On the Waterway #nuclearmermaid10

The biped was gone a long time but he returned carrying a long, strange object. He pointed it at the sack and water magically appeared. Jenny could then get into the sack and the biped could transport her through this maze. Quite soon they were outside as she could feel rain coming down from the sky. They’d arrived in an area with shiny boxes with circles attached to them. They were a it like the device that she was in, but they had a roof at the top. The biped wheeled her to the back where a panel opened out to display more water within a confined space. At the delight of seeing more water, she dove in to get her hair weight. The shiny box shook as she did this, but soon regained its former state. After a few moments the box shook again only much slighter. Then there was a loud mumming and the whole box began to move.

How Bazaar

We decided to check out the shopping districts around us. We started with the Spice Bazaar; an indoor hall full of stalls selling exactly what it stated on the tin. Each one was under its own arch, all under a beautifully painted high ceiling and tiled floor. Some of them were designed for tourists and had gift boxes of baclava and souvenirs. We then climbed a huge hill lined with a narrow cobbled street with stalls lining the pavements either side. Handbags, designer goods, mattresses, clothes, tailors, knockoffs; they were all here. Occasionally we had to step aside for the odd delivery truck or a man carrying a rickshaw loaded up with cushions. At the top was the bazaar itself; a maze of vendors selling anything from carpets to zubic earrings. Because it was packed full of people, we had to enter through a security scanner but we weren’t sure if they were scanning people in or out as it was that busy, and the alarm was going off anyway. The hill was that steep that we couldn’t see how they stopped.  You can get anything in this city, you just need to know where to find it. 

College Capers

I’m at college with my brother and my best friend. We’re studying in the heart of the Cotswolds. Every building is built out of traditional Cotswold stone with a slated roof, and it’s impossible for an outsider to tell which building is which without approaching the entrance. All the buildings are the same size be it a dorm or a classroom. All the students wear an identical uniform of a white shirt, a black and yellow tie, a purple blazer, slate-grey trousers and black shoes. Any mass gatherings are taken outside in the streets between the buildings with their perfectly manicured lawns and trim paving. We’re told that the college is closing immediately due to an outbreak of coronavirus, and that our accounts were being credited with £5,000 as compensation for the loss of the term. As we were leaving, my best friend told me not to worry about an e-mail that I’d received. He said that it was a scam set up between him and his dad. 

Deeper Underground

One of the landmarks that I wanted to visit was the Basilica Cistern, an ancient waterworks hidden deep beneath the city supported by marble columns. Mum was a bit dubious about visiting an ancient sewer, but I felt that our city visit wouldn’t be complete without seeing some of the sights described in Dan Brown’s Inferno. We entered a kiosk and paid to go through a turnstile and descend stone marble steps which felt a bit as if we’d entered the London Underground. But the columns and archways below were amazing. There was a series of walkways over the water that lit up to create a very eerie atmosphere. Some of the columns were sculptured with patterned spirals and medusa heads. Unfortunately we couldn’t undergo a full visit as restoration works were underway, and we could see workmen preserving the structure through a crack in the canopy. When we re-ascended into modern civilisation, a street tout tried to sell us some aftershave. ‘Ah, eau d’Basilicia’ I said.

New Tab

Mum needed a new tablet. Her old one wasn’t charging and the casing seemed to be coming out from the holes. We decided to go for a new one that had a bigger screen, but it looked like it was a bulk clearance on this line since the manufacturer had finished the warranty support. I managed to get the tablet the following day. It was easy to set up but I was disappointed with the speed. It also had a ridiculously short cable. Still, I wasn’t the one that would be using it. We also needed a case. Rather than buy a universal one from the retailer, we opted for a customised one from e-Bay. We looked at the cheap options and Mum liked the speckles on them until I pointed out that it was the dust on my screen that she was looking at. We found a nice one with butterflies on it that had the model number on the listing and there was even a stand. But when it arrived, the camera hole didn’t seem to line up. Odd.

