The robots are on the Phones

The timewasters have got another weapon on their hands. Just when you think you’ve got some great response to the spam callers asking for your details, they go one step further and bring their robots into the game. They’re polite robots and they even say pardon, but if you listen carefully you can hear their pre-recorded voice. They also rush through the script a little bit to make them sound more human, but the most obvious giveaway is when they give a response which isn’t in sync with your reaction. Not everyone can tell the difference, but there is a thing of beauty in this. You can swear at the phone as much as you bloody well like, and you know you’re not offending anybody because Mrs. Robot doesn’t care. You might even play with them to see how long you can get them to stay on the line for. But then again, it’s still a waste of your time.

Hydes First Frost at the Rising Sun, Redditch

You know it’s the first sign open the curtains to see frost on the rooftops of the houses opposite you. Actually, I have blinds and for some reason I walk into the bedroom opposite and open those curtains to see how frosty it is outside. It’s mainly because the car’s kept on that side of the house so I can get an idea if I must force myself to go a bit faster that morning as I need to allow time to de-ice the windscreen. If the weather’s gotten worse, I can make a quick assessment of the roads before deciding whether to drive out. Nowadays, I keep my car in the garage if I remember. It’s so snug to drive out with a clear windscreen while all the neighbours scrape, spray and pour away. The only disadvantage is having to put the car in and out as it uses more fuel each time.

From School to Shops #dreamdiary67

I’m at a new school and I’ve just arrived at my registration class. It’s time to go assembly but my form tutor still hasn’t arrived. As class team leader I feel that I should lead the way but there’s no register to take and I don’t know the way to the assembly hall. I decide to scout out which way to go and leave my class behind on their own. With any luck, the form tutor will have arrived by the time I get back.  I walk out into the corridor and find myself in an upmarket shopping centre with exposed tiled brick on the walls and archways decorated with marble columns. I follow some steps outside the shopping centre and decide to go in through the main entrance to look for a floor guide. I head towards a roadside roundabout with a McDonalds on the opposite side and enter an underpass system.

Delivering the Deal

It’s just crazy where our stuff comes from lately. It might only be manufactured in the next town, but to get it to your local shop it must be delivered from much further afield to a distribution centre before it can be sent to the shelves. That’s because every little process has been farmed out to another company to look after; which in theory bumps up the price and makes each item that little more expensive. Then the distribution company comes along which arranges a bulk discount which it keeps for itself. It saves the factories from having to arrange shipping for its customers and allows them to reach a wider range of customers. But this mass shipping often means that items are mixed together for the deliveries; making items more likely to be damaged along the way. The distributor then simply asks for the stock to be replaced; which simply generates more items of less value.

What will be some First World Problems in 2050?

Who can predict what happens in thirty years’ time? Will there be a population crisis as healthcare improves and people start to live longer? Will our streets be overcrowded with food rioters willing to start World War Three just to get fed? Perhaps the traditional First World will get broken down as countries have to use their military might to secure resources from other parts of the world and others undergo a change of occupancy. Climate is also a factor as the earth continues to get warmer. Will there be weather wars for territories that experience fewer natural disasters? Will some countries leave the first world after exporting all their businesses to other countries? And will other countries enter it after amassing a wealth of resources? Will we have to change the definition of a First World because we will all be too busy immigrating from country to country? Or will the robots make all the decisions for us?

Time to Jump Ship

I’ve been invited to attend a training course which focuses on management skills and developing your confidence. I had to travel to Worcester to make a ten-minute presentation to a tutor that I’d only written a couple of hours before. Then it was a quick dash to make sure I’d get there in time. Unfortunately, there was a side plot asking me to attend an hour earlier but I was still devising my presentation at the time so I decided to ignore the message. A faux pas maybe? But I did manage to arrive a good fifteen minutes earlier, and spent the next hour talking to my tutor about my daily work life and how I thought I could benefit from his course. But it was not to be. I was told that he didn’t feel confident enough for me to complete the course. So if they decide not to show an interest in me, why should I continue to show an interest in them?

