The Local

Should your nearest and dearest be the one that’s nearest to you? The one you’ll never loose because it’s on the way home and you always use it despite the miserable landlady who doesn’t know how to keep a decent pint or keep the place clean which attracts a dodgy clientele that you’d rather not bond with? Or should it be somewhere where everyone knows you and the bar  staff are happy to see you regardless of how many times you frequent the place? They’re always keen to hear your stories, make you laugh and get you to join in with their antics. Then there’s people that live around the corner that wouldn’t set foot into the place if you paid them but remember the old days when it was good and complains when it’s threatened with closure because there’s not enough money coming in to make the place profitable any more.

Bird's Eye View #warwick 34

It’s easy when you can reach high places. You get to see those on the ground struggle while you can take a short cut and find the best route. It could be the quickest one or it could be the most efficient one which allows you to collect the best of the resources along the way. You can’t really get lost, though you could get distracted. You can even make a little profit by helping them out if you feel that it gives you the advantage. Or you can humour them by  redirecting them way from spots white you pop in and harvest its advantages. There might be something shiny that someone’s dropped, or a tasty treat. Though there may not be other humans racing to retrieve this off the ground, there may be other creatures. You’re also going to have a problem in trying to keep me out from wherever I want to go.

Golden Street, Agra

Great food cooked at very reasonable prices served by polite and friendly staff. The restaurant was clean and comfortable inside with leather seats and the décor was similar to a 1950s American diner. We were a bit apprehensive at first as there were only two diners but we knew that we were onto a good thing when a small Indian family of fourteen people came in. We ordered our meals and the manager was able to advise us how hot the dishes were and how he could alter them to our preferences. They also serve a selection of Chinese dishes. We received complimentary poppadums accompanied by two different chutneys and some pickled onions. The portion size of the curries was excellent and we found that one order of rice and naan bread was enough to share between two of us. We had a lovely chat with the manager about how excellent his English was and the differences between his restaurant and those in Britain (which wasn’t much!).

Defensive Positions #warwick 33

Even the entrance has a defensive position. It’s handy if the castle has to be attacked as the troops can rally behind the walls which are hopefully thick enough to withstand a few cannonballs. If they want to take the cathedral first, there’s plenty of cover in the modern housing. They might even be able to smash through the terraced walls and find a way to the steps while being completely undercover. If they have time, they could even build a network of tunnels to take over either side while someone stands guard in the windows to spot the watchmen. Let’s hope that the church is on their side otherwise they could just end up with arrows in their backs. On the other hand, they could fill up their pockets with plenty of pencils for ammunition. And the crane offers a great vantage point to film the whole thing, though it doesn’t offer much cover.

Temple Tots #empress 22

Despite the earth shaking, it was still busy at the temple. Maybe it was a sense of panic that encouraged people to go there. People weren’t sure whether to cram themselves inside or avoid it completely in case it collapsed. The occasional boom encouraged more people to step inside. Inside, the walls and ceiling were shaking. It wasn’t a great environment for contemplation and reflection, and the monks kept asking themselves what had gone wrong outside while trying their best to carry on as normal. There was a crash of lightning followed by a huge burst of sunlight. It was as if the rooftop had been torn open like some kind of packet.

In fact, that’s exactly what happened. Peering down at them through the hole was the Empress.

‘Oh, hi little one’ she said, ‘I didn’t know that you came here. But you should probably start following a new entity.’

One is Not Amused #warwick 32

And the toddlers are lining up for starter’s orders. It’s time for their close-up before they’re released into the wild. One of them has been released already and the other is expressing serious concern that she’s not getting the same treatment. It’s not clear whether the bigger one has purposefully been released early or whether she’s wriggled her way out of her handler. This could be declared a false start unless she’s been granted a head start. But there’s only one who is not amused. Yes, despite the taller one’s size, it looks like she’s been granted a whole block of stone. It must be the roll of the dice. I can’t see any other reason as to why she should be allowed an advantage. I don’t know what the sport is here but she certainly seems composed and rested compared to the smaller competitor. There must have been a foul in play. 

