Derren De-Browned

I’m just so annoyed that my friend never had the opportunity to enjoy Derren Brown’s Ghost Train because of the fact that he’s in a wheelchair. We’d journeyed all the way down from the Midlands especially for the occasion. It didn’t get off for a good start when we arrived to find that the ride was out of order. When it did get going we were ushered straight to the front, but that meant that we missed out the photo opportunity in the queue system. When we got inside; watching the animatronic Derren Brown was quite enjoyable. We then followed our guide through a series of corridors; and when it came to the steps they had a special wheelchair ramp for my friend. But when it came to actually boarding the train; they actually expected my friend to be able to stand up and walk from his chair to the ride! Why wasn’t this mentioned before we started queuing by the first attendant? What a waste of time. 

God save the Queen

So this year the treasury have decided to add more chaos to the finance world by introducing a new pound coin in a different shape. Many companies have had to upgrade their vending machines to reflect the change. But isn’t this all a bit pre-mature? Surely (and God bless her heart) our monarch may not have much life left in her, so is a re-print of new coins and notes a waste of time? If Liz did to decide to abdicate and pass the role onto Charlie; surely this would initiate a new wave of freshly printed money and coins? Or are these changes just small fry when it comes to what goes on the money compared to the new shapes, sizes and textures of our finances? Surely this new wave of coinage is just confusing everyone? I recently got a €20c coin in my change when it was supposed to be a pound. If more places were open to accepting electronic version, life would be so much easier and faster. 

That's Better, That's Tetley

Come and rest your laurels and take off yer flat cap, it’s time for a cup of tea. You’ve been working hard lad so I’ve sent the missus off to put the kettle on. One lump or two? Yep, I’ve been perched on this bench for a long time now. It’s a great spot for people watching. And there’s some strange folk nowadays. Half of them don’t even know how to make a decent brew. And there ain’t half some rustling in the bushes behind me. I don’t know if it’s just the local wildlife that’s got their eyes on my brew or the youngsters having a roll in the hay. But watching the teapot go round and round doesn’t make me dizzy at all. Each time it spins, I just picture the brew coming out and wishing I could be sitting in one of those giant cups having a warm bath full of tea. Ah, that’s better. 

Caught Short #dreamdiary 27

I’m doing a dummy walk for one of my walking groups. It’s a walk which mixes in a pub lunch. The only problem is that I’m a bit short for time. Firstly, Mum has already agreed to make me lunch today and I’ve already agreed to go to the hospital with her, so this will be a very quick run rather than a walk. The second thing is that even though I’ve done this walk before, I cannot remember how long the walk is or work out how long it will take me. I’m standing on the edge of the embankment with the town behind me, grasping my smartwatch in my wrist and pondering the situation. As I look down, I see a large friendly woman set up a large red marquee-styled tent on the green below. In front of me on the hilltop is a beautiful stream trickling through rolling green hills. I’ve got three hours to play with; but I’m probably going to need a shower on my return; especially if I run it. I toy with the idea of calling home, but I already realise that I'm going to be out of time. Sadly, I turn round to abandon the walk and head back down the embankment. 

The Swarm at Thorpe Park

I love the effort that some theme parks put into the surroundings of this ride, and was no exception. Once again, my friend was gracious enough to let me ride while he watched from ground level amongst a post-apocalyptic display of rubble and disaster. As well as uprooted telephone boxes, there were also crashed helicopters and debris of emergency vehicles scattered around the site, complete with sirens. TV screens display news coverage of a crisis event taking place, known only as ‘The Swarm’. The queue was small and the queueing system was sensible, splitting the queue into two systems for faster access to the ride. The ride itself was very comfortable, and the arm rests were very secure which made for an even comfortable ride. I hate the oversized shoulder restraints as they make you rattle around in your seat too much during the ride. The highlight was zooming through the middle of a billboard. It’s a good one! 

Are we being charged for Stupidity?

Last month, a man died while charging his iPhone in the bath. Normally, you would think that electricity and water do not mix, and laugh at the man’s idiocy and lack of common sense and get on with your life. But now a coroner has decided that future products should come with warnings about how they are not to be used. This is madness. If it becomes law, manufacturers will now have to think of every situation where their products are not suitable for use and ensure that suitable warnings are in place. Chainsaws should not be used to swat flies. You should not use a stapler to pierce your ears. And I’m pretty sure that nowhere in my car’s manual does it say: ‘do not drive underwater’. Potentially, similar phones would have to come with a giant book which is three times as big as the phone itself; or ensure suitable warnings are displayed when the phone is plugged in, or write it into its user agreement. And who’s going to have to foot the cost? The consumer. Because manufacturers will have to think of every possible misuse of their products to protect themselves from legal implications.

Hopcraft Statement of Intent at the Horse & Jockey, Stapleford

Our last pub of our Nottinghamshire tour came close to winning a national award a few years ago. It’s another community pub which was very busy in the middle of a Saturday night, but we were made very welcome. The large bar was showcasing a brewery takeover, and was selling five different beers from the same brewery. A large timber lounge hosted lots of different sized tables whilst a raised area at the rear allowed others to chat. Behind a door there was another raised area which doubled as a stage, and behind that there was a snug with a small fire. It would be wrong to finish the evening without at least trying a strong beer. Hopcraft is one of those new breweries who like to keep their brews modern to attract a younger audience, and I suspect that they sell their products in keg as well as cask. Bu this beer was very enjoyable.