Marston's New World Pale Ale at the Old Tramway Inn, Stratford upon Avon

I was looking forward to a weekend pint after my late work shift; and decided that it would be a great opportunity to seek out the Cask Marque scan at the Old Tramway Inn, a lovely pub at the other side of the river. Sadly, it was dark when I arrived; and there was also a wedding in the beer garden which robbed me of the opportunity to explore it; so I ventured inside he main bar. It was a popular pub and most of the tables were occupied; so I headed straight for the bar and quickly made up my mind to have a pint of Marston’s New World; a pale ale which is usually a good thirst quencher while only very slightly over the legal limit for drivers. As I took the thirst sip, I could already tell that his barrel hadn't been sold for a while; as the slight undertones of vinegar set in. I therefore resolved to sit in the front beer garden on the sole bench away from prying eyes as this was clearly a dining with friends pub rather than be inviting to interact with others. Very disappointing. 

Steak and Swan

Based in Leominster, the Swan Brewery began brewing earlier this year, and is led by brewer Jimmy

Swan and his partner Gill. Jimmy has over twenty years’ experience from being a former brewer at Wye Valley, and within this ten-barrel pant he aims to brew classic beer styles complemented by New World or Czech Republic varieties.

Jimmy didn’t just name the beer after himself; he was actually inspired by watching a swan swimming on the river Wye and all the beers are swan-themed. Their first beer was Swan Gold, a 4% golden ale with Admiral and Saaz hops which delivers a floral and herbal aroma with a zesty taste. They’ve since increased the range to five beers, including Cygneture Ale, Swan on the Wye, and Arm Breaker; a 6% Indian pale ale which is deep golden in colour and uses crystal grains.

With a taste for local food and drink, Swan Brewery have teamed up with a local butcher produce a magnificent Steak and Swan pie.  Butcher Richard Jones at Quarry Farm Shop uses only Swan Ale in his steak and ale pies, and says that his customers love the novel idea of demonstrating that’s it’s not just the Queen who’s allowed to eat swans!

You can find out more about the Swan Brewery online at www.swanbrewery.co.uk.

Brexit Boris

And now Boris Johnson has somehow ended up as the Foreign Secretary. How has this happened? It’s like asking Hitler to do the catering at a bar mitzvah. We’re sending a giant monkey in a suit over to other countries to attempt to communicate with them; all after a good long lie-in having missed the flight due to a hangover and arrives in a badly pressed suit and bed-hair. Or are they hoping that the time gap won't make much difference? I wonder if he realises not everyone in the world serves roast veal. And what about translators- will he need two of them? One to translate the Boris boomspeak voice and another to do the actual translating? And just on simple insult of a local custom could start a war quite by accident. Surely he’ll do much better remaining on the panel of Have I Got News For You? Or maybe it’s part of a government conspiracy to give up on all other countries and re-establish the British Empire by sending a Tory Gorilla. 

Big Queen Vic

Liverpool is just full of hidden treasurers. While wondering around trying to find our next pub, we wondered into a square containing an awe-inspiring giant monument in tribute to Queen Victoria. The open dome features a fourteen-foot statue on a pedestal holding a sceptre. Hiding just behind the monument on the other side of a very thin line of trees is the Queen Elizabeth Law Courts; a strange name considering the monument was there first. I suppose the stern gaze of Victoria causes many modern-day offenders to reflect on their crimes and compare their sentence to Victorian times and how lightly they’ve escaped the gallows. It’s also strange that the square was named Derby Square; surely Castle Square would have been a much more suited name since that was the site of Liverpool’s castle. Unfortunately my friend wasn’t impressed; so I didn’t have much time to explore or reflect upon the irony. 

Roadside Ramifications #dreamdiary8

I was driving on a duel carriageway, and was approaching a roundabout and needed the left lane. Unfortunately, there was traffic ahead, and the car in front was taking up both lanes as he’d occupied the wrong one. This meant that his car flew up into the air as I hit his left side front tyre, then came back down to Earth on the carriageway. I got out to check the damage, and the driver was unconscious. I got out my phone to call for help and dialled 999 but for some reason I couldn’t get through. A crowd gathered around me to help, and I had to ask someone else to dial for an ambulance. Luckily his passenger was conscious and unscathed; and a few moments later the driver gained conscious and after being checked over by paramedics we were able to move the wreckage and exchange information. We’d somehow managed to hit each other’s tyre, and my tyre was a perfect oval shape.