Idle Istanbul

There was a little bit of tension as we were visiting. A journalist had disappeared in the Saudi embassy, and the city had stepped up its police presence. There was a booth with an officer outside the entrance to the religious sights and the roads were cordoned off with gates to prevent vehicle access. But other than that, it was quite quiet. Vendors were selling grilled corn on the cob and donner kebabs, and tricking customers in jest as they sold dondurma. Our hotel was in a small district of independent restaurants so we didn’t have far to travel for our evening meal; but some of them were very persuasive to entice you in. One such place employed a man to wear a white gown every night and spin around in time to droll music. He didn’t particularly show any passion, speed or enthusiasm, but this drew a crowd every night we passed. A popular dish is a lamb roast in a clay pot, which they make quite a ceremony of by setting it alight in the street for everyone to see by tapping on it with a large knife and encourage everyone to clap along before smashing it.   

Virtual Video

It seems that we’re doing everything virtually lately. We’re being forced to use the internet; whether it’s to chat to friends and family via video, go to the pub or even do exercise classes. People have even upload soundtracks of ‘pub ambience’ to YouTube; and the Grand National was virtual this year. We even tried a virtual meeting; though it was confusing as to who should speak and when while most people were struggling to master the technology. At the moment, most people are sharing their frustrations rather than what can be accomplished. What worries me is that when this is all over; will people want to go back to the old ways? Or are we more likely to be a home-based society now? I think it depends on the experience. Those who have suffered poor service at the hands of the delivery men are more likely to return to the old ways; while others may have found a new way of life.

Chariots of Fire

Just over the road was the blue mosque so we wandered in to take a look. The courtyard was full of trees and green spaces, but Mum had to collect a shroud from a nearby stand before we could enter. We weren’t allowed in the main entrance as it was undergoing refurbishment, and we also had to cover our footwear with plastic bags. Inside, there were corridors leading off to areas for private worship, and a large carpeted area for men only dominated the centre. Because of the refurbishment, there wasn’t much to see of the infrastructure and dome so we couldn’t really get a sense of how big the building was. It did look like some people were actually sleeping in the building. We decided to continue our walk to the Obelisk of Theodosius which marks the remains of the city’s hippodrome. A paved road suggests where the chariots might have raced.

Doctor Who (Series 12)

It was great to see the series open with a bang; though having the Doctor re-assigned to MI5 did seem a bit odd. I thought it would have been a bit more fun to re-introduce a new UNIT, and that the only reason that they did use the spy theme was to make use of gadgets; which seemed a bit cheap. But then again, it did give Ryan and Yaz the ability to snoop around while the Doctor investigated her new arch-nemesis. The third episode seemed a little boring as it seemed to do more of the same old thing; and I felt that it was Midnight re-written. But the return of the Judoon together with an appearance from Captain Jack were amazing (though his warning was slightly over-exaggerated). I loved the Doctor scolding the Troop Leader and there were so many storylines in that episode that could be explored further. I thought it fantastic that Chibnall decided to pursue some of them in the series finale. Praxeus was an interesting episode and I did wonder how it was permitted to air because of the escalating COVID-19 pandemic. And I would have liked to have learnt more about Ashad’s origin but I guess that’s for another series. I wonder if the Doctor will meet him in his past and think, ‘Yeah, I know his fate, I can just leave him to it’.  

Turkish Tipple after the Hagia Sophia

We decided to spend our first day at the Hagia Sophia, a beautiful jumbled building consisting of domed towers and tall turrets pointing to the sky. I often thought of them as missiles but maybe I’d been playing too many computer games. It was nearby and we’d read that it attracts large queues. Outside, a large paved square with benches separated the church from the road alongside a large fountain which was lit up at night. We managed to walk straight in past the touts posing as guides offering tours and through the large oak double doors. In the marble centre was a giant urn where we posed for photographs and a private chapel with gated iron windows. One face of the church was closed was restoration but the rest was stunning with its differing colours and paintings depicting different religions over the ages. I particularly liked the staircase to a podium with its own spire portraying the ascension to the heavens. The view upstairs was brilliant as light was pouring in through the arches. Through one window you could see the nearby blue mosque, our next destination. In the gardens, there was an archaeological museum dating the age of various pillars and tombs. 

Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful, that's what matters to me.

