Red Arrows #dreamdiary 182

I’m trying to find my way to the coffee shop. I’ve got these new glasses to guide me. They interact with some mapping software and bring up some red arrows on the lenses to direct me. The trouble is that they fail to take height into account. They indicate when I’m at a destination, but only because the corresponding satellite states that I should be above it. So when I’m in a tunnel that runs underneath a shopping precinct, my device tells me that I have arrived. There’s diagonal arrows to indicate some nearby steps as a suggestion, but I have to restart my route again, because as I turn my back to my destination, an alarm is raised indicating that I’m travelling away from it. It never turns green or tells me how far away I am from it. It’s very frustrating as it can’t recognise what floor I’m on and where I need to go.

Mailout

Here we go. Just another day sorting out the post. Oh, what's this, come to empty me already? Nope, just walking past into the house over there with some milk. Lady with a dog. She’s seen me. She's coming over. What's this? Yes, there's a letter in her bag. Here it comes, yes! Score for the post box. And the dog’s pissed all over me. It’ll be off putting to everyone who visits. Yet neither of them seem that bothered. Off they go without a care in the world that I now stink like wee. Here comes the post van. The postie gets out. He's pulled his key out of his pocket. He's just taken a big whiff of air… and he’s scarpered. Hope that letter wasn’t urgent. Serves her right anyway. Never mind, there's always the afternoon collection. Mind you, he should have seen last night's reaction on Monday morning after the crowd came out of that pub. There might be some smell remaining in the letters. Oh, here comes Mrs Davenport to change my cosy. What have we got here? It's a giant football. Well, that's just lovely.

Stand-off #richmond 19

 ‘What do we do?’ said Jim.

‘I dunno’ said James; ‘It’s like they’re organised’.

‘I suppose that if they’re not going to move then we’re going to have to push past.’

‘But they might bite. They might not have too much fear in these numbers.’

‘Well, we have to do something. We can’t stop here all night.’

Jim approached the Land Rover. All eyes were on him. There were two deer right in front of the driver’s door. They bent down and pointed their antlers in front of him.

‘If those deer charges and impales you, you’re a goner’ said James. ‘And they don’t look like they’re moving.’

‘Well, what if you come up with me?’

‘OK’. As James joined his friend, even more deer appeared. Their eyes were glowing in the night. They started to close in on them.

‘I don’t like this’ said Jim. ‘We’re going to have to either fright, fight or flight.’

What Sound do Hamsters make?

I could be played an actual audio file of a hamster. Or it could be a joke. Either way, I’ve owned a hamster and I’ve never known it to make any sound unless it’s in distress; in which case it does squeak; unless it spent its life in terror as it spent most of its life in a cage trying to escape. Perhaps that’s the modern role of a hamster. It wasn’t the hamster itself, but what it constantly made was a rattling sound as it loved to gnaw on the cage bars, if only to try and trim its teeth. I suppose I should have provided a block of cork to help it. It only ever escaped if the door wasn’t shut properly, even if it was the roof section. It loved to do the monkey bars. It was only quiet when it was asleep or if it was eating something; though it never went nom gnom nom.

The Advance #richmond 18

Just a little nip. That’s all it takes to cause a bit of fear. The blood will start to appear; there’ll be a bit of pain, and they’ll get worried. They might retaliate in anger but they’re more likely to run away to preserve themselves. They won’t gain anything by staying to fight. And once they’re on the run, we can go inside and investigate. Smash through the clear panes. We can use branches rather than our own heads. Use them as tools like they do. Although we do run the risk of them returning with more men. So we mustn’t let them escape. Instead we must surround them. Find the instruments that let us get inside all of their locked boxes. Then we can plunder the food and stop any of them from coming back in the morning. What would they do if all the gates are left open at night? And what would they do if they’re closed in the day?

"Use the Time You've Got"

Never underestimate time. Sometimes it’s a bit difficult when you just want to relax and it can force you into a sense of idleness as you’ll just feel overwhelmed sometimes. Things can just hang over you but you’ll feel a lot better if you make time to do them. Often, they take longer to do than you think they do because of the processes involved or things that you haven’t foreseen.  If you think about the time you have between your next event and what you have to do to prepare for it, you should really focus on getting that done first. You never know when you’ll be interrupted and you’ll have to spend that time completing a different task instead. Sometimes you have to be flexible. Some things you can do in bits and come back to finish them later; other things require a set time to complete them in one go. It’s a delicate balance.