The Beer Barge

 Welcome me hearties to the beer barge! We got the finest local Liverpudlian brews aboard; a great selection of local cider from the shire; and all the rum and whisky you can think of. Our mid-twentieth century tugboat used to pull larger ships in and out of the historic Albert docks; allowing passengers and sailors alike to enjoy the sights and sounds of the big city. You can relax on the deck till the sun sets; and if it’s football you’re after, what better atmosphere to watch it in than the engine room! If you’re feeling adventurous; why not descend down into the docks with our underwater deep sea adventure? Or if you like to party, pop on in and see what’s on this weekend? We have a huge range of lie entertainment from resident DJs and bands to top name comedians. We’re just a stone’s throw away from the Merseyrail, and you can wash it all down with a good hearty portion of scouse.

Baltic Fleet Summer Ale at the Baltic Fleet, Liverpool

On my second visit to the Baltic Fleet, it quickly became evident that it had just been refurnished. In the days of the docks; this pub would be perfectly situated to serve thirsty workers in the cellar and there was even rumour of smuggling in the cellar; though you’d struggle to think of this pub as catering for the working man today. The smell of new paint was still in the air trying to escape off its green wooden beams and into our lungs. On my last visit here; the beers were clearly under the name of Wapping; evidently this side of the business had been sold, but the beer brewed on-site was still very refreshing. But it’s not just the inside that has changed; the outside hasn’t got a stain on it which is very impressive for a city centre pub We sat for a while looking at the local literature while contemplating the rest of our journey; while at the same time we were looking around to distinguish the local from the weekend visitor.  

Thirsty Work at Worcester Beer Festival

Worcester CAMRA held its seventeenth beer, cider and perry festival in the city’s racecourse in the first week of August. Over 170 real ales were served in a giant air hanger-styled marquee, alongside a huge range of cider, perries and fruit and grape wines. Worcester Mayor Paul Denham officially opened the festival which saw over eleven thousand people pass through the gates.

Volunteer CAMRA members worked extremely hard over the three-day event to ensure that a good time was had by the drinking public. A new range Come Together, Underground Ocean and The Outcasts.

of fruit ciders proved to be very popular which included Barbourne’s Strawberry Cider, and the crowds were also entertained by top bands such as

Generous drinkers also donated beer tokens to support the Midlands Air Ambulance, the Severn Freewheelers Emergency Volunteer Service; and Acorns Children’s Hospice. Saturday evening saw a little beer left and a fair bit of cider and perry, but not much considering how much there was to start with. 

Abandon Hope for Labour

So now that we've had a new Tory leader, Labour is also trying to get in on the act. Jeremy Corbyn has taken up the reins, a washed-uphold bearded man who dresses like Mr. Bean and lives in a similar property. Although he supported the Prime Minister during the Brexit vote; his actions of late haven't won him any favours; principally the video on one of Branson’s trains trying to highlight how overcrowded the trains were. Next we have Owen Smith who seems a lot more confident; but his first action seems to be trying to undo the Brexit vote. So there's two Labour factions at the moment; and neither of them are doing themselves any favours. The Lib Dems seem to have given up; and UKIP seemed to have dissolved now that Farage has stepped down to fly to the US to help mad ol’ Trumpy. So it looks like we’re stuck with the Tories for a while…

The Raid

‘Any good pickings today?’

‘No, it’s been quiet. Too cold for picnics.’

‘Looks like we're going to have to sort ourselves out again.’

‘What's that over there?’

‘That big triangular building? Dunno; it's human. I've always stayed away from it.’

‘Well, today I feel lucky. Coming for a womble?’

Jack stretched his neck out over to the pier. ‘Okay, but best go now while there's no-one about.’

The two took off and flew across the dock. As the coast was clear, they skidded to a halt on the water, then climbed out and slowly waddled towards the building.

‘After you’ said Jack.

Arnold stuck  his head into the building. He could hear noise of metals clanging from another room; but in the city he heard learnt that everything was loud and that there was only danger if he actually saw it. As he ventured further in, he could smell pine and dead tree. No food though. Suddenly, the whole room lit up and he gave a honk in surprise; flapping his wings in shock. As he did so, a box tumbled off its pile; and hit the floor, spelling its contents. ‘Jackpot’. 