Best Laid Plans

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant." -Robert Louis Stevenson

You may not get your reward instantly, but you must set the wheels in motion. That’s why some tasks are just too difficult for some people to complete as the rewards won’t be received for many years to come. It’s what hard work is all about. These days though, people want instant results. They want their rewards now and don’t like to wait. Either that or they’re very forgetful. But you also must bear in mind that some seeds won’t sprout, and you must be prepared for that too. So, a detailed plan is required from the very beginning, even before you lay your first seed. If you don’t anticipate what you need to become successful, then you’re going to need a lot of luck on your side. A successful day is a planned day rather than a day that you receive everything. Unless you’re really, really lucky.

The Wish List by Eoin Colfer

The Wish List by Eoin Colfer
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This short story about life and death is kind of a teen to adult level of Harry Potter without all the wizards and magic and stuff. There’s a great sense of realism with an expectant imagination as the characters try to re-interact with everyday life. There are also some great ideas of how the afterlife works; though I doubt very much that the custodians of each realm interact with other on a regular basis. It’s a shame that Coin didn’t give greater focus to the demons and mites and give them greater roles as antagonists, or least have a bit more interaction with the protagonists along the way. And I thought that Meg could have done with a bit more of an introduction. But what the book does teach is forgiveness while at the same time offers a sense of justice, together with a side dose of last regrets, hopes and dreams. There also some great use of puns. Not many books can do that.

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Our Survey Says...

I’m recently getting a lot of e-mails asking me to do surveys. Specifically, they’re for things that I haven’t done yet. Although I’ve shown interest in their product and have made a reservation to purchase their product or service, I haven’t physically gone through and shown them the money. Next thing you know, I get an e-mail asking me for an opinion of their service. So, because I haven’t used it, I decide to give the worst answers possible to really make them think what they’re doing; unless of course there’s an instant material gain from completing the survey. If that’s the case, I complete it to the best of my ability to gain the prize. But more and more companies are being careless in what they’re sending out. They’re reaching out to everyone rather than just the odd individual. And that makes it even more fun for us to take advantage of them.

Safety Woes

We’ve been given a new task at work from the people up high. Because one idiot has had an accident, we’re not allowed to store anything taller than four feet on the bottom shelf of our first-floor mezzanine. We have racking that goes through the floor from the floor below, and we have floorboards which acts as our ground, but the racking alongside it is just normal shelving. And just because one person has stepped fully inside to get an item, he got injured and the rest of us must change our whole floor accordingly. What a waste of time. We don’t train people to climb the racking, so why can’t we just train people not to step inside the racking? That would save a whole lot of bother. But the company has decided that they don’t trust us to do this, so we must do this right in the middle of our large delivery period when space is at its tightest.

A New Pet #dreamdiary66

I’ve got a new pet! I’m not exactly sure what it is, but I keep it in the garage. It’s kind of like a bald biped dog with a big head, large eyes, and wears a suit. It can stand on two legs, but when it goes outdoors it prefers to crawl on its hand and knees. It’s a spitting image of the tenth Doctor when the master ages him using his laser screwdriver. There’s no cage. Instead there’s a wicker basket and some blankets on the ground. I ask my brother to keep an eye on it while I’m away. Naturally, he wants to know what it is and what to do. All that’s required is to check that he’s back home after dark and that the garage door is locked and throw him the odd treat. Then in the morning all he needs to do is to let it out for the day and it’ll go out and fend for itself.

Marvellous Millie

Millie is an amazing and beautiful little girl. Aside from being cuddly and cute and three years old, she also had to undergo an operation to widen of the valves to her heart. She only went for a scan at the hospital and the news came back later in the day that she had to be taken in for her operation three days later. Of course, we were all worried sick while she was under the knife; but Millie was too young to understand what was going to happen. And after the operation she woke up a little tired but was still happy enough to sit up and eat some breakfast. She was even quite proud of her battle wounds which will probably heal up in next to no time. It just goes to show how tough you can be when you’re three and you’ve got to look up to a big sister.

Spelling

Spelling doesn’t seem important in today’s modern world. When you’re writing something, you can just press a button and allow the computer to do all the work for you. Yet it’s amazing to see how many people publish their documents without taking the time to do this. So many memos have gone out with the omittance of simple words that take their instructions into doubt merely because the author hasn’t taken the effort to check their work. But even when the check’s done, there’s always a word that the computer reads as legible but makes no common sense within the context of the document. It only takes a quick check to realise that you’ve written something incomprehensible by reading it through afterwards. And it really annoys that these people have the power to dictate what we should do yet they haven’t taken the time or detail to complete the task themselves.

