Sewer Maiden

Maddie woke with a start. All that she could see in front of her was pink, though she was aware that she was awake as she recognised the sounds and smell of the sewer. Was something wrong with her sight? She tried to sit up in a panic but some unexpected force caused her to flop down on her back again. It was as if some large debris had fell on her during the night. She turned her head and saw the familiar walls, and rolled out onto her side to see what she was attached to. The weight became somewhat lighter, so she decided to push herself against the wall and stand up. She tried to clear her head, but there was still a mass of pink in front of her. She looked down to see that the curtains that she had used as a dress were now just small enough to cover her legs. She had grown.

Homework

My niece has been asked to build something at home and provide proof that she’s done it. I’ve got no idea what they teach in schools nowadays but this is certainly a new one on me. Maybe she was supposed to bring it in but she couldn’t, so she was afraid that it would break. So she got her Mum to take a picture, who sent it to me and asked me to print it out. I did this in good will, but I find it worrying when a primary school fails to provide materials for a child to complete a task. I’ve still got no idea what the castle is for. Is she supposed to write a story about it? And what did the other children produce when they were asked to complete the same task? Or were they asked? Perhaps my niece was punished and missed the lesson at school and was asked to produce the task in her own time? I will never know.

Ghost Spider

I’m lying in bed staring at the ceiling. A bedside reading lamp points up at the ceiling illuminating a cobweb waving across the white frack-painted ceiling. As I move my hand, it moves too, swaying from the resistance that my hand makes. It’s as if the web itself is moving. But I can’t see a spider! Is it camouflaged? Does it have chameleon abilities, or is a natural white to match that of the ceiling? Or is it a ghost that’s simply left its trail behind? Later on I can make out the web dangling from the ceiling swaying backwards and forwards with a small white dot at the bottom. The web seems to line up perfectly with a join between the paper in the ceiling. And a twist of the light reveals more strands moving across the top of the curtain rail. Could something have gotten through? I think I’ve just discovered how on average we swallow eight spiders a year in our sleep.

Abbeydale Daily Bread at the Tilted Wig

This is a lovely pub which looks out onto a beautiful old market square which was covered with a sea of Christmas lights when we visited. The building itself is old enough but has all the modern facilities inside. As we entered, the bar was straight in front of us and the barmaid was just pulling a guest ale through for us. We’re surrounded by brightly painted wood panels and laminate flooring. The pub is popular with diners and a stretch around the left side of the bar gives way to a modern lounge area which you have to run through the gauntlet past the diners to reach the conveniences. To the right are raised tables facing the windows for those who just wish to sit and chat, together with an exposed brick wall and a traditional fireplace. Nevertheless, we were made welcome when it was made clear that we were only stopping for drinks.

The Lunch Burglar

Are there really people out there who steal other people’s lunches? It sounds like something out of an office sit-com or an episode of Tom & Jerry. They’re not exactly going to dress up as The Hamburglar and sneak in with a large bag marked swag as soon as the doors are open for business. And if these people can’t be trusted in the break room then where in the business can they be trusted? Do they let out an evil cackle when they open the fridge door? Or is there something wrong with them that stops them from being normal human beings? Perhaps they need some extra training in the common sense department. Either way, anyone with this attitude isn’t really someone that you’d like hanging around with you. And because it’s a personal offence, the method which the victim is going to use to fight back is going to be personal as well.

Boxing Day Twins

It’s great having an older sibling in the family; especially when she helps out the younger one. It’s a service that she doesn’t charge us for (yet). She’s always happy to show her what to do first; though this could be seen as selfish since she gets the first opportunity to do everything. The younger sibling can’t be as loud as the older one and it’s hard to find out what she wants, so the older one often translates this for her into ‘bigspeak’ when there’s conflict on what to have for lunch or which activity to do. She’s also very honest when she does this for us and doesn’t try to change her answers (or maybe she hasn’t worked that one out yet). It’s great that there’s a hidden language between the two but it’s a shame that she doesn’t muck in to look after her though; she leaves that merry task to us.

The Potato Head Family

My youngest niece loves Mr. Potato Head. The latest one that we’ve found comes in a bucket with a mommy, a daddy, and a baby and she loves building them up with other people. There’s also accessories like a hat, a handbag, and a necklace. The first time she played with it, she wanted to find the instructions to make sure that we were building them right. Some of the parts can be a bit stiff to push in. She gets upset when we mix up the ears and eyes and moustaches. I once turned them on their sides to build potato animals and it took her a while to come around to the idea that you don’t have to follow the instructions to build nice things. When they’re all built the way she likes it, we have to bring them to life to play mommies and daddies, and we’re not allowed to take them apart until it’s time to go home.