Brexit is Beautiful

So we’ve finally decided to break the bank and go it alone to reclaim our independence. Well done everyone. And the good news is that Britain is still Britain. We haven’t plunged into debt overnight; we’re not relying on hamster power; and people are still going about their daily business. Scotland have protested and that’s rightly so, as they stand to lose a lot more. But what I can’t stand is the group who want to campaign for a second referendum who didn’t understand what the effects would be. These people clearly didn’t think it through properly the first time round; and we’ve been promised this referendum for years. Well done to Theresa May to have the courage to respect the choice of the British people and make plans to ensure that it happens. But it would be a huge waste of time and resources if we were all put through the same process again.

Greene King's Marmalade on Toast at The Pumphouse Inn, Liverpool

Sitting on the dock of the bay is The Pumphouse Inn on Liverpool’s Historic Albert Docks. From a distance, its shape resembles an old church; but this nineteenth-century building was actually the first steam hydraulic system that served the dockyard. Today it’s a placed pub owned by Greene King for the tourist trade; serving pub food rather than a selection of drinks. It offers views of the dockyard in its historic setting. And it plainly works as a man came in to complain about the outside table service; evidently he doesn’t use pubs often. But novel for Greene King was Marmalade on Toast golden bitter with a twist of orange. The bar staff seemed very rushed to serve us on a normal Friday afternoon; and didn’t seem prepared at all for the extra visitors due into the city that weekend. Once the harassed bar staff had finally found our Cask Marque certificate; we managed to find a corner table upstairs to plan our next stop. 

Pristine Pasta

When my folks go away, I usually make my own pasta bake with chicken, bacon sweetcorn and mushrooms all in a tomato-based sauce. Usually it makes a huge mess and I never have a pot big enough to put all the ingredients in and the cost can add up quite quickly too. Lately, I’ve found myself at Asda to do my grocery shopping; as all the food seems vert reasonably priced and it’s also the closest supermarket. So I actually tried one of their freshly ready-made pasta meals; and it was way better than my own as the ingredients actually blended with each other. For the coup-de-grace, I also bought some meatballs to try; but couldn’t work out what was the best way of cooking them. I ended up frying them in a wok then stirred them into some snack pasta and added bacon, mushrooms and cheese for a very satisfying meal. 

Ale-Thirsty Pirates Descend into Bromsgrove

The thirteenth Bromsgrove Beer and Cider Festival took place at the end of June. Over 3,000 drinkers

and thirsty pirates came through the door, which made it the biggest event ever. This year the bar team had sourced extra beer and cider to see the event through to the end, which meant that only five hundred pints were left out of the 10,500+ pints available.

The festival was officially opened by Reverend Ray Khan of St. John’s Baptist Church, who began proceedings by blessing the beer. Members of Redditch and Bromsgrove CAMRA also held a tapping ceremony of Fixed Wheel’s Paxo’s Pale Ale which was brewed in memory of Branch Committee member Dave Morton; and a memorial plaque was presented to his family alongside pub licensee John Humphreys of the Weighbridge in Alvechurch.

Friday evening saw a very crowded marquee and drinkers were also entertained by Nite Train and Dog named Steve. On Saturday Blackwell Concert Band made a welcome return alongside the tutored ale tastings with support from local bands from across the West Midlands.

Of the 144 ales on offer there can be only be one festival favourite; and this year’s winner as voted by customers was Instant Kalmer; a pale ale brewed by the Rock’ n’ Roll brewery in Digbeth, Birmingham. Not far behind was Kinver’s Cutting Edge and Olde Swan (Ma Pardoe’s) Original. Meanwhile, cider lovers enjoyed Butford Organics Perry, Gwynty Draig’s Black Dragon, and Headless Cross Community Orchard’s Cider.  The festival recruited 62 new members to the Campaign, and generous drinkers also donated over £450 in drink tokens to Macmillan Cancer Support. 

We need to decide what we're doing...

So tomorrow our MPs decide on the future of Trident, our nuclear arms site which is hidden away in Loch Lomond in Scotland. Now that we’re leaving the EU, it’s more important than ever that we update our missile systems in response to any threat throughout the world; especially with Mr. Putin flexing his muscles over the European border. Of course there will be some hippy types saying that we’ve never had to use them; but we’ve never been more under threat and we really need to keep hold of our global power. But what we should be more concerned about is whether or not Scotland (who opposes the nukes on their soil) wants to leave the United Kingdom to re-join the EU. That will present even more complications and the whole site may have to be moved to another site which could potentially increase the cost. We need a long term solution for this when all our government plans are in place so that we don’t have to pay for this cost later. 