We’re all born without a penny to our name. And you can’t take it with you afterwards, so what will you do with it in the meantime? Buying your own mausoleum to demonstrate your success may seem a great idea, but if others don’t value it then eventually there’ll be no-one left to ensure its heritage. It’ll be flattened to make room so that others can shape the earth as they see fit. If you’ve truly contributed to this world, then people will choose to remember you in their own way and may even contribute their own resources so that they feel a part of your tribute. If you’re happy and confident to say that you’ve helped the world progress during your time on earth; you can truly rest at peace. You can’t escape death, but in the meantime, it’s up to you whether you die a plutocrat or a pauper; though others may have greater grievances if you display the latter. Don’t count your coins. Make your coins count.

Out of our Ears

It’s the time of the year to test out those mince pies. We buy a box from a different supplier each week then stock up on our favourite ones when they’re on offer. Interestingly, the use-by date is only a month which causes problems when you want to buy them for the big day. So why are they so readily available but expire before Christmas? It’s madness. It’s also a family policy to only purchase pies with booze in them. This year they’ve produced rum ones. We went through three boxes in a month but after that there was no sign of them. It was Cointreau only. Were people getting too drunk from them? But our habits have inspired others. Is it because alcoholic butters are harder to get hold of and is the next best thing? Don’t worry, the Easter eggs will be on the shelves once we’ve run out.

Hack the Hacker

They know what you’re doing. Either that or they’re taking an educated guess. They’re so confident that they’ll expose you if you don’t do as they say. But have they really got the data that they claim to have? Is it an od password from a collapsed site that you don’t use any more? All it takes is for them to stumble upon a tiny bit of information to convince you. But then you realise that they’re doing it to everyone. All those spam e-mails with dodgy links that you receive from people that you know. If your data is current, all it takes is a quick bit of maintenance to secure everything and maybe consider changing some passwords. Then all they’re left with is a waste of their own time. They’re back to their mother’s basement to comb cookies for the next week spot. If they do expose you, maybe it’s a good thing. It’s a chance for people to truly show whether they care what you get up to, and maybe it’s a chance for someone to decide if you do need help before things get worse. Don’t give up!

Sleeping at the Seraglio

We’re greeted by a friendly hotel clerk in a small but comfortable, clean and plush lobby. A carpeted marble hallway leads past a small courtyard with an iron table and some chairs for a smoking and communal area. Each pair of rooms had an external door so that a family suite could be quickly created if necessary. Our room was clean and comfortable and had all the modern amenities. It looked out onto a cobbled street and there wasn’t much life apart from the call to prayer to the nearby blue mosque. Breakfast was served in the tiled basement alongside a TV showing Turkish pop videos. It was a continental buffet and every day I somehow managed to make a mess of the hot drinks machine or jam up the cereal dispenser. But a chef would always be on hand to cook an omelette of our choosing. There was also complimentary Turkish tea and coffee on the rooftop terrace; though this was a work in progress and the cake served was very dry. The view wasn’t brilliant but you could get a glimpse of the city and bond with your fellow guests. It was an attempt.

What's the biggest financial mistake you see people make all the time?

Buying something that they can’t afford. Too many times I’ve seen people handing over shiny credit cards for their purchases without doing the maths to see if they can pay it all back. You’ll see fancy hatchbacks outside flats, bent and scratched by in others in jealously because of the carelessness of the neighbourhood. People just want to impress others by having the latest kit. They’ll live in squalor but they just want to show off. After all, it’s a material world. But before they know it, they can’t maintain it. The bill comes and they have to sell it on to pay their regular bills. The necessities like food and rent. So then it’s onto the pawn shop to make that quick buck to keep them going and absorb and delay the cost. In the meantime, they’ve still got to pay for it with interest; which someone else is making a living off of. So it always pays to know what the fee is going to be; and to disappoint them by paying it off before the due date. 

Turkish Delight

We’d booked a week to see the city of Istanbul. I was quite happy with a hotel and a flight, but Mum insisted that we get protected and get ourselves a package deal. Once we’d arrived at the airport, we collected our luggage and tried to find the right office that would organise the hotel that we’d paid for. We walked past a long line of booths and ours was at the very end. We then had to wait while our driver was being booked, and someone would come and find us. After twenty minutes we were asked to follow someone who rounded up other people and we headed off to a minibus. The driver gave us maps of the area then stopped off at a gas station before he began to make the drops. We also offered us bottled water which no-one accepted. We got a glimpse of the Blue Mosque before arriving at our hotel which was on a narrow-cobbled street. 

