Standards

For years I’ve been frustrated at work by the fact that my colleagues just dump stuff in the aisles for me to deal with. There’s been empty boxes that they magically expect them to disappear into the depths of the stockroom. There’s been stock dumped in the gangways for me to deal with. And then there’s the state of the boxes. For years we’ve been trained to look out for damaged goods as soon as they’ve been unloaded and that they’re kept away from the customer for as long as possible. We might need to let a customer know that there’s a delay in their order because the item is damaged and decide that it’s just too tatty to sell. It’s a mark of excellence to deliver the best quality products and it also saves time at the collection desk so that the customer doesn’t hold you up to inspect the goods. Now we have to haggle with them and offer a discount on sight. It’s as if we’re appearing to try and shift second-hand goods. It’s not good practice and it’s not what we should be doing.

Putting the Hammer Down

I have a friend who’s a big Marvel fan and he’s also a big kid at heart. When we were on our student’s holiday last year he kept getting in touch; and as one of our friends was a big collector of plushie toys he tasked her with obtaining him a plushie Mjolnir. Inspired by this; I ordered one from e-Bay for £15 from a character fancy dress shop as a birthday gift. What a piece of crap. The handle was too light and ridiculously short for its plushie head. A bit of strength could see the head fly right off. With a bit more planning; I could have bought him the decent one from Argos complete with a sturdy springy plastic handle for vibrations complete with sound effects. And it would have been in the 3 for 2 toys offer as well. But, having seen the movie; this inferior axe makes more sense as it’s more likely to break; just as Mjolnir is destroyed by Hela in the film.

Stardust Motion at the Grenfell Arms, Maidenhead

This was a large red- bricked building with two large wood-panelled rooms; the second of which we didn’t explore as it was felt that it was set aside for diners. The drinker’s corner had plenty of small tables and bar stools in its centre with a few proper tables and chairs facing the window. It was occupied by a few astonished locals who were baffled with this invasion from our bus, but they decided to keep to themselves. The bar staff were quite young but seemed pleased to see us on what would have been a quiet late Saturday afternoon. The bar was central to the pub and was made to serve both rooms at the same time. Being first of the bus, I had a good chance at the first shout on the beers available; and went for Motion by Stardust; a delicious dark beer that was kept very well. Impressed by the quality of the first beer, I decided to sample another. Nice arse by the way.

The Dodgy Spell Checker

Do you see the pint? Or have you got your beer goggles on? Spell checkers can work wonders but if you’ve spelt the word right and put it in the wrong place then it can cause havoc for your readers; especially if you don’t go back and check what you’ve written. After all, most people prefer a roof over their head than a room. And it seems that Word is one of the slowest programs available. It’s the last to load; and if you get a spur of inspiration while you’re typing; sometimes it just can’t keep up. You’ll get the blue circle rolling for a while then it’ll miss out vital words in your sentence. If you’re in the middle of typing a word and you’re lucky then the spellchecker will pick it up and display a distractingly wavy red line underneath the text. You’ve then got to stop and wait for the suggestion to load, but sometimes it’s quicker to just click back and do it yourself. But if the spellchecker hasn’t picked it up then your point becomes a pint which makes it look like you’ve been drinking instead of proofreading your document. People are bombarded with too much information these days so your reader might skim read it and not notice any difference. But if there’s one incoherent word in your sentence then your reader will tear you apart.

Bless this Beer

Welcome to the first of our Sunday worships here in this very tavern. While we await the funds of our current parish to come to fruition, our good Landlord has generously granted use of his premises until our goal is complete. We will now pass the collecting plate around which takes the form of this empty pork scratching bag. While the bag is being passed around, you may like to know that we have white communion wine available instead of red this week; as I understand that it was a busy evening in here last night. Also, our service will be cut short this week owing to the early kick-off of the Six Nations Rugby tournament. This may explain why some of our TV-facing seats are already occupied this morning. Now please join me in standing to sing today’s first hymn which will be played on our youth choir’s keyboard. Oh. Does anyone have any batteries? 

The Redbreast by Jo Nesbo

Hole is your stereotypical detective who works behind the lines; only he’s got much more influence over his colleagues due to an incident early on in the novel. You’d be forgiven for thinking that this was set in America if you removed all the place names from the novel. I found the flashbacks between the past and the present very confusing at first as I lost my place between them and I couldn’t work out the context between them or bring the characters into the present when the storyline requested them. There were also too many giveaways; I knew where the ending would take place as I was told much earlier. It therefore felt a bit boring to follow Hole’s line of enquiry only to find out the antagonist’s plans in the next chapter. I thought that this book was written by a woman until I read the copyright notice at the end. 

Gun Brewery Pale Ale at the Nag's Head, Reading

Found just off a side street from the main road; this beautiful merchant’s house looks as if it’s been going for many a year. I’d expected it to be quite modern inside; but it was quite the opposite. The bar was packed with handpumps and the pub was even more busy; with loads of locals sat down on low-level stools to watch the sports above. There was a board game corner that was fully put to use alongside a selection of books. Clearly this is a pub to while away your time in. I decided to escape the local life and decided to wander outside for the others where there was more made-up seating in the sun consisting of benches made of beer barrels; and further up the rear car park was a marquee for outdoor events which had a few tables for people who wanted to hide away from the main crowd. When I returned for a second half, the bus had slowly started to creep in.