Filling Feuds

No-one really enjoys filling up. Once you’ve arrived, you’ve got to wait on the forecourt for a space that’s on the same side as your fuel cap. They say that the hoses are extra-long to allow you to use both sides but somehow it doesn’t quite make it unless you stretch it out at a weird angle and you can’t see the screen on the pump. So you wait in line hoping that you’ve picked the right lane and that the pump hasn’t ran out of the fuel that you want. Sometimes the lanes are wide enough to let you manoeuvre into pole position. At other times the rear vehicle will manoeuvre away and you pray that you can get your tank filled before someone comes up behind you and accuses you of hogging both pumps. At other times you’ve filled up and paid but you can’t get out because the occupants of the car in front of you are busy having a domestic.

"If you have the opportunity to help, then you have the responsibility to do it, do what is right simply because it is the right thing to do."

-Jennifer Lawrence.

Help is a funny old thing. Most of the time it’s someone that needs your assistance for a few minutes, but it can develop into deeper problems. Sometimes, helping isn’t really the best solution in the long run and you wish you’d never bothered or shirked the task onto someone else. Occasionally you might to get yourself out of it by delegating someone else so that you’re partially involved but you still manage to stay clear of the responsibility. And sometimes you just have to look the other way. If you spend your time giving change to everyone that crosses your path then it’s very difficult to achieve your own goals and people will just take the easiest route by taking advantage of you and not attempt to solve their problems themselves. You might feel a pang of guilt in denying someone your assistance but you also must remember that you’re not the only human on this planet. 

Park it Right

It sounds so simple. All you have to do is stop between the lines. You should know the width of your vehicle but do you know the width of the lines? If it’s quite an old car park the lines may be too narrow for today’s cars, so it’s important to be as central as possible unless you’re in the last space on the row. Sometimes parking centrally isn’t possible if there’s a car parked next to you. In this case, you need to allow space for the adjacent car to open its doors or at least make sure it’s not on the driver’s side so that the car can be repositioned to let passengers in. I quite like the spaces that don’t share lines so that issues like these don’t occur. And if you do leave your car in a tight spot, folding up your mirrors can create more room for your neighbouring motorists and decrease the chance of getting a dent in your door.

 

The Museum #dreamdiary 115

There’s this little museum at our college that everyone’s very proud of. It doesn't get much of a look-in in by the locals or attract many visitors, but it tells the history of the college and its achievements. It's usually at its busiest at the beginning of the term when students still have funds to pay the admission fee and are keen to find out more about their new home. Towards the end of the academic year, it's frequented by older and mature students who want to compare their achievements and reflect on their time here. It's hosted in an old house and the curator lives on the site. The odd thing is that it's hard to tell where the museum ends and his residential rooms begin. You might accidentally pass through a door that hasn't been locked or overhear something in passing from the other side of a display screen that acts as a party wall. The curator himself is something of a disliked campus character and students often take advantage of these security flaws to climb over and raid his home. After visiting the museum, students often like to watch the evening locomotive arrive where it’s said that it sometimes brings ghosts as visitors. Will you happen upon one tonight or is it just a drama student in Victorian dress?

Uptown Girl

Our dear colleague is finally departing. We only see her at weekends. I wonder how she ended up in our neck of the woods in the first place. She’s definitely got friends in the area as I’ve bumped into her out with them in the local curry house. She might even have preferred being in the company of females. She does sound a bit butch but that could be down to her accent and she’s friendly enough when spoken to and she’s always happy to answer any questions. But it’s a bit of a commute from her university to come and work for us every weekend after all. We didn’t really get a chance to give her the traditional send-off as she was already away and she only let us know through a messenger app. I wonder how classy her new life will be and if she’ll ever pop back in to see us.

 

Talking Back

It’s part of having a conversation. Sometimes it’s the polite thing to do. You might be seeking out someone’s opinion or look for reassurance that you’ve understood what they’ve said. But sometimes you just wish that it doesn’t happen as you just want to impart an instruction, comment, or give advice. Common courtesy dictates that you listen to what was said but you just want to get on with other tasks. Sometimes talking back can cause further conflict to the conversation if the wrong response is given or an insult is involved. At times it can be entertaining to listen to, especially if it’s a child and in other circumstances you’d struggle to keep a straight face. Some people just have to have the last word on the topic. It assures them of their dominance, even if it’s just a friendly parting comment. They may also say something contradictory when they think you’re out of earshot. But perhaps if you said the wrong thing but then spoke those exact words immediately backwards, the listener would automatically discard what you’ve said. 