Smooth Operator #devilsdaughter13

As Luke returned from the bathroom, he could hear a sweet voice growing louder that could only be Lucinda’s. He turned away from the dressing suite and followed the voice. Along the way, he passed dressing gowns that looked like they’d been dropped on the floor. As he got closer, whole racks had been pushed aside. It looked like Lucinda had made her own way to the counter. He turned the corner to see her wearing a blue kimono that had become a tank-top rather than a gown.

‘Madam, you are standing on a four thousand-dollar Vivienne Westwood. The creases that have occurred means that it is no longer saleable.’

‘Never mind that, why haven’t you got any Gucci in my size?’ 

‘I will kindly telephone Mr. Michele to see what can be done but I regret that I cannot assist you today.’

Luke walked over to the counter and slapped down his credit card and a hundred-dollar bill. ‘See that you do’ he said.

Story Sparkers

Story Sparkers: A Creativity Guide for Children's Writers by Marcia Thornton Jones
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This simple guidebook is surprisingly up-to-date and contains all the elements you need to approach the subject of children’s writing, from choosing your theme all the way to the final draft. It even gives great tips in how to criticise the works of others! It does touch on the on-line world; though it does mostly rely on the pan and paper method, possibly because that there’s a risk of referencing outdated material. It could be said that the author refers to too many other authors for examples and sources, and not all of them are recognisable in the international market (though they are best-sellers). There’s also a lack of contacts to approach; though the author would probably appreciate readers making their own so as not to interrupt their business! Now onto the exercises, which can be confusing to follow at times as they’re often printed out of sync to the pages. But the energy and tips that Jones suggests are fantastic! Time to get scribbling!

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Coronavirus Testing #dreamdiary89

I’ve decided to get myself tested for coronavirus, and I’ve booked an appointment at a drive-in centre. I arrive at the location which is at the back of an industrial estate. There is no-one about and it’s very quiet. There isn’t even a queue. all I can see are some metallic industrial barrels stacked up on the corner of the road, with a bricked building with two wooden doors opposite. I drive over, wind down my window and peer inside. One barrel is full of blue disposal plastic gloves. Protruding out of another is a long, thin black plastic pole with a plastic lid on top. On top of this is a light piece of perspex, a bit like a microscope slide. I then receive a text message: ‘You have arrived at the government coronavirus testing centre; please place a piece of your skin on the glass then make your way home. Your results will be e-mailed to you’. It’s more akin to aliens trying to hide my DNA.

Bathams Best Bitter at the King & Castle, Kidderminster

This pub has all the perks. It’s in a traditional train waiting room with pictures of posters and routes to destinations by previous operators. Four real ales are pulled from an antique stand and all the staff wear traditional formal uniforms. The room is laid out with pew seating with some smaller tables and chairs towards the other side. A second room serves dinner while a grand reception room is used for functions. There’s also a small museum to explore while you’re waiting for your train. We called here as part of a Worcestershire pub crawl and wandered into the railway gift shop while we were waiting for the others to sup up. I was glad to bump into a friend from Birmingham, who was volunteering his services as shopkeep. The early Halloween preparations looked fantastic, and I would have loved to have come back here to experience their ghost train.

A Dodgy Deal from the Garden House

It was time for the weekly takeaway and we fancied a Chinese this time. We wanted someone that delivers and our regular place wasn’t open. We had a look on Just Eat and found one in a village five miles away that delivers. It had a similar menu to our own so we placed an order for a King Prawn Chow Mein and a Special Curry, which had the option of having rice or chips included. We got lumbered with a delivery charge and a service charge, and this should have been mentioned with the restaurant listing rather than finding it out at the end. We got an ETA which expired then as we checked progress the app updated and said that it had been delivered. We searched the porch, then as we prepared to call the restaurant, a man did pull up and leave a beg in our porch. Maybe he’d pressed the wrong button on his delivery device. We unpacked the order to find chicken instead of King Prawn and no rice with the special curry. Having waited over an hour, we just put it down to a loss and tucked in as it would take longer for the restaurant to correct the order. I consulted the app afterwards and pressed the appropriate button which told me I’d get a half-price refund. I’ve yet to receive this. I’ve since discovered that this restaurant has an address in King’s Heath. Maybe it wasn’t set up correctly? But as they got the order wrong anyway, we won’t be giving them a second chance. Perhaps Just Eat needs to work on their reliability rather than their advertising.

