Gunning Around #warwick 7

This is a disaster waiting to happen. Even if the gun isn’t loaded, you could still do some damage by pivoting the butt of the rifle into someone’s face. And how are you going to fire it at speed from a horse? It would have to be set at a pre-determined level and reloading would have to be done by a runner. Its sturdiness would be too impractical for the battlefield so perhaps it was designed for buildings only. You wouldn’t have a horse dressed in armour in the hall either. It would have to be well trained or you’d need someone nearby to scoop up the poop quickly. Then again, it’d make an impressive chess piece, but you’d need bigger squares and thirty-one other pieces. The modern lighting makes the reflection look like lasers as it passes around the room. Perhaps that’s what caused the knight to lose its hand.

Young Sheldon

It’s easy to forgive this character, as he’s still young and has much to learn about the universe. He’s aware of his intelligence but seems to think he’s superior. Thankfully, his tantrums are entertaining as he reacts in the least childlike way, unlike the adults that surround him in the later episodes. I love Missy, she’s cute and sassy while retaining a bit of her brother’s intelligence, and I love their relationship together. There’s also  a bit of suspense over George as we know that he’s not around in Sheldon’s later life so we never know when he’s going to go. It’s a bit shocked that we see Mee-Maw as a sassy troublemaker since Sheldon describes her so fondly in his later years, though there’s a hint of mischief about her when she meets Amy. Then there’s Professor Sturgis who’s a bit overdramatic and childlike in his way which explains why he gets on so well with Sheldon, though there’s little mention of him in Sheldon’s adult life. There’s also some great pop references to the culture of the time, so the researchers have done their job well. There’s not too much comedy here, but there’s enough going on to make you want to find out what happens to the characters.

T minus Tantrum #warwick 6

One wants to learn while the other wants to play. One wants to stay cool while the other wants to feel the sun on her shoulders. This means that one of them is getting their way while the other isn’t resulting in happy and sad. It’s hard to please everyone so you have to take it in turns but this can’t be seen as fair to the loser. Maybe it’s the heat and she’ll calm down in a bit. It’s a bit formal and shiny in there with plenty of dark spaces with very little to interact with. As well as armour that accommodates beer bellies, there’s kid-size armour too. I wonder if they could fight in it or is it merely for protection should the castle be invaded. And they might have let you try it on if it wasn’t for the fact that there was a pandemic in progress. We’ll have to wait for a later date to come back and find out.

@joebiden: You can't be Pro-Insurrectionist and Pro-American

You can if the government starts to make big mistakes like confusing your protagonists with your antagonists and giving away trade secrets. It’s where freedom of speech goes to hell. It might not be lawful because the government forbids it, but if they can justify that it’s in the best interest of the country and they can convince other people to think the same, then they might just outnumber those in power and form their own majority. Being American needs a definition that everyone can agree on; otherwise there’s going to be conflicts and that makes it easier for people to break things, especially when leaders start to tell people what they can and can’t do. It just stirs up insurrection even more; though it might not look very professional once you start to break things or accuse others of breaking things And at other times you can’t win either way.

Mystery Curtain #warwick 5

Your guess is as good as mine. It could be an ancient scroll placed behind curtains to protect it from light and we’re either allowed a sneak peek within or the curator has forgotten to pull the curtains shut after finishing a maintenance session. It could be a speaker beckoning us in to enjoy a light show. It could be a ghost from an American terrorist group, though you’d probably wouldn’t want to pass on this knowledge onto the little ones and it would be a bit out of place in this context anyway. Or it could simply be a case of a misplaced camera shot. It looks slightly female with a veil and a stumpy skeleton-shaped body. Perhaps it marks a tomb or even a candleholder. It’s left one of the bulbs to drift away like a balloon with a misty vapour. Though it looks dusty enough to contain cobwebs, I can’t see any now. Perhaps something else is expected to breeze through. 

Clementoni Pen Creator Studio

My niece absolutely loved this. I was wondering what to get her for her birthday and after asking her mother for ideas to avoid duplicate presents I spotted this on the shelf and put it forward. It turned out that she saw it at her cousin’s birthday and wanted a set for herself. I was delighted that towards the end of her birthday party she wanted to open up the box and play with it. It takes an adult to set up the holder, and there’s little compartments to hold all of the materials. There’s enough to make up ten pens, though the holder holds up to five at any time. Economically, you’d only need one but I suppose it’s helpful if you make them in batches or with friends so that you can compare your results. Just add a bit of water for a lava effect, insert your biro and decorations, add on an animal topper and you’re done. Even her big sister was hoping to have a go. I was hoping that she’d make some to give out as party presents or even make one for me but no such luck as yet.