Lauren Laverne given 'all clear' following cancer diagnosis

So someone’s made a recovery from cancer. And that’s great. They’ve undergone a personal journey with a realistic transformation and a better outlook on life while appreciating the people who have helped her along the way. But I haven’t a clue who they are. I do watch the show that they’re involved with, but I’ve never seen them on it. It’s just ex-singers, wags, and footballers trying to make an extra buck. It makes you feel isolated when the media glorifies someone that you’ve never heard of. How are you supposed to know them? I realise that people do other things too, but I think there’s just too a high profile here for what they do. She’s been involved with some big names that I have heard of. I’ve no idea to suddenly seek her out after reading about her career. She’s involved with stuff that I’m not in to.

It's all Relative #warwick 31

I’ve got ramparts in my eyes, as if my dream is in my sight. There’s steps everywhere waiting for me to explore them. It’s like I’m in a Relativity painting and I’m trying to work out how it all connects and where everything is while not wanting to miss out on anything. The only thing that will get in my way is other visitors. It’d be cool to be able to charge about at speed around these corridors and chase off invaders. I also see it as the ultimate game of Hide and Seek. I don’t intend it, but as soon as I turn my back to read an information board, my friends have vanished into another section and it’s quite comical that we won’t catch up with each other and end up waving at one another from the top of a turret or something. At least it makes for interesting photos.

My parents are spending my inheritance. What can I do about it?

Have you drawn up a legal agreement or are you just concerned? If you have, the law is on your side and you can use it to force them into labour to protect yourself. Be aware that costs have increased and not everything runs according to plan. If you’re concerned, there’s other actions that you can take. You can seek out better employment or change your lifestyle so that money isn’t a worry to you. Or you could spend time with your parents. At least that way they’ll be sharing their wealth with you. They may also respect you for it. After all, it is their money. If they’re doing it out of spite, there’s not much you can do about it, unless you can prove that they’re incompetent in managing their funds and seek their power of attorney. But if you’re really desperate, you could make them disappear; though there are legal complications if you’re discovered. 

Bricking It #warwick 30

It looks like it’s all been put together very neatly, but it also looks very easy to push one of those bricks out. Either that or it’s designed to swing open with a little force from inside. It looks like you could pull out that whole rampart by tying a rope around its top and giving it a good yank. Even though it’s weathered, it’s amazing how straight they’ve managed to get everything considering the technology that they had available to them at the time. Someone would either have to measure the bricks or have a template made to ensure consistency. At least the locals have somewhere sturdy to retreat to in the event of an emergency, though the current owners may have something to say about that as it would eat into their profit margins. They’d have a great choice of places to visit for dinner though. They might even learn a trade.

Pukemobile #dreamdiary 187

It’s the first day of our holiday1 Our accommodation has a late-check-in so we’ve decided to kill some time by visiting a village stately home which is a bit of a walk away from where we’re staying. It’s further than we thought so we’ve called in a local taxi firm. There’s a bit of confusion over where our driver is going to meet us. We find our way out to the main road running through village. At first we get excited as a limo pulls up, then I realise that it’s a grey van. The taxi company has split our ride into two cars as some of us are going to different places and they don’t have large vehicles. I’m put into one lined with white walls and there’s malnourished children leaning up the sides. As we get moving, I notice that I’m covered in an orange substance. One of the kids is standing right behind me.

A Future Viewpoint #warwick 29

It’s not exactly the attire of the day. It’s as if a passing tourist has walked in on a historic moment of war being declared, hence the herald’s sword raised in the air to attract attention. I wonder if in the future there’ll be roped-off areas for time-travellers to gather so that they won’t get in the way of history; though they’ll also have to be cloaked and swear a vow of silence so that history won’t calculate that something’s up. Though you may be masked so that they can’t identify you, there’ll still want to question why you’re there, and it’s probably easier for them to despatch you rather than the other way around. But if you are there to change the course of history, then you need to act quick before other people get ideas. It’d be very easy to grab the scroll and sneak off back through the door.

Why Must You Treat Me So?