The Mersey Wheel

High up in the Merseyian sky is an old bird looking for a place to cry.

As it flaps its tired wings, it constantly sees metal things.

When it was young, it flew over here and saw only the river it held so dear.

Back then it was shining oh so blue, and the land stretched out as green as dew.

Come night the light was a perfect dark, and the stars did shine for this young lark

To find its way across the land and help re-join its merry band.

But then man came and brought in brass, and built up buildings made out of glass.

They brought in rock and moulded steel all to create this Merseyian wheel.

And now the light is always there shining on this land so bare

And the people never seem to rest, always making more noise and mess.

All it wants is to find a perch on an old and tall silver birch,

But all the trees have been taken away and man has ruined this peaceful bay.

Laptop Lament

I've been struggling with my own laptop for a while now. It's slow, the screen is dim, and today the in-built touchpad wouldn't work. There was a rather dark circle shaped across its surface, suggesting that it had either burnt out or I'd spilled something on it. I normally use a mouse but the touchpad means that I don't have to take one with me. My wireless mouse is also pointless as, although the mouse itself is wireless, its sensor has a very long itself between itself and its USB adapter. So today was the day that I finally found an excuse for a new upgrade, but the touchpad really prevented me from going to work out in the field. So I googled it. And one of the most obvious solutions was to check that I hadn't manually displayed it. So I looked at the Fn keyboard shortcuts, found one that vaguely represented a touchpad, and hey presto, it worked! As I was on a roll, I went into control panel and looked up the brightness settings, which oddly brought up the power options. But after a quick google search later, I found out that the brightness settings were actually at the bottom of the screen! An odd place to put them but two out of three problems are now fixed and the excuses for a new computer are rapidly draining away. 

Family fun at the Needlemakers

Pubs have always been at the heart of our communities serving great food and drink, but they also undertake vital fundraising work for local charities. In 2014, pubs across the country raised over 100 million pounds for good causes.

Debbie Styles of the Needlemakers Arms in Studley runs an annual family fete day in aid of Birmingham Children’s Hospice, which raises thousands of pounds each year. As well as games to attract children such as a bungee run, crazy golf and a coconut shy, there’s a tombola, home-made food and traditional games like guessing how many pennies are in a bottle. The pub also runs a harvest festival in September in aid of St. Mary’s Church.

In our last issue, we incorrectly printed that the Needlemakers Arms had closed. This was clearly not the case, and we would like to offer our sincere apologies to Licensee Debbie Styles and her staff and customers for any inconvenience caused.

Introducing the Apple iPhone 7...

Apple has just announced its latest iPhone 7, but at the moment it’s hard to see the innovation in it. Firstly, it has no headphone socket, which means all music and video will need to be either played through the phone’s speaker or through Bluetooth technology, which will place a significant drain on the battery. They claim to have increased the battery life and have announced a new range of headphones to support this, and have also made it water resistant for thirty minutes underwater (not that the old one wasn’t). That’s like cutting a tree down with a steak knife rather than a machete. Finally, the promotional video is very black and basic, which is supposedly to support the fact that it’s the blackest black ever. But all this has increased the price tag by an extra hundred pounds, supposedly because of the UK Brexit and the value of the pound in today’s economy. Nothing to do with the unpaid tax bill then?  

Champion Beer of Britain

This year’s Supreme Champion Beer of Britain 2016 is Bingham’s Vanilla Stout which is brewed in Berkshire, and it also won a gold medal in the Speciality category. The silver medal in the Speciality category went to Titanic brewery in Staffordshire for its Plum Porter; while the Shropshire-based Salopian brewery took silver in the Best Bitter category with Darwin’s Origin and joint bronze in the Bitter category with Salopian Gold.

We hope that you’ve had the chance to try some excellent beers over the summer, from festival favourites to new discoveries…and now it’s make your mind up time! CAMRA members can vote for their favourite regional beers in eleven different categories from Best Bitters and Porters to Golden Ales and Milds. Once the voting process has closed, the top beers from each category are put to blind tastings in competitions around the region, and the final winners will be judged during the Great British Beer Festival in August 2017. Who knows, the next Supreme Champion Beer of Britain could be chosen by you!

