Arse Four Nal Zero

Last night was an evening of hopes and dreams in the Midlands. There are many different football teams across our nation but millions of football fans stood united in the hope that the underdogs would manage to defeat what a German businessman had lying around in his pocket. Prince William also had a tough gig last night. Not only did he have to hand out the losing medals to his favourite football club; he also had to hand out the winning medals to the team that beat them. Obviously he is a public figure and has a responsibility to accept defeat with good grace; but you could tell in his expression that he wasn't in the best of moods. He also had to stand next to a load of football executives; all of whom looked like they were trying to sit as far away from him as possible. Never mind; it’ll be business as usual next week walking around village fetes and kissing grannies. 

The Ploughman's Plague

Last night in the pub I felt a bit peckish. After dismissing the filled rolls I cast my eye over to the crisps shelf and saw a Ploughman’s lunch. I sacrificed a pound to see the contents; expecting ham flavoured crackers and shaped cheese nibbles. What was actually in the bag actually astounded me. Within the packet was another packet containing two square wafers. Next to that was a triangle of processed Happy Cow cheese wrapped in foil. There then followed another little plastic packet containing four small pickled onions. Finally, the manufacturers had decided to include a tiny plastic knife to spread my cheese on my wafers. How this little merriment was meant to satisfy Farmer John after a hard morning at work in the fields is a complete mystery! It was as if Mrs John had had an argument the night before and had refused to make Farmer John’s sandwiches, so he drove to  B & M bargains and picked a pack of these up instead. Avoid like the plague!

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Not my favourite book in the series; but still a very entertaining and important book. We learn more of Harry’s family history, and clues are discovered bit by bit in order for the tri-wizard trio to make their deductions about the latest events in the wizarding world. We meet the Knight Bus, which seems quite a logical method of transport at present for witches and wizards to get around. We’re also given fantastic details about witch trials; mythical creatures who the characters acknowledge as just present in their society; and more amazing spells and feats. The conclusion however, is so barmy and unexpected that even Dumbledore does not dare to interfere; for fear of his authority being questioned. Rowling’s narrative is so addictive and fast paced that the reader isn’t even given a chance to ponder the character’s actions; and instead is thrown into the next chapter as more exciting details of the magical universe are unleashed upon us.

A pre-emptive Future... Of Sorts.

Last night I had a very bizarre dream. I was at someone's house in Banbury when I realised that I didn't have my phone with me. Luckily I had an on-line tracker, but instead of being St home it was on the move around my home town. The funny thing was that I actually forgot my phone this morning, and I really could have used it today as my colleague was late and I had no other way of contacting him to find out where he was. I also had to send some documents over, and due to the limited technology the only way that I could do it was to take a picture using a phone then emailing them to my work account. I knew that I had forgotten it as soon as I left the house; but I would have been late if I had turned round and went back to collect it. Spooky!

Saturday with everyone

I had a great day out on Saturday. After washing the vans at work and finishing on time; I headed home and straight for a power nap. Then after a refreshing sleep it was time for a shower ready for Dad's birthday meal. I was in and out just in time and we were very impressed with the Mercedes with leather seats that turned up to collect us. I did tell the driver that Dad wasn't to know where we going but we still took a very long route to arrive there. However; the fare was very reasonable and the meal was absolutely brilliant. We had prawn crackers on arrival with our drinks while we waited for my brother and there was lots of choice when the starters arrived. I managed a bit of everything and even two mains but I was absolutely stuffed afterwards. Then it was a mile walk to the other end of the village for a few evening drinks with friends.

AGM Report

Paul Richards and the Missing Potter Book

Somewhere in the dark corners of the United Kingdom lies a missing book in my collection. It was last seen in Wales, where I lent it to a friend in exchange for lecture notes. Now, ten years have passed; and that book has still not found its way home to fill a gap in my collection. The title: Harry Potter. The subject: The Chamber of Secrets. This was one of the scariest books of the series considering Harry’s age at this time; being haunted by Tom Riddle’s diary and accumulating in a gigantic snake roaming the corridors of our beloved school. We discover Harry’s dark powers and also that of Voldemort’s past. I don’t remember too much and I also dozed off when the film came out; so I really need the book back to refresh my memory of Potter’s early days. That said, there is still plenty of academic charm and scholastic rivalry to keep us entertained.