Swanning Around #warwick 4

He’s got a swan on his head! It’s not the best thing to have as a bearing animal upon your helmet. For one thing, it doesn’t strike fear into the hearts of your enemies, though it may demonstrate that you’re capable of breaking a man’s arm. It may also demonstrate that you’re a real git; as well as making yourself a large target, though your purpose may be to draw fire away from those surrounding you on account of your armour. It’s even painted for heaven’s sake! The armour looks hardly used so maybe it was designed to be a showpiece for the room or to wear on a special occasion. Its partner looks like a gorilla wearing feathers. Perhaps they were presented as a joke by a foreign dignitary or a gift of friendship. They might have even performed a song and dance in them one night after a few glasses of mead.

Do Firemen just sit around at work waiting for a fire to happen?

That’d be nice, wouldn’t it? If nothing happens, they get an easy shift. But why have them on call in the first place? They could always work at home. Time is of the essence. You need to be ready in your gear so that you can get there fast. I mean you could wear your uniform all day long and your wife would love you for it, but it also means that you have to be contactable in an instant, which could be troublesome if communications were to fail. It’s probably why this sort of equipment; along with detachable sirens; are only used by fire chiefs. During daylight hours they spend their time visiting schools and communities talking about fire prevention; supplying some detectors and letting little kids try on their helmets. There’s also practice drills. At night you may go on patrol. I assume you’ll be expected to change watches between one shift and the next, because no-one wants a lazy fireman who oversleeps.

Lombard Lane #warwick 3

So were the epic car chases in San Francisco based on this very road? Were there horses towing chariots racing goods up and down this track to supply the castle? Or is it an attempt to make the castle accessible for everyone? There could be a row of steps hidden behind the bushes, or even a lift buried in the mound and built into the tower. You could certainly see the enemy coming if they break the gate and storm the castle. You could take your time and pick them off one by one with your archers, even if they try to take the short cut and climb the fence. They’ll also have bushes to contend with, and with a water source nearby it wouldn’t be difficult to flood the plain if you had quick access to a dam. It would be a nightmare if you had an Uber delivery though.

#nuclearmermaid 22

Jenny shielded her eyes. Or at least she tried to; there wasn’t much room to manoeuvre. Her stomach was perched on a smooth but cold metallic rock while her breasts were close to brushing the ground. Her derriere was brushing the source of the light. She ended up perfectly balanced with her tail on top of another smooth metallic surface.

‘Well, what have we here?’ said one of the bipeds. Looks like our friend is preparing herself for us.’ The biped who spoke picked up a smooth black stick with a shiny end that looked sharp. The others did the same. Quickly, they surrounded her. One of them pressed the blade to her scales. She felt the thrust, but nothing more. The biped stepped back, holding up the folded blade. Were they trying to harm her? She suddenly realised that she could spin her whole body around the room. With a whack of her tail, she struck a huge blow upon one of the surrounding metal boxes.

Round and round the Garden #warwick 2

Inside the gates is a gardener’s dream. I can’t really imagine that medieval gardeners had the ability to keep their gardens this immaculate. It was also a shame that there were no character actors on our approach to the moat. We weren’t able to demonstrate to the girls what would happen in a siege but they were happy enough to run in and explore. Inside were lots of grand buildings centred around a huge courtyard which would have been a great space to run around in, but some of it was filled with tents and small fences prepared for activities. Naturally, our little princesses wanted to climb up as high as possible but we wanted them to learn a little bit about our surroundings first as we’d already visited the maze and wanted a little rest before attempting anything else. There was a little complaining but it was a hot day so it was a good opportunity to get them in the shade.

Prejudice

‘I need that armrest.’

‘But it’s mine.’

‘Yeah, but I’m bigger than you.’

‘I was hoping to relax and sleep.’

That’s fine. I won’t have to worry about you getting up to go to the bathroom. And I’ll have your in-flight meal too.’

‘But I paid for that.’

‘Yes, but if you doze off then it’s going right in front of me unless you surrender your armrest.’

‘No. I have a right to exist in a certain amount of space. I refuse to be bumped around just because I’m smaller.’

‘You won’t have to if you let me have your armrest.’

‘You will, you’ll just hover over my side trying to steal my space and I’ll be forced to sit upright in a locked position so that there’s still some space between us.’

‘Well it’s not my fault that these seats are so small.’