I got bullied a lot at school. I always ended up doing different things and no-one seemed to want to correct or help me. The teachers all seemed to be elderly and didn’t want to offer correction. So I wanted a character that I could get revenge on to punish them back for ruining my childhood years. There were a few things that I had to find out for myself as I didn’t have much to offer in the way of friendship. So this is the person who would cause me the most harm or they attempted to isolate me at my expense to enhance their own social standing and admiration. And yet when I tried to defend myself I just seemed to make things worse as no-one else had the courage to come to my aid. And of course, when I retreated, I was the hot topic of the playground and people had plenty of opportunities to come forward and enhance the bullying. This is my journey and my struggle and an attempt to get the revenge that I couldn’t get in real life.

Potty Man #warwick 28

And it’s all because of this, a little pot with a pair of eyes and a moustache moulded onto it, though you could be forgiven for thinking that it might be a penguin. Perhaps it was an offering to a small god. Its belly could be an angel with wings or a warrior preparing to fight. Perhaps it was crafted in memory of someone like a servant. Or maybe it’s a new range commissioned for the gift shop. It seems crazy that someone would purposefully make this to display, unless something went wrong and they just got creative. It might have been perched on a cork base, or one was provided and it’s hidden by the cloth. Its shiny glaze doesn’t make it scream an ancient relic but you never know. It’s too small for a water vessel, though it might have been used to store something stronger. There’s even a rim that could be a hat.

 

Give me a Vegetarian Recipe

It may seem a great idea at first to try something new, but it’s all done through the power of speech. Even if it’s a suggestion, you’re still going to have to google the whole thing including the ingredients and the method, or be prepared to write it down. Unless, of course, with a simple verbal agreement, Amazon has all of the ingredients boxed and ready to deliver to your home complete with an instruction card. Let’s just hope that you’ve got all the tools required to hand to prepare it. At least it tells you how long it takes to make it. It also gives you time to gather the ingredients, though you need to cook some of them first. Although by the time I’ve gathered them, Alexa seems to have forgotten what I was doing so I have to start the whole process over again. There’s also a lot to do in between steps.

#warwick 27

So how did these little minxes open a celestial gate? Perhaps they’d aligned the shadow of the sun at a perfect angle at exactly the right time when a flare was passing through the atmosphere to intercept it and summon it to do their bidding. A special laser consisting of mirrors and glass hidden deep inside the wheels traps and reflects the light to generate power to use the tower as an antenna. Or maybe they chanted an incantation that they found in an old library. It could have been an old text that hadn’t been stowed away properly and they decided to try it out to exploit its power, either for themselves or their community. They could have been watching something on TV like Charmed or Buffy and decided to give it a go themselves. One’s all set for a challenge while the other clearly doesn’t want the change.

"There are good times and bad times in life. Today you may be sad, but remember, tomorrow will be a new day and there will always be a reason to smile."

-Marcelo Velloso

When there’s a dark day ahead, it may be easier to hide away from it. Can you get away with not appearing? Can you feign an illness? What will happen if you don’t attend? Sometimes the consequences can be worse. But with a bit of preparation, you may find it easier to see it through. If you can see an end to it, than you can focus upon its conclusion with a celebration. Find something positive to focus in the day after and focus upon that. If you can get a period of rest at the end of it then hopefully you’ll be able to move forward the following day. It gets much harder when the sun comes up a lot later but you have to force yourself into a routine. You’ll enjoy it a lot more if you can encourage yourself to work through today’s problems otherwise it’ll keep hanging over you.  

Tiny Terrors #warwick 26

So what are the little girls going to be able to do with this? There’s already a net in front of them so maybe they’ve already launched something. It could be a ball full of powder that’s drifted off into the sky. They could have called a press conference to declare war upon their teacher. Or they could have already launched a reign of fire upon the door of the local sweet shop. It’s not likely that they’ve invented the thing, although they could have designed it and have recruited others to put the thing together. It would have made a great school project, though full marks may not be given for demolishing the school. One looks happy but the other has an expression of remorse as if she’s considering the consequences of her actions. It’s either that or the realisation that they’re going to have to share it with others.