Blue Bell Brew House Trident at the Blue Bell Cider House, Warings Green

I was a bit disappointed with this venue. I’d pictured it to be an old converted country cottage. Instead we drew up at this great bricked up building alongside a country road. Inside, the front room had been done out like a large working men’s social club with rows of tables and chairs. A long bar led up the side, while at the back was one man struggling to serve the whole bar. I was also hoping for a bigger range of beers but I could only see three available. Towards the back was more traditional. A large room opened out and served as a gateway between the kitchen, conveniences and a door to an outside patio garden which ran alongside the canal. Of course, a November evening wouldn’t be the best time of year to appreciate this facility and perhaps another visit in the warmer months might do the pub some justice.

Focus!

"It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light." -Aristotle Onassis

It’s very easy to become distracted in today’s modern world. Even when you’re typing, there’s always some sort of noise that will pop up immediately demanding your attention to halt your task. But you’ll never get it done unless you sit down and see the task through. However grim the task looks, surely it’ll feel better when it’s over, and you can bask in the knowledge of a task completed. But by allowing yourself to be distracted, it’ll only take longer to complete the task, or it may not be performed at all. You’ve got to ask yourself how will you accomplish a task? What will get you motivated to see it through? What will stop you from mellowing over doing it and actually convince you to stir to action? Can you give yourself a reward at the end? Can you be disciplined enough to see it through by focusing on how the task will make things better?

Golden Duck Rev Green at the Old Moseley Arms, Balsall Heath

This pub is hidden away from the hustle and bustle of a main town road, and can found in a small quiet, cul de sac. Its bricked terraced walls and wood-framed windows blends in well with the rest of the street. Because of that, it’s the hub of the community. That said, there’s not much room for lounge chat. A wooden horseshoe bar divides the front room into two identical lounges, neither of which offers much in the way of lounge seating. The rear folds out into a few smaller booths which are used to serve up excellent Indian food that the pub provides. Beyond this is a private room which acts as a lounge, though it’s quite a way from the main bar. There’s also a comfy courtyard outside. Beers are usually from West Midland breweries and a beer festival is held once a year in the outside courtyard.

New Shoes

It was time for a new pair of toe-capped boots. I’ve had my current pair for about five years, but the boot was starting to come away from the sole, and underneath the hole was getting bigger. I asked the boss for a new pair but that would set me back twenty pounds. I then toyed with the idea of popping off to the flea market in Birmingham, but that would take time. Instead, I chose the convenient option of ordering them off the internet and having them delivered to the workplace. They looked pretty smart and arrived fast and there was even a spare shoelace. But of course, I didn’t have the option of trying them on first. Just like my old boots, my feet began to rub into them. So once again, I have to go through another phase of blistery feet while I get used to them.

Bathams Best Bitter at the Vine, Brierley Hill

This pub is hallowed ground. It’s here that one of the Midlands’ most famous beers was first brewed. Don’t let the bright yellow walls put you off; it a genuine atmosphere inside with lots of little rooms to sample. The bar is a simple saloon with a great range of hot snacks, though it only serves two real ales (or three at Christmas if you’re quick enough). The beer here is as cheap and as fresh as you can get it on the planet, though you may have a bit of a wait if there’s a crowd in. In the back is a long corridor with small rooms leading off into other private parlours. In the front room is a large lounge divided into two by a partition and plenty of brewery memorabilia adorns the walls. It’s certainly used as a lounge as many locals like to prop up the larger tables by perusing the day’s news alongside a pint.

Misplaced Management

It’s a busy pub. There’s a wait of three deep at the bar and everyone is shouting their order across the counter to a young skinny blond girl. To the rear is a huge stack of glasses waiting to be washed, while on the other side people are hammering on the swing door to the kitchen demanding attention.

‘Captain? Captain? I could do with a hand. We’re really busy.’

‘Busy?! BUSY?! Were the frogs yelling and screaming at me with pieces of paper demanding plates of snails and chardonnay? No. They were firing bullets left right and centre with cutlasses swishing and swooshing demanding my blood, and did I get a hand? No. I was ducking and diving for cover, dodging every bullet, parrying off every thrust that came my way, and I still live to tell the tale. So if you can’t fence off a couple of punters craving a pint, then get out of the kitchen.’