To vote, just log onto www.cbobvoting.org.uk with your CAMRA membership details before 1 November 2016. The overall winner will be announced at the Great British Beer Festival 2017 and it could be chosen by you! Join the debate at #votecbob   

Shop Dummy

Lance looked out through the window. There she was again, as gorgeous as ever. Today she was wearing a plain pink tank top and a blue skirt with printed daisies. If only there was some way to communicate with her before the lights went out.  He’d thought about getting a sign but corporate would never allow it. He’d have to wait until February unless a wedding season was planned; but he’d have to get to know her before popping the question. But he felt like he’d known her already, ever since the wooden screen was first taken down two years ago. Since then, it seemed that they’d both choose to change their clothes on the same evening, yet there would always be a different outfit on show. Lance particularly enjoyed the prom season in June; where each year he’d get a different coloured tux while she always wore a matching coloured silk dress. That was the time when he felt closer than ever to her. 

90 Days to Your Novel by Sarah Domet

90 Days to Your Novel: A Day-By-Day Plan for Outlining & Writing Your Book by Sarah Domet
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

All you need is inner discipline, a willingness to succeed, and time to complete this ninety-day challenge. Domet’s action plan inspires you to put together the skills needed to create your first story. From outlines to themes, characters to plots; you’ll need to think about them from every perspective and rule out the drivel, keep your reader gripped and have the time to see the project through to the end. Domet uses a few famous examples of American literature to showcase how past writers have achieved their goals; but the overall assignments that are set are both practical and purposeful in their execution, and don’t require you to veer off on a huge reading list first. It’s a perfect plan for those who think that they have what it takes. So the question is; can you write a novel in ninety days? If it’s really that easy, I’d better start clearing out my to-do list and find some self-discipline.

View all my reviews

Bargain Hunt Bi-Gones

I've just seen the presenting team of BBC’s Bargain Hunt. I didn't realise that Tim Wonnacott had left. But one of the experts is clearly missing David Dickinson and is depicting him in drag. She's got a mop of black hair, eccentric glasses, a long brown coat and multi-colour scarf alongside brown wellington boots. She was even walking around arm in arm with her contestants in a Julie Garland style manner  I didn't have the sound at the time as I was watching it on a screen in the gym, but the next scene they showed featured some stone mushrooms. Fortunately  the expert on the blue team looked much less gay, although she still had her arms wrapped around their contestants as well. So this is what daytime TV has come to; acting values of the 50s to please the pensioners while getting together in a private gazebo once the cameras have finished rolling. Never has an antiques show been so kinky. 

A Bronze win for the Rocklands

The Rocklands Social Club in Redditch has scooped third place in the CAMRA West Midlands Club

of the Year Competition 2016. Based in Headless Cross, the club is a great supporter of microbreweries and has its own Rocklands Ale Tasting Society (RATS) and also supports a local community orchard. In the last few months, the club has received several visits by volunteer CAMRA members from around the West Midlands, who have been secretly judging the club on the quality of its real ales, the club’s atmosphere and its sympathy with CAMRA’s aims and values. Taking the top title was the Kinver Constitutional Club in Kinver, Staffordshire, who will now go through to the final sixteen in the National Club of the Year Award. Second place was the Firs Club in Codsall near Wolverhampton. We’d like to congratulate bar manager Matt Hill, Club President John Brookes and all their team on reaching this stage of the competition.

The Journey In

I quite enjoyed the journey up to Liverpool. Even though we’d got one of the cheaper trains, it was actually quite quiet with lots of scenery, and apart from the obvious commentary that my friend decided to impart with every passing turn, it passed quite quickly. Once we’d arrived at Lime Street, our next task was to get ourselves over to our hotel. As it was some distance away, most people would have opted for a taxi, but my friend insisted that it wasn’t far, so we dragged our luggage through the streets. As we stuck only to large main roads as we were following a map, our first impression of the city wasn’t that scenic, but we soon found a shortcut through an estate, complete with kids charging around on dirt bikes through paved residential areas. However, this shortcut soon paid off and we arrived at our home for the next three nights. 

Books for Beer Lovers

Three new titles have hit the shelves from the CAMRA press.

The Good Beer Guide 2017 (£12.99) is now in its 44^th edition and lists the best venues in each county where that perfect pint can be found. It’s researched by volunteer CAMRA members from across the country to bring you an independent guide written by beer lovers for beer lovers. As well as an exhaustive brewery section listing full details of the UK’s 1,400+ micro, regional and national breweries and their core beers, it also features articles from award-winning beer writer Roger Protz.

The Year in Beer Diary 2017 (£9.99) is designed to help you plan your beer festival calendar for 2017, listing known dates of CAMRA beer festivals as well as a wealth of information on beer-related dates, brewing facts and links each week of the year to a beer theme.