Micromanagement

It’s the greatest convenience appliance of our age. You can buy a prepared meal supposedly designed by a chef then cooked in batchers and all the components are collated into an individual plastic tray. I’m sure that there are other things that it can be used for but I’ve not really dabbled. It probably involves studying the manual to learn all the different functions which no-one really needs to know. It might be handy to know how to defrost something to save some time but if you’re going to try and cook something at a low level of heat then you’re probably better off with a crock pot. All you really need to know is that metal is bad and if anything else goes wrong you can just unplug it and take the whole thing to the tip. But it must be a traditional one that goes ping for its comic effect. If there’s a series of beeps then you may as well still be at work. 

 

Mixbook

It was once again time to design a photobook and this time I let Google help me shop around for the best deal. The trouble with these programs is the fiddly design features. You can install their software but for a one-time purchase I decided to use the browser software. What I did find was that every time I went to change the photo’s view, I was actually moving the frame instead, and that there wasn’t an undo button to correct my mistake. I later discovered that was an easier way; but I only learnt this through an e-mail tutorial that they’d sent me a week after I’d placed my order. Another annoying feature was the fact that I could access a whole new range of stickers if I changed my photobook’s theme. Why not just have everything in the same place to begin with? This made no sense to me and I only discovered this afterwards when they decided to send me another e-mail tutorial. I suppose I could have watched the tutorials when I was designing it but I just wanted to get the job done. Finally, there was the despatch date. We’d be given an ETA with each delivery option and worked out that there was plenty of time to receive the photobook with the cheapest delivery option. What we weren’t told was that it would be arriving much quicker than expected. As no-one was at home it got sent to the local parcel office but fortunately this was only a stone’s throw from where I worked. But the job got done and it looks nice so I just hope she likes it. I may give Mixbook another go in the future. I wonder how the store options fare? 

Revenge of the Cage

These things are just full of hazards. The annoying thing is that they’re designed to transport stock but they’re not very practical when it comes to pulling or pushing them around. There’s no handles so you must make do with what’s in front of you. If the weight isn’t distributed easily it can be a real burden to steer and too much pressure on the front will either force the door open or cause the wheel to roll over your foot (it’s always a good idea to wear steel-capped bots by the way). Finally, if you push too hard to open the door when there’s some weight on it, you can be unlucky if the door slips and catches your skin. There’s also loose wire that can give you a quick graze or a deep gash if you put your hands on them without looking. You should really wear gloves to avoid all this and it’s always safer with two.  

 

Athletic Alex

He’s got a large nose and a face that’s nearly always clean-shaven. His ears fold back underneath a small turf of short brown hair. His hygiene is impeccable and he’s always wearing something that’s white and clean with socks to match. These are always on show with his habitual black shorts and black shoes. He’s fairly thin but his hobby puts his body in all the right places that the ladies admire. He likes to be seen behaving himself but if he does slip off early you’ll have to be observant to catch him. He makes friends by keeping active and on the move and always invites others to join him; whether it’s a game of footy of kicking a hacky sack around. Once he’s warmed up his body, his mind usually follows and he’s quite a friendly chap to chat to. His deep voice and northern accent makes him sound older than he is. 

Turtle Power!

Where’s this fellow off to? He’s actually blown his top. He’s supposed to come with a shell to help keep his insides dry. I wonder what the grip is like when it’s filled with water. The pattern looks nice but it also looks like something that a child could slip on when it’s wet. However, the pattern is part of the product’s primary purpose, which is to be used a sand pit. This explains why it comes with a lid in the first place; although it could be used to prevent a drowning situation should you have to leave the pool unattended. It is quite light when empty but it can easily be one of those things that just gets in the way. His flippers also act as seats, although when he’s lying down horizontally he does look more like a frog than a turtle. Amazingly, some people have even used it as a bath for their pet, although there are cheaper alternatives. 

Freeze Dancers

So I started this up wondering what it was. I had a vague idea that it was musical statues and I was right. The music began with no instructions what to do other than a stop which wasn’t random. There’s no familiarity to the tunes unless you’ve played before which is a shame. It even tells you to perform a certain dance while playing a completely different piece of music. I’m then asked who moved. Alexa doesn’t know these people and doesn’t repeat their names back either so I guess the only point of this is to name and shame these people in front of everyone else. The most novel aspect of this skill is the different actions that it does request you to perform. You can dance like a banana, pull a fish face, or rock your heart out. I suppose that it’s good for the little ones at parties though. 

