it repaired than take it back for a new one like you would with a broken kettle. But let’s say you’re lucky enough to be given a flawless model. My first bet would be the tyres. We’ve had a fiesta in the family from new and the first thing that went was the tyres. I’ve had the fluid changed over the years but only because the garage recommends you to which prevents something much more expensive going wrong in the long term.

Expedition to the Staten Island Ferry

We set off on foot once more, this time in the direction of the ferry. We briefly touched Wall Street but that didn’t interest Mum so we kept going as it was a long walk. We paused only to get a goofy picture of us posing next to a plastic model of the Statue of Liberty outside of a bakery. We passed a man in a tour uniform who was trying to sell us tickets to Liberty Island. The thing is that you can hitch a lift on the ferry for free as it sails past the island, but if you want to set foot on it then you need to take a tourist boat. As Mum was happy with just a sea view we carried on towards the ferry. We walked through Battery Park for Mum’s first glimpse of the statue, passing the Sea CArousel on the way, then we headed into the ferry terminal to see about our crossing.

Is the End of Democracy?

It seems so. It’s only an elite few who can elect our new Prime Minister. The rest of us have had to accept it, and the only other option was to write to persuade these privileged few to influence their vote. And now he’s suspended all rights to discussing Brexit with the belief that he can get it done with a deal. It’s a bold ambition, and we do need a deal. I feel that we do need to need Europe, but we need more time to prepare. We need to ensure that British manufacturing is capable of getting up and running again after being dormant for so long, and that’s certainly not going to happen overnight. What we need is more time to come up with a proper plan, and a month’s delay certainly isn’t going to achieve it, unless there’s something else that they’re not telling us. Perhaps they need more money to build that secret bunker. It’s certainly a dirty way to go about it.

Expedition to the World Trade Center

It’s our first full day of visiting New York. After a hearty breakfast, we meet our guide outside our hotel who has arranged tickets for a sightseeing bus. She hands out our passes then explains that a bike race is taking part in the city, preventing the bus from completing its usual circuit. Our goal for the day was to get a glimpse of the Statue of Liberty, calling in at Ground Zero on the way. The bus gets us as far as Canal Street, then we crossed fifteen blocks on foot to reach the World Trade Center, passing an amazing building that looked like it had been built out of glass Jenga blocks. We arrived in the square to see two gaping holes, of which the sound of the city’s hustle and bustle had been drained out by the roar of water falling into giant reflecting pools below, while the new Freedom Tower stretched up subtlety. A few people were ascending escalators into a nearby fancy building, and we asked a passing patrolman what was up there. His response was: ‘Why don’t you go and see’? Not convinced by his answer, we decided to move on.