Sunday, 31 August 2025

The Truth about Secrets

Some are lies dreamt up by people to avoid attention. They don’t want you to know the truth so they throw distractions. Some of them are revealed eventually like hiding gifts for Christmas or birthdays. Others are more devastating when you hear the excuses that people come up with when they don’t want to tell you the truth. They’ll try to deflect you from asking the truth with a list of tasks that they want you to complete while they think of a genuine excuse that can be backed by a convincing alibi which prevents you from pursuing the subject any further. We don’t really know what goes behind the doors of Area 51. Is it a host site for aliens or is it really a site for advanced technology? If it’s the former then someone would have surely blabbed by now. But be warned; the truth can hurt. They may be doing you a kindness by not telling it to you.

Saturday, 30 August 2025

Zip it up!

They’re handy things. It’s good to pull things together and it’s very easy when they’re working. When they’re not or if there’s a jam,  it just takes too long to adjust and it’s very tempting to just throw the whole thing out. You’ve also got to wonder whether it’s lighter to strap a load of metal to your chest or to add more material. Then you’ve got to hope that people can use it. It’s easier to do it yourself that reverse it on front of another person. But for children it encourages more hugs as you wrap your arms around them to fasten it up. One day they’ll be big enough to do it for themselves or they might be too big for you to do it, but you hope it doesn’t come to that. You hope that the process doesn’t wear you out either. With a bit of luck, you’ll have some help.


Friday, 29 August 2025

Costa Lota

I had to get up early today for an appointment so I decided to get breakfast on the way back and popped into the coffee shop. I had to add to my balance otherwise my points would be deleted and unclaimable. After clarifying what a certain coffee was, I decided to do the bacon and coffee deal. Rather than it being a fresh bacon roll, I was asked to pick up a pre-packaged one out of a fridge for the barista to heat up. Then it was a question of which offer to use. There was one of them that I couldn’t use with the breakfast deal. Then I couldn’t get the drink that I wanted with the breakfast deal. It was all so restrictive and I ended up with a micro portion. Still, it did the job with the large beverage, but it wasn’t as great as I remembered it to be. Perhaps it’ll be another year before I’m back.

Thursday, 28 August 2025

I am Jane, hear me roar!

Little monkey doesn’t want to be left out. She understands that sometimes she has to give up her share of the limelight; but she wants to make her presence known. She works hard to make sure that she’s not forgotten. She’s even got a matching jacket so that she feels like she’s a part of her life like being in a team. She’s managed to get herself to a higher position to get herself in the frame. She knows that she might be interrupting her big sister’s golden moment but who can resist that cheeky smile? She’s done something brave to get where she is and she’s enjoyed the journey and what she’s achieved. They both love posing, especially when they’re in an area built just for them and it’s going to be difficult for grown-ups to come and get them. But they know that they till have to follow their rules if they want to be fed, watered and sheltered.


Wednesday, 27 August 2025

The Secret Garden (2020)

This is a great classic escapist film to fall asleep to on a sunday afternoon complete with a classical music soundtrack. It’s set on a classic english manor estate which must be enormous which is why all other countries think that all British people are elitist millionaires who live this way. I’ve not read the book so I can’t appreciate the childlike wonder of the characters, but I don’t think that the film was aimed at younger viewers anyway. The characters are portrayed as brats. The animation is amazing, and Jemima is very well trained. I particularly enjoyed the Avatar effect where plants came into blossom as the children ran into the garden and withered away as they retreated in times of peril. But it’s a bit unrealistic as to how far Mrs Medlock’s voice carries such a vast distance into the garden. I’d like to think that the film concludes with all the characters camping in the garden while they wait for the manor to be rebuilt; but it doesn’t look like that’s realistic.

Tuesday, 26 August 2025

That's the tooth

She’s got no neck, but a cheeky grin. Her coat must be caught on a rope and she’s ducked down to free herself. There’s quite a few golden buttons and there’s nothing for them to fasten. I hope the coat’s not lifted up to expose something else. At least she hasn’t got any fear of falling. The head’s getting ready to erupt and shoot out. But when she’s taking her own photos, she can do what she wants. She’s happy and I’m happy so long as she doesn’t drop the phone. She could be on a ship’s rig if it wasn’t for the fact that there were trees behind her. She might even have a twig in her hair. She’s stuck but she’s enjoying the experience of being outside with company. It’s a good job that she’s not trying to be a trapeze artist. Unlike the other one who’s a right little monkey.