Pole Dancers

 A simple object placed in a certain position can provide heaps of fun for the little ones while hanging around for the grown-ups. I love how the older one gets creative halfway through and decides to do her own thing and go the other way and let her sister duck underneath her arms. They certainly build up some speed before they change direction. I can’t see any adults doing this although the pole does look quite easy to push over. If people began to lean on it over a long period, how long would it take for the bar to be bent out of shape and stop supporting its load? I think the manager’s got the hint when he saw the whole pole and the decorative roof that it was attached to started to shake as he asked them to stop. Hopefully he’s had a re-think and got it replaced before any accidents occurred.

Christopher Robin

People say that nothing is impossible. But I do nothing every day.

This is a story about growing up while not forgetting those that you’ve left behind. Pooh is quite the anti-philosopher who’s very unwilling to learn or change his ways. But then he does admit that he has a small brain. I know that these characters have stood the test of time but in this film they’re portrayed as vastly decrepit with whiny voices and ragged fur. The film’s realism is lost when the animals come to London and the humans must deal with talking stuffed toys rather than the animals that I always depicted them to be. I would have liked to have seen a bit more of Owl and Rabbit. And it’s a particularly Disney moment when the Robins set out to look for their daughter in the middle of a major city. That said, it’s still a heart-warming story and there’s plenty of antics to keep both children and adults amused. 

Bouncing Around

Everyone loves to bounce. And if there’s a surface that will let you push harder to get you higher than you normally would without doing too much damage then it’s got to be good. I’m not sure about bouncing in a netted cage though. I don’t think it’ll do much to actually stop you if you were to put your full body weight on it. I think it’s more of a deterrent to train your mind to keep you central rather than act as a fence. But when there’s more than one person bouncing you’re all in close quarters so it’s a hard enough job to mind each other as well as the net. But if placed successfully, you can bounce off each other’s momentum and use it to go higher with a lot less effort. I’m not sure about those straps though. They’re designed to secure the exit but it could cause a panic if someone needed to get out in a hurry.

 

Chocolate side up or Chocolate side down?

I like to eat biscuits with the chocolate side up to let my teeth get stuck into it. I try not to bite too hard to avoid a loud crunch and distort any sudden pain. I like to let my teeth sink in slowly to pierce the coating. Once the biscuit has left my mouth, the edges of my teeth are slightly coated with chocolate stains that can be licked off after I’ve finished it. Of course, a dentist would prefer that you eat a biscuit with the chocolate facing your tongue and away from your teeth. This would protect them but if your tongue is moist then there’s a chance of the chocolate reacting to create a drool which would be particularly unpleasant if it’s the first bite of the biscuit which means that you’ll have to take the remainder back out of your mouth. Things could get a bit messy and embarrassing. 

Cup or Cone?

Cups are easier to hold and they’re more hygienic. But I prefer the cone. You get more food as the container is edible, although some places do charge more for this especially when there’s different types of cones. But whatever the size of it, you only need one hand to eat it unless it’s ridiculously large. Cones are also environmentally friendly as you don’t need a plastic spoon to eat them, although you may have to dispose of a soggy bit of tissue once you’ve finished. The major danger is the mess. A badly made cone or just one bite in the wrong place can cause the ice cream to drip down your shirt. An ill-placed scoop can also cause the whole thing to roll off onto the ground; particularly if you ask for more than one scoop on a one-scoop cone. Mind you, some people can make a mess out of anything. The choice is yours. 

 

Breakfast in the Dark #nuclearmermaid 20

As she slid around the space, she caught sight of a small section hidden at the end. It seemed that this was a storage area for where all the bipeds stored their food. In front was another glass shield containing cakes, and beyond this were more surfaces where she guessed more food could be prepared. With one smash of her tail, the shield became smithereens. When she turned herself back around again, she was able to pick the glass out of the cakes and throw them into her mouth. She felt her stomach raise a little, but these didn’t seem to have the same effect as digesting the biped. The rest of the food seemed to be sealed away, either in containers or wrapped in materials that looked like the clothes that the bipeds wore but slightly shinier. Suddenly, Jenny could hear chattering voices accompanied by footsteps and the whole room became brighter. 

The Vanishing Child

Suddenly, there was one. We’d been focusing too much attention on the one and not on the other. It’s awful to lose a child, especially when you’re put in charge of one for someone else. We had an inkling of where she was but we just couldn’t be sure. She’d left our sight. It turned out that she’d wandered a few feet away from the castle to take a breather and check out the view. But it did make us worried for a while. Anything could have happened on that hilltop, especially with exits in multiple directions surrounded by people that she wasn’t familiar with. Someone could have quite easily wandered off with her regardless or not of whether she was befriended. Or she could have felt free in the open and had decided to wander off by herself into the fields. And would anyone have seen anything and would be willing to help? Fortunately, that didn’t come to pass.