‘And it’s not my fault that you’re too big.’

‘Why don’t you switch seats?’

‘I don’t know if I can. These flights are usually full.’

‘Go on, ask.’

‘You ask. It’s your problem, not mine.’

‘But I’ve specifically paid for a window seat, which comes with an armrest.’

‘Well, I ain’t budging.’

UK Tides

I’m expecting to learn about high tides. Will it be different from an island on either side? I wonder what it will say about my landlocked location. There might even be some wave sound effects and some seagulls. The response is very detailed. You can ask for a place, town or whole area. A successful response does give you some wave sounds, but a negative response results in a narrative. Sometimes you will get the weather instead of tidal information, as you have to open the app first. Sometimes you’ll get a comical opening response but it’s hard to understand as you’re not expecting it. Asking for landlocked locations results in a response that there’s no information for high tides at the moment. That’s a bit worrying. It’s as if it’s expected to have some tidal data about a landlocked location someday. It’s as if it’s predicting that flooding is imminent.

Over and Under #warwick 1

At first glance you’d think that it’d be quite close to the city centre. There’s walls and gatehouses very close to the roads and shops, and the entrance isn’t too far away either. But once you’re in, you’re basically parking in reclaimed fields. There’s a fair trek through the woodland to the main entrance, and I’m surprised that there’s no shuttle service. Along the way, the path branches off to other features like the accommodation and areas which are reserved for special events. Then at the tollbooth there’s a stern watchtower of admission, a toilet block and a souvenir shop. Once you’re through the turnstile, you get your first view of the castle. You can take a circular walk around it, cross over the moat or venture into the gardens. Or you could do what we did which was to explore the Horrible Histories maze. There were facts to learn and things to climb over and under.

Ticket Touter #dreamdiary 183

I’ve been asked to supply tickets to different football matches. I’ve been able to procure some good seats through some discount websites for around £15 a person. I’ve got the monies and the tickets all sorted out. The only trouble is that I can’t remember which matches go to which customer. I’ve deleted all the e-mails with each individual order as I’ve already placed the order, but I didn’t create a master record of what everyone wanted. I’ve now got their names written on a piece of paper stuck inside a bank coin bag fastened with a paper clip, but I’ve got no idea of which ticket goes into which bag. I’ve got a vague idea of who supports each football team, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that’s the match that each customer has made arrangements to save that particular date and destination. There could be some nasty surprises. Looks like I’ve got some calling to do…

#banbury2 #sherduck 19

‘What do you think the boss is up to?’

‘Dunno, none of our business really, is it?’

‘I think he’s gone too far this time; kidnapping a detective.’

‘I just do what I’m told. Keep him happy so long as he keeps paying me… But on a boat though.’

‘I know, I mean I wouldn’t want to step inside.’

‘I suppose we’ll have to if he calls for us.’

‘He’s got Dowser with him though.’

‘Yeah, he’s big, but he’s only one duck.’

‘The detective’s only one duck.’

‘He’s clever though.’

‘Yeah, this detective could probably outsmart him.’

‘I wouldn’t want to get too close to the windows to see what’s going on.’

‘Why’s that then?’

‘Well, if anything goes wrong, you could be spotted and identified later.’

‘Didn’t think of that.’

‘That’s why the boss wanted the windows open.’

‘Keep your voice down!’

‘Why’s that then?’

‘He could recognise that too!’

The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.

-Barack Obama.

You could do something. Any task is a good task so long as it’s not wasting time. Even if you feel overwhelmed, starting a task helps to achieve your goal, and a bit of planning can make it more manageable. But if you need a good night’s sleep, then you need to get down (although you might need to get up to get down). It’s no good trying to achieve something if you’re not focusing properly and end up doing it wrong. With a bit of energy, you’re better off getting on with it to make good things happen, although it is nice when they materialise without any effort, it feels better when you’ve accomplished something. You’ll also have a bit more time on your hands. And even if the task’s not going to benefit you, it might benefit someone else and it gives them good cause to perform a good deed in return. You might even be rewarded for so simple an act.

Banbury Bumble #Banbury 1

 This was a walk that I'd spotted many times from a distance on the motorway across reclaimed land next to a retail park. I thought that it was the Grand Union Canal but it turns out that it’s a river basin and flood plain to control the Cherwell. It wasn’t the most exciting of stops but perhaps with a bit of knowledge you could turn it into a circular walk; though you’d have to be careful about how long you leave your car at the retail park. You might be able to link up with the Grand Union via the Country Park. Just past Marks & Spencer is a footpath alongside the motorway. Follow this north and it’ll join up with the river and take you underneath the motorway to the dam. Once you’re there, it feels like a bit of a no-man’s land. It’s not impressive but it makes for a nice rest stop with restaurants nearby with facilities and you can let the dog out for a stretch.

