White Van Man

Today I became a proper man; a man who drives a white van in fact! Now I too can roll down my window and say ‘ol right darlin’ as I drive past; smashing into the lorry in front of me as I go. It’s quite strange, driving from a different height though. It’s quite a stretch to reach the handbrake then you’ve got to remember that the gearstick is a lot shorter and there’s extra gears to play with. No rear view mirror but there’s a good parking sensor to help you park and extra wide mirrors to see who’s on your behind. There’s a limiter to limit your speed which is not to be confused with the indicator; and a small wheel for steering; surprising given the size of the lorry. Half the time I do feel that I’m driving as if I’m standing up; but I need to get used to it quite quickly as otherwise there’ll be plenty of time for swinging it round corners and across the curb!

Oliver's Mount

Today I explored Oliver’s Mount; as well as being a war memorial which offers fantastic views of the town; it’s also a natural road racetrack. At the summit sits a café and a free place to park your car, and a wall to perch on with a viewpoint of what you can see. Directly in front of you is Scarborough Castle and the harbour and a beautiful view of the headland. You can also see the terraced hotels of the traditional seaside town and the overspill of a growing resort just love how the Victorian houses and the church stand out on the cliff tops.  I’m half surprised that there’s no police look-out here; but then again half the town’s activity is masked by buildings and it’s very hard to see what’s going down below. You’re better off with the satellites and security cameras. Oliver’s Mount is also a local lover’s lane, though luckily not at this time of year!

Best laid plans...

Today was an interesting day of decisions and debate. Many good people have approached our forum; each with good intentions of how they would like to change things. Their plans were thought out with good intention; but often they were no match for our ideas. Their perceptions had to be changed; and with each idea their motion grew weaker and weaker. And when other people get involved; the idea is further perceived from a different angle; resulting in a completely different action from what the original idea intended. It was great that the realists got involved to make the idea plain and simple; but the perception of the action was often overanalysed for its effects rather than to simply view the desired outcome. This meant that the simplest and effective ideas were thrown out; while the more complicated plans were let through without thought on the effects upon the general public.   

Terror Towers

Yesterday we found a great building on the promenade; it was an old building that had been converted into a walk-through horror funhouse. There were some great horror movie sets with lots of strobe lights and eerie music. Within each room you had to wait for the door light to go green before you could go through it. We had dodgy shower scenes with blood written on the walls; lots of moving puppets and lots of stairs with twists on every corridor. There was a great scene where we waited in a room with some bushes, then a flash of light and we get attacked by velociraptors. Then there's a huge bang as a giant Tyrannosaurus Rex descends upon us. There were aliens and predators; unfortunately the aliens were still in their egg form. We had a great scene from blade when bodies started to move across a belt and we dodge through them to get to the next room. And there was a freaky electric chair scene with a Terminator standing by; which I just couldn't figure out. But Terror Towers is definitely worth a visit. 

Sunny Scarborough

I'm in sunny Scarborough! Well, I'd like to say sunny but a horrible sea mist has descended upon the town, making visibility next to impossible. After settling into our digs for the weekend, we found a nice nearby pub called the cask inn to wet our whistles. After completing our cask marque scan and enjoying a golden swallow; we went for a stroll along the promenade where we couldn't actually see anything at sea. It was great to see all the traditional arcades though with all their lights; there's even a Zoltan machine from the Tom Hanks movie; Big. Food was next on the agenda and after failing to find any fish and chip shops open; we settled for an American themed diner that sold gigantic burgers. After stuffing ourselves full of meat, it was time to explore more pubs. My favourite was the Cellars where a Blues band were playing, and someone fell to the floor and struggled to get up again after several pints of the blackjack IPA. 

Bus wars!

I've been doing a lot of driving lately (I even had to break for ducks today). And I know we're all in a rush to get to places, and we all have different abilities and reaction speeds; but the one thing that really bugs me is to hang on my tail as close as possible. It's certainly not going to make me drive any faster. So why did a bus driver decide to to get as close to me as possible last night? At first I thought he was only heading off to the parkway, but it turned out he was right behind me, and I know that he certainly wasn't sticking to the agreed speed limit. At one point I thought he might actually be trouble; and kept checking my wing mirrors to look out for a group of pirates fighting a group of ninjas while hanging off the outside of the bus. But no, it turned out he was just taking the bus back to the depot. 

That cynical landlord

It’s funny when you seek a fresh perspective from the landlord. True, we know he’s the gaffer and he decides who gets to be served next and whether he can get away with flogging you with another pint while you’re swaying on top of your bar stool but there is also the Landlord’s Opinion. For sure, you don’t want to question their opinions so that you can continue to enjoy your pint. But we know that they can be cynical bastards too, especially when it comes to other establishments. ‘That’s not a pub, it’s a broom cupboard with a wardrobe extension’, you might hear when discussing the latest uber-trendy bar. Another one you might hear is, ‘Oh, I think it’s just an opening offer, normally its £10.20 for two drinks’. But you have to take what you hear with a pinch of salt and go out there and experience it for yourself. Going by what other people say is sometimes overrated, especially when they’re the jealous type because you’ve put your coffers somewhere else…