At the Movies #dreamdiary 114

We’re off to see the movies. For some odd reason in this odd day and age, we haven’t exactly decided what to see so we all arrive together instead of a pre-appointed time. I really want to see the new Pirates of the Caribbean Movie and there’s a poster of it in the foyer. When we arrive, the first thing that I suggest we do is go to the ticket office and decide what film to see. Instead, my friends fancy a game of pool. We wander down this tunnel that’s like a London underground connection but the walls are painted red with golden bricks and there’s neon glow sticks. We find a pool room with chequered tiles and I order drinks while my friends rack up the balls. Towards the end of the game, we get into a fight with a neighbouring table and leave. I suggest that we go and look at the times now so we know how much time we’ve got for the next activity, so we continue to follow the tunnel which leads into a room filled with pinball machines and all the multiball modes suddenly come active and ball bearings fly everywhere.

Straining Sunlight

Sunlight. Sometimes you just can’t get away from it. And a misplaced position totally ruins your pose. You’re standing there waiting for the photographer to press that that button and your face is straining. You’ve glanced over but for too long and your face is in tears. It looks like you’re crying rather than smiling. Everyone else carries on with posed grins but you’ll forever be pictured as the miserable one of the bunch. If only you were given fair warning of when the button was going to be pressed. Then you could have braced yourself for that single shot of sunlight in your face. And it’s hard enough to stay still while you wait for the photographer to do their framing. All you want to do is absorb yourself back into the natural flow of time. The alternative is to be prepared with a pair of sunglasses in your pocket. You never know when you’re going to have your picture taken. But will everyone see who you are?

 

How can I be an effective writer, writing about people's lives and their living standards, especially those living in rural areas that are so attached to cultures and traditions?

It’s an observation game. First, you need to say what you see. Get yourself over to those rural areas and take a look at what’s going on. What are these people wearing? What can you hear? What can you smell? Make some notes and have a guess what they’re up to. If you want to be effective, then you need to take the time to get real and get as close to them as possible. Perhaps you can take some pictures off-hand from a distance or film and record them without making the feel too comfortable. Try to pop into the local trading post or community gathering and talk to these people, sample the local produce and become their friend. Then they’ll be more than happy to talk to you about their lives. They may even let you help them out for a while to let you experience their problems first-hand. It’s all about spending some time there to do some research. Or if you’re lucky enough, you may be able to look them up on Google Street View I suppose. 

Arches

One thing with a structure like this is that it’s got lots of cover for a game of hide and seek. There’s lots of corners to conceal your view, walls to crouch behind and arches to hide under. If you run too fast without looking around every corner, you might just miss the person that you’re looking for. And f course, you’ve got no idea whether they’re upstairs, downstairs, or away from the castle completely hiding in the field. Being outside means that there’s no closed or prohibited places. The dark spots are only where the shadows lurk. You’re only limited to your imagination and what you dare yourself to do. And because you’re in a public place, there’s no reason why you can’t make friends who’ll want to join in and chase you too. It’s a great place to have an adventure and get some fresh air and healthy exercise at the same time.

 

"Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people, the ones who really belong in your life, will come to you and stay."

-Will Smith.

I don't think you'll get very far if you ask people to do something for you then spend ages waiting for them to complete the task. You could be waiting a long time and they could be stopping you from getting on. They could even be doing it on purpose. And it would be nice if you could do everything yourself and be totally independent, but sometimes you need the help of others. It could be to help you carry something or complete a task, or to construct something for you which would save you time; especially if you had to learn a new skillset just to complete one task. And no one’s going to come running out to you if they don't know that you're looking. It would be great if you didn't have to pressurise anyone, and you certainly shouldn't force anyone into doing anything against their will. But sometimes you must break an egg to make that omelette. 

Chinese Boxing

 What began as an innocent game of golf became a regular practice session for underground competitions. The very first glimpse of that black leather bag hanging from the ceiling just stirred something that needed to be destroyed. The way that it sways, even with the slightest touch; just becomes hypnotic. It becomes focused and everything surrounding it is a distraction. It must be moved at all cost and must never be allowed to stand still. Why is it here? What does it represent? How can it be got rid of? All these questions might be resolved with a physical push. At first, caution will be exercised to test the reaction of this new object in the environment. Then, once it’s established that resistance is minimal, more effort will be involved. Before long, the inquisitive mind will want nothing more than a desire to keep this invader as far from the body as possible. Training has started.