Brakeman Brian

This is probably off a lead that I was given for an article about beer on steam trains but I didn’t pursue it. The trouble is that cask beer doesn’t travel well on trains if you intend to drink it, and even in bottled form you’d need to travel on the smoothest of tracks. Cut to today’s fast-paced trains and you might have a chance, though centrifugal force and harsh braking would still ruin the barrel. I’m quite happy to feature train-side pubs and bars in the county and visit a few of them but I don’t have the budget to go galloping across the country writing reviews and taking pictures. It’s difficult when people don’t realise that we’re volunteers. If someone else is happy to do the legwork then I’m happy to report it. But at the end of the day; I’m an editor, not a journalist. You need to make your own news.

Making Tracks #richmond 24

Who causes this much devastation to the landscape? Surely the wildlife won’t make this much mess on their approach to the water? They’d probably want to cover their tracks so that predators wouldn’t be able to follow them. But they’d also want a trail where there’s so scent of any danger. And if there was some way of encouraging predators to use the same trail every time; they would have plenty of safe options, as predators like the path of least resistance to preserve their energy for the hunt. These could be the tracks of humans attempting to tame the landscape. It’s worn down over time with footsteps tramping down the grass, tyres rolling over them and dirt being redistributed. I wonder if a canyon will eventually be created over time. They’ll have to rope off the area to stop people wearing down the trail which will cause restrictions to the wildlife but will let a new one develop which will allow the first trail to recover.

The Big Bang Theory

Girls geeking out and boys turning into men is the instant reason that makes this show so popular. There’s some great comic moments as social situations are dissected in great detail as algorithms are proved and disproved. The celebrity guest appearances are a fanboy’s dream to collaborate with this many people. At times the science can be a bit overwhelming, but they’re at the forefront of their research and you don’t need to make sense of it to enjoy the comedy, and many of the other characters don’t do this either. Along the way, they battle through life obstacles and it’s great to see the characters overcome their fears and achieve their goals, though there’s a somewhat smug feeling emerging from the actors that play them. It’s a shame that they had to end it but they found a novel way where everyone gets what they want. It’s great that a prequel has been produced; but plans for a second spin-off from characters from the first spin-off is overdoing things a bit.

Manners for Malliardi #richmond 23 #sherduck 18

Sherduck looked across. A black swan was sitting in the centre of the boat. There must have been a crash for a pool of water to appear underneath the swan but somehow the boat hadn’t sunk. Perhaps the owner had propped it up over bricks at each end with the intention of patching it up somehow. It would be cheaper than getting hold of a hoist. But why was he here in the first place?

‘I know exactly what you’re thinking. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Professor Malliardi. I was born in a nest not far from here-

‘Spare me your origin story. You’ve taken great measures to get me here, alone, unconscious, and without a trace. You’ve removed my phone. And you’re named after a duck -why is that?’

‘You’re too impatient, Mr. Sherduck. And it will cost you. I was going to reveal that knowledge before I was so rudely interrupted.’

 

Adding labels won't solve Anything

We’ve needed a militant civil group to make their own decisions to protect and defend ourselves. That’s why we have all these treaties in place which creates a knock-on effect should anything fall through. We’d also hope that there’s some sort of force that can react quickly and be supported by the army if they need to. But we haven’t seen much of the latter recently. The force that we pay to protect us simply ran away at the first sign of trouble and by the time the national army had been rallied; it was too late and the damage was done. It takes time for these sorts of activities to be organised so why wasn’t it flagged? Have things become too complicated for intelligence agencies to follow up on their leads? Someone isn’t doing their job properly somewhere. Labelling organisations as terrorists won’t stop their activities. You need someone on the inside.

Out of the Pond #richmond 22 #sherduck 18

Sherduck started to stir. He had a thumping headache but he was pretty sure that something drastic had happened for his head to hurt this much. He really wanted to throw up; but he had no conception of where he was at the moment and whether it was socially acceptable to do so. There were little fragments in his mind of the previous night’s events but none of them were particularly helpful in helping him to calculate where he was now; but he was fairly convinced that he hadn’t pulled. A visual inspection then. A table, circular windows, swans outside. Perhaps he was on some kind of narrowboat. But why? Only the underworld moved about in boats in the fowl world, which meant that he was in some pretty deep shit; and it certainly wouldn’t aid things if he were to add to the pile.