Holden's Golden Glow at the Fleet Inn, Holt Heath

The next pub was less than a mile away, and the easiest route was to walk down the hill and round the bend. The Fleet is an imposing country pub with fine dining and looked as though it was more suited for weddings. Lounge chairs dominated the front room After ordering drinks, we took them through the dining room where lunch was just ending.  and out onto the terrace where we could see the river. As it was in full flow, we were encouraged to stay there but a picnic bench was stacked on top of another on the riverbank to discourage people to sit there. However, my friend was tall enough to use it as a bar stool. Another friend arrived and this called for more drinks and some crisps; but it turned out that he couldn’t stay for the duration and just called in for one. As the afternoon moved on, we decamped in preparation for our next destination.

Publicity Packs

Call me sceptical but I’m starting if these so-called goodwill stunts are only occurring to draw publicity to local businesses. For starters, you have to wonder how they’ve managed to get their hands on so many golden ticket items in the first place. They’ve either got someone in the know; or they’ve braved the stampede to grab the rest of these items to deprive other pensioners or other people obtaining them for pensioners. And again, call me sceptical but pasta and rice doesn’t seem to be a stable food for a pensioner; it’s more for students. And it’ll taste a bit bland on its own, though I suppose a tin of something added to it would sort it all out. I’m actually concerned because an elderly person would be more likely to scald themselves by cooking pasta or cut themselves on an open tin. They’d be better off with a ready meal; at least you can’t cook yourself on plastic. 

Marston's Wainwright at the Old Beams, Stourport-on-Severn

We’d arrived at the Old Beams, a stunning timber house with a traditional front lawn beer garden. Luckily, I managed to avoid a round as the glazed one went straight onto the whisky served by an indifferent young bartender. We sat outside soaking up the sun and chatted to some of the locals about our intentions today. My friend suddenly wanted us to sup up as two others were expected to join us, and rather than get them to stop here, our new plan was to hi-jack the taxi and drop us all off at the next pub. This would save our shoes and a bit of walking as it was still wet. We’d now arrived at the Red Lion and had a bit of a wait to be served as we waited for various barrels to be changed. Then we sat in the rear garden underneath a terrace and tried to come up with a plan for the rest of the day.

Shutter Island

This film would have been more entertaining with ghosts rather than people with psychological issues. I thought I spotted the missing patient straight away in the cabbage patch as the agents approach the hospital for the first time; only she’s aged drastically. That would have been an excellent plotline to investigate. I loved the movements of the other patients; they were like zombies. It’s a shame that there isn’t a mass horde attack when the power goes down. It’s baffling that the hospital staff are confrontational unless of course; they were already in the spoiler and are fed up of going through the same motions. I also found the dreams confused and annoying as they didn’t seem to relate to the main plot. It might be one of those films that you have to watch a second time and learn more with foresight. Before watching this film, I mistook it for another with a similar title whose names eludes me. It will be interesting to see how the two compare.

The Old Boy Expedition

We’d been planning this expedition for months. It was to be an epic ramble across the west of the county while calling in at some hostelries. We’d planned to do it wearing dinner jackets but the floods had come in recently so I wasn’t prepared to risk my clobber. Maybe I should have bought some charity shop stuff. Instead, I’d arrived in full rambler gear complete with map and compass. I drove to my friend’s house where I’d been stopping the evening, and we got on the beer as soon as I’d arrived. I got introduced to his other friend who came up from London and looked a bit glazed already. It turned out that he’d stopped over at his parent’s house the night before and went to catch up with his friends. ‘Good luck’ they said when my friend went to pick him up. The first pub wasn’t too far away, so we walked over, cans in hand. An apparent opportunity for a shortcut came up through an old people’s home to cut off the corner of the road. I think this guy has forgotten about country values.