Thornbridge Wild Swan at the Jolly Crispin, Upper Gornal

A flock of swans generally keep to themselves. They’ll hang around in small groups, separating only to grab the nearest piece of food. But occasionally you’ll spot a swan that’s gone solo. Separated from its peers, it wanders the waters alone, though often it hangs out with smaller water fowl to make it look like king of the duck pond. You can almost picture it wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket by the way it struts. It’s more likely to be spotted in manmade water features than natural rivers as the pickings are better. Sometimes it leads its gang like groupies who worship the one with the master plan to get fed. In earlier times it must watch the groups to see who he must eliminate or influence to become the new leader. But in truth, it’s abandoned the ways of its fellows and it’s going it alone.

Let's All do the Hop #dreamdiary65

There’s three of us standing at the bus stop waiting to board a double decker bus for a tour of Stratford-upon-Avon. The sun isn’t out; it’s actually quite dark and grey; but you can’t pick the weather when you decide to do these things. But Maz has still got her sun hat on. It’s a hop on and hop off tour. In front of us are two buses, both of which are due to visit the same destinations, and I’m not sure which bus to catch. I’m trying to remember which bus runs the most frequent which will reduce our time spent waiting at bus stops. There’s also a debate about which is the cheapest but the group is happy to go with my recommendation since I’m the local guide. We hobble up to the top deck and take our seats near the back. The next question is where to get off? Do we go all the way round and have a full tour first or do we hop off at the first attraction that excites us?

Brewers of Epic Ales

As part of our visit, we were treated to a tour of the brewery, or at least as much as we could see while sticking our heads through the door of an open shed. We were met at the back of the pub by Head Brewer Simon who told us about the history of the brewery while cracking open a few bottles for us to sample. There were a couple of tables on a decked area with a wooden roof and a very thick shed door. Beyond this was the kettle and the fermenter where the action takes place, in front of a desk crammed with bottles. They also do story nights where they tell tall tales of folklore about Dwarfs and their beers. I ended up taking away a few of the Christmas beers; a nicely spiced strong ale which raises hairs on your chest rather than on your face like Simon’s beard. Though I suppose that everyone has a different reaction.

The Incredibles 2

This film was too predictable. You could spot the protagonist right from the start. There was also too much misery from the children; all they seemed to do was whine which made them very annoying characters. That said, her powers and the methods in which she operated were quite novel, and it really makes you think about how much time we spend staring at screens in our lives. I didn’t think that the comedy between the family in their downtime worked when they battled to sort out their everyday lives. It was great to see a novel cast of secondary characters with interesting powers. The moments with Jack-Jack were just too cute, and it was a shame that he didn’t adopt his protagonist as a pet. Overall, the film carries over too much from its prequel and there isn’t really anything new here. I think it would have been more interesting if they focus was solely on the children’s lives rather than the mother; which would have made the movie less repetitive.

Essential Istanbul by Sylvie Franquet & Anthony Smith

Essential Istanbul by Sylvie Franquet
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

As travel guides go, this isn’t bad. It lists all the major attractions together with some information about their history. But a lot has happened since then. What the guide doesn’t do is go into the geographical scale of the city. There’s very little detail about getting around from place to place, and rather than dividing the city up into districts it simply provides lists and information about the attractions. As it’s an AA guide, it does go into driving routes around the city but doesn’t comment about the other methods available. When it comes to night life, there’s lots of information about specific places but it doesn’t go into detail about the areas or display maps that they’re in. this book might be great if you spot it at a car boot sale to get a flavour of the city’s history, but I’d highly recommend something much more up to date if you’re looking for information to rely on.

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The Quest for Colouring Books

The humble colouring book. It keeps kids occupied for whole minutes. But now there’s a new craze; magic painting. All you need is a paintbrush and some water. Simply apply your paintbrush with water to the page and the printed image fills with colour. It’s just lazy painting if you ask me, and the colours that do appear are quite faded, but the kids love em and they don’t make as much mess as regular paints. So it was my job to source some more. I looked in supermarkets and bookshops and toy shops and discount stores but we couldn’t find them anywhere, so we resorted to the internet and had them sent through the post. The pictures aren’t exactly exciting; they’re just themes of things that you might see on a day out such as a boat or a zoo animal. I wander what their criteria is when deciding on which picture to publish.