‘So you’re finally awake Mr. Sherduck’.

What do I do if bailiffs show up at the door with a writ for someone who isn't living there?

Tell them the truth! Why do you have anything to hide? Do you know the person in question? Normally a form of ID is enough to make them go away. You can ask them what evidence they have which proves that they live there. It’s up to them to prove that they do live there; and if you own the property you also have the right to deny them entry, though you may want to invite them anyway to prove that there’s nothing to hide. If you don’t own the property, you may want to pass on the details of the visit to the Landlord. The only trouble is that once they’re in, they may not leave until the debt is paid or the missing person is located. That also includes making a listing of possessions on the site. You can also request a copy of the document that the bailiff has and record them if you feel it’s necessary.

Duck Hunt #richmond 22 #sherduck 17

 The phone was shown as still being in HQ. It was difficult to locate its exact position when there were so many other devices nearby. Buttons decided to go and check the cells. It would have been an easy solution for the night team considering the state that he was in. After a brief chat with the Custody Sergeant, he discovered that there were only three arrivals last night and Sherduck wasn’t one of them. The only other option was to call him. Either that or take a visit to HR to see if there any new detectives that he could transfer to. As he waddled past a row of lockers, he heard a phone ringing. He looked through the mesh sheeting and spotted Sherduck’s phone sitting on a shelf inside. Buttons recognised the ringtone and it even had his name on the caller ID. But what was Sherduck’s phone doing there, and more importantly, where was Sherduck? Buttons had to get that locker open and check the CCTV.

Greetings

A lot of times it’s down to who you get. And it also depends on their mood. You’d expect that they get paid to be happy every time they serve someone but it also depends on how they’ve been treated too, and how they’ve been understood or misunderstood. It might take a while for the information that they’re trying to tell you to sink in. it’s best that you don’t overreact in case of conflict as they be able to find a solution which suits your goals. But if you do understand then things will go your way. You might even find yourself helping others that don’t understand. But if you act rude then you’ll get rude treatment in return. You could be ignored completely or receive substandard service. And it’s a few simple seconds is all that it takes to make everyone’s lives easier. So be nice to your driver and give him the chance to make amends if he doesn’t meet your expectations.

Waiting Game #richmond 21 #sherduck 16

Buttons stirred in his nest. He hadn’t seen Sherduck come back to the bar, and after spending fifteen minutes of waddling up and down corridors looking for him, he decided to call it a night. It would make no difference whatsoever to him where Sherduck would end up in headquarters as there were plenty of security about. After popping out for a morning paddle and catching a few fresh wet blades of grass, he made his way to the cafeteria for a frog sandwich while he waited for Sherduck to stumble in . A whole hour passed as he pinned his ear around the room listening to the gossip coming from other tables and the cafeteria line but there was no mention of Sherduck. He knew that Sherduck hated calls and he hadn’t received any messages from him or even a reply, but Buttons couldn’t spend the rest of the day in the cafeteria. He knew Sherduck hated it, but he’d have to use the tracker app.

Honeymoon #devilsdaughter 21

‘How about a kiss for your bride?’ asked Lucinda. She lay down on her front right there and then, allowing him to reach up to her luscious lips. The building shook under the weight. Some of the patrons decided that now would be a great time to  top up their drink; others simply wanted to watch that huge rear jiggle to see how much the dress could cope. The lower that Lucinda stretched, the higher it seemed to rise. Then, as it began rocking, red hair began to appear everywhere. Soon it had replaced the floor as a carpet. It slowly began wrapping itself around the cloisters.

Meanwhile, upfront, Lucinda was about to roll over. She’d never been on top owing to the size of her breasts. Luke was safely snug inside and totally occupied with the task of trying to please her. The pews cracked and splintered under her weight.  

Secret Base #richmond 20

The park closes at night. For a lot of open land that’s used by the public during the day, there has to be something that they don’t want you to see. But it’s not closed to overhead air traffic. Maybe there’s a secret base underneath. The swans are actually remote cameras that never leave the lake and there’s a secret watchtower hidden in the oak tree. It’d be nice to think that there was something with all this science fiction around. But the reality of it is that as much as we’d like to see it happen, there’s probably not enough money around to make it happen, unless that’s really where all the money is going to defend us about threats that we don’t know about. It’s more likely to be used as a private hunting ground for the royals, or for night golf. Or maybe it’s a professional training ground. I guess we’ll just have to visit one day and find out.