I would wonder how much I’ve had to drink or who the underwear drawer is. Would it be someone with a hidden microphone who can see me? That would be a bit kinky when I’m rooting around for my smalls. It would be animate and open and close as it speaks. I would have to force it to talk every time I needed a fresh pair. It’s quite lucky that it only contains clean clothes. It would tell me when I’m running low as it would feel cold and hungry. It would give me life advice as I laid in bed and we would have long talks into the night. I’d be given a plan to improve things. Or it might not hear me so it would just talk constantly until I’d gaffer tape it shut. People would ask me why I’m not sleeping and they’d be absolutely baffled by my answer. It would be really bored during the day so I’d have to leave the TV or radio on so that it would have something to listen to. It would watch the news for me and summarise it for me in a comedic style. Imagine the chaos it would cause when I leave it with a smart speaker. It would be constantly plotting to lure as many people to my room as possible or get me to refurnish it or move it to a better house. And it would be really creepy.
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