 

Gigging Around

I’ve never been inside this place for a gig. I’ve dropped people off outside and occasionally I’ve been into the foyer to check the parking policy where there’s a tidy bar, a foyer with sofas and chairs, a snack counter and a ticket office. I did venture in for my covid jab where a maze of curtains transformed the place but I did look up to see spotlights hanging from the ceiling. They’ve had a few events on here that I’ve been interested in but I was either unavailable or they sold out very quickly. It’s great to see the building up and running again as it supported many community events. But it looks like the group whop was running it for the community have now had the keys taken away from them as the new owners attempt to attract big names to the venue. I hope that they’re able to keep it running smoothly and that it doesn’t fall into disarray again.

Take your Marks #warwick 25

They might be innocently frolicking or fishing for food but they could also be secretly lining up for an attack. It could be a defensive line to halt any boats from passing through or diverting them away for the banks. Perhaps there’s a nest nearby or a food source that they don’t want disturbed. Or perhaps they’re waiting for their numbers to build up before they reclaim more land. Or it could be the other way around and that they’re waiting for more humans to go away. They’re not big enough to change the flow of the water, though they certainly try by making ripples. They might gain a height advantage by having a bird scout the battlements, though they could easily be spotted there. They may already have a bird perched and hidden up in the trees or down in the reeds. They’re just waiting for a honk for go time.

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare

I had high hopes for this film. The trailer looked good and I really enjoyed the mocking in the first scene. But that looked to be the only humorous scene and things got far too serious after that. There were a couple of ‘god-mode’ executions that just made it unrealistic, and the penultimate scene was something akin to watching one of your mates play a computer game. The off-battle scenes were mostly too predictable. It’s a shame that the script got too close to the truth, and I think a better angle live a love interest could have been told. It also seems unrealistic that a ship could be declared ‘unsinkable’ just by reinforcing the hull. I did spend some time wondering where I’d seen these actors before playing similar roles. Cavill performs well in his role as leader and it’s nice to see him fully clothed for once. Kinnear merely plays dress-up in his role as the Prime Minister.

A Test of Strength

Lots of breweries pride themselves on brewing high-strength beers. In the past there’s been a race to see who could brew the strongest one. Tactical Nuclear Penguin and Sink the Bismark are just two examples of beers that have exceeded the 30% ABV mark. But who could sit down and drink a whole serving of these in one sitting? The cost would also be extortionate. I know of one bar that charged £5 just for a shot of this beer. I hope that the whole bottle was used. But sometimes you don’t want a strong one, especially if you’re driving. And if the choice isn’t offered, it might persuade you to go elsewhere. The point is that people want to enjoy these drinks. If they’re able to finish them, the only reason that they’re likely to purchase them again is for bragging rights. But there’s also been challenges to produce the lowest, bitterest and hoppiest beers.

Wild Goose Chase #warwick 24

You wouldn’t think it, but there’s lanes in the water. There’s circular ripples that geese drift on to get to where they need to go. Occasionally they have to change lanes to keep on track to their destination. And that’s where the chaos begins. Whether it’s a commute or a migration, the whole flock is constantly on the move. Their aim is to either position themselves for the best viewpoint, or put themselves forward in an ideal place to be the first in line for food, or to help protect the flock. As different birds have different objectives at different times, this often means bumping into each other. Some might use it as an excuse to copulate or assert dominance, others may find it a nice gesture. Be prepared or a lot of arguments as they chase each other, especially when the defender has had enough and flies off with the attacker in pursuit to either assert or explain their intentions.

If I win 8 million at the casino and leave immediately, what will be the consequences?

If you’re leaving immediately, then I’m assuming that you’re not stopping to cash any chips. That means that either the money is already in your account because you’re playing an on-line machine, or you’ve had a payout in cash. It’d be very hard for you to get far with two million quarters. Someone might help you or you might drop a few on the way. You’re also expected to tip the staff, but that depends if you’ve availed yourself of their services. They’ll certainly attempt to congratulate you if they find out. You can leave a bit more anonymously if you’ve been using a video machine, though there’s also the chance that it’s notified someone and they can follow you via the security cameras. You can perhaps expect some sort of hired goon to follow and stop you until they’ve engaged with you, unless you’ve physically left the chips on the table.