Monday, 25 August 2025

Bigger is Better #vampress 24

But who should she pick? Perhaps she would hold try-outs. Perhaps it was time to show herself at night to see what the lay of the land was. Or would it be safer to find someone she could trust. She would have to get to know the people under her power to see who the better ones were. For the first time, she would have to pay attention to them to learn who were the most skilled. She suddenly realised how alone she felt. They all worked together to serve her and she didn’t know any of them. She sighed. Maybe she should introduce herself to them gently. Tease them into what she wanted them to do and gage their reaction. She should start with the bigger ones first to see what their stamina was like since there were plenty of them about. A lot of them worked on the farm and had great big muscles.

Sunday, 24 August 2025

Restricted Sight

It’s like looking through a small slit in your eyes, but what’s actually happened is that the camera has been stuffed down the hood inside of someone’s jacket. It’s a view of the floor. You can make out the autumnal leaves. It looks a bit like rubbish, which you wouldn’t want to see at a children’s playground. There’s a lot of pale brown at the bottom which can only be skin. The rest of the image is light into darkness. It’s like you’re stuck inside a refuse sack. Hopefully you’ll catch the phone before it falls out completely. As we climb higher, the images could be something else. The white blob in the centre could be a child’s shoe. To the left of it, it looks like a hand. It could be a glove grasping a banana skin rather than a leaf. Alarmingly, the object on the left could be a knife.

 

Saturday, 23 August 2025

First hostages being released as part of Gaza peace deal

Why have this terrorist group been allowed to occupy Gaza in the first place? It baffles everyone why this has been going on for so long. I expect that there’s relief for the families as well as resentment at their governments for taking so long. I wonder if they’ll sell out their story. There’ll be pictures of hugs. It was very frustrating last time they did this as they were paraded on a stage. How long will it be for all of them to be released? All you needed was a bit intelligence and you could have taken them out. Is our technology and intelligence really that low for the area? Or is it a case of other countries not willing to invest resources? There’s even rumours of Trump visiting now that it’s safe. Hopefully he’ll stay there. It’s just a PR stunt for him. For his sake, I hope his detail states that it’s too much of a risk.

Friday, 22 August 2025

Hanging Tough

The rear of the park is dedicated to a large football field and a large play area. This is fenced off by a number of colourful metal gates, and in the centre is a small group of low benches for parents to sit and watch the action. The floor is made of a mixture of woodchip ad safety rubber. There’s also a number of sensory instruments like metal tubes to tap and make notes, and an earpiece that stretches to the other side of the playground. In the middle there’s a giant rope spider that kids will be desperate to get to the top of, but it’s designed so that parents can duck in when they get too high and pluck them off when their fear of heights kick in or that can’t seem to get down. There’s also lots of swings and a climbing island with a slide and a fireman’s pole. Plenty to keep the kids active.


Thursday, 21 August 2025

What's the latest football news?

The problem with this is that it’s such a broad question. Am I going to have to tell her the teams that I’m interested in? Is she going to look up the nearest local match and tell me the scores? Or is she going to read out the transfer headlines? I actually get international news in a monotone voice with quotes from a coach that I’ve never heard of. There’s also an in-depth analysis, as if I’m preparing to place a bet, and they seem to be interviewing anyone possible from every angle. It's as if she’s attempting a summary of the headlines on the same topic from different sources. There’s no other matches happening. Will I get something else if I ask again? Six hours later, I give it another go. I get news of a different country, this time it’s analysis of a match in progress but it’s not clear who they’re playing.

Wednesday, 20 August 2025

Park Life

This is a municipal park set just outside the town centre. It’s gated to discourage night parties; though it’s still accessible on foot around the back. Inside, there’s a zigzag car park which is free but causes everyone to park at an angle. There’s an overflow area at the end, but these could be disabled bays to let people get closer to the playground. There’s an island moat for ducks which people are encouraged to feed by purchasing pellets from the shop. There’s also a bandstand which hosts performances in the summer. There’s also some tennis courts, a putting green, and a children’s paddling pool. Occasionally there’s an inflatable slide that you pay an admission fee to use. Next to this is an outdoor self-propelled gym. I’ve only seen kids use it. I’ve never known anyone to train here. Bridges cross a small stream to the rear of the park.


