Bones the Librarian

This guy would make a fantastic librarian. You can just picture him getting up at night; opening his glass case and stepping out to select a book to read for the following day. He’d be cautious at first, making sure that the coast is clear before he decides to turn the page. And one day a young security guard discovers him on him on his first night shift. They’d both be freaked out at first but eventually decide to become friends. Then the security guard finds out that he reads the papers at night; and becomes a bit of an archivist. This becomes an instant hit with the security guard’s pub team, and they reach league fame when they dress him up to join the team. Then the pub’s dog gets a whiff of things and wants a bite of the action. Before he knows it; the secret is out; the world’s first living animated skeleton is out living the dream and becomes a chat show host for the world to see. It’s kind of a British Night at the Museum, and Simon Pegg would be great as the security guard. Found in Norwich Castle.

Make your own past

While visiting Norwich castle in April, I stumbled on an exhibition entitled The Seven Sorrows Of Mary. It sounded like an interesting title to write about at the time; and so I took a coupe of pictures of the plaque. Unfortunately, I didn't take a picture  of the stained glass windows, so there is little hope in finding out what The Seven Sorrows are. So all that is presented is the fact that Christ fled to Egypt and was crucified shortly afterwards. So there is no reference whatsoever to what the sorrows actually are; there is only a reference to how the painting was commissioned and who painted it for whom. So from this enticing title; all we can actually follow is historical evidence of a painter rather than a story, which would have been much more interesting. And who said history is fun? Sometimes it's better to make it up yourself. 

Ask and you shall receive...

I had another strange dream last night which I vaguely remember the ending. So I was having an argument with someone about how something should be done and as I was a superior; I denied the request. I can only think that I was a monk as I was wearing a white dressing gown – perhaps because I’ve been reading the Pillars of the Earth lately. Anyway, my inferior was unhappy with my decision and decided to take it to the next level. He draws back a golden door to reveal a bed, then jumps onto the bed and jumps up onto another bed where God is sleeping. I then think of this as ringing heaven’s doorbell and decide that this must be blasphemy as I’m not sure that’s how it works. But our monk then wakes God up and at least gets an answer; whether it’s the right one I don’t know. So this surely means that if you don’t ask; you’ll never know, but if you do ask then at least you’ll get a response. But in terms of speaking to the Almighty, hmm….reflection?

Think about what you're buying!

I had a lovely couple of ladies in to see me today about their garden fencing. The problem was that we didn’t have any in stock, and there was limited stock from other stores. The problem was that they weren’t entirely sure how many sets they would need. She explained that she was trying to plant a few at a time when she had some time available. I pointed out that the best thing for her to do was to measure up the remaining fencing to determine how many sets she would need. But apparently she’s no good at that and wouldn’t know where to start. Now I’m sorry, but if you’re not going to tell us what you need when things are in short supply; then I can’t give you the best advice. People do need to take some responsibility here; and can’t expect that we can magic things out of the air just because you’re feeling lazy. Think before you buy!

Here's to Harvington...

I quite enjoy looking at grand old buildings, and on a hike I recently visited Harvington Hall. It’s a lovely old building on the outskirts of Kidderminster, with a moat surrounding the hall with a disguised stone bridge. If you like watching ducks and geese, it’s a great place to visit in the Spring to see the hatchlings. The caretaker has gone to great lengths to keep the gardens in shape, though the triangular trees surrounding the footpath look artificial. It must be ripe with historical drawing rooms and secret tunnels inside; possibly leading to the outside quarry where the bricks must have came from. There is also a small church (St. Mary’s) and farm within the grounds. The farm is a bit unfortunate as it blocks the most direct public footpath and walkers have to walk around it to visit the hall. The hall is open to the public but the hours are limited. 

Say cheese...

So last night was cheese club. The idea is simple – you bring some cheese or a deli item to the sharing table; say no more than £3, buy yourself a drink and tuck into the feast on offer. There was absolutely tons of the stuff. There was homemade bread, turkey and ham pie, spring rolls, garlic sausage and at least eight different cheeses. I quite favoured the one that I donated the most; an aged red Leicester cheese from Sainsbury’s. But the strangest thing was that there was not a single cracker to be found on the table. We had Wensleydale, Mexican cheese, stilton and cheddar, but not a single cracker was present. How bizarre. But the oddest thing of the evening was the conversation I had with the landlord telling me how Aldi has some great deals on their deli counter; and  even presented me with a copy of their latest sales brochure. Time to go continental. 

I witnessed a nightmare!

Last night was one of those dark nights where I was actually afraid to shut my eyes. As I lay in my bed dark nightmares came into my head and I knew that they were going to be unpleasant dreams. The strange thing was that I could actually see black blots moving across the ceiling. So did I witness the invasion of a nightmare? I focused hard on the image and I made out a face with a black beard. I considered diving underneath the cover to hide from it, but then I remembered that it can’t physically hurt me. I thought about reading a book to distract my brain but that meant getting up again. So instead I chose to wrap myself up tight and ignore it. Consequently, I had quite a dreamless sleep. But the fact that I spotted a nightmare meant that I was able to divert myself away from a night of worry.