The Ploughman's Plague

Last night in the pub I felt a bit peckish. After dismissing the filled rolls I cast my eye over to the crisps shelf and saw a Ploughman’s lunch. I sacrificed a pound to see the contents; expecting ham flavoured crackers and shaped cheese nibbles. What was actually in the bag actually astounded me. Within the packet was another packet containing two square wafers. Next to that was a triangle of processed Happy Cow cheese wrapped in foil. There then followed another little plastic packet containing four small pickled onions. Finally, the manufacturers had decided to include a tiny plastic knife to spread my cheese on my wafers. How this little merriment was meant to satisfy Farmer John after a hard morning at work in the fields is a complete mystery! It was as if Mrs John had had an argument the night before and had refused to make Farmer John’s sandwiches, so he drove to  B & M bargains and picked a pack of these up instead. Avoid like the plague!