Tuesday, 19 August 2025

Bored by Barber

She’s fairly tall with shoulder-length blonde hair with a bit of meat on her arms and has curves and lady lumps in all the right places. She knows how to flaunt them to get what she wants. But she always has such a bored and tired look about her unless she’s flirting or having a joke with someone. Every syllable that she speaks seems to be a slow whine or that she’s going through the motions as briefly as possible to get it all out of the way. Even her smile is fake at times. She hates waiting but when it comes to wasting time she’ll get the task done as slowly as possible until it’s time to down tools and leave. Then she’ll exit as quickly as possible without taking any responsibility for what she’s left behind. Any idle time will be spent standing around flicking her hair until she’s told to do something else.

Sunday, 17 August 2025

Jellycats

It’s a stuffed orangutang and its name is Pip. It’s small with orange fur and has felt feet in the shape of hearts and horns like zebra stripes. You can’t store anything inside it, and its limbs aren’t articulate for posing. So why is it so fucking expensive? Is it stuffed with real cat fur? Is it the materials used (it is apparently). Or is it because of a certain video trend that makes everyone wants one?. Even beanie babies aren’t that dear. It’s not like it’s a full-sized bear. Perhaps it’s going to absorb liquid and grow. Still, the recipient was happy to have it and it’s one of her favourite gifts that she tells people when they ask her what she got for her birthday. Still, if she does start making her own videos, I can ask for a mention in the credits. I might even receive some revenue.

Saturday, 16 August 2025

Which way now?

If you’re on foot, the sign might be helpful, but it’s actually there for the boats as it doesn’t expect walkers to cover that distance. Maybe it is for the birds, but for everyone else, there’s a great gate that blocks the way. It doesn’t like it’s the right direction to go for King’s Norton. Going straight ahead looks the obvious way, but there’s boats in the background and also a waterfall. You could ask them to move but they might not be there, or they’re also waiting for the lock to open. That might be a lock but it only leads to the upper marina. At first glance it looks like iron because of the shade supplied by the bridge, but as you get closer you realise that it’s wood. All you need to do now is to work out how to open it. Maybe the duck that’s just come from Stratford has all the answers.


Friday, 15 August 2025

Doorbell footage shows blaze erupt at mosque after suspected arson attack

So it’s not just the synagogues that are being attacked; it’s the mosques as well. And it also gets someone some money as they’ve probably sold the footage to the media, unless they’ve posted it online already. It also looks like they tried to destroy the getaway vehicle, although having a printed sign on it isn’t going to help. It looks like it’s advertising a taxi firm. I hope that the police are further ahead than the press with their enquiries. It might be down to a local disagreement rather than a hate crime as described. I also noticed that some of the flags have disappeared off their lampposts recently. I’m not sure if this is a token of respect in regard to recent events, or whether it’s the storm that has blown them away. Hopefully those responsible can be easily identified and paraded around in shame to prevent copycat instances.

Thursday, 14 August 2025

Oh Buoy

Now the dog’s at the bow. You’d think he’d be trained to bark left or right to help steer the boat away from danger. I hope he’s on a lead or he’s well trained and he’s not preparing to jump out and swim to chase ducks. Oddly, the steering’s done at the rear of the boat. I suppose a wheel could be installed at the front but then a pole would have to be run underneath the whole boat to control direction. It’s a weird because a car is controlled from the front as well as some watercraft, so why isn’t this one? Surely you’d get a better view, and you would also be able to steer the way that you want to go rather than in reverse the whole time. The lady passenger sill thinks that the scenery behind them is better. Either that or she doesn’t want to be on camera.


