When a long journey becomes short...

I took a long haul journey to Liverpool this week. Secretly, I was dreading the whole journey as we got the cheapest tickets with one of the tattier train companies that hasn’t got the best reputation for punctuality. And worst of all, the value of the ticket meant that we would stop at every single stop along the way. But the journey wasn’t that bad at all. For starters, the train was very quiet, both inside and out, which I was very surprised at being as this was a key time for travelling to our conference with the best value tickets. We had a lot of spacious room and even managed to get a table. We travelled at a decent speed and sailed through all the stations; and also enjoyed some very pleasant scenery along the way. I would have got some reading done too; but I had a friend to entertain.

Saturday Night and Sunday Morning by Alan Sillitoe

Saturday Night And Sunday Morning by Alan Sillitoe
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Sillitoe’s account of a young man’s adventures during his leisure time accurately portrays working class attitudes of work. Arthur Seaton only defines himself as what he does at the weekend; and tunes himself of his working day except when he has to interact with others; of which he does without emotion or prejudice. Seaton is always fighting to survive and never gives in; which brings out his anger quite easily after a few pints when society tries to get in the way of his fun. He tries to be an anti-hero with his immoral and selfish actions; but his employment in a world focused on industrialisation illustrates that there is little care for the individual from a societal point of view. The dialogue in this book makes it a nice easy read and the ending is justified yet unchanging of our hero who is just too set in his ways.

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Bank Holiday Syndrome

One of the strange things about bank holidays is that no-one knows your opening hours; whether you've got the day off or closing early; you can never count on your regular services. We popped into the Gate Hangs Well to try our local pub quiz; but found it postponed owing to the holiday festivities. Instead of taking to the surprisingly vacant dartboard (which was probably a wise decision given the number of pubs that we’d visited), our eyes fell on a box of dominoes. We found a table, and we were even permitted to use one of the pub’s official domino boards; a square wooden tile with framed sides to stop the dominoes from tumbling over. It was good fun despite winning only one game, and the best bit was mixing them up at the beginning; of which the other tables outdid us proudly by making as much noise as possible.

HMS Caroline

Holed up in the Belfast Docks is HMS Caroline, a decommissioned Royal Navy cruiser vessel that’s over a hundred years old; though you wouldn’t know by looking at it. It served in World War One in the Orkney islands, and was later used as a training vessel. It’s amazing that to think that the entire fleet used to be commandeered from here; and it just makes you think how the military outgrew it with today’s technology. Arnie can control a whole army from his i-Pad while descending in the lift. It’s preserved in excellent condition, and still floats, but her guns and engines have been removed for use elsewhere in the fleet. The docks do keep her well sheltered, but it’s been reported that she has come loose off her moorings a few times and even drifted into the jetty. Allegedly it is awaiting restoration to celebrate the centenary of the Battle of Jutland, but if that’s the case then someone had better get a move on.

Live from the Kennels of Parliament...

‘So the humans want to have us chipped. And any unchipped dog will be put down if found on the streets.’

‘Well, it makes them more accountable, doesn’t it? If we get lost or even rejected, then the humans will be responsible. And it means that every dog is by law bound to some sort of shelter.’

‘But it also means that they can track our movements. In gatherings such as this, for example.’

‘Well, we can’t change what the humans have already decided. They were going to find out sooner or later.’

‘Our whole covert operations will grind to a halt. Should we be threatened by another cat invasion, our counter-operations will be tracked by the humans.’

‘Perhaps they can help. It would be great for us not to have to do all of the work for all of the time.’

‘Or perhaps they can hinder us. There are as many dog lovers as cat lovers out there. And their movements will not be monitored. Plus, I believe that the chipping itself will be a bit painful for a time; putting many of our troops out of action.’

‘Well Mr. Squeaker, I just can’t help but feel that this debate will be a little rough.’

Adaptive Camouflage

Keys. They're a bugger to cart around, and yet you really do need them if you want some security in your life. But as soon as you unlock that door, they're no longer needed until you're ready to secure the lock again. I put mine down on the table yesterday, then while I was locking the main door, I noticed that one of the keys had slid off one of the key rings. I didn't panic as I knew that the missing keys would still be in there and it wouldn't be me who would unlock that same door. So when I returned, I found two keys in the place that I left them, but there was still a smaller key missing. I asked around to see if anyone had picked the two keys on the table off the floor to see if the missing key would be in that vicinity. When that didn't work, I retraced my steps to the other doors that I'd unlocked. Oddly, the key was found on the floor on a metal plate dividing a room from a stockroom. And the strange thing was that a lot of people must have gone in and out of that room; and yet none of them saw my missing key on the floor!

Bad Education

I used to be put off by watching Bad Education, thinking it was just about just a degenerate class of students that just acted up. But having watched a few episodes in passing lately, it’s really beginning to kick off. It’s actually the performances of the adult teachers and their child-like behaviour that make the comedy interesting rather than the chav stereotypical students themselves. The comedy arises for Alfie’s need to succeed and demonstrate his maturity to the other teachers and prove that he can lead; but he hasn’t the intellectual mechanics to do so and needs his pupils to help him succeed; bribing them with a field trip to Nandos and beer. His teaching methods are actually very imaginative; allowing chaos to ensue when using pupils in wheelchairs to act as tanks in war enactments. But you have to wonder how these people actually get these jobs that would be a great storyline to focus on.