Closing Time #richmond 17

 ‘Right, it’s about time we were knocking off.’

‘OK, I’ll just wash out these mugs ready for the morning crew and lock up the house.’

‘Is everyone on their way out?’

‘Yup, quiet night tonight. Not many stragglers have come through. Probably all hitting the bars about now.’ Jim saw a brief glimpse of a pair of bright eyes in the window before he drew the curtains. ‘The deer have come to see us off tonight’ he said. He closed the door to the cottage and saw Johnny standing in front of him facing the darkness. Then he realised that hundreds of eyes were facing them.

‘What’s going on here?’ In front of them were hundreds of deer. They were actually sitting around one of the vehicles. All of them were watching them.

‘Scat’ said James. Some of them jumped up at the noise and backed away, while others increased their stance, reacting to the noise but not retreating.

Doctor Who: Series 14

So this year’s Doctor Who is all said and done, though it’s hardly wrapped up. There’s still a few continuity issues to solve, and some villains are getting a bit too interactive, especially since they’ve started to break the fourth wall. That said, hardly any of the traditional monsters are featured this year; not even for a glimpse. It’s all new species for a new character. There’s some great ideas, and no expense is spared in making new lands. The protagonists are people that others can easily relate to; while many of the actors involved are lesser known which gives producers more money to splash out on the sets. The comedic moments come more from the discoveries and sharing the knowledge rather than traditional one-upmanship and superiority as in previous series. It’s also brought back a sense of nostalgia as former companions are introduced rather than the traditional mainstream villains that we come to expect. That said, it was a bit shorter than usual, though we did have three specials beforehand.

The Attack #richmond 16

We’ll never be able to attack at night. They always head off just before dusk. If they’re in their shiny boxes, we’ll have to force them to keep turning. I don’t think that they’ll deliberately hit us but we’ll have to keep moving. The boxes may move backwards but they have to stop to do this. If they do, we’ll need to change direction too. There’s some tracks outside of the stone square; and with a bit of luck we’ll be able to force these into embarkments if the weather’s wet. Then all we need to do is force them off the stone tracks and they’ll be stuck. When they leave the shiny boxes, that’s the moment to charge and attack them before they can call for help. Then it’s a case of keeping them pinned while everyone else passes through the stone. One they’re out there, it’s just a matter of time to observe everything that you can.

Down Boy

I don’t remember ever having contact with them. But I imagine them to be trendy hipsters. I remember speaking to someone about them when I was serving at a bar, and perhaps I was supposed to get back to them. Something about them being a shareholder and that we weren’t supporting them because they didn’t sell live beer. I’d like to take a flight or stay in one of their hotels in a bath of beer; but I imagine that the price would be a bit extortionate. And they’ve also been known for controversial advertising campaigns and criticising other advertising campaigns which aren’t doing them any favours. But they are trying a range of new brews lately; if only to get the hipsters back on their side after becoming so big. Even their founder has had enough and is stepping down this year. It’s a shame that they’ve never tried to brew their beer as cask.

Urban Raiders #richmond 15

All right, listen up. Tonight's mission is reconnaissance. We've got to find a way out of the paddock. There’s gates that get locked every night. There's lights that move. But there must be something inside that stone square that turns them off. The key to our freedom is in there. The men leave it every night so we need to know their route. If we watch and learn how they exit, then we can stop them from reaching the exit to close it. Some of us will surround them while the others will go inside. When we do this will have to be quick and turn everything upside down. A second team will head out of the gates to look around while they’re still open. But first we need to know their movements and not to be afraid of the shiny boxes that run down the stone path. All we can do then is keep running around them in circles.