I was fascinated by people who are considered completely normal, because I find them the weirdest of all.

-Johnny Depp.

Is it right to be normal? Since we’re not living in normal times, it’s hard to say. For some people, it’s business as normal as they spend most of their time curled up at home anyway. Others may find times a little busier and a little stranger. But what is normal anyway? Perhaps it’s living up to the stereotypes that we’re expected to. Everyone’s doing the same things for their age and circumstances. You can probably predict what that person gets up to; though the view could be taken from one extreme to the other with anything between. But that’s just boring. There’s no story or conflict and people have heard it all before. It’s akin to just sitting around in the house all day. Someone who observes rather than takes part. But find that one person who’s just a little bit different and has a bit of uniqueness in them and you’ve got someone very interesting indeed. And if you can’t strive to make others take an interest in you, then you’re just weird.

Are we really on a Sinking Ship?

It certainly seems so. Supermarket shelves are empty at the moment; though at best with popular supplies rather than the end of trade agreements that the Remainers predicted. But there still seems to be a lot of speculation about what will happen as opposed to what actually happens. Different ministers are reported as saying different things, which is causing a lot of confusion as to who is in charge now. Even the opposition has very little to say. In a way we certainly don’t seem to be plunging after package after package is announced to protect this and that industry, and the world slowly keeps on turning. But are we still relying on our neighbours because we’re still not Brexit ready? Will we have a huge bill to pay once this is over? Or, while we are all united for once, is now the time to think those plans through to go it alone?

Female of the Species

Sometimes you’ll do anything to help a girl, especially if she’s blonde. She’s got short bright hair in a half ponytail and talks in a very posh accent. She’s a little on the chubby side but still has curves in all the right places. And she makes a lovely cup of tea in the morning. So, when she asks me to cover her shifts so that she can focus on her college work I’m happy to oblige; all in the aid of horticultural studies. But then then she shifts change and suddenly I’m doing more work than I should. I try to clarify if this upsets her plan but the language gets vulgar and she wants to still go ahead. I attempt to suggest a few changes to make things easier for the both of us but it just gets more complicated to organise and it all seems to be my mistake. In future, I’ll have to make her work a bit more (whoever it is) before she gets what she wants. 

The Last Cornetto

We were on a mission. We’d been touring the Cotswolds and the valley, and because we were on holiday, we’d made it a rule to eat an ice cream every day. And because we were on a self-guided tour of filming locations for the movie Hot Fuzz, we’d decided that the trip wouldn’t be complete without eating a Cornetto. In the towns this was simple enough as we’d always find a newsagent that had an ice cream freezer. But as we approached the end of the tour, we’d realised that we hadn’t come across the mint flavour Cornetto. On the final day we’d arranged to meet friends in Milton Keynes, and after lunch we decided to try and hunt one down. We found several shops that might sell ice cream, but not one of them sold the mint variety. Luckily, we needed fuel for the final leg to get home, and as we’d stopped at Tesco it seemed only right that we should check out the supermarket as well. Amazingly, we’d managed to find a box of 4. We went to the local reservoir to consume two right away, then pulled into Stratford-upon-Avon to eat the remains of the others. 

What Job Interview Question tripped you up the most?

It has to be ‘What is your greatest weakness? If your interviewer has a sense of humour, a one-word answer like chocolate might buy you some time but it’s not the answer that they’re looking for. I know that the strategy to this question is to demonstrate that you’re constantly striving to develop yourself and improve your weaknesses. A single mention of them illustrates that you’re not willing to change. An interview is an opportunity for both parties to get to know each other, but your brain constantly must be on the ball in an interview to work this time to your advantage. A lot of time in interview preparation is spent rehearsing answers to questions that the interviewer might not even ask. The trouble is that if you don’t have an answer prepared for any question then answering questions could be your weakness; which isn’t great when the boss wants a progress report. All you can do is envision the script; and have a rehearsed set of examples that can be applied practically to any question; ideally different situations emphasising different skills.