Goldielocks

He sits like a gummy bear on his pedestal while meditating. At first glance, he looks like he’s got a bling chain spelling out the word ‘LIFE’ beneath his jacket, but on closer inspection it’s actually a swastika. It’s no wonder that the Nazi Party decided to rotate this symbol forty-five degrees to disrupt this intended symbol of peace. He also wears a red armband to show that he’s a paid-up resident to get into the all-you-can-eat buffet, and there’s also discs behind his hand that he could be getting ready to throw at you. There must be a fair bit of gold in it, though that shouldn’t bother the Buddhists. It’s mounted up high to stop people from getting up there easily and it could be a wooden statue painted gold for all we know. I like the hair. I wonder if it’s made out of brushes so that it’s easier to maintain. Those candles look a bit more like light bulbs than a proper wick and flame though. Considering it’s a Jade Temple, there’s not that much of it on display.