Operators report Misleading Claims over the Euros Tournament

It sounds like a scam to me. An organisation that no-one’s heard of is demanding that a separate licence is needed to show live sport despite already having a TV licence. I’m aware that commercial premises need to have different licences to what you would have at home since there’s an opportunity to raise commerce from it. And apparently live sport is exempt. So what do these people want? They’re called the Motion Picture Licensing Company (MPLC). They sound like someone you’d pay to set up a cinema screen in an outdoors setting to show films. In short, it’s another scaremongering method to get money out of hard-working tenants. There’s no indication of what could happen if you weren’t to buy a licence direct from this company. But live events don’t follow a script; there’s no writers or actors to pay as it all happens spontaneously. So why pay for more? I think someone’s just trying to raise some extra cash.

Trendsetters #richmond 14

It’s a new fashion; wearing your facemask on your elbow like one of those condolence bands. I picked it up while seeing other people out and about doing the same thing. No-one’s sure if it’s hygienic or not. I suppose it depends on how sweaty your elbows are and what you’ve been keeping inside your pockets recently. But it’s light and handy and you can have it on in a flash. You’re supposed to keep it in some kind of plastic wrap. It all depends if it’s a reusable one or not. You might only need to wear it for five minutes or so it it’s a bit wasteful if you have to throw it away. But if anyone who’s concerned about hygiene asks, I’m using it as a bandage to cover a tattoo. But if I have to remove it in front of them, that could cause a problem.

I left my job without telling anyone; now my boss is trying to reach me. What should I do?

It sounds like you’re having second thoughts. You don’t have to do anything. But you should know why you left your job. Do you have any loose ends to tie up? It sounds like your boss thinks you do as they’re trying to make contact with you. It does sound a bit irresponsible to abandon your post. Are you expecting a scolding? Or is your boss looking for feedback on what can be improved? If you’re being mistreated and there’s already a better opportunity for you, then perhaps it’s best to leave everything in the dark, though you have to be aware that your predecessor may try to ruin your reputation by your actions. A little more context is needed here. And the fact that you’re asking for help indicates that you’re not sure that you’re doing the right thing. You need help from someone who can act who can make it better. You should really get in touch, even if it’s only to say that you do not wat to be bothered by them again.

Scorched Earth #richmond 13

The grass is turning yellow. For a species that's used to their food source being wet and green, this may not be a good sign, although some may see it as a rare treat to have their food toasted. Of course, taking this dry option means that you’ll have to source water from somewhere afterwards. And it may not be so rare in the future. Climate change will have a major effect on animal migration patterns as what was once a reliable source is now not so dependable as they may get desperate forcing them to venture into other areas for supplies. They may raid dustbins, they may venture into the concrete jungle, but for now they make the most of whatever’s nearest to them. We can only hope that the ecosystem can be maintained to support all forms of life without one species disrupting the other or forcing one to attempt to conquer the other.

 

When your hobby becomes someone else's job #dreamdiary 181

We’re off to our local beer festival. It’s nice to be able to attend one without having to volunteer for a change. The trouble is that we haven’t checked the opening times. Inside, a tutored session is being led and some of my colleagues are inside handing out beer. They’re getting paid for this. They see us and they shush us to go away as we’re disturbing the lecture. It makes us look so unprofessional. We’ve now got to decide what to do. We can have a few beers at the pub next door, but that’s not what we’ve come down for as we can do that any time. Instead, we should go away and perhaps come back later. We split up and I head into the pub. After a pint, I notice that the lecture has finished. I wonder if I can sneak into the free session early or it might be free time reserved for those who are working.

Mucking about MOTs

I’m sure that most people, like me, don’t like being mucked about with when it comes to paying for a service that you don’t know much about. Obviously you want a good deal, but at the same time you want knowledge that you can trust and be felt that you’re being looked after and everything’s being done in your best interest, especially when it’s something that you’re putting off. You’re normally allowed to get your car into the garage for your MOT a month before it’s due to give you plenty of time to put right any errors, but sometimes the dread of the expense is just too much. I needed it done quickly so I went to one of the chain garages that operated on a Sunday. Unfortunately, the rest of the trade didn’t, so when it came to a part that needed ordering, I had to wait a few days. But so did the car. It also meant that the service team didn't have a clue when I called for an update. They'd left me hanging before by completing work without bothering to tell me that it was ready. I'm not going to be using them again, but I do need to be more prepared to get around it.