Britain’s Best Real Heritage Pubs (new edition), priced at £9.99, has been thoroughly updated since its first publication in 2013. It contains detailed information on 260 of the country’s Victorian drinking palaces, unspoilt country locals and pubs with interiors of outstanding historic interest. The book also features articles on pub history including pub development; distinctions between pubs in different parts of the country; and how people used the pub before the pre-supermarket era. It’s the result of over 25 years of research by CAMRA with over 650 illustrations as well as a selection of the best regional inventory listings    

To order these titles, visit shop.camra.org.uk or call the CAMRA sales team on 01727 337855. Discounts are available for CAMRA members. Certain titles may also be available at beer festivals and other retailers.

Independence Day: Resurgence

It’s been twenty years since the aliens have tried to destroy Earth, and in that time they say that world peace has been achieved with the help of technology that we just don’t understand. Yet, twenty minutes into the film, we’re currently into the realms of an African Warlord/Dictator who is clearly marking his territory. The wisecracks and rivalry seem to have been written out of this sequel, and the new characters don’t have enough screen time or experience to recreate the atmosphere of its predecessor. I spent most of the film identifying whether each character was in the first film and comparing their new role to pre-invaded Earth. There is a scope for a third movie to assist the new alien race in destroying our invaders, but I think that this relationship isn’t explored enough in this film to give it merit. Just two hours later I was relaxing in the pub with a pint of Conwy’s California.

Wapping Quay Traffic Report

And it’s the usual flow of traffic here at the King’s Dock; there’s a heavy stream heading out to the East as expected while inbound traffic is trickling in slowly. If you’re looking for a lift there’s a crane service in operation on the west side of Wapping Quay; just pull over, toot your horn and a crane will swing over as soon as it’s ready. Don’t forget that the cranes now accept all major credit cards debit cards, cash and discounts are available through the website. All cycle lanes are open so please do take advantage of those if you can. Good news for boat users; there’s not a single vessel on the Mersey today owing to the suspension of ferry services due to earlier high winds. But if you’re relying on a ferry to get home, the trains are accepting ferry tickets on their services; and the ferries will operate to a normal timetable from tomorrow morning.  

Chocolate Medals

Cadbury’s is set to see profits rise this summer as it is to be this year’s official supplier of chocolate medals for this year’s global games. The firm had briefly experimented with the idea of substituting this year’s medals with cheese in case the Americans got wind of what their medals were actually made of, but it was decided to keep costs down as cocoa beans could be processed directly outside the venues. It also meant that in the event of the Russians failing their drugs test after their events; rather than begin the legal process of stripping their medals and re-distributing them to athletes who competed fairly; they would simply whip up another batch so as not to disturb the Soviet state and risk further threats of a cold war situation. Meanwhile, Cadbury’s have increased their prices so that the general public are contributing to the creation of these chocolate medals.

God's Waiting Room

I've found God’s waiting room and it's in the heart of Yorkshire! After climbing down the Chevin we took shelter in the Old Cock Inn, an old pub in the middle of Otley. Walking in was just like visiting the saloon, with just a handful of locals at the bar and the fall of silence and suspicion. After peeping around the corner into the pub’s reading room where two men sat at separate tables reading newspapers; I broke the ice by buying some beer. I started with Brass Castle’s Hazelnut Mild, an excellent beer containing many flavours. There was also a local cycle-themed beer from Briscoe’s (perfect timing as a race was due to pass through the town that very evening) and an IPA from Durham, all in excellent condition.  Throughout this experience, my friend raised eyebrows from the upper class middle-aged barmaid whose accent was too posh to be local; and also reflected the process of the beer. But after constantly asking for soda water; he too broke the ice on our final round as he chose to opt for some cider. 

A Bobby for Breakfast

It’s market day, and we’re at the breakfast van waiting grabbing a snack before we jump on a train. The food itself is excellent value and we grab a table in the middle of a hustling and bustling day of trade. As we have our suitcases with us, we seem to take it in turns, despite me offering to order for my friend. As my tea is served, I'm conscious that my friend needs to order, so instead of trying to reach the sugar bowl which is hidden amongst the locals on a side shelf who seem to think it’s a bar, I return to the table. There's a family of three next to us who have been there a while, all smoking fags and wearing matching shell suits. The local runner circles our patch three times evidently looking for some local contact. Then the local Bobby pulls up on his bicycle.