Thursday, 21 August 2025

What's the latest football news?

The problem with this is that it’s such a broad question. Am I going to have to tell her the teams that I’m interested in? Is she going to look up the nearest local match and tell me the scores? Or is she going to read out the transfer headlines? I actually get international news in a monotone voice with quotes from a coach that I’ve never heard of. There’s also an in-depth analysis, as if I’m preparing to place a bet, and they seem to be interviewing anyone possible from every angle. It's as if she’s attempting a summary of the headlines on the same topic from different sources. There’s no other matches happening. Will I get something else if I ask again? Six hours later, I give it another go. I get news of a different country, this time it’s analysis of a match in progress but it’s not clear who they’re playing.

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