Roos Amongst Deer #richmond 12

 ‘So, do you think they spotted us yet then mate?’

‘No. As long as we keep our heads up high and our bodies well-hidden then I think we'll be OK.’

‘But what if we have to move?’

‘We’ll just have to hope that they can't catch up. With a bit of luck, we'll be able to keep the deer in front of us so that we don't give the game away. At least there's a good chance that we won't get hit by a boomerang round here.

‘So how do they control this lot?’

‘Well, it could be done by nets, they could use dogs, or they could just chase them down and turn them into meat.’

‘So if we're not careful, we could be mistaken for a venison burger?’

‘Yep.’

‘Crikey. What if we gave them a good boxing?’

‘Well, the game would be up, but they wouldn't be expecting it. We’d have to start all over again or leg it.’

Career Change #empress 21

‘It’s good to get some fresh air’ said a large deep voice. Zhong now knew the Empress’s true intentions, to stretch her legs after being in the city for so long. He wondered if she would even fit in the city or whether it was her intention to build a new home around her and make regal visits from time to time. Zhong wondered if there would be anything left of his farm. The Empress might be true to her word and leave his farm as it is, but the surrounding landscape might be destroyed. He might even be trapped within in, forced by mounds of earth and supplied with rations only supplied by the state to feed the state. He decided to go to temple and gives thanks to the Gods. He hadn’t been in a while, and at this time of doubt he could really do with some guidance.

Deerstalker #richmond 11

How close can they get? They look innocent enough, heads down, focusing on grazing in the background. Or at least you think that's what they're doing while you’re getting into an amusing pose. What they're really doing is getting themselves into position ready for an attack. They’re watching carefully, taking their time while hoping that the poser is focusing on the photographer and vice versa, allowing for more of them to outflank their targets and perhaps cut off their path of escape. Then it's the method of how they attack. One of them might approach you slowly. You might want to stroke or feed it with a piece of grass from your hand. They might walk right up for a quick bite, then charge right in. Or they might simply run at you at full speed. They may not have antlers, but they could probably still knock you over at a good force, especially if they take you by surprise.

Treehouse meets Tree

It's like the dead meets the living. One looks on in envy as it recalls  its past life, standing tall and proud in full blossom ,swinging in the wind while supporting many forms of life. The other looks in wonder at what it could become; stripped of sap, dried and sanded and carted off to the mill. That's of course, assuming that the builder is using treated wood, but of course there’s nothing to stop the builder from using branches of other trees as beams. They might have been related at some point, or it might even be true butchery.  If the same tree’s used. But there comes a time where a metal spike must come out of one and into the other, unless the builder is very skilled and compresses them very tightly together. But however they are bound, will they get on? Will the living attempt to absorb the dead? Will it reject it, overpower it, grow through it and loosen it, or grow around it? Or will it bear it tightly together to hold this new structure?

Rescue Rangers #richmond 10

If you can find them, you can be saved. You can be picked up and driven to the nearest pub for an instant G&T and arrange for a cab to take you to the nearest bus stop or tube station. But first they have to find you. They're more likely to deliver first aid at your side and have an ambulance at the gates or the Ranger station unless it's unsafe to move you; inn which case they're more likely to go and pick up the paramedics. But first you have to get the message out that you need help. If you phone the emergency services, they're more likely to send the Ranger out to you first as they're going to know the terrain better. But if you haven't got a phone, you need someone that has or can at least make a journey to get one. But time is short and you need to find some way of making your situation known quickly. 

What Wine goes well with Salmon?

It’s got to be a white. I can’t envision something that’s dark. And probably the sweeter the better. So is it going to be an opinion or some pre-recorded research? Or is it going to get real with me and tell me that it doesn’t have a mouth so it hasn’t a clue? But it goes on the internet to recommend assorted styles of wine. It doesn’t recommend a particular bottle, where I can get one from, or even offer to deliver it for me. I’m kind of embarrassed for asking. It’s a very broad answer but at least it gives me the confidence to do what I want. If I ask it to pair salmon with another beverage, it tries to tell me about a bagel instead. But it may have misheard me the first time. Sometimes it would be nice if it just thought, ‘Does this answer make sense? Would someone really ask that? Shall I ask for clarification?’.