Fownes Crispin's Ommer at the Jolly Crispin, Upper Gornal

This pub is set on the hillside of beautiful Upper Gornal. There’s a regular bus service from Sedgley and you can do a great tour of Black Country pubs by bus. In previous visits, the pub’s beer garden overlooked the rest of the valley, but this year the view has been spoiled because of houses being built below. Inside, the pub has a large lounge with a traditional log fire and a back room which also acts as a restaurant and there’s a corridor with facilities linking the two, while the bar sits in the middle serving both rooms. The only trouble here is the slow service as there’s usually just the one member of staff. Beers are usually from local brewers and are on display on a chalk board. I always like to look at the pump clips though as you’ve got a better chance of recognising whether you’ve had the beer or not, and it’s more up to date than the chalk board too. There’s also a brewery that’s behind the pub and we got to visit this on our most recent visit.

A New Taste of India

We tried a new Indian restaurant today on a recommendation from our friends. They told us that a set menu was available of a starter, main, dessert and drink for under £12; and we could also take our own drinks. We arrived and got a table next to the window and the waiter quickly dispatched some poppadums but never offered to open our drinks for us or supply the correct vessels. We also weren’t told about the set menu and had to ask for it. Once we established that we could get the deal, I ordered a sheek kebab. It was a bit tougher than what we usually have and lacked a marinated flavour; but we were paying a cheaper price. It was well presented with dribbles of sauce on the plate; though the accompanying salad was warm. Next up was a Kashi Dali which was presented in a giant bowl. It certainly was filling; though again the meat was a bit tough. Then dessert came which was a slice of dry chocolate cake; though there were sweets in bowls as an alternative. Not the most authentic of Indian meals, but it made for a nice cost effective change.

Backyard Antipodean at the Bishop Vesey, Boldmere

This was a delightful little Wetherspoons that we visited on our way into the Black Country. It was a modern pub that was quite cosy and had lots of little snugs and lounges. We grabbed a table and ordered breakfast through the app to avoid the queues. Others questioned our methods but it gave us more time to relax and plan the rest of the trip while we waited. We weren’t sure how they would bring out the tea but they just brought the mug and pointed us in the direction of the self-service machine. Despite this, the staff were very happy and efficient in their service and were pleasant to talk to. After our nosh we decided to try the beer. It was a bit of a strong one for our first drink of the day but it was the only beer that I hadn’t tried before and it was very refreshing.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions...

"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity." -Amelia Earhart

What should you do? That’s the question that many of us face every day when deciding what to do with our spare time. How will the day best be spent? For some people, there’s not much choice. But when you do have some spare time; how do ensure that you are making the best decision? Do you do those niggling little jobs that you’ve been put off? Or do you relax and save them for another time for when they really matter, and they must be done? The trouble is that you need to have a sense of how long a task will take and whether you have the energy to complete it. If you change your decision, then you know that you’re in trouble. But it’s the deciding that takes up most of my time. When you commit to doing the task without putting it off, then you know that you’ve made the right choice. Make your decision and stick to it.

Derby Brewing Company Business As Usual at the Weighbridge, Alvechurch

I sometimes wonder if landlords hold a grudge over me. Hopefully it’s just paranoia. I’m someone that they must know to retain links and be of reputable standing in our beer society. It’s not as if I’m a regular in their pub, or attend their special events, or go there on a regular basis, even though I do my best to attend. Honestly, I’d love to be a loyal local, but I’d just be bored. Not everyone is friendly each and every time you visit a pub. I also like to move around to find out the best number of guest beers. Likewise, I don’t expect special treatment. I’m happy just to be treated as a normal customer and don’t expect everything to stop just because I ask a question. It is nice to get special treatment but then I think that I should repay the favour in turn somehow.

A Social Swim #dreamdiary 64

I’m being looked after by a social worker. I don’t really know why the state has suddenly decided that I need to be looked after. The social worker has suggested that we go swimming and that I meet up with my friends there. We set off in her car which is a small brown fiat and there’s not much room in it. We pull up at a car park behind a pool. I explain that we’re at the wrong pool and that the pool that I regularly go to is much bigger. The social worker explains that we’re here because the car parking here is much cheaper. We go in and the pool is tiny. It’s literally a ten-foot square in the ground. Even though I can swim and swim regularly, the social worker insists that I try and paddle towards her. There’s a group of people standing at the edge waiting to go in. I just shrug and do what I’m told.