Must be the reason why I'm King of My Castle

It’s an impressive mound. The moat instantly alerts her to the sound of any intruders as they’ll have to work their way through the water first. She can also focus on the sound of any grass or twigs rustling, though it may be too late by then. The cygnets might also restrict how she can turn or lean forward to defend herself, but at least she’ll see the attack coming. The height also gives her an added advantage for a dive defence. How quiet can an intruder be? They’ll certainly have to get wet. The majority of the water is behind her so she can focus on spotting shorter attacks from the land. Here she’ll just have to lean forward to deliver a hefty peck, causing the invader to lose their footing and falling down the mound into the water. She does look very comfortable and holed up, though she’ll have to leave sometime to obtain food.

Blonde Barb

She’s a classic bimbo, complete with dangly earrings and all the trimmings, with short flat hair. Slightly tanned, she doesn’t seem to work hard at anything. She’s not afraid to whack on the lipstick. She typically enjoys bright plain coloured clothes rather than anything branded, then accessorises what’s on show with a bit of bling. She wants to enjoy life but doesn’t necessarily want to share that experience with others unless it’s in the family circle. She likes to make a bit of a show of herself with a red convertible but it’s only put to use around the town. She’s always on the hunt for a bargain, and will choose quantity over quality every time. She refuses to learn anything and always asks others to complete tasks for her. She talks in an annoying but slow clear loud voice which can even be heard when whispering. She’s always managed to see herself kept and looked after.

Enjoying the Trip

There’s an awkward step onto the vehicle that I drive. There’s quite a bit of height to enter the vehicle. On the side door, there’s a small step just before the cargo hold but if you’re not used to it you could trip and tumble over into the van. On the rear there’s a step just before the door, but it can get slippery when wet. It also doesn’t help that sometimes I drive different vehicles which have different heights and therefore there’s things in place or missing at times that make me misplace my foot, especially when I get used to a certain height. Exiting the vehicle can also cause an issue, and sometimes I land on the ground quite hard or collapse if I exit at speed without thinking. When I change vehicles to my regular car afterwards, it feels like I’m sinking in. I’ve really got to look where I step.

Letby Letdown

It’s a terrible shame that someone that looks so innocent and trusting has been found guilty of murdering seven babies. It’s taken time to get this resolved so that conclusive evidence can be gathered and not lead any mishap to account. Of course the individual should face the full extent of the law. But the shocking thing about it is how the system has allowed this former nurse to continue practising after not one but seven incidents. Where’s the accountability? It just looks as if no-one cares, especially Letby who managed to avoid being present during her sentencing. It’s as close to a public shaming session that our courts will allow, and now we’ll have to hope other criminals do it for us. Of course, for her safety, there’s always the option of changing her name once she’s admitted, but she may still be recognisable. And it’s incidents like this that force people to be more protective as they place less trust in institutions.

The Long Game

 Another classy area. It’s clearly not designed for large vehicles to come visiting to supply things, so finding a spot to turn around and much less put the van safely into a parking position can be a bit of a nightmare when there’s lots of parked cars around. Then you’ve got to work out the number system of the houses and find out where you’re actually going. It’s not a problem if you’ve got just one or two small items, but if you’ve got any large items it’s best to have a look around on foot before you do any heavy lifting. And one you return with the items; you’ve got to hope that they’re in so that you return emptyhanded as it would be a bit unprofessional to keep them waiting at the doorstep. But you never know. You might find an opportunity to park a bit closer. They might even come out to you but that creates a whole separate identity issue…

Indoor Snow

If you can’t have a white Christmas then what’s the next best thing? A plastic tub full of giant white cotton balls that you can use as snowballs! As well as making a great effect when entering a room, they’re of course great fun to throw at people with very little risk of getting hurt. It might be a bit different for any surrounding objects though. Structurally, they’re quite pleasing. They’re compact and don’t have any signs of fraying, and they’re satisfying to squeeze, just like a stress ball. There’s a small bit of weight to make e them heavy enough to soar through the air. And when the light shines on them, there’s a small shine as if they’re depicting real tiny ice crystals. You’re probably not going to find them all once your guests have gone home until about six months afterwards though, and that’s only if your guests are honest.

The Proof is in the Bag

 As I have no device to record the delivery of these items, I had to use my own phone to record which items were successfully delivered. It would have looked better if I had placed the items upon the doorstep, but at least my phone also recorded the location of where these photographs were taken. But what I couldn’t account for was the contents inside that scrunched up bag that’s been rattling along in the back of a van and it’s probably had a smoother transit on its journey into the country. The issue could arise from any number of points from the packing process at the manufacturer and at the depot, and all the shipping points in between. I’ve got no idea if there’s any parts missing or if there’s a completely different item inside altogether. And if a customer detains me to check, there’s very little that I can do other than take it back for them.