Getting into Trouble

No one wants to get into trouble. They want to get away with it. They want to have a bit of fun and not face the consequences, even if it's at the expense of others. Bart Simpson is always getting into trouble. He might be a maker of mischief, but is he truly a master if he is caught? Troublemakers start at school. It could just be a case of acting up or not having respect for your fellow man because you haven't been taught how to behave properly. And is it those who don't listen who go on to experiment with what they can and can't get away with, which results in brushes with the law? Is it a crime if the act hasn't been discovered? When the act is discovered much later, it makes it much harder to discover the culprit. Some people like being told off. They like to push people’s boundaries to discover what they can and can't do. Is an evil person always getting into trouble or is there some happy and cheeky element that lets them get away with it? Of course, you might get into a spot of trouble unintentionally. It might be a result of someone else’s actions.

Under the Sea

There’s something fishy going on here. And it’s not just the fish pinned to the floor. It’s the aquarium. It makes a nice touch, but it makes the rest of the hole look so tacky. What they need is some heavy Perspex so that the tank can be part of the course. But at least there’s a decent obstacle here. Putting the ball underneath the desk containing the seagulls gets you up and over the middle fence. After that, all that’s left to do is navigate around the rest of the tat. Maybe the fish should have been motorised. It could flip its tail like a pinball machine. Or perhaps the tank could squirt water onto the course if the player hit the ball into the flippers. It would certainly make the little ones freak out. They’re probably running out of ideas and funds. Ah well, at least it’s a day out.

 

Tray Time

Isn’t it the dream to just eat dinner in front of the TV? The world isn’t really equipped for this. You’d either have a high table with wobbly legs or you’d squat on the floor in front of a low table where you can’t really get comfy. This tray comes with a cushion of beads which allows you to balance your meal right in your lap! There’s also a wooden rim so that your cutlery won’t roll off your tray and onto your clothes should you feel the need to set it down. It’s patterned with robins so I think it was suited to a Christmas theme and it was in the clearance sale but we get robins in our garden all year round and it’s Mum’s favourite bird which made it an ideal present for her. Now all she has to do is not spill her meal on the upholstery.  

Foxy Boxing

This looks like a very strange hole for a golf course and doesn't look particularly imaginative. It looks like there's only one obstacle to work your ball around and everything else is decorative. I can't remember if the punch bag swung or if it was fixed. But there's two girls in the ring that might be ready to fight. We all know that girls fight differently to boys. They tend to use what's around them to their advantage rather than use beefy muscles and fists. Just let them keep their gloves off and let everything hang loose, though if they were older we’d want to see everything tight before the start to show off their figures. There's long nails that can be used for scratching and there’s hair to pull, and the longer the better. Throw in some mud so that they can slip and slide over each other and throw it in their opponent’s eyes if they need a distraction. It's probably not a good idea to arm these two with golf clubs when they're arguing though.

 

Man in Black

He’s going for that mod-rocker look, even though his behaviour is not. There’s a large round face with thin lips, large folded-back unpierced ears and short hair. Sometimes there’s a beard. It depends on what the season is. I suppose it keeps him warm. Blue or black jeans are his trademark followed by a plain coloured t-shirt, although if he’s been to a lecture he wears a formal buttoned dress shirt for sake of uniformed attire. Then there’s the jacket. If it’s a school day it’s a light brown synthetic leather jacket, and for a casual day it’s a black one complete with shiny buttons on the shoulders. Then to complete the look he sports a large pair of pilot’s sunglasses. He’s one of those people that is happy to hear of the misfortunes of others and always takes an interest in what’s happening but somehow he’s never the one to start the gossip. I suppose he could be described as a gentleman in disguise.

The Sound of Drums

Just how many people complete this hole with one shot? It’s impossible. It must also be awfully expensive. It’s not just the drum skins that must need replacing, it’s the number of shrapnel that bounces off them and hits god knows what else in the room. I also vaguely remember a set of cymbals just at the end of the hole, though that could be my wishful thinking at this stage. So what’s the best strategy? Do you go for one drum or try to hit it off each one in succession; bearing in mind that they’re not an equal distance and they’re not angled to hit the next one? And of course, there’ll be someone out there who’ll be determined to do it one shot, no matter how many attempts it takes. After all, it could be the make or break shot of the game. You should get a drum roll for every attempt regardless of whether you’re successful.