Soccer

I’ve always wondered why they call it soccer. There’s a similar game called football where players just use their feet; it should be this one unquestionably as this makes sense whereas the other one involves dealing punishment to your opponents so you’re socking it to them! America would argue that soccer is an abbreviation of Association Football which is their version of the Football Association, but that makes it sound more of a society than an actual game. Even an idiot would argue that soccer is a game played with your socks, although you can roll your socks into a ball if you don’t have one. This ball wouldn’t be very dynamic, and you’d be better off throwing it, so football wins again in this sense. I don’t think I could stomach the full crowd of a full stadium in all its machoism without being tanked up a bit first. Is it the definitive that sets soccer in it’s a game for girls? Would they be better off wearing tights as they did with long socks? And whoever heard of soccim?