Visitors #warwick 23

What are all these people doing here? There’s so many of them. Some of them do help out. They mainly wear black or traditional dress and walk around slowly and purposefully leaving feed in bowls hidden from the eyes of others and carrying tools. Sometimes they ride around in shiny boxes carrying their equipment. The others park their boxes in a cluster outside of the green. Some of them work slow and build smaller carts for their young charges while others march purposefully in front of others, either to beat the queues or show their eagerness to explore. It’s these ones that look around then disappear at the end of the day, never to be seen again or at least for a long time. But when I give them the feather and show them my arse they love it and take loads of pictures. At least it encourages them to buy my merchandise from the shop.

Keeping Time

These timers have shrunk a bit. I suppose that it’s partly to save on the cost of producing plastic and partly because the technology has moved on and everything is being controlled by smart speakers and phones. Upon first use, I thought it would be really tough to use because I couldn’t push any of the time segments down. Then I discovered that they came pre-pressed. The smaller scale of the dial markers makes the time segments difficult to view. It’s also difficult to view the time needle, but if you’ve used one before then you don’t really need to read the instructions. There’s also a simple override switch for those times when you want on for a bit longer without having to re-program it. And there’s not much point in using it for anything other than a lamp, unless you were going to rig up something technical for a trap.

Peacocking #warwick 22

I wonder if they know their fate; that the lord of the land just waits for them to gain some weight before they pluck and cook them? Do they not know that they will be hunted at some point? If they see their mate go under the knife, will they attempt to defend them or attempt to hide or escape before they go the same way? What’s this one doing? At the moment, it’s unsure. It’s keeping its eye on the situation while planning an escape route at the same time. If it was me, I’d go into battle to get revenge, though I’d want to strike when no-one’s looking. I’d just keep jumping up to peck them without quitting and I wouldn’t give them the chance to arm themselves. If I needed a break, I’d put my feathers up. I’d never trust another human again. I’d rather steal from their food supply than use any bowls left out for me.

Christmas Bumps #dreamdiary 186

It’s an early sunny Christmas Day morning. I’m off to the other side of town to see the family. There’s a blue Volkswagen bug parked outside the house that I’ve never seen before but it’s not blocking the driveway. I back my car out, but I accidentally tap it. I have to stop and pull up to see if a mark has been left. A woman dressed in white is inside with her two children.  They get close as I back up and try and line up my car on the other side of the driveway. I can see that their boot is filled with presents. How long have they been sitting inside? I’m about to give a bad start to someone’s Christmas. Hopefully there’s no visible damage and I can get away with swapping insurance details and that’ll be the end of it, though it’ll probably have to be reported. She doesn’t look happy though.

Winging It #warwick 21 #sherduck 22

Buttons managed to find the desk sergeant in a matter of moments. What they could not locate was where the key was for the locker. It had been registered to Sherduck when he was thrown into the cell but they didn’t have a record of who signed him in or out since he’d been up to these antics before and they didn’t want to bring it to the attention of the superintendent. What they did have was a rather out-of-focus CCTV camera which triggered a separate investigation of how long it had been like that for and whether anyone had reported it to the maintenance team. When they’d rewound the footage back to the moment it was working correctly, it showed a tall black swan swatting it with its wings while being dragged towards a cell. It wasn’t a great lead but it was the only chance that they had at the time and because the quackademy taught them that they weren’t allowed to believe in coincidences they followed it up and circulated Drowser’s description.

 

Stud Squad #vampress 21

The vampress sighed. These little people were very good at pampering her. They’d bring food which she’d either swallow whole or slit open with her fingernails to suck the blood out of them, or the occasional outside witness which would either be drained and persuaded or disposed of depending upon their status and how much meat they carried. But what she really needed was…satisfaction. Occasionally a horse would be brought in to attempt to fill her needs but she could only get a quick go before the beast was startled and panicked itself to death despite however many tried to hold it down. What she really wanted was to be loved. She’d need to train a special team to attend to all of her sensitive areas. So she began to train a group of young men to transform into hunks. They’d be fed the finest meats then put through a strict exercise routine to ensure that they would perform.