Wednesday, 13 August 2025

The Truth About Power

Everyone wants to exercise it. They become corrupt by its authority. Will you do what you’re supposed to do or will you only work with those who give the most favourable or easiest outcomes and delegate the harder tasks to others? When you use it to help others, it’s a great feeling. But sometimes you have to exercise it to hinder them because that’s your role. You might get enjoyment out of hindering others which is quite sad. The good ones are those who are left feeling guilty afterwards because they know that they’ve hindered someone, even though they know that the other party is in the wrong. The bad ones are the ones that just don’t care. They use their position to bully and cheat the system  to get what they want, even if it means telling lies. It becomes addictive and they attempt to see how far they can exploit it.

Tuesday, 12 August 2025

On the Scent

The dog’s spotted something in the wall. Either that or he’s deliberately avoiding us. Maybe the scent of us is too much. Or maybe something inside the wall is more important. Perhaps he’s smelled our chickens. He might have spotted movement through the hole he’s starring at. Or he could be sniffing the remains of one of our fish dinners or a bird roasting on a spit. He’s confused because he can smell it but he can’t see it. He can sense the movement but he can’t understand how it got there. How long will it be before he starts barking? He seems well behaved at the moment. He’s just trying to figure it out. Will the scent overpower him to make an attempt to jump through the wall? If the coxswain doesn’t keep an eye on him, he won’t know that his dog’s gone. He’ll probably think it’s gone overboard. And if they do, our whole hideout is exposed.

 

Monday, 11 August 2025

A new career path #titanabell 24

The door moved. A small amount of light emerged in its place. There was a similar one to the left which also rested on the floor. Then, as the rest of the silhouette moved in the room, the maid realised what she’d done.

‘Your majesty, a thousand apologies. I had no idea what was going on’

‘-don’t stop. Please’ said the princess. ‘That was amazing. Come in.’

‘I’m not sure I should ma’am. I have duties to perform.’

  ‘Oh, never mind your duties. You work for me now. I’ll pay you beautifully. Come in.’ And with that, the princess wrapped a large hand around her waist and rested a large finger on her shoulder. She lay down on her back on what was left of the mattress and the room shook with a thud. More dust emerged from the rafters. She lifted the maid up towards the ceiling over her two mounds.

Sunday, 10 August 2025

A Crowd Gathers

Now the missus has come up on deck to see what’s going on. From the back of her head, she looks quite young. Certainly fit and agile enough to be able to hop off the boat onto the banks to start winching open the locks. She might be young enough to be the daughter of the coxswain. She doesn’t look like she’s dressed for the cold weather though. Perhaps it’s the smoke that ha driven her out of the cabin. I wonder if anyone else will follow her. There won’t be room for anyone else unless someone mounts the roof. Maybe the coxswain will give a loud tap on the roof and the curtains will part to allow another set of eyes to view. Anything for a bit of entertainment. They might even have something to lob at us like rotten eggs or dirty sponges, though they haven’t exactly got the perfect getaway vehicle.


Saturday, 9 August 2025

Ocean Waves

Will I hear seagulls? Will I be able to select the sound of waves crashing against cliffs? The ocean is usually quite quiet until it gets involved with land. I wonder if an annoying voice is going to come on at some point and tell me that I need to pay to continue. It sounds like quite a calm beach. I think it’s probably the same sound played repeatedly at different volumes and lengths. It’s not hard at all to look out at this at land, but then again a storm is passing through as I listen. I’m interpreting the water hitting the shore as the land. But there’s no seagulls. If you listen for a while, you can just make out a mechanical vibe at the end of each wave. It’s as if a helicopter is passing over in the distance. At other times, it’s like something is trickling out of a beaker.

Friday, 8 August 2025

When I'm 64

…I hope I don’t end up under the bridge. It’s cold and it doesn’t offer much shelter apart from when it rains. Some of it could do with retiling. Perhaps that’s our job. Or maybe the tiled part that’s under the right-hand side opens to reveal a door that stretches into the ground and lets us live in the walls. We’re just locked out at the moment. It’s quite narrow underneath and there’s not much room to let others pass through. It’ll also let in a lot of wind. So we’ve just popped out for a bit of sunshine. We also might be defending our territory. Right below our feet are the beginnings of a hole. Perhaps this is where our bathroom is that you’ve just stepped into. Even the dog on the narrowboat has had to turn his head away in shame. Perhaps the coxswain has come to deliver us some supplies or throw us a few rolls.