An Old Deer #richmond 9

It's often quite difficult for old people to experience nature. They're more likely to witness it through a pane of glass, or on a screen. So when they see something up close and live, it's a real treat. It proves that they’re in the right place at the right time. They'll enjoy hours of moaning about how to figure out sharing these images to their family and friends to persuade them to travel to these places. Of course, there's nothing to stop them from being photoshopped in. And if they're not on a scheduled trip, they can take their time to do whatever they want, providing that they don't have to wait for someone to get them home. The only thing that's stopping them is a lack of supplies, so let's hope that they've become prepared or they might not last long. I wonder how many people have to be rescued.

"Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly, and get on with improving your other innovations."

-Steve Jobs.

Every idea has a downside. It depends on the situation and the context that it's used. But no-one likes making mistakes. They’re innocent little things that you might have forgotten about or not considered in your design. But at least when you own up to them, you can try to start working on a solution rather than waste time playing the blame game. And if you own up sooner rather than later, others will be more willing to come forward and try to help you find the solution. It's important that you learn from your mistakes so that they won't occur in your future projects. Let’s hope that it doesn't happen too often, especially if you're doing something important like designing a phone. You might be able to get away with it without anyone noticing or slip back in to fix it at a later point. Hopefully it'll become a blooper at the Christmas party.

What You Looking At #richmond 8

‘What are they looking at?’

‘I think that’s us.

‘Why’s that then?’

‘Well, I think it’s because we don’t go to see them very often in their stone houses and paths and they built this great big field so that they can come and see us.’

‘So should we be going to see them? Should we be bringing bits of grass and leaves to the wooden seats that they perch on? What then? Should we let them pet us?’

‘Well, maybe not that. I approached a small one once and he made a huge noise and ran away. I’d hate to think what a big one would do. Maybe they’re hungry.’

‘Maybe, but there’s more of us than them.’

 ‘Well, maybe they’re waiting for more of them to come along.’

‘Well, what do we do?’

‘We watch our backs. The moment they start appearing on all sides, we’re in trouble. We’ll all just have to make a dash for it.’

 

The Lost City

There’s too many high-profile actors in this film which does very little to enhance the plot. It’s almost as if they needed something to do during the pandemic. It’s a cross between an action film with a romantic comedy, with many people mixed up in the mix. It could be a mockery if the action scenes weren’t so serious, and it’s a shame that the director didn’t capitalise in breaking the fourth wall often enough for it to become a spoof comedy. It just tries too hard to be real. Even the wooing scenes aren’t done hard enough. The antagonist isn’t really believable, and it would be a nicer ending if Sage had been discovered alive during the expedition. It’s a total blend of things that have been done before. It’s a cheesy attempt for ladies to persuade their partners to watch Sandra Bullock in an action film while getting a glimpse of Tatum’s chest.

Oh Deer #richmond 7

There must be safety in numbers. Whether they were there for grazing or the shade we couldn’t say. They might have popped out for a drink at the nearby stream. They certainly weren’t too bothered by people walking up and taking photographs. Perhaps they were used to it, safe in the knowledge that they could lead a charge if anything went wrong. We were amazed that they weren’t monitored by a ranger in a pick-up truck keeping both us and them safe but they must have been tending to another area of the park. Maybe it was time for culling or scooping up the poop. A few other people ventured a bit closer than us but not enough to disturb the peace. Perhaps they were fenced off anyway and were waiting for an opportunity to escape. It was certainly a very quiet atmosphere. And as quietly as we arrived, we tiptoed away.

Go Boil Yer Ead

He’s small in stature but friendly in nature. He has a head of head but has never gone for a beard. He likes the causal look with thin shirts in the summer if he’s away, and jeans if there’s a breeze. He’ll only don a pair of shorts if the sun is out, and prefers boots to sandals. He loves to explore and he takes pride in showcasing what he does. He’s managed to work out his paunch by keeping active in many walking and outdoor activities. He has hats in many places and positions, and has been at the forefront of many organisations. Make a friend of him and he’ll support you wherever possible. But if you treat him as a position holder then you’ll never get past the red tape and the rules and regulations that he enforces. He has little time for people who don’t make the effort.