Thursday, 7 August 2025

Mitchell and Web Are Not Helping

This was just drivel. This comedic duo have certainly aged, and not for the better. They’re joined by an actor who’s got recognition from starring in another sitcom, and an annoying American who certainly doesn’t help the ensemble. There were some great environments which could have created some great characters, but following these was an insight into their writer's room where the jokes had to be explained and who they wanted to mock while constantly arguing if they were too unpolitical. I just could not see the point of the Australian farm sketch. It was as if someone challenged them to see how many times they could swear in a segment. Some situations were just too realistic for anyone to see the funny side of it like the airport screening team or the company trying to withdraw its sales because they don’t want their products to be associated with a certain type of person. In the words of a previous sketch, it’s miss, miss, miss, miss, miss.

Wednesday, 6 August 2025

Bridge over the Grand Union

This is a bit of a crap bridge shot pose. These people are lost without me. I’m usually posed as if I’m firing off a weapon for my bridge shot but these people just don’t have a clue. They’re usually amazed when I plan a circular route when we arrive back where we’ve started. It’s very rare that they recognise an area that we’ve passed through before either on a figure-of-eight route or through somewhere that we’ve passed through previously. They male have worked out which canal that they’re on but they have no idea how it links up to the rest of the walk. They’ll blindly follow me anywhere and trust that I know where I’m going without doing any research themselves. Either that or they’ve convinced themselves that they’re the Village People and they’re on their way to get themselves clean and have a good meal, but they are in some manner.


Tuesday, 5 August 2025

"Don't wait. The time will never be just right."

-Napolean Hill.

There’s the perfect moment, the most opportune moment to take advantage of something , and there’s the moment that you’ve missed and you know that you’re not going to get a better one. If you wait, you’re just being too polite. You need to make your presence known, even if you have to interrupt someone. You have to make them see that spending time with you is more beneficial. It’s hard to know when that perfect moment is, so sometimes you just have to go for it and hope for the best. The other person might think that you’re a bit rude for intruding though. You might not get what you want after all. How are you going to know? What works for one person may not work for another, not matter how far away they are. You will never have our unique moment when all the attention is on you.

Sunday, 3 August 2025

Getting a Good Deal

One thing that we always want to be sure of is if we’re getting the best deal. But it’s better if we seek it out rather than be put on the spot via the phone. It’s often that you’re unsure if the person that’s calling you is genuine anyway. You don’t want to  hand over your details to a scammer. I’m told that Carl is calling. He doesn’t sound like he’s a Carl. Maybe he’s renamed himself to make things easier. If you call him back, no-one’s going to know who you’ve dealt with. And your money’s gone with no trace. At least a real caller would already have all your details on file. They’d probably have to confirm all your details first to make sure that they’re dealing with the right person. But then a scammer could ask for those details then run off with them and open a line of credit in your name. Sigh…

Saturday, 2 August 2025

Enter the Shadows

They’re creeping in. It must be the time of the year when the sun isn’t as high as it usually is, and shadows tend to  be longer. Tall objects like houses and trees have more power to create the dark. It could also come from the railings on the bridge, or someone standing on the bridge itself. There might even be a high vehicle passing by. Then there’s something creeping up the wall in the corner. Could that be the shadow of the fingers? Could it be an animal on the other side of the road who’s stuck its head over the fence to check out the townies arriving at the pub? Or could it be a mouse-like creature that’s been trapped within the walls of the pub and it gets stronger as the light begins to fade? Is that a connection to an outdoor outlet or is its tail beginning to form on the next wall?


Friday, 1 August 2025

Do people actually get on the wrong flight when travelling?

I don’t think it can be done. The amount of checks that are carried out nowadays together with electronic boarding passes means that people should be denied entry to the flight at the gate. I suppose that if the electronic check should fail there might be a possibility of the wrong person being let through, but that would be quite rare. There’s probably exceptions for people with missed connections and they have to take a transfer on a different flight, but they’d probably follow the same boarding process. There’s also the possibility of human error where the scanner is too sensitive and what should have been flagged as an error doesn’t record a boarding. I did make a dash for a gate once as I heard it was the final boarding call, only to realise upon reaching the queue that it was the same destination but a different flight. But that was the closest I’ve been to boarding the wrong plane.